Chapter Eighteen
JOSHUA
‘do you think it’s a faze?’ I ask Question seriously before I slide a Doritos chip in my mouth.
Question picks out a chip from my packet and does the same, ‘a frenzy.’
‘like that?’
‘it’s a thing people like him go through during this time, its like a life changing episode it will be over soon.’
‘Should we help speed it up?’
‘I am exhausted, leave it alone, it’s a natural process.’
I nod but still don’t agree, ‘do you think the bachelor party will fix him?’
I hoped so. The sight of Vincent sprawled on the floor grinning at his cell phone screen is like watching an apocalypse.
‘Relax, he will be back to normal in a few months—people eventually get bored with each other with time.’
I nod again and slowly close the door before returning to the living room Question behind me to finish a football match. A big deal football match Vincent declined to attend—that’s why I am so worried.
‘I don’t know how to tell you this.’ Question says as soon as our butts hit the couch, ‘but Vincent moved the bachelor party to the party where there is peace and calmness.’ He air quotes.
‘you are messing with me—its his last night to party as a single man, he cant seriously be planning to spend it counting stars.’
Question shrugs, ‘aparantly he is saving himself for Nancy.’
I scoff, ‘when did you two have a heart to heart conversation without me?’
‘when you went out with Lolipop.’
‘that’s not her real name.”
‘so are you two back together or what?’
‘oh please be serious Q,’
‘so why the date?’
‘it wasn’t a date.’
‘oh so it was a what? You decided to just hook up like old friends.’
I turn to face Question, ‘do you have a problem?’
He raises two eyebrows at me, ‘do I have a problem? I thought you were serious about July.’
I look away from him and focus on the tv, ‘when have I ever gotten serious about chicks Q, please be realistic.’
‘never Josh—which is why I know that it was different with July.’
‘look.’ I raise a palm without looking at him, ‘the trip was stressful and July was hot and available, I don’t know who said that we were going to live happily ever after.’
A long silence follows and I can feel Question’s eyes on me. I don’t want to look at him or he will see the precipitation on my forehead.
‘it scares you doesn’t it?’
I turn to him, ‘can you just drop this topic Q we are not girls,’
He narrows his eyes at me and I just want to go close myself in my room (like a girl) but the problem is that the two bastards have been crashing at my place getting ready for the wedding I don’t even have enough private place to have a girl-worthy breakdown without the two braggadocios hovering over me.
‘you are afraid of the shift being with July has caused you, you just don’t want your peaceful routine life disturbed because it makes you feel safer.’
‘my peaceful routine life?’
‘yes Josh—your immature frat lifestyle—your carefree, hit them and run lifestyle where you never have to trust anybody or rely on anyone emotionally—that kind of lifestyle.’
I close my eyes and open them, ‘why am I receiving this lecture?’
‘because you are an idiot that’s why? You see something real and you run for the hills screaming, if you didn’t want to keep with the relationship you didn’t have to return to Lollipop—that is so low man.’
I grind my teeth and focus on the tv screen. I really don’t want to have this conversation where I feel like a fat cow has nestled in the middle of my chest. A strange emotion that scares the hell out of me. it would have been better if I could manage to do anything with Lollipop (as Question and Vincent calls her) but July has been appearing at the forefront of my mind like an angry ancient ghost---
‘stop thinking and just go with it.’
‘why?’
‘because you are seconds away from moping around running from your true feelings just because you don’t want to risk your precious little emotions.’
Vincent saves me the love life lecture by walking into the living room, his eyes shining, I nearly cringe when I imagine myself with that look on my face over a woman. It wasn’t that scary when we were in Kasane away from reality. But when I stepped into the real world, its as if my eyes were opened and I’m still asking myself what the hell was I thinking.
‘we need to go to the park, weather has sort of complicated things.’ Vincent says.
‘you can go, I will babysit the house.’ I suggest.
‘July wont be there.’ Vincent says, ‘they don’t want to be involved too much after the chaos they created.’
I nearly breathe a sigh of relief and manage a curt nod, ‘lets go then.’
JULY
‘two large tents.’ I conclude after all the banter about moving the reception into the hotel conference room, ‘I think a little rain can create a romantic atmosphere.’
‘right,’ Nancy seem to agree with me, ‘I think that can work,’
‘and the mud?’ Ludo asks
‘well the mud-phobic can stay inside and sip wine with soft music I will make sure to bring the real party out here.’
