He stops in the middle of the staircase, all eyes in the room are fixed upon him.
‘I invited you all my fellow friends.’ He raises his glass and so do everyone for a toast to friendship, ‘for an announcement I couldn’t wait to make.’
Then his eyes fall on me and Taylor, he beams—a rare happy pleased Mr. Abiwu smile, ‘today is one of the greatest days for our clan. Today we have stepped up to another level of power and high seats that ordinary men don’t even dare dream to be.’ Pause, ‘man-man is ours people.’
And the crowd happily claps.
That man-man again. Whatever it is, must be something really big. My heart begins to thud as just a million theories flash in my mind. I mean look at all these people. In all honesty they are not a decent crowd. But they are many enough to cause worry about the number of influential people out there who support evil psychopaths like Mr. Abiwu.
‘So tonight I have invited you all to celebrate this new era. So without going into farther details of what you all already know, please have a good time. Enjoy the drinks and chatter.’
Why do I desperately want him to add a ‘while it lasts’ caption at the end of his statement?
So anyway the party goes on after a handful of people come up to us with pleasant smiles and so grateful to meet us you’d think we saved the planet. I wouldn’t have had any part in saving anything—I am the kind of person who just want to buy an island and live in it away from the rest of the human population.
And why in the name of all things created to keep my sanity intact do we have to stand here with Mr. Abiwu and the four great uncles like we were on display or something?
So I do the only thing I can to get out of this. And believe me I am now so desperate to get away from here such that I take Taylor’s hand in a loving gentle grip and mutter, ‘I need to sit down I feel nauseous.’
Taylor pets my hand, either ignoring my jibe or buying into it. Well I wouldn’t know I just want to get the hell out of here before I go up in flames. All those pairs of eyes are kind of fiery. And did I mention that every last one of them is possibly a legendary criminal?
I mean it can’t be healthy to have my bare face plastered on all those people’s faces.
Taylor whispers something to Mr. Abiwu who nods with a gentle smile before Taylor, to my happiness whisks me away from the stifling room to the cool less crowded balcony.
He sits me down on one of those chairs and crouches such that we are eye levelled. I am thinking that he is still buying my story so I take good deep breaths and place my hand on my chest for a good measure.
‘Hey better?’
I just nod.
‘We can sit here for a while.’
‘I am not going back in there.’ I say with finality. I mean standing on the stairs is bad enough as you are in full view even for the random person who just wants to mind their own business, but being part of the Abiwu faux happy family picture is just—excruciating.
‘Okay—we can stay here until it’s over.’ He smiles gently at me before his face darkens to a wretched expression, ‘oh my god Heather I--.’
‘Stop.’ I whisper matching his wretched tone, Taylor has made me feel a lot of different things since I met him but this was so much worse, ‘you possibly can’t say anything that would make all this sensible.’
‘I know,’ he admits,
I take a deep breath, ‘did you know they kidnapped me here?’ I shake my head, ‘no—if I hadn’t ended up here because Julian has a loyalty complex towards your father you wouldn’t have come to me at all would you?’
I hold my breath.
‘Heather I want you to be safe—I am not going to just stay put and watch you get hurt.’
Yes, I already heard that before and turned it over and over the last four months.
‘So what has changed? Why am I here Taylor?’
Because Mr. Abiwu’s reasons can’t be trusted.
Instead of answering me he strokes fingers on my face so lovingly I almost forget why I am mad at him. Almost.
‘Taylor!’
‘This was not the picture I had for our lives.’ Is all he says?
‘Well that makes two of us—why can’t you just tell me? What has you so tied down and up such that you couldn’t even call me, we are married for heaven’s sake or at least I thought we were.’
‘I messed up okay.’ He retorts, ‘and I keep on messing up.’ He gets on his feet and starts running a hand through his hair.
Meanwhile I silently chant—get your mind off the hair Heather. You can’t want to touch him you are an angry woman.
‘It was a hard choice for me to make.’ He turns to face me, his expression dark and grim, ‘but whatever I decide I am choosing you—I am choosing us,’
‘How is any of this choosing us?’ I wave around the property because it does make a proper presentation of what is destroying our lives- his father and his life choices, ‘I didn’t have a fairy tale in mind Taylor and I knew what we were going into was bound to have a set of challenges—but I guess the only delusional part of my whole equation was that I believed we’d always be together to get through it.’
