-S-
Sara believed in love; falling in love, like a fairy tale. Love is a miracle, and a lot of things can be achieved through love, just like The Princess and the Frog, or in Sleeping Beauty; it was everlasting and beautiful. She also believed that she had been in that story, but she soon realized that what she had was not love; she’d been deceived. What she had with Keith was not love, so she left him. Sara had known Keith since she was little. They grew up together, and saw each other almost every day. Keith wasn’t everything she imagined, but he was good enough. He was tall, kind of good looking, always kind, and most of all, he never offended Sara. She never hurt him throughout their entire relationship. He did not talk much, because he was shy, but he would open up to his close friends and Sara. Some girls liked Keith, and some boys liked Sara, but they only needed each other. They became a couple naturally, and after they went to college, they started talking about marriage. Sara always thought that this was just the way things were supposed to be. She really believed that she loved him.
Last year in the late fall, they went to the movies. While Keith was buying their tickets, Sara was buying popcorn and soda. Sara saw Keith waiting for her and she walked to him. It was the same Keith she had known her whole life. It was no different than any other day, but it was different. When Sara saw Keith's eyes, she heard a clear voice from her heart. You don't love him. Sara was so surprised, and almost dropped their snacks. She could not focus on the movie that night. Her heart was pounding, and she kept glancing at Keith. Her shaky hand held Keith's hand. She wished her doubt would go away. After that day, she thought and thought about it. She didn’t want to believe that she had fallen out of love with Keith. She kept trying to remember how it felt to love him; she started to panic and tried to convince herself that she was crazy or that she had misheard her conscience. She did not know who to talk to about this. She read her diary from the past, and saw pictures from when they first started dating. That night, she realized that she loved Keith because she felt safe with him, but she had never truly loved him. The feelings were similar but very different.
When she left Keith, he was in shock. He asked what he did wrong. Sara did not know what to say except for, ”I am sorry, but it’s not love. I don't love you.” Keith asked her, “How could you not love me and stay with me for so long?" but she could not answer, because she really did not know why. Sara had never seen Keith that sad before. At first, he was sad, but then the anger came. He got mad at Sara for the first time in his life; he apologized to her, and then disappeared. Sara felt a hurt like she had never experienced before, but she knew that she was doing the right thing.
For two weeks, she cried, and after two months, she was sad, but after a while the realization that she made the right choice helped her get through the day. Even with this knowledge, she still felt pain over losing Keith. She wanted to know if he was doing alright, but she could not contact him. She felt guilty for leaving him. On the other hand, she did not understand why she was so sad leaving someone she did not love.
Is love just an allusion? Was our relationship anything more than just friendship? Is love just like a flower that flourishes at first and withers at the end of its life?' She looked for true love. Everybody she had asked about love treated her like a child. They said 'it was such a juvenile question.' Sara asked them, “So you don't believe in love?" They never gave her a clear answer. She kept looking around, reading books and internet articles. She found some examples, and those stories and examples were like jewelry to her. However, not many people had true love and it seemed like they would never experience it. But how do you define true love? She still wondered.
Even after she discovered that true love existed, she still had really hard days. People kept talking about her and Keith. Sara always felt annoyed when people would thoughtlessly bring up her past relationship. She could not understand why people were so nosy. Didn’t they have their own lives to worry about? She only talked to people who were very close to her. Her family was worried about her.
For the first time in her life, she thought she was 'depressed.' She had always been optimistic until the breakup. She had never been that sad. After she heard that her grandmother had collapsed, she started to fall deeper into her depression. Even though she had not visited her for a long time, she could always count on seeing her grandmother at Thanksgiving and Christmas. She felt like her life was falling apart. Maybe everything is my fault. Maybe I shouldn’t have changed anything. However, when her mother told Sara that her grandmother was alright, Sara felt great relief. Her mother made the suggestion for Sara to live in her grandmother's house for a while.
Sara snapped back to reality. She stopped herself from dwelling on the past. She had been running before, but now she was walking. She shook her old feelings away and started to pick up speed. She needed to meet Michelle and the rest of the gang for a discussion about the upcoming festival. When she arrived, Michelle was excited to see her.
"Look Sara, Jennifer made this flyer!" Michelle showed her laptop to Sara. In the flyer, it said 'We will help you remember this moment.' and there were was a picture of everybody at the top. They discussed it for a while and Bailey suggested doing something simple but memorable. They came up with an idea to sell caramel and chocolate dipped apples. Everyone who buys an apple will get a complimentary family photo that will be sent to their email. Jake seemed a little bit disappointed. Sara could not believe that he seriously tried to fry apples. Sara saw herself in the picture making a funny pose with everyone else except for Shawn. He refused to take a picture. "This is fun." Sara laughed.
"Our goal is to get $5,000.”
"Really? Is that possible?"
"Yes. It's a huge festival with a lot of people. There are bands, a circus, and all kinds of stuff."
"You said it was for three days?"
"Yes. We will earn that money and then go travel."
“That should be fun!" Sara was excited.
Their group went to a local printing store and printed the flyers. They decided to pass out 100 flyers each; whoever passed out the least amount of fliers would have to buy pizza next time. It was Jake's idea. Sara and Michelle started passing out fliers in their neighborhood.
Sara knocked on each door. If no one answered, she would slip a flier under the door. Most of the people were kind, especially, if they knew Mrs. Olverman. After Sara passed one of her fliers under the door of the blue house, she saw a tall guy walking to her. Keith? Oh, no. It can't be... It was not Keith, but he reminded Sara of Keith. Sara sighed. I wonder if he’s doing okay.
"Hey, hello," the tall guy said to Sara.
"Hi." Sara saw him holding something. It was a video game controller.
"Do you live here? I've never seen you before."
"Yes. I just moved in a couple of weeks ago." Sara answered and gave him a flier. "My friends and I are opening a booth for Apple Blossom. You should come."
"That's cool. What's your name?"
"I'm Sara."
"Jack." Jack passed the game controller to his left hand and put his right hand out to shake Sara's hand. Sara shook his hand. When Sara was about to walk away, Jack called out.
"Hey. If you give me your number, maybe I can give you a tour."
"Oh, it's ok. I am living with my friend. She knows this place pretty well."
"Well. Can I treat you and your friend to dinner sometime?"
"We are kind of busy now...maybe next time."
"Ok. Then, can you give me your number so I can ask you out next time?"
"Well. I can't."
"Why, do you have a boyfriend?"
Sara almost said yes, because it was the answer that she had used for the so many years.
"No, but we just broke up."
"Well, alright. How about this? When I see you next time, you’ll give it me?"
"Ok. That's fine." Sara smiled and turned around. She did not want to date anybody, no matter who it was. Sara inhaled, and put on her bright smile, just like when she was happy. She passed out all of her fliers that evening.