Chapter Seventeen
For the first time since we met, we do manage to have a nice chatty dinner talking about normal stuff and go to bed. I am still worried that there haven’t been a crisis because my gut is telling me that there should be one. There must be one.
I am beginning to sound like a psycho here.
Well my wish is granted at exactly seven am the following morning. I easily walk out of my room stretching and wiping my eyes of sleep on my way to the kitchen for my morning coffee.
The first thing I see when I open my eyes completely is a farmilia scowl that I saw when…
Taking a gasp I step backwards and swallow a scream as I stare back at none other than one of the uncles. Nancy’s uncles actually, both of them here in the living room looking pissed as hell and now I cant help but wonder how they entered the house.
Did they make a break and entry? I wouldn’t deny it, but it would just be ridiculous so my only conclusion at this point is that maybe this is a dream or they are ghosts—
‘stop gawking at us and greet us young lady.’ One of the uncles—what was his name again?—raises an eyebrow at me, ‘a good morning at least.’
The other uncle who is the exact identity as the one (whose name I cant remember) just spoke nods in agreement. It would have been easier to remember their names if they didn’t look so damn alike.
Oh yes, in case I forgot to mention this vital information, Nancy happen to have two crazy twin uncles—and I am not exaggerating when I say crazy because they did break a record.
And now they are here and we are screwed.
‘uh—.’ My throat is completely dry, ‘how…’
‘wake everyone up at least.’ Uncle two says, ‘we need to have a long talk before we proceed back home.’
I gulp, ‘wake everyone—oh yes sure—and proceed back home, cant I just stay here I really don’t think I –.’
‘tick-tock July.’ Uncle one says,
I nod firmly before I whirl around towards the passage all the way to the last room where the men are sleeping because Ludo would only get us into more trouble and Nancy may suffer a heart attack. At least let them talk man to man.
I pound on the door only once and push it open. Maybe I was expecting to find three grown men completely knocked out and sleeping in awkward positions because what I meet inside makes my jaw to hit the floor.
All dressed showered and seated on stool, bed and windowsill looking like they are discussing real business.
‘what the hell?’ I whisper-shriek when sudden realization hits me, ‘please tell me you have nothing to do with what I left in the living room.’
Vincent sighs, ‘I suppose the uncles have arrived?’
My eyes go round, ‘and how long exactly have you been planning this rendezvous behind our back huh boys?’
‘look who’s talking—you brought Tasha behind my back.’
I glare daggers at Vincent, ‘tasha was harmless but the twin uncles? It might as well be judgement day.’
Question laughs and I turn to him, ‘how and when did you get the twin uncles to come here? And most of all why?’
Vincent comes to cup my elbow, ‘relax Jules—its just damage control. I cant see Nancy’s parents without the uncles—they are for reconciliation but our parents seem to have some issues with the news,’
‘of course they do Vincent—what does this have to do with the uncles?’
‘its men business.’ Joshua jumps in coming to stand between me and Vincent, ‘you don’t even have to be involved.’
‘excuse me?’ I plant my hands on my hips, ‘after all I went through because of this issue you want to kick me out as soon as the twin uncles come to create some drama I don’t think so.’
‘oh for pete’s sake I cant argue with you about this right now, can you just let me deal with this one please?’
Vincent is actually pleading people. Well I have been seeing a lot of his soft side lately so I cave in
‘fine—you deal with your things but it would help next time to inform us ahead of time before planting uncles in the middle of the living room at seven am in the morning.’
‘noted, wont happen again.’
Vincent nods at Question and they both train out of the room leaving me alone with Josh.
‘are you not going with them?’ I scowl at him in confusion.
‘this has nothing to do with me.’
‘but Question…’
‘he’s the one who answered the call when the uncles called and directed them here so that makes him very much involved.’
I heave a sigh, ‘I should at least have made my coffee.’ I fold my arms.
Josh pulls me into his arms and buries his face in the crook of my neck, ‘I have something in mind better than a caffeine fix.’
Oh my.
