Squeezing a Camel through a Needle
A few weeks later on Friday evening, Nick was sitting at the kitchen table enjoying a hot dog and a bag of potato chips when his mom arrived home. It had been another great day at the summer camp and he wanted to tell his mom all about it. Plus he was looking forward to a fun night. Bob and Tanner were going to join him for a night out on the town.
His mom told him that morning that she’d be going to the doctor’s in the afternoon to get the results of a second test following a routine colonoscopy. When she walked into the kitchen, he noticed that nothing seemed routine about her appearance. Instead, she exuded despondence and humility.
“Nick,” she uttered as she walked to the table and sat down in the chair next to him, “I have cancer…and a morbid prognosis.”
The words shook Nick’s world. Time stopped. He zoned off as he recollected the joy he’d found with his mom as a small child. She’d always protected him from his dad’s harsh words and was his hero in life. Cancer. Morbid prognosis. Cancer. The words replayed over and over in his mind as he struggled to grasp their meaning and impact on his life.
Things felt surreal. The kitchen seemed to be swirling and twirling and he felt sick to his stomach. Soon tears splashed out of Nick’s eyes as he looked into his mom’s red eyes. He drew a deep breath and stood up to hug her. She met his hug and they stood wrapped in one another’s arms for a long while.
Taking another deep breath, he said, “How bad is it Mom? Do you have to go through chemo?
“It’s not good Nick. Not good at all. Stage four. It’s aggressive and it’s in several of my organs, including my liver. He said that I need to get my affairs in order and that I only have a few months left. I’m hoping that the cancer center in Pinellas has a breakthrough treatment. Otherwise it’s chemo.” She trailed off and whimpered as she went to the kitchen counter and grabbed a tissue.
“Mom, I don’t want to lose you. I need you. We need each other.”
His words made her cry harder, which crushed him.
They soon moved into the family room where they sat down on a couch. Nick reached out and held her hand and they sat in silence. Second passed. Then minutes. At least fifteen minutes passed before she stood up.
Choking back her tears, she said, “I need to make a few calls. I’m not going to report to work tomorrow. I’ll be taking a leave of absence. I don’t know if I’ll be going back any time soon, or at all. They’ll need to find a temporary replacement. Or a permanent one.” She walked into her home office with her shoulders slumped. Nick had never seen her in such a state.
He fell to the floor and prayed as thoughts of his mom’s cancer diagnosis flooded his mind.
“Jesus, please don’t take my mom. Please. I love her. Please don’t take her away. She’s not ready,” he said as tears poured out of his eyes.
He got back onto the couch and took a deep breath. Closing his eyes, he prayed again.
A few minutes later, his mom walked out of her office and sat down beside him. His thoughts turned to her salvation.
“Mom, this may sound like a funny question. But what’s in your will? Is anything going to charity?”
“Everything goes to you Nick: the house, the car, the yacht, the savings. It’s all yours.”
“Mom,” Nick said, “I don’t want everything. I’ll need money to finish college, but I don’t want anything beyond that. I want you to give the rest to the church.”
“What?” She scoffed, “why would I do that? I don’t go to church. I want you to use the money, and to share it with your family one day. I want you to live the life I’ve worked so hard for you to live.”
“I don’t want that life. If you give me the money, I’ll donate what I don’t need for college to help others. I’ll donate to the church. But I’d rather it come from you. I want Jesus to know that you helped the church. Mom, I want you to end up in Heaven,” Nick said.
“Nick, I’ll end up in Heaven. I’ve been a good person,” she said.
Nick thought about Jesus’ words, which indicated that it would be easier to squeeze a camel through a needle than to get a rich man into Heaven. His eyes welled up in tears again. Over the next hour, neither said much, as he reflected on the situation and their lives and fates in silence.
An hour later, he thought to text his friends, telling them that he wouldn’t be able to make it out that night. “Got some very bad news today,” he wrote, “Maybe another time.”
“I’ve gotta pray alone,” he thought. “She might freak out if she knows what I’m saying.”
His mom was still sitting in silence on the couch when he announced, “Mom, I’m going to take a shower.” He got up from the couch and left the family room and headed up to his room. But he couldn’t take a shower since that required some energy and he was drained. Plunking down on his bed, he prayed once again.
***
Later that night, Nick found himself deep in prayer. He was lying on his bed, under his covers with his eyes closed as he concentrated on what he’d determined would be his most important prayer to the Lord.
“Jesus, thank you for the many blessings you’ve given me. Most especially, thank you for giving me the mother you chose for me. She’s always helped me and encouraged me and directed me along almost all of the right paths. She’s instilled a strong work ethic and good moral principles. I know she doesn’t believe in you right now, but if you give her a little more time, I’ll convince her. Just give me the right words to say.” Nick took a deep breath and tried to empty his mind of any random thoughts.
A picture of Jesus came to mind. It was a picture that had been painted by an artistic child prodigy named Akiane at the age of eight based on a vision she’d had in which she was with Jesus in Heaven. The picture became a sensation when the little boy who inspired the book “Heaven Is For Real” endorsed it based on his own supernatural experience in Heaven with Jesus. Nick found the picture on the internet and it was now etched in his mind. Jesus’ thick mane of brown, wavy hair and emerald eyes were vivid and central to the picture, which if brought to life would light up the world.
Nick prayed and felt his body become lighter as it freed itself of his fear and pain. A peaceful feeling overcame him and he realized that he was in a state that he knew he’d been pursuing all of his life. He’d struggled to capture the same feeling while drinking beers, but that buzz was dwarfed by the inner sense of peace he was experiencing in the present moment. Airy and free, he felt relaxed and still as he relished his new meditational state, which soon put him to sleep.