CHUM by John T Buckley - HTML preview

Chapter 9

All the best lies are true

Jim was in a coma for a solid 2 months before they had to amputate his left leg and arm. Ben went there every single day to sit with him and hold his hand. The room was small; and it only had: the gold bed Jim was lying in, a wall TV with cartoons on (The adventures of Spacehog) and Jim’s, Jen’s, and Ben’s Oscars on the nightstand at the foot of the bed, and a round window facing the downtown L.A. area.

“Jim, I know it’s hard where you are, I know that better than anyone,” Ben cried as he looked up at Jim’s eyes, still no movement. “I will swear to you, if you can come out of it, THAT COMA. There’s something more here for you, something big. Just open your eyes and we’ll shoot the shit. Huh, a little jerk to jerk conversation, interested?” Ben asked tearfully with his mind searching for the answer from how he was broken from his OWN COMA, but finding nothing. “Come on now, Jim, they told me you can wake up any time you want! If you think you can, you will. Move back from the dreams, embrace the real ones instead, Jim,” Ben insisted tearfully as he held Jim’s right hand; and he sat there watching Jim’s eyes flutter. Ben knew Jim could die at any moment, if he gave up.

Ben got up slowly and kicked the edge of the bed (the gold bed jerking to the side due to Jim’s uneven weight on the right side). And Ben walked over to the window and looked out into the early morning fog (it danced in his memory from the first time he came to Hollywood, and saw it. He thought it was a harbinger of great things to come, but never this). He wished to god he could get Beth back for this-and he swore to himself and to Julie he would do just that-but he didn’t like the idea of prison. He looked down and the sun started shinning up over the buildings like rising stocks of corn. He knew then some dreams were too heavy to hold.

He felt a hand on his leg-jogging a memory loose of getting felt up once as a boy-and he turned to scream; until he saw Jim groggy eyed and smiling at him. ” I don’t need any eggs, you bum,” Jim effused sarcastically forcing his best glumly grin.

“JIM!” Ben cried as he rubbed his own back and then forehead. “Whoa, Man, I am happy you made it out. Thanks for joining the party you dick,” Ben said enthusiastically as he hugged Jim (and never minded the tears he was getting on Jim’s cheek).

Jim smiled-like he’d always smiled when he was on top-but suddenly he realized he was missing his left arm and leg. He turned to that side of the bed and felt around; and then panicked and screamed as loud as dying banshees. He screamed so loud they could hear him 3 floors down.

“WHAT HAPPENED?!!” Jim screamed as he punched the bed. “What happened, GOD?! Aahh my life is over now, done, just done,” Jim cried with every word getting fainter and fainter. He cried dry tears and felt around his left shoulder with his right hand.

Ben stood there with his thoughts racing, as he had no idea what to say to him (thinking he was blowing it again like he’d done many times as a child). He knew anything-and everything on Earth-he did would be a lie. Ben walked around the bed blinking hard and breathing harder. He put his shaky fear filled hand on Jim’s chest and Jim’s eyes tore a hole through his.

“Jim, I’ll take care of you,” Ben urged as he choked up. “Don’t worry, robotic arms have touch sensitivity-” Ben said, but Jim grabbed a cup of apple juice off the table and tossed it over his head before he could finish. “They can do the same things, and look lifelike. No one will EVER, laugh at you, or I’ll fucking kill them. No ONE, Jim, NO one at all!” Ben said sharply after a moment, as Jim punched the wall behind him (his punches broke clean through to the other side). “Now let it all out right here and now. No more sorry for yourself tomorrow. That day’s taken,” Ben demanded sternly as he tried to stop his own tears, but they wouldn’t stop for trying.

Jim hit the bed hard with his right hand; and moaned with a lion’s agony. His eyes caught the 3 Oscars at the foot of the bed, and he froze. Ben looked at him unsure-fearing Jim was about to go completely nuts-as well as wondering why he had stopped. Ben spun around and saw the Oscars and his body froze (her, it was Jen he was going to ask about, he knew it).

