don’t need to chaperone them while they urinate, do I? It’s not like we’re drug testing them.”
The Doctor paced.
“Doctor,” Amy said. “You’re really acting rather odd, even for you.”
“Okay, this has gone on long enough,” the Doctor said.
The Doctor stormed out of the kitchen across the hall and down two doors to the
Universal. There was some indistinct shouting. The Doctor returned. He seemed pale and
flustered.
“What’s wrong?” Angela asked.
“They’re shagging in the Universal. That’s not what that’s for,” the Doctor said. Amy
and Rory exchanged a glance, and looked away. “OMG, no! You have your own room. How
many other rooms have you spoiled?”
“Don’t ask,” Amy said.
“This is my home!” the Doctor said.
“You have had your share of play, Doctor,” Angela said.
“It’s my home,” the Doctor said. “Couples really shouldn’t play in other people’s
homes.”
“You don’t have a lot of couple friends, do you?” Angela asked.
Jon and Loxy returned, holding hands. More precisely, it looked as if Loxy was holding
his hand and pulling him along. He seemed a bit ‘pleasantly’ dazed.
“Sorry, I guess I am still recovering from the regeneration heat,” Loxy said.
“And you’re excuse, Jon?” the Doctor demanded.
“Um, I have a hard time saying no,” Jon said.
“You’re 50!” the Doctor said.
“So, I will be 80 one day, and I will still have the same libido,” Jon said.
“But hopefully more self-restraint?! Both of you, time out, on the lounge, now,” the
Doctor said.
Jon and Loxy rushed to the couch and sat down. Loxy adjusted her dressed, then scooted
closer to Jon. She took his hand in hers, and drew it to her lap. Angela took the chair in front of 57
them. The Doctor retrieved the other chair, and sat next to Angela. Rory and Amy hovered behind them.
“Here we go,” Angela said. “Is Loxy Clara?”
Angela held the psychic paper up so they could read it. Loxy giggled. Jon looked at her,
puzzled. Angela lowered the paper.
“What?” Loxy asked. “You don’t think that’s funny.”
“Maybe we’re not seeing the same thing,” Jon said. “What do you see?”
“The fortune you seek is in another cookie,” Loxy said.
“You guys are messing with me,” the Doctor said.
“I swear, it’s what it said,” Loxy said.
“What did you see, Jon,” the Doctor asked.
“You will die alone and poorly dressed,” Jon said.
“Not if I have a say in it,” Loxy said.
“Give me that,” the Doctor said, taking the psychic paper back. “Do either of you know
Clara?” He held the psychic paper at them.
“Clara knows everything,” Jon said.
“That’s Clarissa,” Loxy corrected.
Jon looked closer and squinted. “Oh, you’re right.”
The Doctor shook the paper out while he thought of the next question.
“Oh, wait,” Jon said, grabbing at the paper. “An alien of some sort will be appearing to
you shortly. That’s kind of ominous.”
Loxy leaned closer to read it. “Flattery will go far tonight.”
“You really make that dress look good,” Jon said.
“We should retire for the night,” Loxy said.
“Stop it,” the Doctor said.
“Are you channeling fortune cookies?” Amy asked.
“You are channeling the Universe,” Loxy said.
“The Universe as wrapped in a fortune cookie,” Jon added.
“Can you give us our own psychic paper?” Loxy asked the Doctor.
Jon caught a glance of the paper. “Outlook not so good.”
“Are you purposely messing with me!” the Doctor demanded angrily.
58
“You will not find your answers here, Doctor,” Jon said.
“Oh!” Loxy said, taking hold of the paper. “I see that, too.”
“Where will I find them?” the Doctor asked.
“Somewhere, over the rainbow,” Loxy said.
Jon closed his eyes. “That song is really hard to get out your head.”
“Should I put on a plaid dress tonight?” Loxy asked.
“That might help,” Jon said.
“Focus!” the Doctor said. “Is there an answer?”
“There’s always an answer,” Jon and Loxy read together. “You’re running out of
questions.”
“What, we’re playing twenty questions?” the Doctor asked.
“Nine remaining,” Jon and Loxy said. “This is so fun,” Loxy added and kissed Jon.
“Wait wait wait,” the Doctor said, rubbing his forehead, counting the questions by
mouthing them without speaking them. “You’re counting Amy’s question?!”