Ludo scoffs, ‘party? You? What are you going to blast, weather blues?’
The two traitor unsupportive confidence-killing evil friends laugh.
‘maybe that will keep you two out of my sight.’ I retort.
‘no I think it will work—at least I don’t have to contact all those relatives with change of venue.’ Ludo falsely wipes sweat off her forehead.’
‘and please don’t bring the blonde wig.’ Nancy says.
‘and don’t barge into my house at seven am.’ I add
‘oh come on Jules I already apologized for that.’
‘not enough.’
‘there you are!’ a deep voice says behind us instantly lighting a bright smile on Nancy’s face. by the time Ludo and I turn to see the guys walking in Nancy and Vincent are already hands and lips on each other.
‘get the priest and marry these two already before we all need therapy.’ Question quips as he and Josh approach us.
‘that’s a sick joke,’ Ludo folds her arms, ‘what on earth are you three doing here?’
‘why? Do we have a problem?’
‘yes,’ Ludo lowers her voice, ‘he is not suppose to come within two meters of her until the wedding tomorrow, everybody knows that.’
Question turns to me with a questioning look.
‘don’t look at me I am already sleep deprived after she transformed from serial kidnapper to super wedding planner.’ I say tiredly, partly because I am tired and also partly because Josh is there standing close to me and I cant bring myself to look at him. it all hits me at once, especially the hollywood lip lock scene I accidentally saw yesterday.
‘but anyway, crisis reverted,’ Ludo says with a proud smile, ‘the wedding will go on even if it rains cats and dogs tomorrow.’
‘and we should all sleep soundly knowing that its all in your hands?’
Seriously, Question and Ludo could be siblings in another life, or a toxic married couple.
‘I have capable hands.’ Ludo raises her chin.
Question draws a grin that makes my cheeks burn, ‘don’t I know that too well! Almost died actually.’
Ludo purses her lips, ‘come with me,’ she yanks Question’s arm and leads him away leaving me alone with Josh.
I turn to look at him—why is he looking at me like that?
‘what?’
‘why are you ignoring me?’
I shrug, ‘isn’t that what you want? We are way past pretentious small talk.’
He takes a deep breath, ‘I am sorry about the phone calls and texts,’
I want to hit my head against the wall. Yes I did send him texts and calls he never returned. Talk about a major douchebag.
‘fine.’
‘fine?’
‘yeah what do you want me to say?’
‘i-.’
‘don’t have to explain yourself—I get it, it was the thing of the moment and we are back here—to our real lives.’
I don't look at him again as I turn and walk away before my emotional blubbering gets worse. I could have asked about the woman though, but does it really matter? I don't need him to confirm the truth that is glaringly staring me in the face
It was a faze, whatever that happened during that road trip that no human can explain is over and I had been stupid enough to emotionally invest into it
We both were. Now it's time to focus on something more authentic
Nancy and Vincent real live story
JOSHUA
I want to run after her
Seeing her again all the fears and doubts that had been fogging my mind just evaporated.
I am as sure about my feelings for her as I had been days ago nomatter how insane all this is
Question was right, I finally managed to open my heart to someone with so little effort and it scared the living day lights out of me.
It is time to tell July the truth about myself.
THE WEDDING
JULY
It's not a perfect sunny day with rose scents and butterflies but the heavens are kind enough to send soft rain one would be tempted to cry under.
Okay that would be me and my depressed thoughts. It's Nancy's day, I will deal with my issues later. But nomatter how many times I tell myself that I still feel the heavy cloud of gloom hanging over me. The universe is a cruel place.
All is set." Ludo marches into the room with a notepad and cute umbrella in hand, " half the guests have arrived and I made sure the talkative aunts stay inside, we should be safe until after the rain recedes."
I turn from the window to look at her, "and how did you manage to do that?"
She shrugs, _you learn a thing or two from criminals."
I roll my eyes "right."
"Okay so let's be ready, the wedding starts in thirty minutes I'll go check if Nancy is still alive after her nervous breakdown."
"Great."
She gives me a taut smile, "and when this is all over we need to have a serious conversation."
I narrow my eyes at her, "about what?"
"Your lover boy, the tension between you two was so thick yesterday I nearly suffocated."
I purse my lips "Ludo mind on the matter okay."
She gives a shrug, "okay, we'll talk unless you want me to bash his head in to cut the long story short.'
"Ludo!"
"Just saying, we girls look out for each other."
