Chapter Eighteen
I'll always remember the day she left. It was the same day I sent Apollo to the Orphanage. "If he can't stay here, then I can't stay here!" Every ounce of me wanted to reason with her, convince her to stay, but I know Sabrina would never relent, not this time. I still feel her shoving me out of the way, "You never once thought about me, or him!"
Almost a year passed before I saw her again. Even though I searched for her, it was always in vain. I'm convinced she had to be at that dive bar with her psycho father. Then the next spring arrived and word came that she was applying for the teaching position at the school. So instantly, I went to see her and the sight I found is forever burned in my memory.
Her back was to me, and she was holding a baby, swinging it in her arms like she used to do with Apollo. I remember feeling the urge to turn back but then seeing her eyes on mine, and I was hopelessly drawn to her, like always. Her smile beckoned to me too, like always, but this time instead of warmth, it burned me with betrayal. "Oriah..." But I didn't let her finish. I just blurted out the only thing on my mind,
"Who is the father?"
So now, it's took fifteen years for her to finally give me an answer. And for some reason I still lash out, like it was that day, long ago, "You sure it's wasn't a Corsair soldier?" Sabrina erupts in a tantrum, "Oriah, you know me! Do you really think there was ever anyone else?" I reach out for her but I don't get her embrace, only more bitterness, "I thought, you, of all people, would have figured it out! But no, you're still too busy trying to be that little boy, trying to live up to his mother!"
What little pride or dignity I had left, just lay dead from those words. And deep down, I know she's right. "Well, what about them? Do they know?" Sabrina quickly answers, "No," and I sense her get closer, so I reach out. My fingers find her face and I try to imagine what her expression looks like as I stroke her soft cheek. I find wet lines left by her tears, "If only it could be as it once was." I say it before I even realize, but instantly I don't regret it, it's exactly how I feel. Then I feel her pull away and the sound of her footsteps travel across the room.
"You know Oriah, when you took him away, I needed to get as far away from you as possible. I did go stay with my father. He's the one who taught me how to block you out, because that was the only way I could come back. I had to be with my sons in peace, without you."
I start to hear her slowly walk towards me, "But even then, your voice was still in my head. At first, I thought it was you, that you had some way of getting through. After a while though, I realized it was only remnants of you, memories of the years of manipulation. You haunted me, Oriah."
"No.." I try to speak but she doesn't let me, "It will never be as it once was! Just mark it up to another one of your precious sacrifices! I really hope you can live with the cost of it all, Oriah, because you deserve it!" Then her feet echo towards the door. She stops and says one last thing to me, almost like a wish, "I hope my voice haunts you now!" I hear the door slam shut, and my heart tells me her wish was definitely granted.
The next morning I lie in my bed not wanting to move, not wanting last night to be real. I appreciate Sabrina's rant in its effectiveness, because it feels like that day she didn't come back. I had this fantasy that one day, maybe she might forgive me, but now I know that's never going to happen. She has two fatherless sons she can blame me for.
Then I hear something that's like an answer to an unspoken prayer, "The preparations for the ceremony have been delayed, due to the heavy rain." I can't mistaken that voice, "You just don't know how good it is to hear your voice, Nathan."
"Wow Oriah, you haven't called me that in years."
"Well it's your name, it's what Mom called you and it's what I should have called you. I'm so sorry." I feel his hand over mine, "Sorry for what Oriah? I like who I am. It's you and me, remember?" I know if I still had my eyes, tears would be fighting to fall, "Yeah, I remember." Then Nathan nudges me, "Well then get up! We have a party to prepare for!" He swings my feet over toward the floor and I question his urgency, "I thought you said it was delayed due to the weather?"
"Well, we still have to instruct them on what to do, what to expect. I'll go wake Apollo. Is Solomon here or.." I quickly interrupt him. I don't think I could even bear hearing her name right now, "She's going to handle all of that. They're both with her."
"Well we'll just go over there."
"No, I don't think that's a good idea."
"Well why not?"
"She doesn't want to see me."
I explain to Nathan what happened last night and I don't do it in words. I convey scenes directly to him and immediately, I feel his empathy, "Well, that certainly explains the rain. I'll go talk to her. I have a way with her."
