One of my NASA buddies handed me something that resembled a surgical mask.
“You might want to put this on,” he said.
“What’s it for?” I asked, “and please don’t tell me it’s another need to know.”
“You’ll find out soon enough, smart ass. Just put it on and don’t remove it until you’re told. You’ll be wise to follow my advice. This is as far as we go. Have a nice trip,” he sarcastically added.
Hey dude, why the sarcasm? No doubt it’s another ‘need to know’. I never did get either of their names. I didn’t know it at the time, but I would be seeing them again.
I noticed Monroe put a mask on too. I would discover later that our future siblings were susceptible to ancient smells and germs, especially from primitive kinfolk.
Hey, it wasn’t my fault that I hadn’t showered or brushed my teeth that day or the day before, and maybe even the day before that. Things had been moving so fast that hygiene was put on the back burner and the least of my concerns.
An entrance suddenly appeared in the dome and Monroe stepped out.
Please follow me, and watch where you step, he said.
He led the way down a flight of narrow and steep slippery stairs that led to another room. There was condensation everywhere. The adjourning room was smaller than the cavern we had just left. It was filled with all types of lighted panels, flashing every color imaginable as it emitted creepy sounds. It looked to be something right out of a scary Frankenstein movie.
Entering the room I got hit with a God awful odor. It was the same type smell Missouri gets when the west winds blow from Kansas.
Yes, I could smell it through the mask.
“Shit!,” I said.
Are you required to relieve yourself? Monroe asked.
That may be a good idea, since it has been awhile and I have no idea when I may be near a john again, I replied.
Who might John be? He asked.
Just another ancient expression. A place to get relief can be called a john, a bathroom, a restroom, an outhouse, or a loo, among a few others and depending on which culture or time a person’s from.
I suppose being of a future generation would make it difficult to understand so many different expressions having the same meaning. Apparently Monroe hadn’t kept up on his English lessons, or idioms are no longer used in the future.
After visiting the John, (yes mom, I washed my hands) Monroe led me down another narrow and dimly lighted passageway. This place was getting creeper by the minute.
We emerged into a humongous room at the base of the volcano. As I looked up, I could see the night stars emerging through the opening at the top. Millions upon millions of stars were dancing the two-step in the night sky. I stood there in admiration of the astonishing display of shooting stars. It reminded me of the times I had spent on the USS Hancock flight deck when we were in the middle of the ocean.
I looked around the room and saw another amazing sight. A flying saucer was parked in the middle of the room. That’s really the only way I could describe it. It had to be as big as a football field. It was grayish in color and was suspended in the air about two feet from the ground. It had strobe lights at the top and at the bottom. An entryway was open and a walkway extended to the ground. There was a constant humming reverberation that tickled my senses. The size and sight of the ship left me in a trance.
Monroe snapped me back to reality when he explained that they had established an operations base at the bottom of the island’s biggest volcano. Being from the future, they knew it would not erupt anytime in their time line. Easter Island was safe and secure, and was their only time entry base.
Their main time craft was called the mother ship. Now why are ships always referred in the female gender? I guess we’ll have to look that up on the internet someday.
The mother ship carried smaller craft in compartments on her outside hull that were miniature versions of the mother ship. The smaller craft could also travel to different time quantum’s but were mainly used to travel around the globe, once they had entered a conciliatory time quantum.
Most UFOs observed were probably the smaller craft. They always travelled in a tight formation of three. Why three? Need to know and you are not cleared for that information. Got’cha!
Most abductees would be taken to the mother ship for their examinations and gene enhancements. Don’t ask how, Monroe didn’t explain. Most likely, another need to know.
Monroe mentioned that I had been on the mother ship twice before.
How about that, Charlie Brown! Claudia was right!
Of course, it wasn’t by choice and I wasn’t given a tour either time onboard.
As I passed through the mother ship entry door, Monroe directed me to a small room that resembled a shower. I was instructed to remove my mask, undress and step into the compartment. A fine sweet smelling mist sprayed my body. Monroe explained the mist sanctified my primitive germs and odor. A pullover one piece gray metallic cloth outfit, similar to the one Monroe was wearing, was waiting for me when I stepped out of the shower.
We made our way to the cockpit (flight deck, to be politically correct). The ceiling and walls gave an optical illusion of blending together as one. The room was round with two large cushioned chairs positioned on a small platform in the middle of the room. The chairs arms had all sorts of strange little gadgets attached to it. The outer walls were covered with all sorts of flat screen monitors and panels flashing all sorts of colored lights. Beneath some of the panels were high back chairs that were secured to the floor. There were holograms stranded in mid air throughout the room. Gene Roddenberry must have been an abductee too.
There were several other beings present, but Monroe didn’t bother with introductions. Most likely they were not relatives. Two were completely different than Monroe. Their human form more closely resembled our generation. They had perfectly proportional bodies. One that you would imagine for an Olympic athlete. Their faces had distinct features with unblemished olive complexions. Both were extra ordinarily graceful, beautiful and illustrated a frank, but gentle expression. They had mid length blond-white hair and deep blue sea eyes. Both stood well above Monroe. In fact, they were slightly taller than my six-foot frame. They wore a one piece uniform that fit tightly to their body. Each carried what appeared to be a weapon strapped to their waist.
One was definitely female. Her uniform left no doubt about that. I was hypnotized by her unique beauty and sexuality. She observed my stare and enchantment, and gave me a smile that radiated calmness, gentleness, and goodness. I could have been imagining it, but I swear she gave me a wink to boot.
Monroe brought me back to reality when I heard his dissatisfied grunt. He was probably reading my exotic thoughts.
Genetically engineered warriors to enforce and protect social order, he explained.
Yeah, she could spank me, I thought.
That thought brought another grunt and throat clearing from my grandson. I’m beginning to wonder if we have the same genes.
