“Wow. I’m actually speechless for once. I didn’t realise you had a slutty-kinky side to you.”
It’s Sunday afternoon and Mel and I are in my kitchen having lunch while I tell her about my night with Jase, and everything that happened in between. Even the whole almost-having-kinky-sex-but-not part.
“And you haven’t heard from him since. He hasn’t tried to call you. Didn’t say anything to you while he dropped you home from the hotel?”
“Nope,” I say popping some food in my mouth. “We just spoke about work stuff. I mean he said he wants to see me again but then never brings anything up when he drops me home. He doesn’t even try to kiss me. Just a simple ‘see you later’ and that was it. I don’t get him.”
“Sounds like you developed some feelings for him though?” Mel questions.
The truth is I would say no. But after being with him in the way that I have, I guess a slight attachment has formed. Yeah I like him. But he’s not a good guy. And he will only break my heart.
“I guess maybe I do like him a little, and that’s only when I let my guard down a little,” I continue on.
“Well – I’m just glad you’re okay. Anyways plenty more fish in the sea right? Besides, I’m glad you finally got SOME. But if I was never going to see him again, I would’ve just fucked him. Otherwise I would’ve been left feeling unsatisfied and everytime I see him- it would be on your mind,” Mel says with her two cents.
I just roll my eyes pretending not to agree, but that last part- well she’s right there.
At that exact moment, my phone beeps. I walk over and swipe my phone to see who it is. From an unknown number.
I’m picking you up at 7 tonight for dinner. No If’s or but’s. C u then.
Jase.
My heart kicks up another notch and I have to re-read the message at least three times before I turn to Mel.
“it’s Jase. He’s taking me out to dinner tonight,” I tell Mel. “I don’t know what to say. He won’t take no for an answer,” I say while showing Mel the text.
“Wow. He’s totally taking charge with you,” she responds while looking at my phone.
“Well what do I do?” I retort
“Not much you can do, babe. Looks like you’re going to have a nice meal tonight,” she says emphasising the word meal.
“I can’t do this Mel. I’m way too attracted to him. I don’t want to be another notch on his belt. I’m just not ready for this, whatever this is,” I say panic stricken.
“Sophie Jacobs. If you live your life forever scarred by your past and what Steve did to you, you’re never gonna live baby girl! You’ve had your heart broken, but guess what, we all have! Time to live a little. Maybe this is the guy who will help you move past all that. Why don’t you just enjoy each other’s company for what it is? You’re not heading into this head first, your aware of what could happen and the sort of guy he is. It is time to have some fun.”
I decide Mel’s right. I can’t live my life stuck in the past. Whatever’s going to happen, will happen.
I text Jase Back:
You don’t leave me much of a choice. Dinner it is.
My phone beeps straight back from Jase:
It’s a date.
“Well that’s done,” I tell Mel.
“Good, I’m glad. I want you to start living a little,” she teases
“Ha ha, very funny. Anyway come on, I want to head to the gym and get a boxing session in before dinner tonight. And you’re my new sparring partner,” I say excitedly.
Mel Just rolls her eyes and groans. “Okay okay let’s go.
*******
I arrive back at home after my boxing session feeling totally exhausted. Poor Mel, she copped quite a few punches from me. I couldn’t help but think of Jase when she had asked me how I had learnt to all of a sudden knock her on her ass.
I jump in the shower and quickly get ready for my date tonight with Jase. I don’t really feel like going, and I really need to work on my designs. I consider cancelling but shake the thought away immediately. I don’t want to dog Jase last minute, especially knowing I wouldn’t like it.
“Argh what do I wear,” I say to no one in particular.
I decide on black shorts, a white fitted tank, and black pumps. I layer my outfit with varying lengths of gold chains from my jewellery range and my signature red lipstick and diamond stud earrings. There something about wearing diamond stud earrings and red lippie that makes me feel dressed up instantly. I swipe on some blush and mascara just as the doorbell rings. I grab my black blazer and black Prada tote and open the door to see Jase standing there with the bunch of yellow roses.
