CHAPTER 20
"I miss the ocean," I utter my inner thoughts, lost in my own trance as the afternoon stretches its wings under the blue sky.
I miss home.
"It can't be a perfect summer without some salty water, right?" Malik slides his mobile on the table and graces me his full attention.
"Exactly.” Smiling, I glance up at him. "I mean, Montana is really nice, but I still miss L.A. I want to get tanned at the beach, hearing the sound of the waves, the swimming . . . I miss that.” Nostalgia blankets me.
A long silence takes a reign, Malik's now-calm eyes pitching me some kind of avuncular concern. Did I say something unfitting? I feel like an incorrigible kid on the wait for the parental judgment. I hold my cooled drink once again.
And suddenly Malik's face lights up and forms his infamous grin that never leaves anyone indifferent. He seems decided. What is he up to, though? My subconscious raises awake.
"How about we go to Miami?" he asks lively, his gaze expectant.
"Miami?" I almost choke on the sangria, stunned.
"Yes . . . Miami." He playfully wriggles his dark eyebrows, sounding serious nonetheless. I blink twice in daze. "Don't you want the perfect summer with the beach?" he insists, and I just stare at him wide-eyed.
It's so hard to fathom when he's serious and when he isn't. Does he mean it or he's just pulling my leg? I pout at the thought.
"You're kidding, right?" My voice is grouchy.
"Come on, just say yes already," Malik exhorts. God, he's not kidding! "I'm being serious, Professor. Do you want to go to Miami?" he repeats, looking hopeful.
"Okay." I shrug after a thought, and it seems like a plan. Oh boy! "So, why aren't you staying in the palace? Aren't princes supposed to be in the kingdom?" I alter the course of our conversation.
Malik scowls. He takes out a cigarette from his jacket and slowly lights it up with the golden lighter that could've paid for my monthly bills.
Did I touch the sore spot? And . . . he smokes? I'm a bit surprised.
He takes a puff of cigarette, his gaze indescribable, and then says, "Because I like being free, just as I am." He halts to blow some smoke to the side. I remain attentive as he adds, "My brother is the crown prince, and so only he is obligated to stay in the palace."
I clasp my lips together like a toddler in front of a story book. "And when did you leave the palace?"
He frowns a bit in recollection, his look subdued for the reasons only he knows. "When I was fifteen, I guess." He glances at me softly.
"Wow, that long? But why? I think you were too young. I mean, if you're willing to talk, that is." I don’t want to pressure him.
Malik leans back in his seat and blows the smoke again. I try to chill despite my feud with cigar and the horrible smoke. "I had an accident by the time," he replies coolly, full of hidden emotions of similar scent with pain.
My heart tightens. Does he have a painful story? I wonder. Well, in reality who doesn't? That horrendous voice answers inside me. What a know it all? I scowl mentally.
"I had to move to Houston for the rehab," Malik proceeds calmly, revisiting his memories, it seems.
"I'm very sorry." I suddenly regret asking of his private afflict. More than anyone else, I understand how tough it can get when talking of some deadly memories that you'd rather forget.
"I used to do illegal motorbike racing back then. Of course behind my father's back," Malik goes on, which makes my eyes glow in more stun.
But I'm not surprised at all that he was once a troublemaker.
"So, one day I pulled a dangerous stunt, and ended up with a few broken ribs and a crippled leg." He starts laughing while I'm grimacing.
"That's terrible!" I say in a horror, imagining the scene.
"It was." He smiles as though it's water under bridge.
Maybe it is.
"So, did you get banished or something? I mean, after getting better of course," I ask curiously.
Malik bursts out laughing, and I join him this time. What the heck, Kira Jones! Banished? You should really stop watching those Korean historical dramas. I quietly ignore my subconscious.
"Oh, Professor! What a humor! No, I wasn't banished." Malik looks amused, relaxed even.
"Really?" I utter.
"Well, in a way I was, because they wanted me to stay away for a while since I've been nothing but a disgrace to the royal family." He makes the heedless face that forces a laugh out of my mouth. "Using my rehabilitation as an excuse, I decided to spare them the headache. Trust me, it was the best thing that could ever happen to me; I love to be free.”
Malik continues telling me about his arrival to Houston, Texas, where he stayed for a year in the rehabilitation clinic, before moving to Edinburgh, UK, for his studies, and later to London, where he met Liam.
He talks of their endeavors together, and that they didn't like one another at first. Wow! They were like cat and mouse, according to Malik himself, and I muse at the image it brings. Damn, I can’t even imagine.
Now I understand why the Darcys have become like his real family, and how much he cares for Liam. Perhaps their friendship means a lot more to him than he lets on. Just as my friendship to Sam.
