A month after Canberra, Elly and I flew to Las Vegas for six days. The trip was completely Elly’s idea, as she had always dreamed of a girls’ holiday in Las Vegas. At the airport in Sydney, I updated my Facebook status to ‘Vegas bound, baby,’ and within five minutes, my phone beeped with a message from Jake, the lovely American man I had had a very short relationship with in Cairns twelve years previously. He said he wanted to fly out to Las Vegas for one night and show me and Elly around. Now, obviously, this was a girls’ trip, so I consulted her first, but she happily agreed as long as he agreed to buy the drinks! So, I texted him back with the good news, informing him he may come but for one night only as it was a girls’ trip.
When we boarded the plane, I was excited, but probably not as excited as Elly, as she had always wanted to go to Vegas. I was just tagging along for the ride, really.
However, as soon as I got there, I absolutely loved Las Vegas and probably loved it more than Elly did, to be honest. We spent our days sunbathing, drinking and eating and our nights dancing and gambling. It was truly a holiday of a lifetime, and I really felt at home there, like it suited the new confident me to be there. On our third night, Jake flew in to greet us. After twelve years, I really did not know what to expect.
I had been only nineteen years old when I had first met him, but even twelve years on, I recognised him straight away. Elly and I had been drinking all afternoon and were tipsy but if I hadn’t been tipsy and been with Elly, I imagine I would have been nervous as hell. We had arranged to meet Jake at the hotel lobby bar, and as soon as he walked in, I could feel that he still found me attractive. He was wearing jeans with a low-key white striped shirt, and although he was a lot less ‘flashy’ than Ben, he was just as attractive. He had dark hair and rare grey eyes that I instantly remembered.
As he had been to Las Vegas before, many times, he offered to show us around, and obviously we jumped at the chance. The first bar he took us to had a view that was beyond beautiful, and it reminded me a little of the Horizon bar in Sydney. I don’t really remember much about that night apart from that first bar and some gambling we did after that, but what I do know is that I had an amazing time. Apparently, we went to four different casinos, three different nightclubs and numerous bars in between. I even got proposed to by a complete stranger at the craps table!
Apparently, we got back to the hotel at 5am, and I woke up at 10am in all my clothes in Jake’s room. I remember waking up, not regretting one thing, but just being so damn happy that I was enjoying myself that much. As I rolled over, particularly pleased with myself for ‘living the Vegas lifestyle,’ Jake started talking, and immediately I remembered why I didn’t take things further all those years ago; I found him annoying.
That scared me a lot at that point, as I found him very similar in annoyingness and personality to Guy. I had a very sinking feeling in my stomach that it might not end well, but as I had done with Guy, I just ignored my gut and we joined Elly for breakfast.
At breakfast, Elly was dying to hear all the details, and her persistent questioning did not go unnoticed by Jake. Half joking, half trying to wind me up, Elly suggested he stay another night, and although I was not keen on that idea at all—after all, it was supposed to be a girls’ holiday—I politely agreed, because I am British.
When Jake went off to reception to see if there were any rooms available for the night, after I played dumb to his insinuations that he could sleep in my room, I filled Elly in on what gossip there was. She asked me why I didn’t let him just stay in my room, and I tried to explain that I found him annoying, but she of course didn’t see it. I guess because she wasn’t comparing him to Guy. When he came back and announced the hotel was fully booked for the night, I was relieved, to say the least. After all, the last thing I wanted was another relationship with someone who was a copycat of Guy. I really did not want to go back to the life I had before, I didn’t want to lose who I had become. Then, Elly, who was completely oblivious, stated the obvious that Jake had been hinting at all through breakfast and that I had avoided because I knew I would be too polite to say no; ‘Why don’t you just stay in her room?’
The next thing I knew, breakfast was over and Jake was moving his suitcase into my room. The situation was all too similar to how I got together with Guy. I swear if it wasn’t for the British being so damn polite I would never have had a boyfriend past the age of twenty-five; and to be honest, maybe that would have been a good thing!
That night in Las Vegas, we went for dinner, did some more gambling, and again I loved every minute. There was just something about Vegas that I adored. I felt truly at home there and completely free to be myself. I was, however, relieved when Jake left the next day, as thankfully he had to go back to work. Now, don’t get me wrong. I really did like the man; he was sweet and kind and caring—basically everything a girl could wish for, as Elly constantly reminded me. There were only two problems; one, he reminded me so much of Guy I could not get it out of my head. They had the same hobbies, did the same thing for living and they both owned their own companies. Number two, I found him annoying. I was pretty sure the two problems were related, but I wasn’t sure of a way to figure out whether I was correct. The next two nights in Vegas were a complete blur but I loved every single second.‘Change can be scary, but you know what’s scarier? Allowing fear to stop you from growing, evolving and progressing.’ — Unknown.