It was just before Christmas when Jane moved out. She had met someone a few months earlier and was moving in with him. They wanted to be together for Christmas. I remembered the day she told me about him. She was so excited.
“You’re never going to believe this,” she gushed to me one day when she returned fifteen minutes late from her lunch break. “I was trying on a pair of shoes at Dixon’s when this gorgeous man approached me. He asked me out this evening and I accepted. He’s already had a good close look at my chest and told me he liked what he saw. What do you think of that?” I laughingly told her she was a hussy if she’d been flashing her assets in public. “Oh, it wasn’t in public. We were in a cubicle. I told her she really was a hussy. “Do you remember when I was in hospital and I drooled over one of the doctors? Well I’ll be drooling a lot more from now on. He recognised me. He’s just finished a long stint of nights and has a couple of days off. He’s taking me to a Vietnamese restaurant. It’s just opened at the back of the museum and he’s heard it’s good.”
I’d seen a lot less of Jane since then and quite a lot of Simon. He was a regular at the house. I had to admit they were very well matched and very much in love. He was forty-five and divorced for several years. A doctor’s long hours had left his wife feeling lonely. She found someone else to provide the attention she lacked. Simon admitted it was his fault, mostly, but he was only a few months away from becoming a consultant. He’d have more free time and more money. He had four children, all girls, and they all lived with their mother just a few miles away. Jane liked them and they seemed to accept her.
I was going home to my parents for Christmas. Mum had long abandoned the suicide watch and admitted she was relieved it was over with Jake. Granny Wise would be there. She was ninety two and really showing her age. Mum had suggested this might be the last Christmas she’d be able to spend with us.
Granny Wise was someone who was exactly what it said on the box – a granny who was wise. If grannies were people who were unpaid baby-sitters, teachers of all that couldn’t be taught in school and people who indulged their grandchildren, then Granny Wise was beyond doubt, one of the best. When I was fourteen, my mum needed a major operation and wouldn’t be able to look after my sister and me. We went to stay with Granny Wise for the whole of the summer holidays. It was one of the best holidays I’d ever had. We did all the things we couldn’t do at home; wear makeup, play music loud and stay in bed until midday. But we also did exactly what she said when she thought we were getting out of control. She tried to teach us to cook. My sister was much better than I was, but at least she made me realise I could follow a recipe.
Granny Wise was also full of wisdom whenever we had problems we didn’t know the answers to. I was staying with her on a previous occasion when my periods started. I was frightened and ignorant. She explained everything to me. But she never offered advice unless she was asked. When my first boyfriend finished with me, it was Granny Wise who comforted me. Over time, it was to Granny Wise I turned to for most of the important decisions in my life. On reflection, perhaps I should have discussed all the important decisions.
Granny Wise started on the sherry early on, on Christmas Day, and by the time of the Queen’s Speech, which she would never miss, I saw her drunk for the first time in my life. She had cleverly requested each of us in turn, mum, dad and me, to get her a refill when no one else was present, so no one knew how much she was drinking. There was nothing outrageous that suggested she was drunk, but she began to talk a lot more than usual and was dispensing her homespun wisdom without being asked. And she would not be shushed. And for the first time, she was openly critical of me.
I cannot remember who made a reference to Jake, but it was the trigger for her to tell me off. She knew Jake wasn’t the person for me, but it was one of the few things about which I hadn’t asked her advice. I had mistaken sex for love. “Great sex doesn’t mean a great marriage,” she told me. I wasn’t alone in making that mistake, and she had kept her counsel about Jake. If she’d said anything, she might have alienated me for ever. Now she would make her opinions heard. And I’d made the same mistake again with Crispin. Would I never learn?
“Next time, forget about sex,” she went on. “Look at the man. See how he treats you when you refuse to go to bed with him. Love him first. Make sure he loves you; then you can work on being intimate. And maybe you will have to work at it. It’ll be worth it, believe me.” She paused for a second at most. “Your sister got it right. That man of hers may never ‘make the earth move’, as you young folk say. But he loves her, and will remain constant.”
And having made that speech, she demanded another sherry. Mum was embarrassed by Granny’s outburst. It wasn’t part of her nature to discuss matters sexual. “To be honest, I never liked that man living in my house,” Granny added as mum handed her the sherry. Granny drank half of it and promptly fell asleep.
It gave me time to reflect on what she’d said. I would have objected if she’d told me Jake was no good for me. And I’d have gone ahead with it anyway. . She may have been drunk, but what she’d said was still very wise. When I discovered what Jake and Neeta were doing, I should have gone to Granny Wise straight away. She would have talked sense to me. She would have calmed me down. She would have helped me overcome my depression. I might not even have been depressed if I'd spoken to her. And, despite everything, she would have made it clear I was still loved and loving. I realised the wisdom of what she was saying. I had placed too high a regard on the sex and disregarded the man. If this was to be Granny’s last Christmas with us, then I would treasure her advice.
When Granny woke up, an hour and a half later, she continued as if sleep hadn’t interrupted her lecture. “What you need, my dear,” she continued, “is to meet a decent man and settle down. Go out and meet people. Join a group and get to know someone before you jump into bed with him.” I was at a loss as to what type of group I could join. I told her I had started a cookery course but there were no suitable men on it. Granny had her ideas ready. “You used to love singing. Why not join a choir. They have a nice class of people in choirs.”
Having dispensed her wisdom, she requested another glass of sherry.