“Without a doubt,” Jon and Loxy read.
“No one else speak. I will ask the questions,” the Doctor said.
“What would happen if Jon and I asked the questions?” Loxy asked.
“Do you really want to know the answer to that?” Jon read.
“Malkovich?” Loxy asked. “Who’s he?” She seemed perturbed by the response. “No, I
don’t remember. I wouldn’t have asked if I remembered.”
“Don’t argue with the paper,” the Doctor said. “And stop asking questions.”
“A question to a question isn’t really a proper thing to do,” Loxy complained.
“Infinite regression,” Angela reminded them.
“This is really simple. I ask the question, you read the response,” the Doctor said.
“Why haven’t we ever played this game?” Rory asked.
“I got nothing,” Loxy said.
“Me neither,” Jon said.
“It doesn’t work for everyone,” Angela said.
“Oh, so what’s so special about them?” Amy asked.
“I don’t think we should share that response,” Jon said, and Loxy agreed.
“Stop!” the Doctor snapped.
59
“You’re beginning to lose it, Doctor,” Amy said.
“This is important,” the Doctor said. “Are you going to help me?”
“Better not tell you now,” Jon and Loxy read.
“Why?” the Doctor asked.
“The continuity of the one is paramount,” Jon and Loxy said. Jon added. “Never ask why
questions.”
“What question should we ask?” Amy asked.
“Amy!” the Doctor said.
Jon and Loxy read an answer: “Only those in their right mind can navigate the between.”
“How is that an answer?” the Doctor asked.
“Reply hazy try again,” Jon and Loxy read.
“Fortune cookies or magic eight ball?” Rory asked.
The Doctor gave Rory the look.
“Don’t hate the paper,” Jon and Loxy read.
The Doctor took his psychic paper and stuck it in his pocket. “This is getting us nowhere,”
he said.
“If you’re really that curious, Doctor,” Amy said. “Why don’t you just go back in time to
when Jon decided to make his Tulpa and see if there are any observable anomalies?”
“Oh!” the Doctor said standing. “I could just kiss you, Amy.”
“Please don’t,” Rory said.
“It’s just a saying,” the Doctor said.
“An innuendo will go far tonight,” Loxy reminded them.
“Was that an innuendo, or were you reading my mind?” Jon asked.
“Stop it,” the Doctor said. “We’re about to get really serious here.”
“Oh, yes, we are!” Loxy agreed.
“Not like that! We are going to travel to the birth place of Loxy,” Loxy said.
“You mean the original birth time two years ago?” Rory asked. “Or the Tree birth time,
where you just were?”
“Loxy wasn’t born on the physical plane, but in the imaginal realm,” the Doctor said. “We
are going in.”
“In where?” Amy asked. “Jon’s head?”
60
“Oh, I really don’t advise going in there for real,” Loxy said.
“What’s wrong with my head?” Jon asked.
“Nothing. I love your head. But it’s a particular flavor, and not everyone’s going to like
it,” Loxy said.
“Please tell me none of that was an innuendo,” Rory said.
“You’re telling us the imaginal realm is a real place?” Amy asked, distracting anyone
from answering Rory’s question.
“Sure,” Jon said. “I travel there all the time.”
“Doctor,” Angela said, her curiosity peaked. “Are you telling me that you’re going to take
us, in the TARDIS, into the imaginal, metaphysical, shamanistic dimensions of space/time?”
“How many times have you told me it’s a real place?” the Doctor asked.
“You can’t take the TARDIS there for real,” Angela said.
“Why not?” the Doctor asked. “You swear it’s a real place. Let’s go.”
“It’s not like a place you can point a compass at and steer your ship there,” Angela said.
“Sure it is,” the Doctor said. “Metaphorically speaking, you need two points to any
compass. I have Jon and Loxy. I will hook them up to the TARDIS and let her follow her
instincts. It will be fun!”
“Doctor,” Amy said. “What happens if this place isn’t a real place?”
“Then, we’ll go nowhere,” the Doctor said, heading to the control room.
“Literally or metaphorically?” Rory called after him.
Angela, Amy, and Rory followed the Doctor. Jon was about to get up and accompany
them, but Loxy pulled him back to the lounge, and without much persuasion, he lingered with
her. Their lips met and things were about to escalate, but he stopped her.
