For the next two weeks, Jane was my mother, my nurse, my counsellor and my best friend rolled into one. She listened when I wanted to talk; she told me not to be too hard on myself; said I'd got over Jake and she was certain I'd get over Crispin, too.
At work, she protected me by acting as if nothing was wrong, so no one knew how I was feeling, and when we were alone, she selected some slushy rom-com DVDs to watch. Seeing other women who had fallen madly in love, then been disappointed before finally overcoming their disappointment, all in a humorous context, was an ideal therapy.
"There's a fair in town later this week, Wednesday to Saturday," Jane said as she fetched the local paper that had just been delivered. "Why don't we go? It'll do you good to get out the house, go on a few scary rides, have some fun."
My immediate reaction was to say no. It was after we'd been to a fair that I first slept with Jake. I wasn't sure I wanted to remember that day - or rather, I didn't want to be reminded of him. I tried to explain how I felt to Jane.
"All the more reason you should go. Lay some ghosts to rest. And it's years since I last went to a fair." She paused briefly before continuing: "We could have some candy-floss. I used to love that as a kid; that and toffee apples. My ex thought it was childish. Come on, Rusty, let's go Friday evening. When we get back we can share a bottle of wine."
"We can share a bottle of wine or two without going out," I protested, but Jane was determined I should get out into the big wide world again.
"I'm not suggesting you go out to find a replacement for Crispin," she insisted, "in fact, I'll make sure you don't. This will be a girly night out - men will be barred." I could find no objection that Jane didn't have an answer for. Finally, all objections rejected, I gave in and agreed.
Friday night was warm and there was little wind. The fair was in full swing when we arrived. "Dodgems first," Jane commanded after only a couple of minutes. "I'm driving." When the cars crawled to a halt, Jane jumped into a red car near the edge. "My Ferrari," she laughed, "or the nearest I'll ever get to a Ferrari." The man collected our money and we waited for the power to be applied.
We had made it to the centre of the floor without incident when we were rammed unceremoniously from behind. At the same time we heard a male voice shouting: "Bloody women drivers, get a move on," and then two men laughing.
"Right," Jane said quietly to me, "If they want a fight, that's what they'll get." I had always considered Jane to be a sensible, steady driver, so her assertion that she was going to fight worried me a little.
She put her foot down and wrenched the steering wheel to the left. The car shot away from the car behind. Jane steered our car until it was broadside to the other car and then rammed it into the side near the front. Their car was spun round, shock on the faces of the two men inside. Jane reversed a short way back before ramming their car again. "I used to be a stock-car racer," Jane laughed at them, "You'll have to get up early to catch me." I had never known she had been a stock car racer; that was something she had kept from me.
The driver of the other car twisted and turned his car to try and ram ours, but Jane was able to avoid them most of the time, while frequently being able to hit theirs. "Be careful what you say about women drivers in future," Jane smiled as the ride came to an end and we moved away from the ride.
"Were you really a stock car racer?" I asked in awe as we walked away."
"No," she laughed. "But as a youngster, I was able to avoid being hit. My reactions were quick and I was the one doing the shunting. But it put the fear of god into those two. Come, let's get a candy-floss."
We plucked handfuls of the sticky sweet and stuffed it into our mouths. I was already felling glad she had persuaded me to come. We stopped at a hoop-la stand and paid a pound each for three hoops. Neither of us could think why we had bothered - there was nothing we wanted to win. Maybe that contributed to our pathetic throws, none of which landed on any of the stuffed toys to be won.
"Oh shame," a sarcastic voice said as we looked for another stall to visit. We looked round and it was the two men from the dodgems. Had they been following us or was it a coincidence they were there when we were? We hadn't seen them, so we gave them the benefit of the doubt. We ignored them as we walked away.
A pirate ship, swinging in a giant arc until t was almost vertical was the next ride Jane insisted on. I was feeling a bit light-headed when the ride finished and was leaning on Jane. We almost bumped into the same two men as we had seen twice before. They were waiting to get on the ride.
We went on two quieter rides after that, just to let my body calm down, but Jane insisted we ended the evening with a ride on the scariest ride of all. As we waited in the queue, I was trying to persuade Jane to forget that ride and go home. Something made me look round. The two men we had encountered before were right behind us. It was soon obvious they had heard my concerns.
"If you're scared," the younger one looked at me, "I've a suggestion. Why don't we split up; you come with me and let your mum go with my brother. He's into cougars." I was expecting Jane to explode with anger at his comments, but instead she burst into laughter, "What's funny?" the younger one asked, annoyed by her response.
"You are; both of you boys". She stressed the word 'boys'. "You've been following us around like a pair of lap-dogs; you've insulted me by saying I was my friends mum and by suggesting I was a cougar. We are not interested in you, either of you." She turned her back on them. I risked a glance at them only to see that they had decided to leave the queue, probably to try their luck elsewhere.
"That was a bit hard, don't you think?" I asked Jane as we were loaded into our gondola.
"Not at all. We agreed that men would be barred tonight, didn't we? If I had been pleasant to them, they'd have tried their luck again."
"Thank you mummy for protecting me." I couldn't resist teasing her about their comment. She grinned as the ride began to move.
At first, it went slowly, almost horizontally, with the gondola spinning as if on freewheel. But it soon gained speed and gradually moved from horizontal to near vertical. Still the gondola spun round. I was regretting letting Jane persuade me. Slowly my insides began to stabilise and I felt better. But then the arm lowered and the ride slowed until we were horizontal again and we were released from the gondola.
"I almost enjoyed that in the end," I confessed to Jane. "Now can we go home? I need a bottle of wine to end the day. And, thanks for getting me to come out. I feel much better. Mummy," I added with a grin.