“Where is she, Ben, JEN, WHERE?”

Ben used his acting training to not let on she was dead-as he wasn’t going to for a second take away Jim’s only hope, because he knew it would kill Jim-and Ben thought of old triumphs and focused on the emotion. Ben said hollowly” She’s at a photo shoot, she can’t make it for awhile.”

“You’re lying!” Jim barked angrily as he punched Ben in the leg. “I know when someone’s lying to me, Ben. I grew up with scoundrels, every fucking word they say is a lie,” said Jim angrily as he pushed Ben hard. “Is she dead, did he shoot her?” Jim asked defiantly as he tossed his pillow at the window; then glared at Ben like he was going to kill him (and Ben knew he could even without the use of all his limbs).

Ben took a quick glance at Jim; and then the air went out of his lungs-he wasn’t going to lie to him like this, not this way-and he nodded yes. Jim tried to scream, but his vocals cords were too dry and flinched on him. He looked at his missing arm and leg-his thoughts of running down at Santa Monica beach with Jen, crushing him now-and he pointed Ben towards the door and threw a pillow at him.

“Jim, come on now,” begged Ben halfheartedly as he thought what if it were me, then what.

“JUST GET OUT!!” Jim screamed as he pushed Ben away from him. “I won’t be here when you come back. You owe me tha…” Jim demanded as his voice cracked on that, and his lip quivered (and Ben knew he was going to kill himself the second he left).

Ben stood there immobile for a few seconds. Then Jim slapped him hard on the arm-this time harder than before-and Ben looked at Jim like he was already gone. Ben shrugged his shoulders; and walked over and grabbed his Oscar. Ben looked back at Jim one last time, and walked out.

“Damn it!” Ben shouted angrily as he kicked a trash can; and then threw an empty gurney out of his way. He walked down the hall and heard the alarms go off in Jim’s room. After Jim had grabbed Jen’s Oscar off the end of the bed; he pulled the breathing tube and IV drip out of his body, for good. He swiftly went into cardiac arrest as nurses raced to his room; but before they could get there, he used the head of her Oscar to crush in his own throat-by thrusting it through with both hands (he knew there was no saving him then, and he died like he deserved to, on his own terms).

Ben walked down the hall angry beyond belief-he had more than tears to contend with-he knew then he had lost the only true friend he had in the world.

“Are you Ben Train?” Zach Kipo asked timidly-Zach who was a small red haired boy fresh off the bus with his mother Marlene-while Zach offered Ben a sheet of yellow paper (Zach’s report card that year 4 A’s and a B). Zach touched Ben’s hand, and at first he didn’t feel it, but then he looked down and said WHAT DID YOU SAY but didn’t hear his own words.

“What?”

“Are you Ben Train the actor?” Zach asked.

“Not today, Kid,” Ben snapped sharply, as he walked out of the waiting room; and then out into the final few feet of hospital. He saw a trash can to his right; and tossed his Oscar inside without breaking stride. He walked out: got in his limo, and said nothing to Julie then-or ever again-about Jim. Julie knew not to ask, so she buried it away, but she knew Jim was dead the following day after reading the Hollywood Insider. She didn’t ask where Ben was going the day of Jim’s funeral, she already knew. Half the town came out; said nice things and put flowers on the casket (Ben paid for the funeral. Beth was not invited, but tried to crash it anyway before being removed).

Then Ben spent the next few months working like crazy. He was promoting a new film about a Swedish guitar player-Yars Vindleneck-who goes on to kill his bass player in the middle of a performance. He knew this was the sort of work that would get him praise, but he wanted that podium and his moment. He thought of winning the Oscar more than a little, which was all the time. And when he got the Oscar nod, he was overjoyed and elated.