“What flavor, exactly?” Jon asked.
“Butterscotch,” Loxy said.
“Is that good?” Jon asked.
“Oh, very good,” Loxy said, taking him down to the couch.
Angela caught up to the Doctor and passed him, putting herself in front of the control
console.
“Think about this,” Angela said. “You can’t just hook them up to the TARDIS. You need
specialized parts, and refined crystals of such purity…”
61
“Space crystals?” the Doctor asked.
Angela considered. “That might work,” she agreed.
“Doctor, is this dangerous?” Rory asked.
“No!” the Doctor said. “No. I don’t think so. I don’t think anyone’s ever tried it.”
“Maybe there’s a reason no one has ever tried it,” Rory pointed out.
“Angela, are you against going?” the Doctor asked.
“Would that stop you?” Angela asked.
The Doctor considered, his eyes shifting up, then left, and then back, as if following
certain trajectories. “No. I am pretty set on doing this.”
“Doctor! Is any of this worth the risk?” Amy said, putting herself in front of the console.
“Do you really need to know everything?”
“Oh, Amy, surely you know the answer to that,” the Doctor said.
“Is it worth our lives? Yours or Angela’s life? Rory’s or my life?” Amy said.
“Jon and Loxy’s lives,” Rory said.
“Yes, them, too. I was getting to them,” Amy said.
“We don’t know there is any risk,” the Doctor said.
“Because no one has ever done this!” Amy said.
“Shamans go there all the time. The Avatars of Ever practically live there,” the Doctor
said. “Remember the Roses. That’s where they are. Actually, the whole rose bush is like a
thriving city, and the roses are points of interests.”
“They don’t go there in a TARDIS,” Amy said.
“To our knowledge,” the Doctor agreed.
“You need to consider this and assign a value of risk and explain it to Jon and Loxy,
because they don’t have a clue what the real world is like,” Amy said.
“Look at them!” the Doctor said, just now realizing they weren’t there. “I mean, if they
were here, look at them. They love this kind of stuff. The fact that they are making themselves so at home tell me loads. Well, probably shouldn’t use ‘loads’ with them. OMG, they are so
messing with my brain. No! They’ll volunteer.”
“Jon will,” Amy agreed. “He will agree to anything.”
“Especially if there is a skirt attached,” Rory said.
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“Yeah, I was going to say that,” Amy said, distracted by that, but then quickly back on task. “He doesn’t know, Doctor. He doesn’t know you, or how things typically play out around
you. And Loxy, well, she doesn’t seem quite right yet. You need to spell it out for them, but Jon needs to make this call.”
“If Jon says no, the show is off,” Angela said.
“I will explain it to him,” the Doctor said. “Now, if you will permit me, I am going to shift
the TARDIS over to a nice crop of space crystals.”
“You have been sitting on a harvest of space crystals?” Angela said.
“Oh, yeah,” the Doctor said. “Never know when you might need a spare.”
निनमित
It was decided, by the Doctor of course, that the modifications to the TARDIS would be made to
one of the auxiliary control rooms. The room seemed incomplete, as if it had been inspired, but
abandoned before completed. There was an energy conduit center of the room. There were stairs
down to the sunken floor. There were interrupted rails encircling the space. There was even a
door that surprisingly seemed to go nowhere. He was baffled by it the emptiness and the fact he
couldn’t pass through the door into the darkness beyond and it took the Doctor drawing him
away from it and closing the door before Jon could let the mystery go. As they all feverishly
worked to the Doctor’s specifications, the Doctor explained as they went. From Jon’s
perspective, the explanation came in spurts, like a narrator’s monologue over top a montage of
activity.
Jon and Rory fetched a couch from one of the storage rooms. Rory explained the storage
room, and the surprising clutter, by informing Jon that the Doctor receives gifts every now and
then. The gifts go in the room. In this case, the item they were told to fetch, was a couch. It took several goes to get the right couch, but they finally brought the correct one, a half circular artifact that when shoved up against one of the railings, fit as if it belong there. It was white, armless couch could comfortably sit three people. It was awkward as hell to relocate and they were
happy that the Doctor was happy, because they were ready to protest another trip. Amy and Loxy
brought two lighter chair, with wheels, like computer desk chairs. The Doctor and Angela were
focused on installing the eight crystals in a precise measured space around the energy conduit,
63
like points on a clock. Sometimes the Doctor was underneath the floor, yelling up at Angela to shift one of the crystals, but when they had it, it seemed to settle into the deck plating. A fiber optic cable was secured to the bottom of the floor directly under the crystal by a plate that stuck like a magnet. As soon as it was placed it sealed itself, becoming a seamless connection. The
crystals lit up with each connection. Jon and Rory couldn’t move a crystal by themselves, or
even together, which made them appreciate just how strong Angela was.