He doesn’t say anything though I know that my words are crashing he has to say something in return. But knowing Taylor he probably just decides to seal his mouth before he says something he doesn’t want me to find out. Oh yes, that’s another issue. The secrets. It’s not like I am interested in knowing whether he has ever pointed a deadly weapon on someone’s head before or turned judge on another person deciding whether they live or die…
My brain companions raise their eyebrows at me. Okay—ignoring the possibility of that is quite disturbing. In fact having these thoughts is disturbing. I give my head a little shake and look down at my hands with a finality sigh that Taylor manages to interpret well.
‘Don’t think about leaving me,’ he says with a quiet but resolute voice, ‘I promise to make all this right, I just need you to trust me.’
I look at him and I wish I hadn’t because the words on my lips falter a little with the intensity of his gaze but I quickly get back to the surface, ‘I don’t have any reason to trust you—I have no reason to not turn and run for the hills from you.’
‘I know.’
‘Then don’t ask me to—either you let me see what you are talking about now or--.’
‘Don’t say it.’ He lets out a harsh breath, ‘I don’t need to hear you say that,’
You know back then when I had the most blasphemous views about marriage? I always figured at some point the couple would be asking themselves what they have gotten themselves into five or seven years down the line (yes I had landmarks as well)—well I’m asking myself that very question now. What on earth have I gotten myself into?
‘You can’t keep me here against my will.’ I say against my better judgment. Besides I have been kept against my will on many occasions anyway, my sense reminds me.
He nods, doing his not responding in order to not spill his secret technique, the annoying little—
‘We will talk about this when the time comes.’
And I gape at him, getting the point. I take a deep breath, ‘fine—do whatever you want, when this—whatever it is over, I want you to let me go. Maybe then…’ (If that day ever comes), ‘we can talk more reasonably and away from all this mess.’
I don’t know his feelings about it because he just looks at me impassively and dare I say that is more unnerving when he pronounced that he planned to keep me a prisoner here or wherever?
Julian then chooses that moment to easily saunter in the balcony breaking our tense moment and I blink rapidly to still my thundering heart.
***
I stare back at the man. He means it, not that he’s ever been the one to pop jokes. I mean, when Julian showed up like a good minion that he is and demanded we meet Mr. Abiwu at once. Not just Taylor—because I would have gladly stayed behind—but me as well. Well I just wasn’t expecting this. Maybe when I was behind the door I thought it’s an office and Mr. Abiwu would be sitting behind a large desk with his leg crossed onto of the other and sparkling plotting eyes. And Julian would just usher us in like a good assistant and walk out leaving us to the wolf.
Imagine my shock when I entered a completely empty what would have been a decent office space. There was nothing but the carpeting and black curtains. I mean black curtains are weird naturally but they have never been more fitting for the scene that I meet inside.
I hadn’t noticed until now that the uncles are all wearing dark suits. Even Taylor. They are standing two at either side of what I suppose is the aisle they created for Taylor to walk on his way to his father Mr. Abiwu who is standing at the head of the uncle sentinels also in a dark suit I just noticed. His hands are clasped in front of him and a blithe smile lights his face as Taylor starts towards him.
I have no idea at what point did I let go of his hand but I am standing back here watching the whole thing like I am in a trance and they can’t see me. I mean seriously. Where the hell is the rest of the furniture? And what the hell is this. A chill runs down my spine as all assumptions come flooding in.
‘Taylor, my son has rightfully taken his position in the family.’ Mr. Abiwu smiles proudly and I am afraid to see the expression on Taylor’s face, ‘he is the sole successor of this clan, you are all now under him as his protectors and servants,’
The four great uncles bow their heads. I feel like the spacious room we are in is closing in on me. I am close to the door, I can just dash out and make a run for it. This is more than I can take. Taylor is standing beside his father. I finally look at him. Everything on his expression shows that he agrees with the declaration and has no problem being there at all. What happened to the man who used to do everything in his power not to be a part of this?
Taylor raises his eyes and they meet mine. Our eyes lock in silent dialogue. Me questioning, him more or less like saying this is what it is and we just have to roll with it. A cold shiver races through me and I visibly shake from it. I step away from the little circle of the great uncles with bowed heads my heart pounding.
