Starlet is lying on the carpet in the office, watching an episode of Friends on TV. “Grandma,” she calls.
“Yes, sugar,” Lady responds while resting on her rocking chair. She has thick glasses on and doing some accounting using a calculator.
“Am I as pretty as my mum?”
“Much prettier,” Lady responds while still typing on the calculator. “She was really pretty too; many men loved her. But you, with your gorgeous, green eyes, is something else.”
“Grandma.”
“Yes, sugar.”
“Did mommy ever find love? I mean in here.”
“Of course you will. Wait until September 11, and I promise that love will find you. I’m gonna have all the men in this city lined up in front of this house just to buy one hour of love with you. You’re gonna be the star of this city. You’re gonna be a legend.”
“Thanks, grandma. But… But I am thinking other than sex, more like romantic love, like when you go to romantic dates, like what Ross and Rachel have.”
Lady gets alarmed. She stops typing on the calculator, takes the glasses off, and takes a serious look at Starlet.
“David Schwimmer and Jennifer Aniston also fuck all the time, they just cannot show the good stuff on TV. A romance starts with a kiss and ends with your orgasm if he doesn’t come first. There is nothing more to it, nothing. That is just basic science. Trust me on that. And you are gonna get all that here, but you know, more compressed, more time-efficient. You don’t have to waste your time waiting for an empty table in a fancy restaurant, then spend hours listening to the bullshit that the guy makes up just to fuck you for free. The cheap bastards don’t want to pay the full price, so only pay for dinner, and pay the rest by their bullshitting. But not here, not at Lady’s House. Here girls are protected from opportunistic free-riders. They all pay in full, and they all pay in cash.”
“But Ginger says she hasn’t met anybody handsome for a long time. They are all old and ugly.”
Lady puts the glasses on and goes back to typing on the calculator.
“That is because the young ones have not made any money yet to pay for it. They have no choice but wandering around like a jackal, hoping to find a dump girl, fool her with their bullshit, and get laid without paying for it. But lucky for you, you have the grandma who imparts her wisdom, and protects you from those cultures, I mean vultures.”
Lady takes the glasses off again, leans towards Starlet, and says with a confident tone: “Wait, just wait until September 11, and you will see how much money you will make for yourself and me. You wouldn’t have to work for the rest of your life, no more cleaning shit, no more washing shit. You would just relax, enjoy life, and rule the men like a queen. Don’t you like that, sugar?”
Starlet wishfully stares at Rachel and Ross kissing each other on TV. “Yeah, I guess so,” she responds hesitantly, “thanks, grandma.”