***
And an hour later the uncles and the rebel son-in-law come to an agreement that we finally leave for Gaborone immediately, rushing us all about as if we are in pre-school. It takes exactly seconds before Ludo loses it.
‘who do they think they are?’ she seethes as she zips her bag, ‘most people deal with midlife crisis at age forty not make other people’s lives miserable.’
‘right,’ I agree with her because I don’t like the uncles anymore than she do right now, ‘cant we just load them in a car and send them off we are not the one getting married.’
‘I am being charged for rescuing a friend from her own wedding.’
‘for trying to save an innocent person from heart break.’
‘this is just so frustration.’
I know I know, we are grumbling like four year olds but man you should have seen the morning that I just had. Hectic and crazy is the word. Ludo and I huff and throw our frustrated bodies on the bed in a sitting position, arms folded, definitely sulking.
‘we should do something about this,’ ludo suggests
‘no, I am not doing anything about anything with you.’
‘come on Jules, do you really want to be dragged in the middle of that family meeting.’
‘why would I be dragged in the middle? I am not Vincent or Nancy, I am just supporting.’
‘is that so? What about the promise you made to Mr Babusti.’
My scalp prickles—crap—I had sort of forgotten about that.
‘it wont count if I don’t see him.’
Ludo lets out a scornful snicker, ‘Mr Babutsi and your parents are childhood friends—goodluck, unless you skip town, change your name and never to be heard from again.’
‘this isn’t one your movies Ludo—be realistic, I am sure that he will see it was out of my hands.’
JOSHUA
‘whats going on?’ is uncle Harold’s answer to my call after five missed calls mind you. Sometimes I would like to believe that Vincent is his real son and I am the distant cousin.
‘why would you assume that something is going on when I call you?’
‘simple Josh—the last time you called me was when Vincent needed bail.’
I haven’t called him since then? Oh that weird. Ok maybe dad who I referre to as uncle Harold thanks to Vincent—and I do not have that call every night and remember our birthdays kind of relationship but at least I do check on him once in a while to tell him that I am alive,, that should count for something.
And in my defense that last time I called him to solve a Vincent trouble I had been so traumatized by the whole thing. The bastard nearly beat this guy to death just because he wanted to slit my throat. Okay another story for another time, bottom line is that it had been bad, really bad.
‘don’t you think I care to check on my dear father once in a while?’ I say in mock-shock
‘cut to the chase Josh I have to go in five minutes.’
‘okay you asked for it.’
‘I didn’t ask for it you called me.’
‘you cant reject your parental responsibilities to Vincent just because he has huddles with life there and then that’s not human.’
A growl, ‘do you know how hard it is to raise two sons without a mother young man—I am the best you got—and I know you are mimicking me right now so stop it.’
I grin, ‘I was, actually—too bad you cant do anything about it… besides I tried to introduce you to mother figure women.’
He laughs sarcastically, ‘your pre-school teacher.’
‘among the others.’
He scoffs, ‘okay I am ready to hear the bad news now.’
So I relay to him all the events that took place after Vincent’s disastrous wedding and in conclusion he threw heavy curse words at me and hung up.
***
JULY
The trip back to Gaborone was uneventful, maybe because the twin uncles were in their own car with the controversial couple. Thank God. Question and Ludo did not even bicker all the way—suspicious chills anyone?
Then there is me and Josh—all I can say that it takes every nerve of control in Ludo’s system (whichever system is incharge of helping people to keep their mouth shut) to not scream about what a sickening couple that we are.
But all in all we make it back home in one piece. You know that feeling you get when you arrive home fater a long pleasant trip? Its nit—the only thing that’s rushing all over my body is the tension hanging in the air. And too bad some of us have to rush straight to work the following morning instead of staying around to find out what fun Vincent and Nancy are having. Well I don’t envy them of course, like I am sooo glad that I am not one of them right now. Especially if they want to redo the wedding againg- sheesh—so glad im not one of them…
‘a week.’ I look at Bianca my HR manager in wonder, ‘I go for a week and you guys have managed to wrap up and file ten incident reports and three trnasferes.’