They have no guns, they have not threatened me and they didn’t kill anyone. But I have never been so afraid of these people like I am right now. This is a private ceremony. Taylor is swearing into the family business—and I just want to vanish.
Then Taylor stretches his hand towards me. Opens his palm and waits. My heart pounds faster. No freaking way. He wants me to walk into that circle and accept all this? He must be insane. Did our little talk out there not ring in his head? I don’t want to be a part of this—I don’t want anything to do with all of this. As much as I love and am crazy about Taylor I can’t do this anymore. I had said that, more or less in words and actions, so why in the name of all that’s holy is he stretching his hand towards me now?
Somehow I know that the moment I decide to run out that door it would turn ugly. Mr. Abiwu doesn’t even spare a glance at me. He also knows. I have to maintain my stand and walk away. I will not be walking into something I don’t believe in.
But because I am a coward I start towards him. I lower my eyes. If I continue to look at him the angry tears in my eyes will spill. How could he drag me into all this? I feel a little dizzy when I enter the circle of the great uncles, their heads still bowed. And I place my hand into Taylor’s. He pulls me close to him and takes my other hand like this is a freaking wedding ceremony.
‘Look at me!’ he demands.
I slowly lift my face to look up at him. Pushing all my anger and distaste for all this to the surface. He ignores it, not that I know for sure—the man has been a stranger sort of lately since the day he walked out on me. Those dark eyes, they are the same but they are not. The Taylor I knew before is there but he is not. He dips his head and kisses me hard. In front of the bowing uncles and Mr. Abiwu. There is the usual warm feeling and the spark –of course- but there is also the part of me that feel dirtied by this whole ordeal. I don’t claim to be righteous but I am not fond of dancing along with the wicked either. There are no neutral zones in life—yes, but sometimes a gray space is all some people need to be.
He finally lets go of me, and still in a daze I turn to face forward where Mr. Abiwu has taken the leading stand. A small victorious smile is on his lips as he watches us.
‘As Heather is dedicated to the work of her husband you are now all dedicated to serve and protect her as well.’ His gaze pins me in place as he says, ‘remember that.’
The uncles finally raise their heads and they look at us with smiles on their faces. I just want someone to pop up and tell me that I am dreaming. I must be dreaming. At least the meeting is finally over and they all file out of the room. Leaving Taylor and I alone behind.
I don’t know what the little smile on Mr. Abiwu’s face is all about but it’s provoking. It reminds me of a toddler sticking a tongue at their sibling in a dare. The door finally closes and I still remain standing there staring at the same place Mr. Abiwu had been standing all along.
After a moment of complete silence I finally take a deep breath and turn to look at him.
‘So you finally came to a decision.’ I say nonchalantly,
‘I know you don’t have liberating feelings regarding my choices but you will not say it like that.’
‘I will say it however I want when I am being dragged into something I don’t want to be a part of.’
‘You could have left.’ He nods at the door and don’t I recall that crazy moment when the very good idea had crossed my mind, ‘you had a choice.’
‘I still do.’
I hope so.
He squeezes my hand which I hadn’t realised that he was still holding, ‘you chose this moment, to me it means we are going to work things out and you are going to forgive me and we can start from there.’
I pull my hand from his, ‘forgive you?’ I pause gauging the word, ‘maybe because as of now it seems that will be the only virtue I have left.’
‘Heather-.’
I raise my palm at him, ‘don’t call me lovingly by name Taylor—you just don’t leave and make all decisions by yourself then show up here and expect me to blend into your new song like I spend my life waiting around for you.’
Okay maybe I have been waiting around a little but right now I will go to my grave twice before admitting that.
‘The last thing I want to do is hurt you Heather, you mean the world to me.’ he closes his eyes. ‘That hasn’t changed.’
‘Flattering.’ I place a hand on my chest, ‘really. But I don’t want to believe you, no I just can’t believe you Taylor, not after this.’
‘I know.’
‘Then why did you stretch you hand to me?’
He squeezes his eyes before opening them, ‘I didn’t want this, you know that.’
I narrow my eyes at him, I spend an enormous amount of time holding on to that declaration—he doesn’t want this. He is rebelling against it. How could I have been so blind and superficial about that fact?
‘No I don’t,’ I whisper, ‘I don’t know whether you never wanted this Taylor.’
