Chapter Nineteen
JOSHUA
I don’t know why Question is looking at me like that. I get the raised eyebrows because this indeed is a raised eyebrows moment, but does he have to widen his eyes as if I just killed someone and tossed the headless body into the quarry.
‘if you needed help expressing yourself you could have asked, I could have written down a few lines, even Vince would have spared a few moments of his wedding to save your relationship.’
‘it wasn’t that bad.’
Who am I kidding, it was a disaster, I practically cringe at every flash of that exchange and I am not a cringer.
Question laughs, ‘you are screwed—I don’t think July will ever want to set her eyes on you ever again.’
‘oh come on there has to be a way I can fix this—I can’t lose July.’
‘well I don’t want to go down the lane with you where I tell you that you should have just been honest with her in the first place in the lines of telling her how you were a serial ladies man and suddenly went gooey eyed for her and it scared the shit out of you.’
‘okay Doctor Phil, how do we ratify the present situation.’
Question sits up in a straighter posture like he is some kind of guru, I endure it because, well I screwed up, ‘look, growing up with Tasha I know one thing about women.’
‘Tasha is a nut case.’
‘do you want the secret or not?’
‘sorry I take that back,’
‘she obviously cares about you enough to get upset about you kissing another woman.’
‘anyone can get upset over that Q.’
‘yes but it’s the nature of upset that matters—there is the upset that says someone is just mildly disappointed because well it wasn’t serious and they expected a little exclusivity from you and then there is the upset where by someone had invested their feelings in you and you hurt them.’
‘ookay.’
‘so which one was July.’
‘I don’t know man—she wouldn’t even let me finish a sentence without slicing me in half.’
‘so it’s the second one—we can work well with that one.’
I scowl at him, ‘how do we do that.’
He crooked his finger for me to lean in close. I actually leaned closer to have Question whisper the secret to me.
JULY
I blow my nose while Ludo looks like she wants to kill someone.
‘I’m sorry darling I shouldn’t have let you go with him, the no good son of a boneless worm,’
‘worms don’t have bones either way Ludo.’ I say followed by a hiccup.
‘well son of a motherless goat.’ She fumes, ‘you should have let me beat him up.’
‘I am a magnet for cheaters.’ I say with defeat, ‘and I always fall for them fast—I need therapy.’
‘you cant project David into every man you meet.’
‘but every man I fall in love with hurts me,’
‘calm yourself—I will get you justice—I am a criminal lawyer and breaking my best friend’s heart is a crime against humanity. Besides, Josh is the only guy you’ve met since David you cant label yourself a magnet until you reach at least number five.’
I reach for another tissue while my phone buzzes next to me. I don’t look at it but Ludo answers it anyway.
‘why are you calling me?’ she snaps into the phone, I hope its not one of my clients.
‘yes I know its not ,my phone but as of now it is—so why are you calling.’ She raises a chin, ‘rejected—are you his lawyer or something?’ who is Ludo talking to? ‘no we cant do that—no I refuse to subject my friend to your shenanigans.’
She pressed the end call icon and tosses the phone on the bed.
‘the audacity—can you believe he called to negotiate terms?’
‘what?’
‘he knew you wouldn’t answer Vince’s calls so he called himself and he asked for a meeting.’
I am a mess but I cant help to ask, ‘what? Is this war or something?’
‘it is now.’
***
With Vince and Nancy off at their honeymoon you’d think that there is no more drama but alas here I am at seven pm side by side with Ludo in Debonairs pizza, Question and Joshua seated at the other side. I have no idea why Question decided to wear a formal shirt and carry a binder with him. He looks like a damn lawyer. Ludo just came straight from work and she is in all her criminal lawyer glory.
How in the ever loving hell did I end up here?
‘so I brought all the evidence to show that my friend really loves July and didn’t mean to hurt her—we can save ourselves all the argument and just go through it.’
Ludo straightens her spine, ‘and what exactly is this evidence in? Did you write an autobiography.’
I look at Question as he answers, ‘these are pictures of the before and after Joshua.’
Josh looks at Question in shock and Question raises a palm at him I haven’t been allowed to say a word either, I even gave up. We are having a court session in the middle of a pizza restaurant.
‘well I’m afraid there is not enough evidence to erase the lying bastard that your friend is… my friend is no longer interested in this relationship and we are here to ask for a peaceful closure.’
‘I’m afraid that is not possible, my friend believes that your friend is the love of his life therefore letting her go is not an option.’
‘may I please speak.’ Josh says.
‘no!’ Ludo and Question exclaim at the same time.
‘and what has your friend done to show her that she is the love of his life?’ Ludo continues, ‘because my friend is no longer interested in this relationship let alone him—so all we want is to let you know that this is over and she can move on in peace.’
Josh starts to rise and Question pushes him back down, ‘my friend does not deserve to be tossed aside without given a chance to express himself—I can assure you that my friend is very much distressed about the way things went and would like the chance to fix it.’
‘well last time your friend claimed to fix things he bragged about his sexual prowess and how it was different with my friend.’ Ludo formed fists on the table, ‘I’m afraid that kind of statement is unforgiveable.’
‘in the moment where a lot of words were exchanged there are a lot of misunderstandings—allow my friend to rephrase that particular statement.’
‘I’m afraid that particular statement cannot be rephrased.’
Question finally opens his binder and takes out a small piece of paper, ‘my friend wasn’t the only one who assumed wrongly—your friend jumped to the conclusion that their road trip romance was just a fling—I’m starting to think that she wasn’t taking this relationship seriously either.’
I gasp and glare at Joshua—wait is he agreeing with Question?
‘how dare you accuse my friend of ignorance—it was your friend who cheated first.’
‘but what if both of them were unsure of the relationship—July could simply have tried to move on herself to find out what the hell was going on because everyone is scared of sudden attractions.’