Ben sat in a movie theater in Beverly Hills (Trident Cinema) hidden in the back row under a blue trench coat. It was Oscar Sunday; and he was hiding out until it was time to go (he’d gotten nominated without a second of griping from anyone which was rare). He watched the science fiction movie Grip of Easy; and drank beers he had smuggled in using secret pockets in his trench coat.

“God this movie is bad,” Ben muttered as he lurked forward (he half expected the movie to skip to the end about then). “I can’t take this shit, I’m outta here,” Ben growled angrily as he watched a plastic looking alien smash into a moving wall. He got up and ducked out the backdoor, into the alley. He looked up, and saw Paul Jance smiling at him. “Paul,” he said.

Paul was all of 5 foot 4 inches tall and wide at the shoulders like a running back (he detested all sports though, unless he was drunk or high). His hair was white with a streak of black down both sides (made you take a second look if you saw him drive by). He had on a tan fisherman’s jacket; and denim shorts with the words I GAVE HER HALF, HALF MY GRAVESITE, WHAT? that was sewn down his left leg.

“Hey, Ben, funny meeting you here,” Paul said coyly-knowing he was there the whole time, even telling the extras watching the movie to be quiet throughout-and he grinned and watched Ben walk over to him.

“The porno theater was closed today, Paul?”

“Not if you pay in joy juice,” Paul answered with a wink. “Hey aren’t you going to get ready for the Oscar’s tonight?” Paul asked with his shirt bothering him enough to pull it out and then tuck it back in. ”I would if I were you, Ben.”

Ben looked down, his head moving like an elephant’s trunk. Paul walked over and put his hands on Ben’s shoulders, and Ben looked up.

“Yeah…I’ll be there to see it all again,” Ben confessed sadly as he kicked a small rock up against the tan mortar walls of the theater. “Crazy thing though I…,” Ben muttered as he tried to clear his mind of all the thoughts from last year.

“What is?”

“Walking down that aisle,” Ben admitted sadly looking at Paul now. “I watched a friend die there, and another died in the sewage of a hospital while I joked around. They were good people, Paul, better than any of us. You don’t think that bitch Beth will be there do you?” Ben asked as he strolled out of the alley with Paul beside him: Paul had his arm around his waist.

“I don’t know, but probably,” Paul replied with a wry smirk that lit up the world. “She did a hell of a job with that love story. I hate to say that-because she’s the biggest bastard there is-but she did. So don’t count on her missing it. Ya know you might want to play a couple holes of golf to calm your nerves?” Paul asked coyly, as he motioned to his driver to open the limousine door for them.

Ben walked up to the limo-and was about to get in-when Beth drove by flipping him the bird. She cackled and swerved in and out of several cars in the wrong lane (Ben wished one of them would take her out, but none did, unfortunately).

“Man, that heartless bitch,” Ben said darkly as his eyes went blank to what he was watching. “Taunting me on the day of the Oscars,” said Ben in disbelief. “Ya know there’s something different about her since it happened. I can’t put my finger on it, but something,” Ben said as he watched Beth driving away-seeing only the worst of her in his mind-as he glared at her. He got into the limo with Paul holding his head; and slid over to the window seat.

“Ah, yeah about that,” Paul said reluctantly.

Ben looked at him with suspicious angry eyes. ” What, Paul?” asked Ben.

Paul squirmed in his seat-unsure if it would be helping anything by telling him the truth-and then looked straight ahead as he saw the driver listening in. Paul leaned forward and closed the window between the front seat, and the back.

“You didn’t hear it from me, but I hear things,” Paul said as he smiled-a smile that meant he loved sticking it to Beth-and he put his arm around Ben. “I heard Beth paid someone to kill you, and Jim got in the way,” Paul said as he looked out the window. Ben sat there looking forward and thinking of bashing Beth’s head in.

“Oh my god, I never would have thought it,” Ben said in disbelief. “I mean, yes it makes perfect sense. That said, what about Jen, Paul?” Ben asked breaking into quick bursts of laughter and coughing; and he grabbed hold of Paul’s arm when he wouldn’t answer him.