My favourite colour and my favourite flower. Oh he’s smooth.
I play it cool and cover the giddiness building inside me with a slight smile. “Hi Jase, come in,” I say before stepping aside.
He looks absolutely, hands down; probably the most gorgeous I’ve ever seen him. He’s wearing a black long sleeve cotton tank with and dark jeans. And a rather large silver Rolex.
“These are for you,” he says handing me the bouquet of flowers and kissing me softly on the cheek.
“Thankyou, they are stunning. Roses are my favourite,” I say smiling like school girl.
He looks me up and down, taking in every inch of my skin like he’s about ready to devour me again, his green eyes sparkling. “You look gorgeous Sophie.”
He’s in my personal space and with the way he’s looking at me; I know I’m going to start hyperventilating.
I decide to just smile and step around him to the kitchen. I can see Jase smirking from the corner of his eye, knowing the effect he has on me.
That arrogant bastard.
I grab a vase from the cabinet and fill it with water while Jase walks around inspecting photos and getting a feel of my place.
“You have a nice place here Sophie.”
“Thanks, I’m still re-decorating, but it’s definitely coming together.”
I finish decorating the flowers and place them in the middle of the counter. “Okay let’s go.”
*******
Sitting In Jase’s Lamborghini, I’m invaded by his familiar smell of cologne and crisp white sunny days. I’m fidgety and nervous as hell. The more time I spend with Jase, the deeper I go into dangerous waters. I know this is not forever. Jase is not a forever guy. He’s someone you have fun with. You have great sex with. And then you walk away. And I’m so damaged inside; my heart is so broken that he would run a mile anyway.
“So where are we going?” I ask nervously looking out the window.
I turn back to face Jase who is smiling at me.
“Well, I have two options for you. You get to pick one. I’ve booked dinner at a restaurant, trust me, the food is great, and you will love it. The other option is two courtside tickets to the LA Lakers game tonight,” he says holding up two tickets.
A massive smile breaks out on my face. “You are kidding me! How’d you get those?”
“It was nothing. I just wanted to take you somewhere fun,” he says laughing.
“Well I’m impressed Mr Harmon! You did goooood!” I say playfully squeezing his arm.
Jase grabs my hand in his and gives it a slight squeeze. “Glad your excited Soph.”
*******
We pull up to the Staples Centre and now I’m wishing I wasn’t so dressed up. This is why I hate surprises. Jase, ever the gentleman, opens the car door for me and helps me out of the car. I tell him politely that I’m fine but he’s not having it.
I let go of his hand as soon as I step outside the car, but he gently grabs my hand in his and entwines his fingers with mine. He gives me a sideways smirk but I just look away. The last time I held hands with a guy this intimately was with Steve. Holding hands is a foreign concept to me. It’s too intimate. I want to pull away. Because my hands hold my heart. And as silly as it sounds, giving Jase my hand is like giving him my heart.
Before I have anymore time to let my mind start its usual downward spiral, I’m interrupted by the hundreds of Lakers’ fans bleeding purple and gold outside the stadium. Cheers and chants are being taken over and I can feel the competitive buzz in the air. It’s hard not to get excited and caught up in it.
“Have you ever been to a game before?” Jase asks me as we enter the stadium and walk down to our seats.
“No, never! I can’t believe it’s like this. I mean I see it on TV, but being here does not even compare to watching the game on TV. It’s electric,” I say looking around at the throngs of people, the fans and taking in the music vibrating through my ears.
“Well I’m glad to be your first,” Jase whispers silently in my ear. Goose bumps tingle up my spine and a shudder ripples through my body as his breath tickles my skin. The sensitivity only brings back memories of the other night and I have to count to ten in my head before I turn into a googly-eyed weirdo.
As we take our seats, I spot jack Nicholson a couple of seats across from us. I grab Jase by the shoulder and quickly whisper in his ear. “Tell me that’s not Jack Nicolson!”
“Yeah it is. Apparently Nicholson is such a fan that he has engaged in arguments with game officials and opposing players, and even walked onto the court.”