I don't object and when Nathan leaves for her house, I lie back on the bed. Her house isn't far from here, so I must be quick. It's a good thing it's much easier to relax this time. The soft mattress is a far cry from the stone floor of that Corsair prison cell where I followed Apollo all those weeks. I make myself comfortable and within minutes, I channel myself through, just in time to see Nathan approach Sabrina's door.
"I'm here to talk to Solomon, his Ascension training begins in a couple of days and I would like to augment his preparation, with your permission of course." Nathan's smile doesn't have the effect he hoped for and Sabrina just give him an impassive stare. "Sabrina, I swear I'm here on my own accord." She finally returns his smile, "Okay then, come on in. I'm glad to see you well, Nathan."
Immediately, he questions the quiet house, "Where's Solomon?" and Sabrina answers with the obvious, "They're not here." Nathan laughs, and you can detect a slight hint of anxiety, "Okay, well where are they?" Sabrina's voice changes in tone when she replies. It sounds like she's annoyed, "You know, you're only making this worse." Nathan tries to reassure her, "Sabrina I told you, I'm here on my own.."
"I'm not talking to you!"
Her voice booms and I know now who it's directed at. "You must really think I'm a fool! I want both of you out of my house, now!" Sabrina composes herself before addressing Nathan directly, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath, "Nathan, Solomon will be there with the rest of the students, tomorrow. We will see you then." She then walks over and opens the front door, gesturing Nathan to step through and he does, quietly. As soon as he's out, the bang of the door slams shut, ringing in his ears. He gets back in his car, and as he drives back down the road, he sends a thought out to me, I'm sorry Oriah.
Suddenly, I'm distracted by a voice, wake up!" Immediately, the sensation of Apollo standing over me inundates my senses. I surprised by the openness of his thoughts and I get a piece of a conversation between him and ARIES. Then he speaks, "I thought what you said about forces beyond our walls that I had yet to understand. So I did some research, and it seems most information about anything other than the Corsair, is conveniently not stored in ARIES' memory. It's in yours."
As soon as the words hit me, Apollo shuts me out again, making me cringe from the now throbbing headache. He continues to talk, "I want to show you something." I snap back, "You can't show me anything, I'm blind." He returns my contempt, "And I'm fully aware of that. Seriously, do you want me to trust you or not?"
I don't say a word, I just follow him all the way to our destination. The sweet, musty smell of old books mingled with birch tells me we're in the library. That's when I hear Solomon's voice, "Everything's ready, I think." I want to inquiry what's going on but Apollo talks before I can, "Just sit and try to relax." I find one of the recliners and lie back. I feel someone removing the bandages from my face and the next thing I hear is Apollo speaking out as if he's speaking to a room full of people, "Okay ARIES, start the program." Suddenly I feel something burn my face as searing pain tears through my head. I groan in agony, but eventually that pain is replaced with a warming sensation, almost like a hot, soothing bath. Next comes more pain, much sharper this time and the dark void around me is transformed into a bright, blinding light.
Then in an instant, everything fades back to complete darkness again and I hear ARIES, "Program complete. Procedure was successful." Before I can contemplate what just happened, I hear Apollo's voice, "Open your eyes." Then it dawns on me, my face feels normal, no pain and no discomfort. I do as he says and at first, I cringe from the glare. Then that's gradually replaced by the extraordinary sight of my two sons looking at me.
"We've been here since last night. I figured if she could fix me, she could fix you." I lie there in silent, but utter gratitude, lost for words. Then reluctantly, I turn to Solomon, "I'm sorry, I didn't know." But before I can gauge his reaction, Nathan walks in, "It worked!" I sit up and expect astonishment from him but all I get is something more like delight. "How did you know?"
"Wow, Oriah. You surprised I knew something you didn't?"
Then it occurs to me, I never even bothered to explore his thoughts this morning. I've always trusted Nathan, so I never have a reason to. "Are you ready?" He turns to Solomon and the boy replies with a nod. They walk back through the library and I hear Nathan preparing his new apprentice, "We have a lot of work ahead of us. The scheduling the staff of this place alone is a nightmare!" As they leave, I stand to embrace Apollo, but he surprises me yet again. This time not with his actions, but rather with words.
"Who is Prescott Cynric?”