CHAPTER 32
Croissants, bacon, eggs, and a cup of coffee. What a morning! I smile from ear to ear as I sit down on the barstool, all alone in the kitchen.
“Slept well, Professor?" A voice I recognize snaps from behind me.
I cock my head and smile warmly. "Yeah, if you mean the three hours of sleep," I mutter and Malik laughs vigorously at the memory of last night.
We stayed on TV until four in the morning. Cartoon, movies, and whatever that I fell asleep beholding was all that it took.
"Enjoy your breakfast, you need your energy after the swimming marathon you had last night." He winks and disappears.
Smiling, I make my all to omit any ill thought about my recent affliction. My standing is still that I must go back home. And speaking of which, I should probably make a flight reservation as early as possible.
I can't imagine how Sam's going to recoil about my decision but I don’t think I care right now. It’s better this way. I can't ruin her dream vacation just because of my emotional crisis which I'm so ashamed to even share with her.
Back to the important agenda, the Airlines usually have a blast during this season of the year. I take my phone so as to see if I can get a ticket for tomorrow or the day after, at the very least.
It only takes few minutes to get myself booked for an afternoon flight tomorrow.
I take a deep breath now that everything is going to an end. I intend to make the most of the little time I'm left, with these amazing people I've met shortly but managed to hold a special place in my heart.
Looking back, I don't have any regret. I've felt nothing but love throughout this vacation. I remember my neighbor, Amelia's words. Luck? I smile at the memory.
In the afternoon I take a shower and slip into of white bikini and a golden kimono that's a bit transparent. My hair flows loose. I'm planning to relax by the pool, with a drink or swimming if my mood will finally allow me to. Jamal has decided to throw us a barbeque party, and Natasha dropped by about half of an hour ago.
I step out feeling okay with myself, and it’s all that matters.
The patio is literary on fire and the alluring smell of grilled ribs, Korean style, catches my nostrils. Ooh, baby I love your ways . . . Bob Marley's voice fills the air, urging my lips to move in synch.
It quickly makes me think of 'Jumanji' when Ruby fought the enemies while dancing the song. I like sweet reggae, and you can't go wrong with the combination of Kevin Hart and Dwayne Johnson.
Malik is discreetly join Malik who is lying on the sunbeds, with his huge sunglasses and a popsicle.
"Can I have one?" I startle him.
"Wow, you look stunning! Be careful with my heart, please," he says, almost aloud that everyone turn to our direction.
"Thank you," I respond while taking a seat next bed.
"Care to join?" He offers me another popsicle, and I quickly peel it off.
Glancing away, I spot Liam laughing briefly. He's standing between Jamal and Sam who are busy tending the beef. He watches me momentarily, and what I see doesn't leave me indifferent.
He's really cold and distant.
Natasha emerges from inside and announces that the barbeque sauce is almost ready. She's also brought champagne and glasses. She pours herself then Sam, who is now sitting at one of the scattered chairs busy with her cellphone. She mutters her thanks as she takes the champagne.
She seems to have been swimming. Her hair is damp, the oversized T-shirt she has on a bit wet from the soaked bikini she is wearing inside. From the background now comes Madonna's La isla bonita. I sing along in a low voice and I am starting to enjoy the moment.
"Are you still thinking of leaving?" Malik asks, a slight discomfort in his big eyes.
"Why? Are you missing me already?" I draw my full attention back to him.
"Of course, Professor," he says softly. "But I simply think you were out of your mind yesterday, weren't you?"
"It wasn't me who took down half bottle of Scotch, remember? I only had tea, so between us, I was fully sober," I joke, and at last Mr. Loaded gives me his sassy laughter.
“Alright. If you say so.” He lifts his hands up in surrender and I smile indulgently, my eyes on the prepossessing swimming pool.
"I'll be over there." I slowly get up and follow my water goddess’ desire. Malik nods.
It's going to be fine, Kira. I sigh as my feet sink into the soothing water after seating down at the pool’s edge.
Sam is talking to someone on the phone and a bright smile illuminates her face. She quickly runs to our side, and reaches Malik who's few steps behind me. I'm not sure what she tells him as I immediately get lost into Liam's eyes.
I'll surely miss you.
