For the first six months that I knew Ben, it was all very casual—probably too casual—and that got me into a bit of trouble one night. It was a Monday, and Elly had a friend from the UK visiting her. Obviously, I didn’t want to miss out on all the tourist fun and so I phoned in sick to work and we headed to the city on the ferry. Even after years of living in Australia, my skin still goes all goose pimply when I see the Opera House and Harbour Bridge, and I know it gave her the same reaction. After cocktails and lunch in Circular Quay, we sat in the park for what felt like hours, chatting about the UK, Australia and our love lives. We were just heading to the Horizon Bar (where Guy had taken me that first night), when my phone rang. It was Ben, and he wanted to party. Being a little bit tipsy, we obviously all jumped at the chance, so after we’d had a few drinks at Horizon Bar, Ben sent his driver to come and collect us.
That was the first time Elly would meet Ben and his friends. Obviously she and her friend were extremely excited when a black four-wheel-drive Mercedes, with blacked out windows, picked us up and took us to the house with the swimming pool I had visited a few weeks earlier. I’m sure Elly’s friend thought that was just ‘how we rolled’ in Sydney, but it wasn’t at all, and I was as excited and impressed as she was.
When we arrived, two of Ben’s friends and Jack were at the house, ready to party, but Ben was nowhere to be seen. Apparently, he had been held up at work. We obviously continued our all day drink-a-thon and Elly seemed to be hitting it off very well with one of the other men called Daniel. After a while, one of Ben’s friends started trying it on with me, a lot. Now Ben was always very laid back about that sort of thing, and I think he truly quite liked it when I flirted with his friends. So when Ben finally did arrive, it didn’t worry me too much that I was in a very uneasy predicament with his friend. Obviously, I wasn’t doing anything sinister; it just looked like we were.
It had started off with all five of us in the swimming pool, drinking and laughing. No one had any swimwear, so we were all in our underwear. Elly was cuddling up to Daniel and it wasn’t long before they disappeared into the house. I was getting cold, so I decided to get out of the pool and get another drink. However, one of Ben’s friends decided to follow me. Then, it all happened at once: I slipped on the wet ground and half stumbled, half fell into the man’s arms beside me. I swear he was just waiting there to catch me. Obviously completely embarrassed I tried hard to correct myself, but being somewhat clumsy, and obviously a little drunk, I manage to slip again and fall even closer into the only too willing man’s body. Ben reckoned we were kissing; we weren’t, of course, it just looked like we were. We were obviously still both in our underwear and absolutely soaked, so it did look suspicious. His friend didn’t help the situation by immediately dropping me on the floor when he saw Ben, which to be perfectly honest probably hurt way more than me initially falling would have, and shouting hysterically, ‘We weren’t doing anything! We weren’t doing anything!’ obviously absolutely terrified of Ben.
Although his friend obviously did, I didn’t expect Ben to get jealous. At the time, he really had no reason to care about what I was or was not up to, and he didn’t, not one bit. Astonishingly he told his friend to take me upstairs and told me I should have sex with him because he would treat me well. He actually insisted on it and was deadly serious, stating, ‘You are his now,’ like I was some sort of toy to give away to his friends when he was finished. Totally unlike me, and completely intoxicated, I did as I was told and went upstairs with his friend. As I walked past bedroom one I saw Elly having very heated sex with Daniel, but in bedroom two I randomly had sex with Ben’s friend who I had only met one hour previously.
To this day, I still can’t believe I did it, but my only excuses were: one, that I was drunk and two, that those men lived in a completely different world than other people, including myself, and I desperately wanted to stay a part of it for longer. Ben then spent the rest of the night chatting up Elly’s English friend. I guess at the time there were no feelings there whatsoever, and I knew that as long as we stayed friends, I could stay in this crazy f**ked up world and at the time that was all I wanted.
I think Elly also woke up the next morning regretting her decision and although Daniel pined after her for weeks, she wasn’t interested in having a serious boyfriend at the time and so never took things any further. We were having way too much fun for that! ‘We all do stupid things!’ — Me.