I roll my eyes as she walks out.
***
The ceremony actually goes well. It doesn't stop raining and there was this awkward moment when the pastor asked if anyone was against this union and I swear I felt eyes on Ludo and me.
But at least Vincent managed to win all the affections of the family. I think they can make it.
The reception was just as planned. The young ones outside and the older once inside. Even the twin uncle's were inside, thank God
Then there was the time for speeches and Ludo decided to stamp and seal us both as chaotic psychotic friends aka kidnappers with a speech that went something like this
"The moment I laid my eyes on these two together I decided and determined that they didn't belong together. So when Nancy called for rescue I did not hesitate because I decided to go with my gut
"So to cut the long story short I admire Vincent and Nancy for not giving up on their love and I would also like to say sometimes guts can be wrong as I have come to learn that beneath the douche is a man who can take care of my friend.
"So to Vince and Nance."
I think the only reason people joined in the toast was because of the staring down Ludo did.
I waited until she planted her butt on the chair next to mine
"That was the worst speech since Adolf Hitler."
She puts her glass down and raises an eyebrow at me, "Hitler gave great speeches why do you think half of Germany followed him."
"Manipulative half-truths of a speech that led to chaos in the end."
"Alright I couldn't help pulling Vincent's collar a little, it was fun."
"Fun? You called him a douche bag in front of all the relatives and confessed our crime to everyone within hearing distance... I am now going to lodge with a hermit because I will never show my face to these people ever again”
Ludo lifts the glass to her lips "quit being dramatic.... Tell me, do you want to deal with the other douche or hide I'm feeling rather charitable."
I scoff, "what douche? I didn't do anything wrong."
"So that means he did because he has that can-we-talk look on his face."
"The what?" I scowl at her before it dawns on me. He is already there the moment I whirl my head to face him.
"Is offer still in plate?"I ask Ludo as I look back at Josh warily
"You bet." Ludo's mouth pull into a smirk.
"Can we talk?"
I really don't want to talk to him and I am more than willing to toss him to Ludo to deal with but then that mature part of me kicks in.
"Sure,"
Ludo shockingly keeps her mouth and attitude shut as I walk away with Josh.
The backside garden has a little rundown gazebo that we had to cover with Christmas lights and enormous decorations because it looked more like a witch doctor's hut
That is where Josh leads me and shuts the door. Do we really have to talk?
I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to relax and let him do the talking but instead in a moment of total—craziness I explode.
‘who was that woman?’ I raise my hand after he takes seconds to widen his eyes and I suppose the opening of his mouth is in preparation to answer, ‘never mind that—why were you moving on without informing me? this is a civilized society now if you don’t want to be stuck in a relationship like all guys nowadays you could have simply said so instead of just ghosting me like that.’
‘I am not most guys,’ he says and I raise an eyebrow, ‘okay maybe I am and I didn’t want a relationship--.’
I interrupt, ‘yes there you said it—was that so hard?’
‘that’s not what I mean?’
‘what else could it possibly mean?’
‘you don’t want to listen to me.’
‘oh so now its my fault that you cant express yourself better?’
When he holds my shoulders I freeze for a moment thinking that he is going to shake me, ‘July—look, I messed up okay? Yes I am a douche and I treated you badly--.’
‘worse than bad.’
‘I got scared and I started thinking all kinds of crazy stuff.’
This is getting nowhere and I really need closure on this Josh thing so I decide to stick to my own theory.
‘you don’t have to feel bad just because we got caught up in the moment during a road trip okay—for all I know I got caught up in it too—so lets do each other a favor and move on from it without all this pretense.’
‘I wasn’t pretending when I said I loved you.’
‘oh and you kiss another woman in public the next few days, is that how you show your seriousness?’
He is silent for a moment and I’m about to retract my shoulders from his hold when he speaks again, ‘I thought that maybe if I get involved with a random woman all this between us would turn out to be some flap.’
‘that’s even worse than worse,’ I exclaim, I mean dude, ‘why are you telling me all this, why cant you just let it go—I don’t need to know your sex life after you just cheated on me,’
‘nothing happened between us July I swear, it was just a kiss and then I realised that this was real..’
I stop him, ‘oh so you needed to kiss another woman to know that it was real.’ Pause, ‘you know that is so messed up, crazy even—you know what lets just forget it and don’t touch me.’ his hands drop from my shoulders and I don’t spare him a look before I turn and walk back to the wedding reception party.