Imagine Yourself as a House
Rejection. It was something Braedon had never experienced in his love life, yet Catherine had succeeded in blowing him off. The church. Also something he hadn’t experienced. He hadn’t been to church in years, but something made him want to go to church that Sunday morning. Was it the rejection or maybe just guilt? Or could it have been a response to his daughter’s question to him about going to church? He didn’t know. His mind was too clouded to figure out the answers to those questions and his body felt like a hollow shell, devoid of any meaningful purpose.
He’d always lusted for power and money and control over his life and had spent the past few decades focusing on his body, building and shaping it into his castle, so impressive and beautiful that any woman he’d ever wanted practically fell at his feet. They fought over him when he was young. Fought. Tricia, who was extremely beautiful when younger, won that battle and he stayed faithful to her for many years, until he met Catherine. Catherine was a widow in her forties and should have been an easy target, but she rejected him and shattered the castle and broke him. Why? What did he do wrong?
He sat himself in a seat in front of the choir and quietly waited for the service to begin. Braedon Ramsey didn’t know what to expect, barely recalling the last time he’d stepped into a church. Probably someone’s wedding.
But something inside of him nagged at him. He felt the need to do something different in his life and his wife’s influence led him to the church. Being in the church that morning just seemed right. He’d started to have second thoughts about the way he’d been treating their marriage and felt guilty and mean for devising evil ways to make her disappear in his mind.
He couldn’t hurt her; she was the mother to his children and she was kind and sweet. And he’d been unkind to her and abusive, but that was all about to end. Things were going to change for the better. He pictured her on their wedding day with her big warm smile.
“You know. She really doesn’t even need make-up; her complexion is perfect. And she isn’t really fat. Just a little heavier than I’d like.”
The choir and the singers filed in and positioned themselves in the choir stands. No sign of Tricia. Yet.
She’d taken the kids to an earlier service and he expected to see her in the choir of the current service, but he didn’t. Maybe she was teaching one of the Sunday school classes. He didn’t know. His kids often went to back-to-back Sunday school classes to accommodate both her teaching and choir duties in the church, which extended over two services at 9 and 11 a.m.
He hadn’t spoken to Catherine since that early morning jog, save for a few text messages the following week. She had mentioned work, but little else. He realized that she was blowing him off when she stopped returning his text messages at the end of the week. It was shocking, but maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Maybe he needed to focus on his own family.
He turned his attention to the choir, sans Tricia. “Maybe she’s teaching the Sunday school class now. That must be it. I must have mixed up her schedule.”
The singers stood up and began singing songs of joy and praise, uplifting the congregation surrounding him. Braedon was impressed. He didn’t expect to see people excited in the church. This church was different from the somber one he recalled from his childhood and he liked this church much better. It made him feel good. The words of the song, “How Great is Our God,” from Chris Tomlin streamed across a flat screen television.
After the songs ended, the pastor stepped up to the stage in a crisply ironed greyish button-down shirt and a darker pair of dress pants. He welcomed newcomers and thanked the church members. Then he started his sermon, which was about gaining God’s favor.
“God favors those who are humble, broken, and contrite in spirit and he even says that brokenness should be a regular condition. This concept is explained well by C.S. Lewis in his book Mere Christianity, which I’ll paraphrase for you from my memory.”
He paused and looked over the congregation, catching Braedon’s eyes. “Imagine yourself as a house. God helps you to fix its drains, repair its cracks, and refurbish its appliances. You needed this help, so you’re not surprised. But imagine your surprise when God starts knocking down walls, putting in new kitchens and baths, and adding bedrooms and room additions. It hurts abominably and you wonder what on earth he’s up to. You thought you were going to be a decent little cottage. But he had plans for a palace, one in which He plans to live himself. You see, he wants you to be perfect, just as he is perfect, and humble and kind, just as he is humble and kind.”