I scowl thoughtfully having a flash back of the time I ran off from Josh because I felt exactly that way.
‘I do have a record of July sneaking out of her own room after a romantic night with Josh—it’s the same thing as Josh freaking out to the suddenness as well.’
Ludo and I speak at the same time.
‘what the hell Josh—that’s private.’
‘you sneaked out of your own room?’
‘that is not the point.’ I face Ludo.
‘I never told you that.’ Josh growls at Question
Question gives a shrug, ‘I investigated—we need to win this case.’
‘my point is,’ Question raises both palms to calm the table, ‘both of then hurt each other for the very same reason—and I’m sure both of them now know from this treacherous experience that they are really in love and that their love is rare and should be fought for—but that fight starts with reconciliation and honesty.’
At the end of Question’s speech I heard clapping. No I’m not kidding. People around had stopped what they were doing to watch us and they were happy with Question’s proposal.
‘well my friend needs time to work on all this mess.’ Ludo stares Question down, ‘she will make the call.’
All eyes turn to Question.
‘I thought you’d say that.’ He opens his binder, ‘so I prepared a proposal that the two will sign and agree on.’
‘a what?’
He pulls out a sheet of printed paper, ‘five honest dates.’
Ludo raises her eyebrows, my mouth drops open and Josh only nods I suppose it was his idea.
‘your friend gives my friend five first dates to convince her that he is serious, if he doesn’t manage to convince her then we will comply to the termination of this relationship.’
‘what exactly entails these five first dates.’
‘well this is a way to open up to each other, get to know each other better and following the rules--- no kissing, fondling or sex is to be engaged during these dates.’
‘for real.’
‘its in black and white.’
A moment of silence then Ludo says, ‘alright—if on the fifth date my friend’s feelings do not change you will not bother us anymore.’
‘its in black and white.’ Question repeats.
The crowd seem to like the proposal and even make bets—well the Debonairs workers actually because the five first dates are going to be here among witnesses.
As if that wasn’t dramatic enough, Ludo decided to hold an auction.
People actually bet on the issue.
‘excuse me.’ a young couple approaches Question and Ludo as they pack up their stuff, session over, ‘hi—are you two lawyers? I would love for you to help me with a divorce—my wife is trying to leave me,’ the young man explains.
‘I need him to understand the reason why we are no longer compatible.’ The woman says, ‘but he wont have it and I am tired of this.’ She tells Ludo.
I mean seriously.
***
I sneak out of the place, and surprisingly Josh is right behind me.
‘I will pick you up at six.’ He says falling into a step beside me.
‘seven, I knock off late tomorrow.’
‘half past six.’
I stop and face him, ‘fine—see you then.’
The first date is filled with tension. So much tension it could suffocate the entire restaurant. Its like we are on reality TV or something with all the workers ogling at us as if we are on Mzansi magic. We stay there until our pizza is done and we make our escape, laughing like two drunk idiots. We decide to eat our meal in the car and all the tension is gone. For the first time in hours we actually laugh our asses off about Ludo and Question’s court session last night.
‘so what else was in the binder.’
Josh stops laughing immediately, ‘the douche put all my past and present in there—there is no way you would give me a second chance if you see them.’
I let out a sigh, ‘well what could be worse than seeing you kissing a model in broad day light in public?’
‘I’m sorry about that, I’m such an idiot.’
I stop him, ‘Question was right—I ran off too, I suppose we can call it even?’
‘yeah?’
‘yeah—but only if you are honest with me, how you really feel about this—if you’re still on the freak out--.’
‘no I am not—I want to be honest with you July.’
‘okay?’
He takes my hand in his, ‘I was never a serious guy when I met you—I didn’t date or do relationship—not since my mother walked out on me. giving my heart scares me and I never—it was just sex—but then I met you and I couldn’t keep my shield on… when I said I loved you I meant it in the moment of realisation July, but I became a coward and almost ruined the best thing that has ever happened to me.’ his other hand comes to my face, ‘I am so sorry July for putting us through this and I love you—I really want this.’
‘I really want this too,’
He smiles, ‘I cant kiss you until date number five.’
I shake my head, ‘to hell with the rules.’ I say breathlessly and lurch for him. our kissing is hungry and breathless and lasts until we both decide to come up for air.
‘don’t tell the lawyers.’ I tell him.
He pulls me out of my seat and makes me sit on him, ‘I wont if you don’t.’
We kiss again.
Epilogue.
LUDO
I take a bite of my cheese burger before I fist bump with Question.
‘mission accomplished.’
I nod, ‘they did break the rule.’
‘that means you now owe me five hundred pula.’
‘that’s a lot of money to bet on love don’t you think?’
‘uh-uh Ludo, you don’t smart talk yourself out of this—pay up.’
‘I thought we were on the same side—saving our friends’ love—you cant make a poker game out of it.’
‘tick-tock Ludo.’
The man is serious. ‘I am not going to pay that kind of money, forget it.’
‘bribe is punishable by law—you of all people know that.’
‘I will kill you.’
‘a harder sentence for murder threats.’
I turn to look at him, ‘do you really need that money?’
‘you are the one who made the bet.’
‘for entertainment purposes.’
‘I had no idea.’
I let out a sigh, ‘can I write you an IOU.’
He considers it, ‘are you willing to comply to any request?’
‘I am not sleeping with you.’ I bite my tongue before I say ‘again’.
‘one dinner.’
I raise an eyebrow, ‘what difference does one dinner make?’
‘we have already done everything else but a formal date.’
I look away, ‘fine.’
A dinner wouldn’t hurt my bank account and maybe I can get Question out of my hair and other body parts in the process.
Coming up next in the riot series
WEDDING DAY RIOT