Chapter 8
It’s why they make tinsel
The sun was cooking people-most tasted like chicken, but some the previous night’s wine-on the streets of Hollywood the day before the Oscars ceremony. Ben, Jim, and Jen had been in the middle of press junkets every day, all the time, leading up ‘til now. They knew the value of an award millions of people in their neighborhood alone wanted to win. As long as people wanted to hear you talk, talk is what you did, nothing but talk. If you showed any animosity or anger, your Oscar was just handed to someone else. Ben knew it all too well, he remembered his younger years.
There was an interview with ABC that he infamously remarked,” I’ve won, and every dirt bag actor knows it. So they can hand it to me today, or tomorrow, but it’s always mine, and mine alone.” The academy-and all of Hollywood really-were offended by his cockiness and it cost him dearly (they handed that one to Adam Gerfetch and he didn’t seem to mind).
Ben finds himself at this moment sitting across from Giane Grade-and she is a ball breaker extraordinaire (if ever there was one)-a blonde haired beautiful woman of 50. Ben looks at her-like you’d look at the principal giving you detention, not angry, but cautious-and tries to say warm friendly words in his mind to her.
“And we’re back, Ben, is it hard to be nominated in the same year as Beth?” Giane asked darkly. “It’s got to be terrible,” Giane said coyly as she smiled-with a smile that makes most disease free people fell sick-and she touched Ben’s knee. She knew all too well their history; and would love nothing more than to watch the great Ben Train blow it right here, and right after the bottle of wine they shared.
“No, not at all, Beth and I have a nice relationship now,” Ben said hollowly as he shuffled in his seat. “I saw her not long ago, and we talked for a long while. These things, these aches and walls we put up, they were worthless,” Ben said as he grinned-barely being able to believe his own lie, but knowing the stakes all the while-and he pulled out a gold cigarette case and set it on his knee. “She’s an amazingly talented person and a good friend now. To see us both back on top so to speak, it really is a joy for both of us,” Ben spoke as if he was best friends with Giane, but they were far from it. He looked at Giane with warm eyes. He knew Beth and he had not spoken as friends in decades, but by the time Giane found out, he’d be at the Oscars. He knew this because Beth was at a health and body retreat for the day without any implants or technology (a little get out of my way Oscar gift from Ben).
“Hmm, well does it make you sad to think of the things you said in the past?” Giane asked ratcheting up the pressure. “Like ah, I’ve won, and every dirt bag actor knows it. So they can hand it to me today or, ah…tomorrow. Remember that one?” Giane asked coyly as she grimaced-begging for him to take the bait and fail-and she reached over and grabbed both of Ben’s knees nearly knocking over his cigarette case (which is why he put it there, to throw her off). She knew all too well Ben hated to be touched by anyone he didn’t know well. She saw a different look in his eye this time, one that confused her.
“When I got that nomination, I was a young man full of reckless emotion,” Ben agreed. “I think back about that, and I wonder who that person was. To be given the keys to the car is one thing. To get in and drive, another altogether,” said Ben as he looked down and rubbed his temple with his index finger. “I wasted my opportunities, because I was afraid to succeed. Those days, I just…I just ache to remember them,” Ben admitted-with the best heavy heart he could act-and he welled up slightly. “I thank god for the days I have now, and the work I’ll do with them,” Ben said with a quick set of 3 blinks-as he wanted to slap her hands off his knees with a baseball bat-and he sat back and put his hand in front of his face.
“That’s beautiful, Ben, beautiful,” Giane said hollowly as she sat back-knowing he was probably lying through his teeth-and then she sat forward and changed the page on her notes. “They tell me we have to go, I hope you do well. Men like you are hard to come by, say hi to Beth for me won’t ya?”
“Of course, thank you for having me on,” Ben replied coyly as he rose like a geyser-the quicker the better he thought-and gently grabbed both sides of Giane’s face and kissed her.
Giane looked at him like she was getting felt up by a stranger in the subway (as the show went to commercial).
“Ben, you’d washed your hands today right?” Giane asked helplessly.
“Oh yeah, twice yesterday,” Ben reassured her as he walked off with a brief wave over his shoulder.
Ben walked out of ABC studios quicker than a bank robber out of the bank vault. He signed some autographs on the way to the limo. He turned suddenly to look down the long street-a street he had defiled so many ways in the past-and knew he was having the time of his life.
He flew to L.A. on the tube train-not as much fun as you would think, the nausea and all-and made it in one hour. He hurried over to the tailor-a man known simply as Shavon by lovers and foes-and picked up his black tux. There would be no fashion statements tomorrow night, he thought. Not this time, not if he expected to keep his karma flowing in the right direction.
“Hi there, Julie, I see you’re not eating,” Ben noted.
“Watch it, Ben, you know my thighs need work,” snapped Julie as she lifted up the ruffles on her dress. “I’m not going as the fattest woman there, I won’t,” Julie said sharply as she sucked in her stomach-that was held together by more glue than most planes-and continued having her marble blue dress fitted in their living room.