‘what can I say?’ Bianca is ready to go into hysterics and I’m like bro that’s my role, ‘I cant wrap my head around it myself.’
I heave a sigh, ‘Bianca, the reason you are always in charge and why you have the authority to order these people around is because you are the only one who understands that this is a small school thriving among schools that have existed since civilization and quite frankly it’s a tough market out there so please you cannot let people who only come here for their pay check ruin its existence.’
‘I know Ms Jules—I have managed to apply some effective damage control well except for the three transferes.’
‘tell me the reason why I shouldn’t just fire everyone and start afresh with normal human beings?’
And later during lunch I meet up with Ludo and the daughter of a motherless goat is laughing her lungs off at me.
‘and you thought the trip was tough?’ I take a sip of my coke, ‘the curse of chaos has landed in my school.’
Ludo rolls her eyes once she manages to stop laughing, ‘they are kids Jules—kids get hurt and you do have ten classes—the bright side to all this is that only one person got hurt in each class.’
I narrow my eyes at her, ‘doesn’t it seem like a conspiracy to you?’
‘it better not be—but relax Jules—you are stressed out.’ Ludo says airily, ‘damn we are all stressed out—I cant get those those bastards out of my head its like we are the ones in trouble.’
‘I know right?’
‘and to think that Nancy hasn’t returned my messages since yertserday.’
I raise my set of eyebrows at her, ‘Ludo we just got here like yesterday and you are already on her neck—give her some space she is probabaly trying to not get disowned at the moment.’
‘oh please like Mr. Babutsi could ever disown his only daughter, he’d rather murder Vincent.’
I twist my lips, ‘or both of them.’
Ludo shakes her head skeptically, ‘no maybe they can run away together and die together like Romeo and Juliet.’
‘maybe Mr Babutsi can go for the ridding of Vincent option—do you think he is capable of hiding a body?’
‘well he doesn’t exactly pass off as a serial killer.’
We remain silent for a moment thinking about what Mr Babutsi could possibly be doing about the current situation…
Then Ludo asks all of a sudden, ‘do you think I’m crazy for thinking that Question is kinda hot?’
I am deep in dark morbid thoughts of in-laws murdering each other and the\n…
‘what?’
‘Question—he is kind of not my type.’
‘is anyone?’
Ludo scowls at me, ‘what is wrong with you?’
‘how do you drift form Mr Babutsi as a possible serial killer to Question being not your type?’
‘its called thinking—its happens in your head.’
‘I guess your mind blabbers the same way as your mouth.’
Ludo huffs, ‘why are we so worried about this? Its none of our business—I have work and you have work cant we worry about that—and you have a new relationship to carter for.’
I raise my eyebrows, ‘why does it need cartering?’
‘why are you two avoiding each other since the trip ended yesterday?’
I try all by means to not cringe outwardly. I have been trying so hard to not think about that. It was a long trip, we are all tired. Besides Josh is busy trying to help his cousin and since he left abruptly he probably is still trying to manage his work and stuff. I didn’t have time to pick up the phone and call him either so whats the big deal?
‘I am not a clingy person.’
Ludo raises an eyebrow, ‘if it was a starting thing and you had only held hands and blew each other kisses it would make sense—but after the burning passion you guys ignited the last few days of the trip…’
‘geez Ludo!’ I groan.
‘I don’t want to act as if I have any inkling idea of what the hell really happened between you two but this is just wrong.’
‘change of topic please?’
‘that is why you are freaking out about ten incident reports.’
‘you don’t run a pre-school.’
‘I am a criminal lawyer.’
‘its not the same.’
‘no but I know a crime when I see one and not calling the woman you have been screwing for days is a serious crime I am officially putting you in a stone castle if he wants to see you then he’s gonna hve to go through me first.’
I want to laugh—Ludo is nutty, I give up.
‘don’t you have any hobbies to do—like raising a garden of poisonous ivy?’
‘I can do that?’
I shrug, ‘might as well start a thorn orchard—you like chaos so much you would die if world peace won the bill.’