For a change Liam is staring at me without flinching, and we hold our gaze for a long while. I wonder what he's thinking, and it's something I wouldn't like even if I knew. Sam's voice breaks the spell and I look up at her.
"Hey, Kiki." She grins. I questioningly arch my brows. "Jeremy is coming,” she announces joyously.
"What?" I utter. My insides tighten.
"I've just asked Malik and—“ She suddenly halts and looks at her vibrating phone. A smile stretches across her face. "Hold on, I think he's here," she mutters, leaving me in a total chaos as I watch her marching away while chirping, "Hey, Jay! I'll be out in a sec."
Could this day get any worse? I close my eyes momentarily. When I flash them open, I meet Liam who is now looking at me so intently as if worried about something. I don't like at all this Sam's idea of bringing her ex over here.
I suddenly feel like throwing up. I quickly head back inside the house, to my room, without looking back. Once I’m inside, however, I just drop on the bathroom floor right near the toilet, feeling beat.
No, Kira, it didn't happen. I shut my eyes at the memory I want to erase.
I grimace at the psychological pain it inflicts on me. I shut my eyes to the image of Jeremy forcing himself on me. His inappropriate touches, the forced kisses, and even when he ripped off my clothes.
My hands wrap my upper body defensively.
It feels so real that tears fall down without a warning. I've tried so hard to forget that night, but he's about to ruin all my efforts. Snap out of it Kira, my inner voice tells me, you're stronger than this.
I slowly breathe in and out while getting up. Quickly I grab a toothbrush and paste, before cleaning my mouth violently. I hate feeling his mouth on mine! So filthy! I growl, anger taking over my whole composure.
Panting, I stare at the mirror for over five minutes, my mind revisiting the same night. No! I dry my face hastily with a towel, doing the thoughts away.
I hear footsteps approaching. It's probably Sam. Decidedly I get out of the bathroom. However, what I find isn't Sam but Liam. Huh? He frowns at the sight of my disoriented look as I gasp.
"Are you okay?" he asks softly, his eyes apprehensive.
"Yeah," I murmur while grabbing the sheets to wrap myself with, but my voice betrays the bold facade I'm putting up.
I feel cold.
"Kira!" Liam snaps as I drop haphazardly on the bed, my mind all over the place. He breezes my way. "What's wrong? You look pale." He quickly takes me into his arms.
"I'm cold." I shiver, and he looks even more bemused. "I'm fine, I'm just cold." I yield in his embrace.
"Okay, relax," he breathes, hugging me tight. "You're not burning, are you in pain?" he asks as I breathe soundly, my cheek against his firm chest.
I thought I'm done with this feeling, why is it so strong?
"Nothing happened, I can do it," I think out loud.
"What?" Liam questions, his brows creased together in confusion. "What's going on, Kira?" he demands quietly.
"Just a moment," I whisper, savoring the warmth of his body.
"Okay, calm down," Liam urges, despite being confused. I curtain my eyes at this serendipitous feeling, his palm rubbing my arm smoothly, cooing me.
Moment passes by, and my mind empties itself, regaining the vigor in my body. I would love to be in Liam’s arms forever.
"I think I just got nervous from all the stress I'm going through." I pull out of Liam's embrace, and looks down at me with hooded eyes. "I'm sorry that I—“ My voice stutters.
I'm sorry that I'm such a coward.
"Is this about what I said yesterday?" Liam asks. He suddenly looks dismayed. "I'm sorry, Kira, I was out of my mind. I understand your situation, trust me. I only believe it's better to be upfront about this matter so that—“
"No, it's not about yesterday." I get up, tears pricking my eyes stubbonly. "I'm the problem, everything is wrong with me. I feel like . . . I don't deserve you now." I gaze it him, panicked.
I feel so insecure inside.
"What?" Liam scowls.
I can’t even say it again. "Why are you here? I forgot to ask." I try changing the subject.
It takes a giant of time for Liam to answer, "Some friends of yours are outside. You'd probably want to see them." His voice is deadpan.
"My friends?" I utter, laughing pathetically.
"Are they not?" Liam scowls again, confused with everything I say and do.
Who wouldn’t? My subconscious finally rises from the depth of her cave, appearing when I least need her.