I look at Jase wide eyed. “No way.”
“Yep, you might even see him in action tonight.”
I notice he’s still holding my hand when a couple of guys start walking in our direction.
I can’t make out the first guy, but the second is none other than Kings of Leon frontman, Caleb Followill. I assume they’re just going to walk past us. But as they near, Jase gets up.
“Hey man, how you going?” Jase says smacking Caleb’s hand in a quick handshake and giving a quick guy hug.
My jaw drops open.
This cannot be happening.
“What you doin’ here bro, I thought you were in New York?” Caleb says to Jase.
I stare wide eyed, going back and forth between the two’s interaction, almost like I’m watching a tennis match.
“Just looking to buy some property here. Work’s been crazy up here so I thought I’d get a place,” Jase says conversationally back to Caleb.
Again, all I can do is stare. And remember to breathe.
“So here alone?” Caleb asks Jase
Oh shit.
“Actually I’m here with a friend,” Jase says looking my way.
I look back and see all three men staring at me. I awkwardly get up and go over to shake hands with Caleb. From Kings of Leon. Cue my first celebrity interaction moment.
“Hi, I’m Sophie. I’m a huge fan of your music.”
Oh shit, why would I say that now I sound like a fucking groupie.
“Nice to meet you Sophie, and thanks,” Caleb says shaking my hand.
“I’ll send over some backstage tickets to you Jase, you guys better be at my concert.”
“Yeah sounds good. I’ll catch up with you later man,” Jase says to Caleb and then sitting down beside me.
“Tell me that just didn’t happen,” I say star stunned to Jase.
“What was that?” he says draping an arm around me giving me one of his megawatt smiles that could make my panties drop.
“That you, firstly, seem to be friends with Caleb, the lead singer of Kings of Leon, and secondly, that he just gave you backstage passes to his concert.”
“That didn’t happen,” Jase says deadpan.
“Okay, how on earth do you know him? I love Kings of Leon! You guys seem like old friends!”
“My company handles the publicity side of things for the band, but Caleb and I have been friends since we were growing up. His folks knew mine and when things got big with his band, he came to me.”
“Wow. I can’t believe you have backstage passes to his concert.” I say excitedly.
Jase turns to me and gives me a curious smile. “You say it like you’re not coming.”
My heart does a funny flip at this. Does he want me to come with him? I mean I know Caleb is sending tickets to Jase, but I never assumed I’d be going. I mean, I don’t even know what’s going on between Jase and I and I don’t plan for it to last long. Besides, he’s probably got a million other girls he can take. Why me?
“Well, you haven’t asked me. So I just assumed you would be taking someone else.”
“Sophie, who else would I take?” Jase asks in a serious tone.
I look away from him. This is the part where things get tricky and where I didn’t want it to lead.
“Well, you probably have a million other girls you could take, why me?”
He looks at me thoughtfully. Almost sad that I asked him that question. Actually disappointed is a better word.
He grabs my chin with his hand and tilts it up so I have nowhere to look but in his eyes. Those ones that got me hooked in the first place.
“Sophie, I’m not dating anybody else, I’m not with anybody else, and I’m here, with you. Exactly where I want to be. If you think that other girls flirt with me and it’s because I’ve been with them, I haven’t. That Tracey girl you met back at Hotel, she’s been at me since I’ve been there. She is nothing. I like you Soph, and I want you to come to the concert with me. Just me and you.”
He says it with such sincerity that I feel ashamed for judging him like that. But I didn’t miss the part where he told me he likes me. And I hate the way that I like that he said it. I hate that I fall for him a little more each time I’m with him.
“Okay. Thankyou,” I say meekly.
Really, did I just thank the guy for the confession he just made? Weirdo!
“You don’t have to thank me,” Jase says laughing. “You just have to come with me.”
“Isn’t the concert in the next couple of weeks in New York?”
“It is. So when you come up for your meeting in New York, you can come to the concert. It’s the perfect timing.”
He’s got it all figured out, this guy. I didn’t think I’d be seeing him tonight let alone in the next couple of weeks. What am I getting myself into?