Malik dismisses Cyrus, later on through a phone call; hence we use a rental car to drive back in the ranch. I had so much fun, and my mood is so lifted in comparison to how gloomy I was this morning.
When we arrive home, I'm deadly exhausted; my head on Malik’s shoulder which startles me like hell.
"Sorry, I don't always fall asleep recklessly," I utter apologetically while pulling my head away.
What a clumsy!
"I'm not complaining, Professor, am I?" Malik reassures tenderly with a friendly smile. I blush from embarrassment. "Did you have fun, though?" His worries replace the playfulness.
"Yes, so much fun," I reply while stretching my tired body, a long yawn coming along. "Thank you." My smile is grateful.
"It was nothing,” he returns gently as we start getting off. "I think I also needed to recharge after all."
It's around eight in the evening as we enter the house. It's good to be back, and all I can think of is the shower and bed. However, heavens seem to have other plans for me. The first person we encounter once we walk in is none other than Liam Darcy.
Just great!
He looks exceptionally mad that even Malik seems wary. What's his problem now? Has he been waiting for us? Because that's exactly how it seems. Malik's questions shoot back at the back of my head. How? When? I can't help but ask myself the same inquiries.
From the dream? And why the hell do I dream of him?
"Relax, brother." Malik grins, neglectful of Liam's uncalled for outburst. "I promised to return her early, and here we are."
"You promised?" I snap, suddenly enraged at their grand arrangement.
Malik's face drops remorsefully. "Professor, the thing is—“
"You call this early? You weren’t even picking your call." Liam eyes his shiny watch and I can't help but wonder about this sudden attitude of his.
He's so confusing.
“Well, with a good company who cares about the phone, bro? I probably left it on a silent mode!” Malik replies, and I’m in awe at his unweaving composure.
"Excuse me, gentlemen," I intrude, feeling tired to even stand straight. "I don't know what kind of arrangement you two had, but if I may, let me remind you that I'm not a child. I can take care of myself, and I definitely don't need a curfew like a timid little teen," I snap pointedly at Liam. He glowers at me and I couldn’t care less. "Besides, I was in very safe hands, so I don't see where this fuss is coming from." I turn to Malik for reference.
"Of course, Professor," Malik agrees, and I swear I could laugh at the face he pulls.
In all honesty, it's true; I had a great time and a very pleasant day for a change. Coming back here, I expected nothing less, as long as Liam wouldn't have showed up. But no, the cowboy is everywhere.
"Very well, in that case I'd like to retire to my room and get some rest," I tell Liam, who wants to open his mouth but decides not to.
He has no idea how striving I am to avoid any problem as far as our secret involvement is concerned. I take a deep breath, my feet heading for the stairs.
But Liam doesn't let me go that easily. "What about dinner?"
I halt by the staircase, gripping the handrails. "I had dinner already," I answer gruffly, whirling my gaze back at him.
"You did?" His voice is curt, displeased.
"Yeah. Would you like a receipt?" I sarcastically remark, making Malik block his mouth from laughing aloud.
Liam's jaw constricts. Jeez! Well, he called for it. I stay firm.
"Actually, I wouldn't call that dinner, Professor," Malik says cautiously, eyes on me. "It was just a snack and—“
"And I had enough for three," I interject.
"Well, if you put it that way, Professor." Malik laughs delightedly, successfully reading the signs. "I like your appetite, by the way."
"Oh, shut up," I hiss, and he laughs even more.
Jeez, there's no stopping him! I roll my eyes.
"You're going to sleep?" Liam asks gloomily, his voice deep and unfriendly.
My heart fringe at the undeserving treatment I give him. I'm not proud of myself.
"Yes, do you need me for anything?" I return, and he moves closer, making Malik's big eyes go bigger.
I gulp at the look of menace he saunters with, his jaw tight as though I've offended him gravely. "This can't go on," he whispers, looking as serious as hell.
Despite my internal tempest, I manage to put on a gold facade. "Goodnight," I say to them both before walking away.
Damn him! I won't break! No I won't!
I'm almost upstairs when I hear them talking, "Did you do anything to upset her? Because she's like a volcano and I'm only used to see that in you. I had no idea you had a twin," Malik enthuses.
"What?" Liam's utters, followed by Malik's laughter.
"Seriously, have you offended her?" Malik repeats, seriously thus time.
"I don't know," Liam answers cheerlessly and I lose auditory of their husky voices as I finally disappear.
Frankly I don't enjoy lashing at Liam. I'm only trying to distance myself from him, even if it means acting all cold and immature. It's the only thing I can think of, and I hope it works. I've already crossed the line, and perhaps it's a little too late, but I can still give it a try.