“You look amazing, I shouldn’t have poked fun,” Ben added irrelevantly; however Julie was already past it. “I heard there’s a luncheon today, for the nominees. Thought maybe, we’d…”
“We’re going, help me get these damn pins out,” Julie interrupted as she motioned for Shavon-who was eyeing the pizza delivery boy and BUSY at the moment-to let her dress out.
They changed clothes and went over to Ivy-if you lived there that’s what you called it, but technically it was The Ivy-and walked in amongst the nominees. Jim and Jen were calmly talking with everyone; and this made Ben grin. He knew Jim had an extra gear he was hiding, but he didn’t realize Jen did too, (‘til that very moment as the look in her eyes gave it away).
“Jim, how’s your broken penis treating ya?” Ben asked decisively with bold eyes and a grin.
Jim looked over quickly; and he saw Ben grinning and Jim smiled at this. ” Not as good as my glass eye, but thanks for mentioning it,” Jim said sarcastically as he fussed with his left eye-it was real but could go lazy if he wanted-making Ben chuckle. “How’s your missing penis, any luck?” Jim asked as if Ben were humiliated by his joke.
“No, we can only hope,” Ben fired back smiling now more strangely and directly into Jim’s eyes (it looked like he’d caught him having sex or stealing to Jim). “Jen, are you really…going to laugh at ALL his jokes?” Ben retorted as he burst out laughing like a jackass-the kind of laugh you did when you realized someone was cheating at the poker table-and he bent over at the waist. He realized right then and there, they had been playing him the whole time; he thought he was playing them. They were far from hayseeds and he knew it now like a goose knows the shape of the axe.
Jim and Jen were laughing-they got the message from the kind of laugh Ben was doing, they knew they were caught.
“Ben, you haven’t been conning us this whole time have ya?” Jim asked sarcastically as his hands sat on his hips like he was waiting for the truth. “You’re not really some joke telling fool are ya? Because Jen and I are hayseeds, second bushel,” Jim said as he fought to stop himself from laughing-knowing he had no chance of doing that at this point-but he couldn’t. Jim knew then Ben had caught onto him and Jen-Ben knowing they knew he had solved their rouse-and they all started laughing like crazy people on the midnight bus.
“Jim, I knew you were second tier, dumpster 8, but not eating the fish eggs,” remarked Ben while his hands were messing up his own hair. “Hey, let’s grab a table, and we’ll act like the people we’ve been using. This way, hurry, before you start pretending to be ordinary again,” Ben insisted as he motioned for Jim and Jen to follow Julie and him through the crowd.
They breezed past Hollywood royalty: up and comers, wannabes, nobody’s all of which watching their every move. Everyone in that restaurant knew they (Ben, Jim, and Jen) were the best and stiffest competition in town. The room they stumbled into; was open air, cool temperature (no one wants to sweat on Oscar Sunday), and a bar of only the best; perched beyond a red table in the center. There were chairs for each nominee around a massive table; with place settings with Dragon shaped napkins and gold silverware. The band Toolsupport, were set up in the back playing hits of yesteryear on a clam shaped stage. The air was moist and the wait staff ready.
“Two bottles, and a nice appetizer,” Ben asked the waiter (who was surprised by his youthful tone). “Oh god, Julie, are you coming, Dear?” asked Ben as he coughed into his hand-fearing a single germ escaping could cost him dearly-and saw Julie chatting up a big time actor named Steele Klammer (Klammer played.the 5th and 6th versions of Thor, made a lot of money too). Julie waved her hand and head no. ” Suit, yourself,” Ben said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. “Jim, what sort of work did you do before you were an actor?”
“I was rich, I’m good at business, Ben, but no one wins awards for making money,” Jim confessed as he played with his gold fork. “Yeah you get the money, but nobody cares but the poor. I needed kicks, and I sought them out,” Jim paused and then continued, “Here’s a funny story, but true story. I set off, to see your hologram and to act with you on Veraclare. I left my 2 year girlfriend, at the Spaceport and have never seen her, again,” Jim said proudly as his chest seemed to lift and his eyes smile. “I left my business behind, and have since sold it. I know what prestige feels like, and it is worth all the bad conversations with extras I have ever had,” Jim joked as he sat back-he didn’t need more than this moment of triumph to give him happiness for a lifetime-and he was promptly poured a glass of Dom.
Ben heard this story and was transported back to his coma, but he was able to smirk it off.
“Ben, would you like to know what I left behind?” Jen asked while she tied her hair back and felt extremely emotional (she was like a young child saying I love you to her father for the first time).
“Yes, yes I would,” Ben replied. “And where did you meet, Jim here, WAIT, it was the ship wasn’t it?”
“Yes it was, I left this behind,” Jen answered with an eye full of tears. “JEN, the damn fries are cold!! GET THE COOKER GOING!” yelled Jen sarcastically as she cupped her hands like a football coach to make it really loud.