Ludo snorts and laughs, ‘ you are dramatic you know that?’
‘yeah that’s why I managed to stay friends with you all these years.’
***
Two minutes ago, my legs had been dangling carelessly from the couch arm, the credits of a just ended chick lit starting to come up the screen and popcorn well exhausted. Now I am removing braids from my face looking at Nancy as she stands tall in the middle of the room with her dreadful announcement.
‘you what?’ Ludo asks, her voice as tired as mine
‘I want you guys to be the fore front planner of my wedding re-do.’
I suppose things finally worked out with he great uncles and Mr. Babutsi. Good for her but then..
‘we are thrilled you want us to be taking the lead role during your wedding but as a villain I’d rather lark in the background than have old women point at me when they run our of gossip.’
Ludo nods, ‘I bought a blonde wig.’
I give Ludo a tired sideways glance, ‘seriously?’
‘I am planning a wonder woman hide tactic might as well complete the entire look.’
I shake my head and concentrate on Nnacy, ‘bottom line is that we’d rather not attend the wedding.’
Nancy lets out a Hollywood worthy gasp, ‘I will tear both of you to pieces before you refuse to come to the most important day of my life.’
Ludo raises a finger, ‘stow the violence aside—you already have enough scandal to last your next three generations, do you really need us there to make another story line for you?’
I reach for a glass of coke on the table, ‘I can almost hear one of your great aunts.’ I take a long big sip, ‘oh those are the two girls who kidnapped poor Nancy from her own wedding.’
‘and they weill probabaly scorn us for any eligible bachelor out there.’
‘and label us trouble maker we wont ever attend family gatherings the same way again.’ I glance at Ludo, ‘the time for me to start ditching family gatherings has arrived.’
‘you can say that again sister.’
‘guys.’ Nancy claps, ‘this isn’t a bloody joke.’
‘do we look like we are joking,’ Ludo gestures between us while I down the coke and nod simaltanously.
‘you have to be--- what the hell am I supposed to do at my wedding without you guys.’
I raise my set of eyebrows, ‘uh, tie yourself to Vincent for all eternity and then attend the reception before you run off to the good part?’ I offer.
Nancy's nostrils flare up, , "well for your own information this is not up for discussion, you are a big part of this wedding starting right now," she points at Ludo, "you are coming with me for my hair do," and then that same finger is directed right between my eyes, "you are going to fetch my dress,"
I open my mouth to protest but Ludo nods before I do.
***
I heave a long sigh as I park my car in front of the wedding dresses shop. I lock the door and march into the shop where I am greeted by a tall elderly lady who has an i-know-everything air around her
She doesn't waste time to confirm my perception as she talks on and on about Nancy before I finally manage to get the dress. After a long lecture about how to handle wedding dresses I finally manage to put it nicely on the back seat.
Feeling relieved to have escaped the dress shop I put on my seat belt and turn the key on the ignition. I am about to release the handbrake when my eyes clash upon a farmilia face walking out of the jewellery store that is neighbors with the dresses shop.
I blink a few times before I lean towards my windscreen to get a better look. I also pick up my jaw from the dashboard, not that Josh and the woman he is walking hand in hand with look so good they'd give a celeb couple a run for their money but because they exchange a sloppy kiss in front of everyone as if we are right in the middle of New York City.
I lean back in my seat and take a deep breath to calm nausea attack incoming . Once I get a hold of myself I release the handbrake and get out of there before my inner drama queen decides to emerge.
Back at Nancy's house everyone seems to have gotten in the jolly wedding festive mood. Even Mr Babutsi just says "hey kiddo," with a small hug and walks off to the kitchen where Nancy's aunt was trying a new receip for the big day,
"You are such a darling." Nancy gives me a hug before she returns to the stool where the hairdresser is working on her
"So we need to see the venue tomorrow and make sure everything is set and ready before Saturday, no misharp no mistakes."
I raise an eyebrow, "and who has trusted us with such a task that shouldn't have any drama?"