“Jesus wanted his early disciples to be perfect too, and they encountered numerous challenges along their pathway to God. Early Christian teachings were considered blasphemous to Jews, Romans, Greeks, and others practicing other religions, so many early Christians were stoned and martyred in brutal ways. Saul’s story from the Book of Acts provides one example. Saul started off as a Christian persecutor and the Bible tells us that he witnessed the stoning of the first Christian martyr, Stephen, who was a man full of God’s grace and power. While Stephen was being stoned by his persecutors, he looked up to Heaven and ‘saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God’ (Acts 6:8; Acts 7:56).”
“Next, the Bible tells us that Saul was travelling down a road to Damascus with plans to identify and murder Christians who were following the Way. He was struck down by a light from Heaven as he heard a voice say, ‘Saul, Saul, why do you persecute me?’ He asked, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ The voice said, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting’ (Acts 9: 4-6). Saul was blinded for three days at which time he fasted. When his sight was restored by God, he became one of the Lord’s greatest disciples, going on to write half of the books of the New Testament. Saul became known by his Roman name, Paul, and traveled to many countries, spreading God’s message. He endured numerous beatings, snake bites, floggings, shipwrecks, and eventually a beheading, yet never feared, for he knew his efforts to spread the good news of Jesus Christ weren’t in vain.”
“Paul’s experiences were similar to Jesus’ other disciples’ experiences; most encountered brutal persecutions and deaths. Yet they willingly accepted their fates because they had witnessed Jesus’ death, resurrection, and ascension into Heaven. They had also received the power of the Holy Spirit soon after his ascension. Had the apostles not seen Jesus after his death, they would have undoubtedly remained huddled up in their homes in hiding, which is where they retreated in fear for three days when Jesus was crucified.”
“Fellow Christians, these passages tell us that Heaven is real, and worth it, worth brutal earthly fates fighting for Jesus. Paul’s experiences also suggest that God forgives and accepts even some of the worst sinners, so long as they repent and devote their lives to him and accept Jesus as their Savior.”
“Let us pray.”
The church prayed along with the pastor who soon ended the service. Then its attendees strolled out of the church and into the parking lot.
Braedon waited in line for the pastor who was shaking hands with the churchgoers in front of one of the three sets of double doors. The other churchgoers appeared warm, yet unfamiliar, which surprised Braedon since he’d spent most of his life in Orange Bay. He scanned the crowd again and this time spotted the son. “What was his name?” The son looked like a young version of him with dark hair, gelled and styled, a tall muscular frame, and a confident stride. Good looking kid. The son looked at him before walking away.
“As if he didn’t see me.”
His attention turned to the pastor. As he studied him, he determined that that he was a kind man, full of knowledge and wit. His dark brown hair was sprinkled with grey and generously framed his chunky round face and weak chin. Standing just under six feet tall, he was broad shouldered and a little stocky with a belly that gripped the bottom of his shirt just over his belt. After a handful of attendees shook the pastor’s hand, it was Braedon’s turn, so he grabbed the pastor’s hand tightly and thanked him. The pastor looked at him warmly and said, “Thank you for coming! God bless you.”
“Your sermon today helped me and I just want to say thanks.”
The pastor said, “Braedon, God worked through me today to get to you.”
Tears came into Braedon’s eyes. “How did you know my name?”
“How do you think?”
Braedon smiled. “Wow. I’ll be back next week.”
He thought of heading over to the Sunday school classrooms in the large building next door to the church to meet up with his wife and daughters, but realized that he didn’t know where they were. They’d probably be gone before he got there anyway. He’d just go home and tell his wife about his visit to the church.
As he drove, he reflected on the sermon, focusing most closely on Paul and the apostles. “Heroes. True heroes. Brave and fearless.”
A sense of peace soon came over him and he felt a calmness that he’d never felt before. The empty shell of a body he’d been occupying was empty no more.
“Please forgive me Lord. I’ll change. I promise.”
When he got home, he changed into his comfortable clothes and kicked off his shoes before strolling over to his favorite chair in the family room. A Bible in the bookshelf caught his eye, so he grabbed it just before sitting down.
“They should be home any time now.”
He couldn’t wait to see them to tell them about his day in the church. Couldn’t wait. And while he waited for them, he’d read a few Bible passages. So much learning to do.