Paul pulled out a cigar and lit it. He took two slow drags and offered it to Ben (who he knew didn’t smoke, but he liked corrupting people). ” It was Laron; he killed her because she found out about his secret pleasure chamber. He paid the same man to do it too. Ya know he’s got more than a few people down there in that chamber,” Paul said. “And he doesn’t fancy prison or some tart holding sway over his life. You deserved to know.”

Ben punched the roof of the limo hard twice; and then punched his own palm so hard it left a red dent. He was certain now what had to be done. He said flatly” I’m going to kill them, Paul, both of them.”

“I know, but why bother?” Paul asked, breaking into a spurt of wincing as he did. “Laron’s been good to us both, and he did get you that stage, lest we forget. Now if you wanna go high and mighty, I got some water needs walking on. Otherwise, you say and do nothing. And you get to live another day,” Paul continued as he sucked away on his cigar. ”And I get to keep a dear friend of mine alive.”

“I tell you what though, I won’t say anything about this,” Ben declared as he sat facing Paul; as he now had his finger pointing at him. “But if you hear Beth was shot, and Laron fell off a bridge,” Ben growled as he tapped Paul on the chest. ”Then maybe you forgive an old friend his payback.”

“Duly noted,” Paul answered with a voice without a hint of conviction, but all the give up in the world. “Well, then why don’t we go wrestle up some drugs? I’m too sober for all this shit,” Paul said as he rubbed his chest-knowing Ben and the things he was capable of-as he mouthed the word OWW and blinked his eyes a few times. He knew there was no point trying to dissuade Ben. And he secretly knew Beth and Laron had it coming to them (for a good long while now).

They drove across town; and they hooked up with a drug dealer operating out of a toy store. Once they had their fuel; they went over to Ben’s and gathered up his tux. Julie was already dressed-sensing the whole world would want to know what she was wearing (being Mrs. Ben Train and all)-and she was ready for the big night.

“Ben, when you win-and you’re GOING TO,” Julie insisted as she fussed with her train. “Will you please mention my mother? She would love it,” Julie said warmly, as she sat cross legged beside Ben on one side of the bed, and Paul on the other.

They took a different route to the ceremony; they hoped to utilize the back entrance. Ben had no desire to work the red carpet tonight. He knew there would be no softball questions waiting for him there; and he really just wanted to avoid Beth. He also knew if they met, he would have a hard time hiding what he now knew about her.

“Ben, nice to see you,” Brent Pettyloop said brightly as he opened the back door; then he let the 3 of them in. Brent was the doorman; and he had a smile that only made you feel like smiling (he had large round white teeth and devious eyes).

“Nice to see you as well, Brent,” Ben replied as he felt his pocket for his pistol-he knew how chaotic things could get and he wasn’t taking any chances (along with the rest of the Hollywood elite, they weren’t trusting luck this year) as he looked and found his red Beretta. “I heard they were having a barbecue here,” Ben continued as he strolled past Brent keeping his eyes forward. ”Are we late?”

“No sir, the ribs are ripe and ready,” Brent exclaimed surprisingly with his smile leading the way. “Should I get you a glass of wine perhaps?” Brent asked as he ushered them through the kitchen. Ben considered. And as he did the cooks and waiters gave Ben a standing ovation.

“They know, Ben, everyone does,” Julie said proudly, as she smiled and rested her head on Ben’s shoulder.

“Thank you everyone, but I can barely hear you,” Ben said sarcastically as he flashed his brilliant-bought and paid for with talent-smile that warmed the room.

“Ben, they aren’t clapping for you, it’s my suit,” Paul joked as he rubbed the lapel of his suit. “Yes you’re a fine porno actor, but seriously, you’ll never make it in movies, Kid,” Paul said sarcastically as he snatched an oyster off a plate; and then he promptly ate it.

“There’s always condom commercials,” said Ben sarcastically. ” I got 5 years of acting lessons if they call. And they will, I know it.”