Ludo purses her lips, "stop being so dramatic Jules, we are setting things right."
I roll my eyes, "yeah finally doing something important in the society."
***
It is three hours later that I get home and after a long shower I love on my bed and begin to process everything that took places today that I remember what I saw
Thinking about it now it seems like just the fragments of my own made up imagination.
How am I even supposed to feel about this? I'm not sure what I just saw.
Oh for Pete's sake I know what I saw. I just don't want to believe it. suddenly Ludo's words come back to me like slides in my mind.
I mean since we got back from the vecation if I can call it that, things have been topsy turvy and I hardly had time to breathe.
I didn't think the silent era we had entered into meant that he had returned to his life and women who looked like they were born in model magazines
Thing is I didn't even know that about Josh.... Okay the double fact is that I know nothing about him at all. To think that after all this time since my horrible breakup I've been wary of who I went out with...
And (as they say) then there is Josh. Where did he even come from? At this point I am still in a phase of shock. I fall asleep like that.
I mean what can I do. I am still trying to convince myself that I may have projected the whole thing from a Hallmark movie.
A strange sound wakes me. I think I may have ignored it more than once until I sit up on the bed and glare at the dim room.
There is silence for a moment, maybe a minute. I'm about to go back to sleep when a thunderous noise shakes my entire apartment. My eyes widen as sleep quickly takes flight.
Who in the ever loving hell knocks the door like that at... What time is it?
I take my phone from the bedside table. It's seven am. Still three hours of sleep before I do life so what the hell.
Grumbling and muttering profanities I slip my feet into house slippers before shuffling noisily to the front door.
"What are we going to do now?" Ludo freaks out marching into my apartment with the thunder and lightning shaking behind her like she just escaped the dwellings of hell
"Uh-."
She whirls around to face me, she seems close to hysterical, "can we find a big enough place to fit over a hundred people in a day and then tell all those people the change of plans, what about the platform who is good to move that thing?"
I scowl at her, " uh_."
"The only option now is to convince those two to just have a private court wedding and get it over with... But when have any human been able to convince Vincent of anything?"
"Hey, alright, freeze, stop, take a breath and hold it." I raise two hands to stop her, "what the hell are you talking about? Did someone die?"
She blinks at me, seeming surprised that I have no idea what has turned her world upside down at seven am in the morning on a Friday no less.
‘have you been paying attention? It’s a chaos July, the wedding is ruined unless we find a way to relocate the venue and redirect the guests within eighteen hours.’
‘uh why?’
Ludo looks like she wants to kill me and I look like someone who is about to die for something they don’t know about. With an angry huff she walks to the curtain and draws it open reviewing the dark sky crammed with heavy clouds that poured rain out of them like it is judgement day.
I look at the scene for two seconds and I look at Ludo because I still don’t get it.
‘its raining.’ Ludo exasperates,
‘yes because its summer and it does rain towards the end of November.’
Ludo draws her lips into a thin line, a look that I learned she used in the court room.
So I raise my palms at her as a piece offering, ‘look I m not going to figure out what the hysterics are all about if you keep giving me evil eyes and not explain to me what in the ever--.’ I stop mid-sentence as realisation hits me, ‘oh,’ I look outside again this time with fresh eyes, ‘oh no, no, its raining.’
Ludo closes the curtains, ‘good you are awake, so what can we do?’
‘there is no way we can relocate the wedding preserve the guests in eighteen hours Ludo.’
‘my point exactly!’
‘so what should we do?’
‘I came here to ask you because I have no idea.’
I take a breath, ‘maybe it wont be raining tomorrow?’
‘weather report says it will be.’
I shrug, ‘fine then we can just do the church service and go home.’
‘but we promised Nancy that we are going to see to it that this wedding happens,’
‘well first of all, you agreed with Nancy and emotionally blackmailed me into being partners with you—secondly we didn’t summon the rain, why should it be our responsibility to clean up after it?’
Ludo folds her arms and bore me down with that I’m-going-to-murder-you look, ‘you want to go in your pyjamas?’