"No," I say, leaning against the wall, arms crossed on the chest. "But as a good friend, I've got to see my best friend's friends, right?"
"You're acting really strange," says Liam, his eyes narrowed.
Abandoning the wall, I move closer to him. His gaze fixes mine intently, confused and I hold my steps right before his towering height.
"Can I kiss you? Just one more time?" I breathe, my hands finding his beautiful face and stroke his stubbles. Perhaps I'll never get to kiss him again after this momenta hurtful reminder gives me a shrill.
Liam flexes, his head follows my caress on his cheek. "Kira,” he murmurs, sadness and longing laced in his voice.
"Just a kiss, Liam, I'm not begging to have sex with you," I muse between the threatening tears. My heart tightens at the look of confound he gives me.
Without saying a word, Liam's hand slips about my waist, and slowly he lands his lips on mine.
Could I have this kiss forever?
I let myself enjoy the moment, and it takes my fears away somehow, until I meet the blue in his eyes.
"I really love you, Kira," Liam whispers softly, his eyes staring at me tenderly. My heart tightens, feeling both the joy and an intense pain. Oh God! "Do not forget that," he rasps, and gain our lips touch, and I kiss him deeply this time, hoping to take my pain away.
"I'm sorry," I mutter abruptly, drawing back.
"We can have more than a kiss, Kira . . . forever. Only if you let us fight for this. The truth can set us free, even if it'll be hard at first. Like I said before, I totally respect your decision." Gloomily, Liam walks through the door, and I remain still as though frozen.
Moments pass by and I'm still trying to contemplate Liam's last words. The Sam I know, my best friend who's almost like a sister to me, will she understanding?
I know how resentful she can be when someone takes something of hers. Yes, Liam is not hers, I know, but does she? Am I ready to live without her if she chooses to see me as a traitor?
I fix myself up and immediately head outside.
"Kiki, look what I found." Sam invites me by the front door, and I can clearly see the new three guests that aren't foreign in my eyes.
I immediately notice Jeremy, still tall, unfairly good-looking with his long hair, Roman Reigns style, except for his slender body. He grew some beard which makes him older than his actual age.
His mere sight sickens me but I compose myself with everything I've got. Beside him I see Traven, his cousin, and Veronica McClellan; she's forever glued to Jeremy like his personal entourage since back then.
"I see." I force a smile as Sam ushers me over to join them in the garden, where all are seated on the deck chairs near a pair of palm trees.
"Guys, Kira is here!" Sam announces proudly, and I suck in my discomforts by smiling feebly.
"Hi, guys," I utter calmly.
Traven, short and handsome brunette, regards me with his usual charming smile. He's been a very good mannered guy, which still keeps me in suspense of why he hangs out with his stupid loser of a cousin.
"Hi, Kira Jones. Long time, huh?" he tells me, and I nod agreeably.
"Well, you look hot in that thing, teacher." I hear a sickly voice mocking me. I know it’s a mock. I turn to see its owner. "I heard you returned to UCLA . . . " Veronica continues her sarcasm, her smile as plastic as her well-done boobs.
"Thank you, McClellan. You're as beautiful as always," I say, and I can clearly see her cheeks turning rosy.
Of course not, bitch!
I can't believe she still loves compliments. She's like Sam's twin sister, and that's how people called them back in college. I'm about to take a seat when someone I forgot finally makes an input.
"What about me? Don't you remember me?" The voice makes me squint for a second, my heart racked.
I perfectly do, and I'd love to cut off the thing that makes you think you resemble a real man.
"I hope you're healthy and fine," I tell him curtly and our eyes lock.
Regardless how sarcastic my voice sounds, I'd like to stab this jerk in the heart and put on those orange overalls. Yet he smiles at me so brightly.
This son of a dick!
"Oh, Kira, still so tough, huh?" Jeremy retorts, and I see Veronica frowning at this short exchange.
"Honey, I'm still here, you know. I may start thinking you're hitting on her. Do you now prefer dark-colored women or something?" Veronica says, clinging onto his arm.
Oh, darling, you can be jealous at all ladies but me. I would never take him even in priceless price tag. I grab a beer from the icebox and finally take a seat. Sam asks them of someone and immediately a new topic arises.