WORN by Bridget Ratidzo - HTML preview

Chapter Eleven

I rake my fingers into my braids. Out of frustration. I am sitting cross legged at the foot of the couch on a rug in one of Taylor’s sweaters and my favorite flowery pajama bottoms. It’s a little chilly because of the rain. Lawyer is pacing from the other end of the living room to the other one with a thoughtful scowl on his face and hands clasped behind his back. Julian is on one of the couches scrolling through his iPod for a perfect song while he is nodding to the one I figured he is absently listening to in his head.

Taylor who is sitting behind me on the couch gently pry my fingers from my braids and holds my hand while I rest my head on his knees.

‘Lawyer stop pacing it’s making me dizzy.’ I groan as I close my eyes for emphasis.

‘Are you sure?’ Julian puzzles, his eyes still on his gadget, ‘it was rush hour man maybe you just thought.’

Lawyer stops mid-pace and pivots to face Julian jabbing his index finger in his direction, ‘it’s not like Charlie has no reason to want to kill me Julian stop pretending to be dense. This is a declaration for a fight.’

Julian avoids to look at him as he says, ‘it’s just that Charlie never does anything without a word from the big boss.’

‘Exactly.’ Lawyer exclaims

Julian pokes hard at the screen of his gadget and ‘missa baby’ starts playing. We all cast him dirty looks which he ignores as he props his leg on top of the other one before pinning us with reprimanding stares.

‘Who told you to leave the house?’

Geez I never knew Julian could manage a serious face. He looks all grown up and wise all of a sudden—

‘What’s with the song?’ Lawyer scoffs

‘Don’t change the subject!’ Julian raises an eyebrow, ‘why is this so hard for you to understand? How can you not see the seriousness of this case? A leader is dethroned if he fails to provide incentives to strengthen his clan…who do you think will take over if Rolland is removed?’

My eyes snap open at the mention of Mr. Abiwu’s name.

A deathly silence falls before Lawyer resumes pacing muttering harsh expletives to himself. Taylor doesn’t say anything. He continues to rake contemplative fingers in my hair, massaging my scalp and starting all over again. He hasn’t said anything since I arrived, he was pretty freaked out when he learned that we almost died in a car accident but he hasn’t uttered a word. It’s starting to worry me.

Lawyer then stops pacing again and starts laughing softly before he turns into hysterical breathless belly aching laugh. He bends over a couch and hold on to it with both hands still laughing.

Julian concentrates on him for a moment before picking up his gadget again and starts scrolling through it. Great, now Julian has also joined in the silent dialogue mannerism. I wonder why I am still sane after these past two weeks. Taylor gets up and takes my hand making me stand with him. Without a word he leads me to the bedroom where he closes the door, pushes me against it and kisses me hard.

I rake my fingers into his hair and kiss him back equally hard. By the time it’s over we are both breathless as we rest our foreheads against each other.

‘I letting you go with Lawyer!’ he whispers.

My eyes snap open and I jerk away from him except I can’t move anywhere. I am practically trapped between him and the door.

‘I can’t watch you go through all this again- I just can’t.’

‘You’d rather see me go?’

‘You will be safe. So will our child.’

I push him away from me. To no avail, but I do it anyway because it makes me feel like I am doing something.

‘It’s for the best.’

‘No don’t do this.’ I sniffle, ‘what do you think you will achieve by being the person he wants.’

‘I already was,’

‘No you were not.’

I know the man I met and fell in love with. The man I married. He had kept his distance from all the horrors of his family and was determined to be as far from it as possible, how could he just give up now.

‘I love you, and I can’t just watch you die like this when I can do something about it.’

‘I am fine.’ Tears well in my eyes.

‘What if you don’t escape next time—I rather watch you from a distance knowing that you are alive than have a memory of you dead because of me.’

I grab fistfuls of his hair, ‘I will die without you. How is that fine?’

‘You will be safe and so will our child.’

‘You won’t be.’ I choke, ‘why are you giving up—why are you surrendering to him?’

‘I will be fine,’ he stares at me and in a flash I am taken back to our first meeting months ago when he had almost kissed me and then shut me out. I stare at him as my hands fall from his hair to my side. He closes his eyes briefly and presses his lips on my forehead a little longer before he moves away from me.

I don’t wail or sob or fall to the floor in tears as I watch him pull his suitcase behind him out of the bedroom. The pain and hurt I feel deep inside is unfathomable. I can feel it coming. The darkness I had once embraced two years ago and had held me prisoner. The heavy feeling that at the same time feels so light and caressing like a doomsday lullaby. A little painful twist turn in my heart as the last of his foot leaves the room. He doesn’t even look back. I can understand that.