“I’m going to grab us some hotdogs and drinks, I’ll be right back,” Jase says before getting up to leave.
‘Okay see you in bit,” I say back to him.
The stadium is packed to the rafters. A sea of gold and purple litter the seats. And I’m here at my very first Lakers game sitting courtside only a couple of seats away from Jack Nicholson and I have just been invited to the Kings of Leon concert by the lead singer. I’m also here with Jase. The most gorgeous guy I have ever laid eyes on. This is another one of those moments I will never forget. I know it won’t last, this thing I have with Jase. And maybe that’s why I cherish it so much. Why I cherish each moment. Sooner or later, it will end. It’s just a matter of when.
All of a sudden the crowd screams a deafening cheer as the LA Lakers Players walk out onto the stage. I pull out my phone and take as many pictures as I can of Kobe Bryant. He is no more than a couple of feet away. I could almost call out to him. Putting my phone back in my bag, Jase appears with hot dogs and drinks.
“This is awesome!” I say to him excitedly taking the hot dog and drink off him. “I can’t believe how close I am to the players and the energy in here is amazing!”
As the game starts, we eat our hot dogs and get into the game. When Kobe Bryant scores yet another shot and puts the Lakers into a 15 point lead against the Miami Heat, I’m on my feet cheering away with the crowd. I’ve never been big on basketball but being here, right in the hub of it, well how can you not feel the energy rolling off you?
I sit back down, booing when Miami Scores a three pointer.
“I take you to one game and you suddenly become the Lakers’ biggest fan! Who are you and what have you done with Sophie?” Jase asks me at Half time.
“I never thought I could get so caught up in basketball! I love it, it’s amazing being here!” I say beaming.
Jase just laughs at me and gives me a quick side hug. “Well I’m glad you’re enjoying yourself.”
Towards the end of the game I feel like I’ve been hanging out with my best friend having the time of my life. I’ve never cheered and jumped up and screamed like a cheerleader and had so much fun. Actually, this is the third time I have spent with Jase where we’ve both laughed so hard. Being with him makes me feel alive again. Like I’m breathing clean, fresh air. And I can feel myself becoming a different person around him. Like a caterpillar shedding its skin.
I don’t even notice that I’m holding hands with Jase back to his car with our fingers entwined, walking like we’re joined to the hip. I feel buzzed. High on life.
As we get into his car, I have the sudden urge to play some kings of Leon. “Do you by any chance have the song ‘Wait for me’ by Kings of Leon?
“Sure, here’s my phone, just go through my song list – it’s there in alphabetical order,” he says handing me his phone.
I scroll to the song and let it play. As it comes on, Jase turns up the sound and lets the windows down, inviting the warm summer breeze to kiss my skin. Jase grabs my hand again and entwines his fingers with mine during the song, squeezing it gently. I look down at my hand within Jase’s and I can’t help but smile at him. He smiles back at me as we cruise towards the beach. I can feel a connection forming between us. One I never saw coming.
The song eventually ends and Jase asks me if I’m okay to head to the beach. I nod at him, not wanting to go home yet. I realise at that moment that I’m getting in way over my head. If I don’t want to leave Jase’s company this early on, it scares me to think what will happen if I keep seeing him.
“So where are we going?” I ask as I hop out of Jase’s car.
We’re on the beachside strip where the shops are still open and the beach is right on the other side.
“Thought you’d like some ice-cream, and thought we could just go for a walk,” he responds taking my hand in his.
If it’s possible for my mind to smile, it just did. I feel like a little school girl with a serious crush on a very gorgeous man. And the best part? He’s with me right now holding my hand and we’re getting ice-cream like little teenagers. I breathe in the air, relishing this moment. His hand. This place. This time. You’d be surprised at how the simplest things make you grateful and appreciate what you have. When you have such a downward spiral, being grateful can really pull you out of the hole you’re in.
We both get ice cream cones to go before going back to Jase’s car, leaving my shoes in there. We then head down towards the beach, treading softly in the sand, with my ice cream in one hand and Jase’s hand in the other.