I was to find out later that the genetic enhancements also made the warriors highly sexual beings. I bet you can’t wait to get to that part of the story!
After I recovered from my trance, I continued to survey the flight deck. I noticed some of the panels were similar as those in the small room we had passed through at the base of the volcano. The writings and symbols on the panels were Greek to me, except for the biggest panel which displayed two dates and time that I could identify. The first was today’s date, 10/12, 1978, 2307 hours. The other date read: 10/12, 2191, 2307.
“Holy Cow,” I gasped.
I hadn’t realized it was Columbus day. The date America was discovered. Can you believe this, I will be discovering the future on this same date.
I have not the meaning of your words, Holy Cow. Please define? I heard Monroe ask.
Another confusing idiom for him. How to explain this one?
It is an expression of surprise, I said.
What is your surprise? He asked.
It’s my daughter’s birthday and the day Columbus discovered America. Come on Monroe, didn’t you pass your history lesson?
BACK IN TIME
I got the globe, yeah, in the palm of my hand. Wherever I spin it, that’s where I land.—Pitbull
It is time to depart. Please take a seat and fasten the seat belt. It is still the law, Monroe said.
Yes siree Bob, I replied.
Who might Bob be? Monroe asked, confused by yet another idiom.
You know, that’s a good question, Monroe. I have no idea who Bob might be. It’s just another ole English expression, and I don’t know exactly where it came from, I replied.
It occurred to me that it might be interesting to find out how some of these idioms originated. That’s why I have included an Appendix at the end of my story on Idioms. You might want to stick around and read them.
My blood pressure spiked as the female warrior approached, still smiling, as she bent over to help strap me in.
“Hello,” I said. “ My name is...”
She quickly put one hand over my mouth and gestured with the other for me to be silent.
“S-h-h-h. Names are forbidden,” she whispered in my ear.
I really didn’t comprehend what she said because her cleavage put a strain on my eyes and a bulge in my pants. When her hand brushed my leg, sparks flew from her fingertips and zapped me right between my legs.
“Whoa! Strap me in and fire up the flux capacitor Doc, cause here I come,” I shouted, without thinking.
Monroe furrowed his brow, shook his head, and gave me another disgusting look. He must have thought I had a one-track mind.
Hey man, mine still works, eat your heart out, I thought.
I probably should not have thought that, as I felt pressure building inside my head. It felt like he might be trying to fry my brain.
This type of communications was getting to be a pain in the neck, but I thought it might be best not to think it or I’d just might get my marbles scrambled. There had be a way to block some thoughts, I figured, but Monroe just wasn’t wanting to tell me.
It occurred to me that I could just remove the helmet when I didn’t want him hearing me, but then, that would probably freak him out. Can’t have a freaked out grandson running around in a cramped up spaceship headed for the future.
Monroe pressed a large red button on the panel in front of him. I didn’t recognize the symbol above it, but I swore I heard Star Trek Captain Picard say, Engage.
I thought Monroe might be playing with my mind. He looked me right in the eye and gave me a shit-eating grin.
Oh my God! Suddenly I observed something that I hadn’t noticed before. Monroe had only three fingers and a thumb on each hand.
But before I could comprehend what I saw, I heard a loud hum and felt a sharp vibration. A tingling sensation covered my entire body and every hair stood straight up. In a blink of an eye, the date panels registered the same date. They both read October 12, 2191, 2307.
We’re there already? I thought, as my body settled back to normal.
Of course, Grandpa. Time travels fast when you are having fun. If you do not know where you are going, you might end up some place else! Monroe giggled.
Huh? Did I just hear the Aflac duck flapping it’s jaws? Or maybe the kid thinks he’s Yogi Berra. Seems like he has developed a sense of humor, I thought.
Gotcha, Grandpa.
When we emerged from the mother ship, I felt a high, like two sheets to the wind. I had no idea time travel would provide such a buzz. But then, I had no idea I’d ever be going time traveling. I thought maybe I should do this more often.
Stepping out of the craft, I got a little woozy, like I might have had one too many rum and Cokes during the trip. It took me several minutes to get my feet on the ground. When I did, I noticed that we were in the same room at the base of the volcano. I looked up to see the same display of stars. They were still doing the two step. It appeared we hadn’t gone anywhere.
Son of a gun. How could that be? I wondered.
My doubts about this whole situation returned. Was I being played for a fool?
This could have been the biggest elaborate practical joke ever played on a sucker like me. After all, it had been said that one was born every minute. This could be the joke that had the whole world laughing. So why was I crying? There had to be a Candid Camera around here somewhere.
I am unfamiliar with Son of a gun, but you are no fool Grandpa, Monroe said. Of course we are in the same room.
Hey. Get off the grandpa kick. I’m only thirty-five. Let’s just stick with Tom and Monroe, I thought.
As you wish, Tom.
I must have hurt his feelings cause he sounded hurt and got a sad look on his face.
We travel from time to time, not place to place. The ship stays in the same location, only in different time quantum’s. Transport technology has not yet been invented to travel from location to location, Monroe explained.
Duh! Stupid me. How was I to know that Scotty hadn’t been born yet, I thought.
Who is Scotty?
You don’t know Scotty of Star Trek?
Then I remembered. Star Trek was a Sci-Fi show. Forget it, Monroe. I was just thinking out loud.
He probably doesn’t understand how I could think out loud either.
We may have been in the same room at the base of the volcano, but it now had a far more sophisticated and futuristic appearance. There was even a R2D2-Star Wars type robot device scooting around the room. “Beep beep.”
We should be on our way. Your brother is waiting, Monroe said, as he led me to one of the smaller craft parked near the mother ship.
Waiting for what? I wondered.
The Kid was about to fall into a nightmare.