‘Then what do you think?’ he manages to look hurt.
I raise my chin and lock my gaze with his, ‘you want me to believe you have accepted the family curse for us and our child? Fine—but I would appreciate it if you stop lying to yourself—and to me.’
Seconds tick by and he doesn’t say anything or look like he is going to say anything. In that moment of silence where heavy words and untold secrets are hanging heavily in the air, the baby kicks. I gasp, my hand automatically going to my tummy.
The spell broken, Taylor gently holds my upper arms looking concerned, ‘what’s wrong?’
I chuckle, tears of awe welling in my eyes as I look at him, ‘she kicked,’
The little one maybe has a say in this too. I hope she takes mommy’s side, the mother in me says wistfully. Well I hope she already hates the grandfather, that wild mind and emotion.
Mesmerized, Taylor places his hand on my stomach and the baby kicks again making me gasp and chuckle. Taylor’s face flushes in awe as he places another hand right there. Somehow coating my heart with warm feelings. This is one of the things I wanted. To see his delighted expression for the life that is in me. My parents didn’t care much about my existence, I don’t want the same for my child. Even if she has to make do with just me.
With a sweet smile and teary eyes his raises his gaze to meet mine and damn it if I am not tempted to forget everything and crash him into my arms and welcome him home. He raises his hand to my face and a warm feeling envelops me the moment his hand comes into contact with my skin. His fingers graze the contours of my face and all I can say is that I have yet to learn not to get lost in those dark eyes.
Penetrating dark eyes that seem to have reached my very soul and erased all reason thus I am here right now.
‘There has never been a moment I didn’t think about coming home to you Heather. I just didn’t do it very well.’
And then I see his wedding band on his finger. I suppose the day he left I had imagined him yanking the thing off and doing a happy dance. Okay maybe not quite like that.
‘I never took it off.’
Its touching and nudging at parts of me I don’t want to open yet so I force out a scoff, ‘that’s why you were all smug about it.’
‘I am not letting you go. I promised you that.’
I lower my eyes before I act on wanting to kiss him. What the hell is wrong with me? I am an angry woman, I’m not supposed to be having all the fussy good feelings to be close to him and to fantasize kissing him. I should be making a plan to get the hell out of here not wanting to be more entangled into his crazy world.
‘Julian.’ I call, somehow I know he was at the door.
Taylor’s hand on my face tenses and falls off. I raise my eyes to meet a neutral expression the same moment the door opens. I turn to see Julian practically waltzing in with both his hands sunk into his pockets. The bastard.
‘Julian at your service!’ he smirks, at Taylor mostly.
‘We are done here,’ I say without looking at Taylor and I turn away from him.
Julian is still looking at Taylor, I step from between them and they seem to be sharing a silent dialogue to which Julian nods in agreement/ understanding before his eyes comes back on me.
‘What was that all about?’ I ask looking at Taylor.
‘Don’t you think moving out of our room is a bit dramatic?’ Taylor says. Testing the waters.
‘How is it our room? You didn’t even plan I’d be here and I really need my distance from you.’
‘As you wish,’ he says nonchalantly and I turn to Julian.
‘Let’s go.’ I say before marching out of the room. Or should I say ritual room or crowning room since that’s where Mr. Abiwu had been in full coronation mode minutes ago shuttering the last fragments of my normal existence. He should just have a heart attack.
‘So what happened?’ Julian steps beside me keeping with my angry strides, ‘you didn’t take his head off.’
I give him a sideways glance, ‘I didn’t think Mr. Abiwu would appreciate losing his son immediately after crowning him.’
Julian chuckles, ‘that’s a noble thought.’
I stop and turn to him, ‘just because I am crazy enough to believe that you are the only one who isn’t going to murder me in this house full of lunatic tyrants doesn’t mean I trust you or think you any different.’
His mouth curls downwards as he nods, ‘that basically means you trust me though I am willing to go with your definition.’
‘Good, just didn’t want you to get any ideas.’
He narrows his eyes at me, ‘people do change Heather—and you are not the girl who easy drops people in the mud just because of one mistake.’
‘Mistake?’ I raise an eyebrow at him, ‘I don’t even want to go into that—you are the kind of person who pats me on the back while holding a dagger behind my back.’
And with that I turn on my heel and start for my room.