We walk all the way down to the water, where it laps out our feet. I can hear the roar of the ocean and the waves breaking far out into the distance. I thought it would be a lot darker and was wondering how we would even make it down to the water, but it seems it’s a full moon tonight and it’s lighting up the beach like a Christmas tree. I couldn’t describe a more perfect image.
The water is delightfully cool, and we’re in enough we’re it tickles our feet. I can taste the ocean air from the salt water that seems to mist my face every time a wave crashes down.
“This is nice,” I say to Jase in between mouthfuls of ice-cream. “I love the ocean. I’ve always wanted a house right on the beach.”
We walk slowly along the water every now and then I’ll splash around with my feet like a child would.
“Yeah it’s nice. I love to go surfing first thing in the morning, when it’s still dark and the sun is only just starting to rise. Being out there, all the way in the middle of the ocean, it’s unreal, there’s nothing like it.”
I stop dead in my tracks and turn to Jase, “Wait, you surf?”
Jase looks at me with a smug smile.
“I mean, I just didn’t peg you as the surfing type,” I continue.
“Well what kind of guy did you peg me for Sophie?”
I realise I’m caught in that awkward situation he somehow manages to put me in. Where he’s able to mince my words and I’m left standing there gawking at him like a complete idiot. Or more like a girl who is falling more and more for a guy I shouldn’t be.
“I just…you seem so put together, serious, calm…collected. Not that guys who surf aren’t all those things, but I guess…well I don’t know...now I guess I realise how silly it sounds.”
Damn it, I’m stumbling all over my words.
Jase tilts my chin up with his hand where I have nowhere to look but into those eyes. Those green eyes that still burn even in the moonlight.
“I can be a lot of things Sophie. You just have to get to know me,” he whispers.
He’s lips are an inch away from mine and he already has my face cupped on one side with his hand. I feel that pull, that electric pull where I know I’m about to kiss him, where all my thoughts about running away start fading into the background. Right now, in this moment, all I can think about his Jase’s lips moving with mine.
I close my eyes and I feel Jase’s lips claim mine. This kiss is gentle at first. He kisses me slow, only using his lips to kiss mine.
He slowly, ever so gently trickles soft kisses down my jaw before nibbling on my neck. With one of his hands holding the side of my face, he places his other hand on my ass, smashing me flush against his rock hard body. I feel Jase’s tongue slide inside my mouth, owning me, claiming me. I try to take control, try and let him know I want some control, but he continues his glorious onslaught with his tongue and I let him. I moan out and tilt my head back, exposing my neck for Jase to consume. And consume he does.
He ravages me with his kisses all over my neck, sucking and biting. I’m hungry for so much more, it’s like there’s a switch he’s turned on inside me, and I’m ready for him. I kiss Jase back with all the passion I can muster. I start with his lips, down to his jaw, and then around to his neck. I can feel his dick harden and begin to tilt upwards. I press further into him, grinding my pelvis into him, letting him know my need for him.
I feel my shirt being ripped open and Jase’s mouth sucking one of my breasts. The sheer pleasure of seeing him on me like that makes me wet.
He pulls away suddenly, before looking back into my eyes. His eyes hungry. Like an animal just about to attack its prey.
“Fuck Sophie, I want you so bad. You have no idea what you do to me. I want to have you.”
I can’t even begin to form a coherent sentence. All I can do is kiss him back to let him know I want him just as bad.
Jase’s hands stroke my breasts and move down my back until he has both hands gripping my backside, lifting me to him. If we weren’t fully clothed, he would be in the perfect position to enter me right now.
I wrap my legs around his waist as he gently lays me on the sand, his body pressing against mine. His head in my chest, sucking on nipples while he rubs his hard cock against my clit.
But just when I think I’m about to get what I want -his hard cock inside of me- Jase stops moving and kissing me on the mouth. Instead, he kisses me lightly on the forehead before looking back into my face.
“Not here Sophie, not like this,” he breathes heavily.