Ben and Jim cracked up and many people were taking notice. Jim looked and saw the lower level actors looking in on them, and flipped them the bird.
“So you were quite successful?” Ben retorted.
“Ben, oh I could strangle you,” Jen said playfully as she examined her salad. “Oh, and one other thing, I left daydreaming behind. I live life now, not wish I could. That, is more valuable than anything,” admitted Jen as she tapped her fork on the side of her salad bowl; and she looked down at her dress for a moment (one that Ben noticed).
“We all left that, or it left us,” Ben suggested as he thought about the chestnuts of the past. “You can live one day as a famous person and never grow old again. Or you can feel every second of every day as a failure, and never feel youth. A great man told me that once, he said, take whatever you can get. Until you can get what you want. That knowledge, that truth really, never more true than right now for me,” Ben said as he sipped his champagne; and then he looked up into the blue cloudless sky.
Jen and Jim looked up and saw anti-gravity limousines flying all over the place (they looked like drunk on cider crows flying at midnight). They appeared to be intersecting from their vantage point-making Jim a bit nervous they might crash into one another-but they were on different heights. Jim spied all this with one eye covered by his hand; and he knew no one had ever seen a sight like that where he came from.
“I see, so they let in the help,” Laron said sarcastically, as he strutted over to the table; and then he promptly sat down beside Jim.
“Yes, and it pays good,” responded Jim with an arm around Laron. “Hey, Laron, sorry about the party,” Jim said apologetically, as he rubbed Laron’s back (a heaven for Laron he didn’t believe he’d ever know biblically).
“No worries, it went well after you left,” Laron said in a warning voice-as he was not o.k. with what had gone down at the party. “We had a time, a great time. Jen, what ah…prompted you to leave so early last night? You left in such a blur is all,” Laron said coyly-knowing full well that the little bitch had seen more than she should have-and he looked through Jen and hoped she’d blow it in her answer.
Jen looked back confidently-seeing Laron as weak and no one to be feared (How little she knew)-and then jerked her head to one side.
“Nauseous, yeah felt sick is all.”
“I see, must have been the bonding, gets me every time,” Laron insisted hollowly and he looked down his nose at Jen (like the last cow at the slaughterhouse). Laron knew she was slighting him with these lies; and to him that was beyond horrific.
“Hey can we get a picture?!” Lee Ped asked-he was from the Hollywood Foreign Press, their head photographer-and he used his holographic camera to get them all in the floating frame.
They all posed, and Laron motioned with his hand for the picture to be taken, and it was. They all left after a few more drinks; summed up the day and headed home, to get ready.
Oscar Sunday came and everyone in town was up early and ready to shine. Jen and Jim were at the Beverly Hills Hotel sipping wine next to the pool; this while their hair was crimped and straightened.
“Jim?”
“Yeah what?” asked Jim as he lay flat on his back using 5 inch (3,500 dollar towels) to lift up his torso.
“I have some news to tell you.”
“O.k. shoot!” fired back Jim innocently.
“Jim, I’m pregnant,” Jen blurted out the words anxiously. She didn’t know what he’d say, but she hoped he’d always be with her.
Jim sat up with a glimmering of surprise encompassing him. ”Really?” asked Jim before he even knew what he was saying. “Oh that’s great! OH, I’m not gonna be an idiot bachelor all my life. You know what’s funny?”
“What?” Jen asked timidly.
“I bought this thing, it means something,” Jim said coyly as he fussed with his pockets. “And I was gonna, ask you tomorrow, but since this amazing thing has happened,” Jim muttered as he searched his pocket. “Well sir, I’m gonna ask you today,” Jim said nervously as his hands shook and he started to sweat on his upper lip; and he moved the hairstylist back from him, and got down on one knee.
Jen’s breathing gave her emotions away-her chest heaving and her eyes filled with raindrops of love-while Jim had tears in his eyes, as Jen played with her hands (like a fumbling football hero).
“Jim, is it real?” Jen asked tearfully, with her hands on Jim’s shoulders (the pool staff watching keenly).
“Yes, Jen, I’ve loved you since the first day we met,” Jim said honestly with his eyes blinking to stay ahead of the tears (appearances and all). “You’re kind, considerate, beautiful, and stunning. I don’t care if it hurts my career, or any of that shit. Jen, will you marry me? I’ll make a good husband,” Jim took a breath: hesitated, rubbed his neck, and swallowed hard. All this before Jen stopped him with the brush of her hand.
“YES!!” Jen cried with all those years of voice training producing a mighty sound (loud enough to echo to the far end of the hotel). “I will marry you stop blowing it! Just kiss me already,” Jen begged tearfully as she nervously tried to grab and kiss Jim (like many times before) but these were not those times, and she forgot what to do. Jen started thinking of her father-the times he had her kiss his cheek before every day of school-and then she just grabbed him and planted one hell of a whopper on him.
The other celebrities around the pool all pretended to be bored-yawning was the agreed upon lie-and then threw their wine into the pool in disgust.