I know that if he looks back he may change his mind. And for him it’s either this or my life. He is convinced that Mr. Abiwu and Charlie won’t hurt me if he leaves me.

Will that be the end? Will I someday in the future retell my controversial love story of a man who stole my breath at first sight, turned my whole world upside down in a few months and then vanished as quickly as he came like a bad dream?

The only energy I have left is to curl on the bed and close my eyes. All the darkness I have been keeping at bay start to enshroud me from the inside out. I want to close my eyes and never see reality again. I want to be stuck in fantasy land where I only write happy endings.

It’s Wednesday. Three days have gone in a blur since Taylor left. I wake up, eat, and even check dates and time. As much as I would have loved to stay under the covers until I eventually forever slip into oblivion. Truth is that Taylor is gone. For the sake of keeping his psycho father at bay he has left everything we had just started building and took off into a world he didn’t want to be a part of. Grief turned to anger as I turned all this in my head.

Taylor you are a coward. You are a coward towards your evil father. You are a slave to him. You were no willing to fight for us. For what we had. For what we were just starting to build. I hate you—I hate you in a unique way because behind it all I love you. Does that even make any sense?

Continue with Heather’s story in the next book of the Worn Series

SWORN (Book 4 of the Worn Series)

Chapter One

Rain cascades from a dark sky like clear crystal curtain and lands on the wet street pavements with the ease of maple syrup on a pancake. It’s been raining for three hours. Before then the sun had been scorching hot while the atmosphere scented rain.

Like most people I had anticipated the weather but not the length. It’s the first week of November, usually it consisted of hot dry days and mosquitoes infested nights. This year is different. November opened with a series of heavy rains and weather changes.

I turn back to the room stifling a sigh. I don’t want to draw Lawyer’s attention because—well it’s just annoying. Why is he here and not Taylor? But his eyes rise from the file he is discussing with Julian and he looks at me questionably. I just shrug and move from the window as fast as my protruding stomach allows me.

I wish it could stop raining so that I can take my swollen ankles for a little spin. My body aches for movement since all I ever do is sit around because gynecologist Lawyer forgets that I am pregnant not in a wheelchair. I cast him an annoyed look as I make my way to the kitchen rubbing my tummy.

‘Is she always this irritated?’ I hear Julian whisper to Lawyer.

‘It gets worse by the day.’ Lawyer whispers back

‘Taylor owes you for this.’

Lawyer scoffs, ‘watching a child grow is amazing.’

‘ugh don’t start the speech with me—besides you are not watching a baby grow—you are watching Heather grow fat and heavy each day, it’s really cute though.’

Julian doesn’t see me until I walk over to him and smack him at the back of his head.

‘Ow,’ he yelps then turns to give me a grin, ‘what?’

‘If you call me fat again I will hurt you.’

Lawyer laughs, ‘she means it man.’

‘I said you are fat and cute—I mean well.’

Lawyer rolls his eyes and looks at me. ‘You hungry?’

‘I want a walk my legs hurt.’

Julian’s eyes fall to my swollen legs and he breathes out a whistle. I glare at him.

‘I don’t know how you are going to walk on those.’

I give him another smack on the head.

‘Ow what is wrong with you?’

I ignore him and turn to Lawyer, ‘so?’

‘Eat something first.’

‘I am not hungry.’

‘It’s for the baby.’

I place a hand on my stomach, ‘your caring is so touching.’

‘It’s my niece.’

‘It’s a girl?’ Julian raises an eyebrow.

‘Yes,’ Lawyer answers

I smile at the thought. We just went for a scan and found out that I am having a girl. The news helped to lighten my dark world a little. And these two worked their magic to pull me out of my dark depression. It’s been three months since Taylor left. It’s been hard. It still is. If it wasn’t for Lawyer and Julian I wouldn’t have made it.

‘Judith is coming over with Celine in half an hour time.’ Julian tells me.

I beam, ‘really?’

I look at Lawyer who nods in affirmation. I almost jump with excitement but my heavy body won’t allow that one. The mother in me smiles warmly while my other brain companions do happy dances. Mostly because Celine gets to tell me everything that is happening out there. Things that Lawyer and Julian keep from me. Just knowing that Taylor is okay and understanding what he is doing helps me to come out of my depression as well. According to Celine, the clan members now believe that I am with Lawyer, they stopped trying to bait Taylor by using me. They wouldn’t dare touch anything that belongs to Lawyer—he has a reputation which I haven’t figured out. There is just something dark and dangerous about him. Something that he has in common with Taylor.

COMING SOON- 2022