That year, she went to the Christmas party. Michael was meant to come with her but he said he had to stay late at work to package up the Christmas orders. She didn’t point out that the parcels wouldn’t leave until the first post on Monday. She didn’t want to start another fight. The studio was decorated with tinsel and a mirror ball hung from the middle of the ceiling. A DJ played dance music in between cabaret performances on the stage. Sophie wore a black dress, the strap from her camera running diagonally across her chest.
Beth arrived with a man who held her hand and looked at her as though he were afraid she would vanish if he looked away. ‘This is my boyfriend, Alex,’ she said. Sophie kissed him on both cheeks, theatrical fashion.
‘You’re constantly surprising me,’ Sophie said to Beth. ‘What other secrets are you hiding?’
‘Nothing,’ said Beth, and grinned. Alex lifted Beth’s hand to his lips and kissed it.
Young men with bare chests carried trays of tiny party pies and prawn balls amongst the guests. Sophie took a party pie and a serviette.
Bruce brought over two glasses of champagne. ‘For you,’ he said, handing the glass to Sophie. ‘I don’t think I’ve seen you at one of these before,’ he said.
‘No,’ said Sophie. ‘Even though I’ve been working here for four years, this is my first.’
‘What took you so long?’ he asked.
‘It’s complicated.’
‘You should be fine until midnight,’ he said. ‘And then it gets messy. Watch out for those mechanists — they’re a little wild.’
‘So I’ve heard,’ said Sophie.
‘Gotta go,’ said Bruce. ‘I’m on in five.’
When the lights came up on stage for the next performance, Bruce stood alone in a spotlight wearing a yellow lame gown and high heels. He had false eyelashes but his face was without makeup, his hair without a wig. He sang a flawless rendition of ‘Old Man River’ in a deep bass voice while someone in the shadows played a cello. It was strange and beautiful and brought tears to Sophie’s eyes. She had been wrong when she had said to Cristophe Velis that Bruce couldn’t sing. Entirely wrong. People were showing sides of themselves she never would have expected. Maybe she hadn’t been looking hard enough. She took the lens off her camera and took photos of Bruce’s curious alter-ego, starting with full body shots and then zooming in on his face. She captured the light in his eyes, the stubble on his cheeks. She captured a slice of time that might otherwise be forever lost.
She spent the evening taking photos of her work colleagues, the ones on stage and the ones around her. She listened more than she spoke and she looked with the eyes of a painter or a sculptor. At midnight, she heeded Bruce’s advice and caught a ferry to Milson’s Point.
It was a hot night and Sophie was reluctant to go home. She sat on a bench overlooking Lavender Bay, watched the cruise boats sail by and listened to the playful screams from Luna Park. She took a few photos, propping the camera on top of her bag to prevent it shaking during the long exposures. Her bag vibrated. Her phone was ringing.
‘I was hoping you were still up,’ said James.
‘I’m on my way home from the Christmas party,’ said Sophie. ‘Isn’t it a little early for you to be out of bed?’
‘Who says I’m out of bed?’ he said. Sophie laughed, even though she wanted to be angry with him.
‘I’ve got good news,’ he said.
‘Yes, I’ve heard.’
‘Wow, Sydney must be a small town. I only found out myself yesterday.’
‘Sorry?’
‘I’ve got a gig with the Sydney Festival in January. I fly in to Sydney on New Year’s Eve.’
Sophie paused as she adjusted to his news. Her first thought was that he wasn’t giving her enough time to lose weight before he arrived. She had been a size smaller when he last saw her. She realised she was being ridiculous. She was still the same person, if anything, a little more relaxed and compassionate.
‘Are you bringing your fiance with you?’ Her question didn’t sound angry. The feeling had slipped out of her grasp.
‘No, I’m not.’
Sophie didn’t feel like hiding what she felt. It was time to speak openly and honestly, and James was the perfect place to start.
‘I didn’t know you were with someone until last week when Kim Chen mentioned you were getting married next year.’
‘It wasn’t a secret. Linda and I have been together for six years.’
‘Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘It didn’t think it mattered. You and me, we’re just friends, right?’
‘Always,’ said Sophie. ‘But I felt you might have wanted more if I had been willing.’
‘Who knows, my darling. We can’t live a life of what ifs.’
Sophie leaned back on the bench and looked at the stars. ‘It will be good to see you again,’ she said.
‘So you’ve forgiven me?’
‘Only if you invite me to the wedding.’
‘Not likely,’ said James. ‘We’ve already 270 on the guest list and the room only holds 250. I can’t fit you in.’
‘Can you fit me in while you’re in Sydney?’
‘Damn straight I can. Less than two weeks, Soph. I’ll see you soon.’
‘Merry Christmas, James. Maybe I’ll see you on New Years’ Eve.’
‘Count on it. I wouldn’t want to start the New Year with anyone else.’
Sophie stared at the phone long after James had gone. Luna Park grew quiet and the lights blinked off. She slung her camera over her shoulder, took off her shoes and walked barefoot up the hill.
… TO BE CONTINUED