I’m panting like a dog, ready for anything, so I have no idea how Jase could be having this much control. I was basically ready to have sex with him, but he had enough self-control to stop. What the hell does that say about me?
“Okay,” I say slowly.
Jase stays in between my legs, almost battling within himself to keep going. “Trust me Sophie, I want nothing more than to be inside you right now,” he says looking at me with hungry eyes. “But not here.”
He slowly gets up off me and lies next to me, pulling me next to him so that my head is resting on his chest. His fingers rake up and down the front of my stomach, sending goose bumps all over my skin.
We’re quiet for a few moments. I don’t know what to say after that episode and in some weird way, now that my breathing is under control and my thoughts have become more rational, I’m glad I didn’t do it here with him on the beach. I’m falling for him and this was not part of the plan.
I gaze up at the sky and can’t help but be in awe at the millions of stars that litter our night sky. I feel like I’m in another world with Jase.
“You know I think you are the most gorgeous girl I have ever seen,” Jase says softly to me, breaking the silence.
I’m stunned by his confession. Jase could have any girl he wants, I’m far from stunning!
“How’d I even get you?” he continues, looking down to face me.
I lift my head up to his, seeing sincerity in his eyes. A flash of joy sputters in my heart. Almost like an electric shock brining my heart back to life.
No, I can’t let him in.
But truthfully, I guess I already have. I’m only kidding myself now.
“And here I was thinking what is a handsome guy like yourself doing with a girl like me” I say softly back to him.
He hugs me closer, kissing the top of my forehead, an endearing gesture that I melt for.
“So any brothers or sisters?” I ask while drawing circles on his chest
“I have one sister. She’s two years younger. She lives over in Europe and she has a little daughter who is two years old. Her name is Leah and she is adorable” he says while flicking through his phone and showing me an image of her.
He is right, his niece is gorgeous. In the picture, Jase is holding her in his arms giving her a kiss on the cheek while she is smiling with her hands in the air. Totally happy.
“She’s adorable” I say giving his phone back. “Do you see her often?”
“I try to fly up every couple of months or my sister comes down. It’s hard with work and the distance but I do all I can for my family.”
I smile at this. Under that exterior of steel, I’ve seen glimpses of a man that is actually caring and is a family man.
‘What about you Sophie, brothers, sisters? Where are your folks?”
“No brothers or sisters, it’s just me. My dad left when I was just a kid so it’s just been me and mum ever since. She lives here in LA about half an hour from my place. I see her often. I guess Mel and Emmanuel are the closest things to having brothers or sisters. To me, they're family.”
Jase gives me an earnest look and nods at me. I can tell he wants he wants to ask more about my family but seems to know better not to press it. “I noticed that you Em and Mel were quite close. You would think Emmanuel and you had some history if you didn’t know he was gay” he says smiling.
This makes me laugh. “I think you’re about the hundredth person who has said that! But no. Em is like my long lost brother. That’s as far as our relationship goes. ”
“Well at least I have no competition” Jase says back
I look at him to see if there is any truth in his words but he just smiles at me. My heart does funny things when he says stuff like that and I have to catch myself before I start falling anymore for his words. Because that’s what they are –words. And this is only a fun time. Nothing more.
We continue laying there on the beach, chatting about our lives, kissing and making out like a couple of love struck teenage kids would.
‘So you have your own marketing firm, how’d you manage that” I ask. Truthfully, I’ve been judging Jase all this time, assuming he’s this or that. And I’m assuming that life has been handed to him on a platter. And I want to know what drove this man to be who he is today and just how he got there. Was his parents always rich and life has always been cushy for him? Or is he a mortal being who’s had ups and downs like the rest of us?
“I guess my career path was similar to yours. I was destined to do something else, and I guess fate had other ideas” he says while playing with my hair and gazing up into the night sky. “MY dad was an alcoholic, so when I was growing up I didn’t really see him around. He was pretty abusive to my mum and he hit me a couple of times. I was playing quarterback for my high school team and I was selected to play for the major leagues. But my heart was never in it. I only did it because my dad pushed me so