And why is he so possessive, dammit! I grunt, and my subconscious huffs amusedly at this. As if you don’t like it, she mutters with rolled eyes.
***
The mattress feels cold as I roll to the side of the bed, exhausted. It's been quite a fair day, I must confess, but I'm suddenly feeling all sad and empty. I'm almost on the verge to cry, but I don't want to think I'm already that miserable.
I've never felt this kind of emotion before. Is it love? I shudder with fear; not the fear of finally being in love, but rather of the person I'm supposedly falling hard for. It's like a forbidden kind of love, and it kills me softly just thinking of what to expect along the way.
It's been thirty minutes or so, and I'm still lying down thoughtfully. Nothing else comes to mind except Mr. Intense. He has apparently succeeded to dominate my head enormously, and I'm afraid there's nothing I can do about it. Love or not, I've already lost this round.
Unable to sleep, as usual, I decide to get up and dig in my suitcase for the diary. Writing has somehow proved to be a better therapy than brooding around, in my case. I sit comfortably in my bed and begin a new entry with a sniff. I believe I'm capable of filling this diary if I pour out all of my emotions lately.
"Anyways, Kira, let's write what's really the matter," I mutter with a sigh, and let the pen slide.
Dear God,
I'm not sure which one I am; a bad person or a horrible friend. But there's one thing I know for sure, that I never intend to hurt anyone. Lately I've been feeling like I'm losing my mind. Around Liam I see nothing, I hear nothing, it's as if the world comes to a halt. I know it's crazy of me to think this way, but I think I'm falling in love with him! I can't stop thinking of him; his kisses, caresses, the way he challenges me both physically and emotionally, he unleashes the part of me I didn't know existed, and I dare say that he does make me feel alive. However, I can't ignore Sam's feelings . . .
By the time I'm done with this I feel tears rolling down my cheeks and my throat feels heavy. I sniff while drying up with the tips of my fingers. I got to be strong; I can't let Liam get to me as though my existence depends on him.
But my tears are persistent just like my foolish heart, so I let them fall freely. I think I get it why people say you should cry when you feel like it; apparently I do feel better as time goes by. I even get the strengths to bathe and change into my pajamas.
A little bit later the door swings open, and my heart freaks. I watch it tentatively.
Sam pops in without a simple knock. Maybe I should learn to lock it for starters, I sigh heavily. For a moment I thought it was Liam, how stupid! My friend walks over holding something like a parcel, all smiling.
"Delivery for Ms. Kira Jones," Sam says with a dramatic exaggeration, her fair skin radiant from the good mood she's in.
"Delivery?" I ask, my brows clinched together.
"Yes, ma'am, here." She hands me a little shopping bag and I stare at it suspiciously. "Come on, Kiki, it's not a bomb!"
"What is it?" I delicately hold it.
Sam sighs heavily. "Alright, it's from Malik. Now open it," she tells me while slumping on the bed as she always does.
I scowl while opening it gingerly.
I find a cutely wrapped box: pink paper, white ribbon. Smiling, I quickly peel it off, and what’s inside is a beautiful snow globe. Wow! My grin widens. It immediately reminds me of another one I used to have with a shiny Eiffel tower.
What a sweet memory! I blush.
"It's beautiful,” I mumble.
"What? What did he give you?" Sam practically snatches it from my hands.
"Sam," I shout, and we start wrestling in a childish manner. "Be careful, Sam!"
"Okay, you don't have to bite me," she retorts. "What are you guys? Seven-years-old kids?"
I know she finds it immature but unfortunately I couldn't care less.
"I love it." I smile.
"Whatever." She gives it back while laying herself in bed. "You should really date him, because you're so much alike."
No, sweetie, I'm crazy for the forbidden.
"I'll think about it," I say absentmindedly, my eyes on the gift. "Well, I love it, and it's all that matters. Plus, I know you're jealous." I take a close look of its sparkling water with the little statue of liberty in the middle.
"Me . . . jealous of your snow globe?" Sam makes an accused face, and she's damn cute.
"Yes, ma'am, should I give it to you?" I tease.
"Give it," she utters quickly.
"Dream on." We both laugh, and I notice a small handwritten note that reads;
Could've bought you anything with a diamond, but I heard a souvenir has to carry the spirit of the place, so I hope you like it!
Malik.
I smile delightfully when I finish reading it. So typical of him; I'm not even surprised by this. Only Malik could mention diamonds on the note.
"Ah, you're so infatuated," Sam mutters, eyeing me like I'm a lost cause.
She has no idea what she's saying, so I don't bother with anything. If only she knew who infatuates me, she'd probably throw this snow globe on the wall.
If not on your face! My subconscious remarks with a very deep sigh, pitiful eyes thrown my way.