In those first few months of living with Guy in Australia, I learnt a number of things. First, I missed my friends and family very much and nothing Guy could ever do would change that. Second, I learnt very quickly that there wasn’t one teeny tiny little thing I liked about his sisters. Third, Australia was very different from the UK.
Although I had travelled in Australia before, I hadn’t really had much contact with Australian people. That sounds strange, but anyone who has been backpacking will probably agree with me when I say you only tend to meet other backpackers and, therefore, the majority of the people I met while backpacking were from the UK or Europe. Living with Guy opened up a whole new world to me. I remember when I first left for Australia when I was nineteen, my (very posh) aunty told me, in a very concerned voice, that Australia was: one, a very ‘coarse’ country, and two (she said this next bit in a hushed tone, like it was something she would rather other people didn’t hear) ‘they do not serve their tea in a pot.’ Well she was right on both counts. Australia was ‘coarse’ and they did not always serve their tea in a pot, but what she left out was that it was an amazing, fun, beautiful country, full of people that were not always as polite as British people but were very friendly and loving all the same. This was, of course, as soon as you got away from my soon to be in-laws.
A bit like if Ben did it, I know that if Guy told this story, it would go very differently and would contain the words ‘crazy,’ ‘mental’ and ‘cat lady,’ as well as ‘bitch,’ ‘ungrateful’ and ‘moody.’ I’m not saying I was perfect during our relationship, because I wasn’t, not at all. But I tried. I really did try. Living so far away from my family and friends, along with the constant criticism from Guy’s family, was extremely upsetting for me. I would literally break down at least once a week, pack my bags up and say I was going home. Of course, I never would have left him; I loved him. I wanted a family with him. From his point of view, I can see now that he was in a tremendously hard position. He constantly said, ‘You are never happy,’ and so, I guess, after a while he stopped trying.
The biggest problem, apart from his sisters, was of course, the loneliness. Guy would work from 7am until 10pm (or later) most days, so I was alone most of the time. That was in complete contrast to my time backpacking in Asia and Australia, when I would often share a room with five or six people at a time and so was never alone. I obviously tried to just see it as a new experience to add to my ever growing list, but at times it was beyond difficult. Once in a while, I would ask him to come home early, beg for us to do things together, but I rarely got my wish. Even on weekends, we had completely separate lives and he would quite often just go to work all day. I actually hated the weekends the most because if he wasn’t at work, that was the time he wanted to spend with his family and so I was dragged along to many a breakfast, lunch or dinner, where no one would speak to me and it was made very clear they didn’t want me there. Occasionally, I would make up excuses not to go, but most of the time I went because I wanted to make Guy happy.
What I really needed was company, of course, and after a year of begging to get a cat, Guy finally agreed, and it was the single best thing that ever happened during our relationship. It changed everything. All of a sudden, I wasn’t lonely any more. I had constant company. I was happy for Guy to work until 10pm, because I was at home with Coco. That obviously wasn’t great for our relationship. Although I was much happier, our relationship deteriorated very quickly.
We ended up getting Coco from a lady who rescued cats from death row at one of the pounds in Sydney. Coco had been picked up by a ranger and taken to the pound, along with her three kittens. By the time Guy and I went to see Coco, all her kittens had been adopted to new homes, and Coco was the only one left. As soon as I saw her, I loved her. She was black all over, with four little white paws that were just adorable and a white strip on her nose. Considering she had already had kittens she was actually quite small and obviously young herself. To add to it she was fluffier than the average domestic short hair cat making her appear even cuter, like a little ball of fluff. She was such a scared little thing though, and when Karan the cat lady handed her to me to hold, she was shaking like a leaf. It was love at first sight for me. Although Guy sat there as grumpy as hell, I hoped he would fall in love with her eventually. As I loaded her in the car that day, I told her I was rescuing her, but looking back I now know she was the one that recused me.
Karan the cat lady was absolutely lovely and gave me her email address and some links to a number of websites and forums which had information on settling in new cats. About a month later, I went onto one of the forums Karan had suggested to me to have a look at information about cats who bury their food, as Coco seemed to do that after every meal time. On the forum, Karan was obviously a cat expert giving out lots of advice to a number of different people. I decide to scroll down and check out some of the posts hoping to see some pictures of Coco and her kittens when they were first picked up. When I got to the day that Guy and I had adopted Coco, Karan had written, ‘I’m so excited that Coco just found her forever home with the nicest girl you could ever wish to meet. Coco will be well looked after.’ My heart melted as I read the statement and my inner crazy cat lady did a very excited dance. Finally, someone who thought I’d be good at something! One thing I did wonder at the time, though, was why she didn’t mention Guy. Surely, it should have been ‘the nicest couple I have ever met.’ Three years later, I totally understood why.
‘Sometimes the smallest things take up the most room in your heart.’ — Winnie the Pooh.