“Space crystals are the most precious and covetous resource in the entire Galaxy,” the
Doctor said, offering a holographic simulation of the origin of space crystal. “They only form
when a planetoid with the right mineral compensation is pulled into a particular type of orbit,
where the planetoid is subjected to continuous cycles of melting and refreezing. Space crystals
have been observed forming around gas giants, when the planetoid is heated by tidal forces, but
those crystal usually break free from the mass, broken up further by tidal forces, and end up
being particulates in a planetary ring. Great for making gadgets and jewelry, but not for the
heavy lifting presently needed. You might be surprised to learn, those are not ice crystals around Saturn, but diamonds of the purest quality that they resonate to the frequency of the Universe.
Only stars can make supersized space crystals. With each orbit, crystals grow in size until they
break free and either get slung out into space, or crash into the parent star. The bigger the
crystals, the more valuable. Telepaths love these crystals, because it amplifies transmission, and broadens reception.”
Angela, wearing an aura of light instead of a space suit, went out of the TARDIS on a
spacewalk. She flew about as if she were in a dream. The TARDIS hovered near an asteroid,
next to one specific asteroid. One side of the asteroid was seemed like a lump of iron, while the other side was a cluster of crystals. Angela selected the crystals, and gently sung them free, using no visible tools. She brought each one in. She told them that singing is the only proper method of harvesting crystals. You were drawn to the right one, you asked it for permission, and you
befriended it with song. If it came free, it was meant to be. Crystals, like trees, were living
entities in their own right.
Earlier, when the Doctor had been leading them around looking for the ‘right’ room with
the right ‘acoustic’ feel, Jon and Loxy both stumbled at the same precise time in the same way,
catching each other. They merely laughed it off.
“You okay?” Loxy asked.
64
“Feel more grounded than ever,” Jon said.
“Tree sprites can do that for you,” Loxy said.
And then, they found themselves kissing, only suddenly separated by the Doctor, who
quickly redirected them back to work. The explanation came later:
“Jon and Loxy are so psychically enmeshed you could make the analogy that they are
entangled particles,” the Doctor continued. “No matter how far apart they are in space or time,
there will always be informational exchange.”
“Space and time are one,” Angela reminded him.
“Don’t confuse them with the facts,” the Doctor said. “I am dumbing it down so they can
have some insight into what we’re going to do.”
“You do that to us a lot, don’t you?” Rory asked.
“I generally don’t have the time to catch my companions up to speed. I go for as much
accuracy as circumstances allow, and try to push things a long, but if you have any questions
about anything specific, I could try and be more precise, but usually, it’s just best to let things go,” the Doctor said.
“Let the Clara thing go,” Angela said.
“I said usually,” the Doctor said.
Loxy and Amy laid down art work using a special paint that glowed. It seemed to glow
with its own power, and reflected the intensity of the energy conduit, even pulsing in
synchronicity. The pattern seemed to be a blend of Hindi Mandalas and Celtic Cross patterns.
Jon and Rory tried to help, but the girls chased them off because it didn’t meet their standards.
They didn’t erase their contributions, but encapsulated the art within their art.
“We’re not just free painting,” Loxy said. “We’re making circuits.” Once circuits are laid,
you got to go with what’s there.”
“I hope there contributions don’t get us lost,” Amy said.
“It will be what it will be,” Loxy said.
The crystals were in place before the girls finished their artwork, connecting all the
crystals to the hub of the energy conduit, leaving the Doctor and Angela finishing up the control console that hung from the railing directly opposite the couch.
“Really nice rings,” Loxy commented to Amy.
“They were,” Amy said.
65
Rory rolled his eyes. The Doctor reminded him to hold it steady, as Rory was holding a
component to the console while the Doctor secured it. Rory asked him to hurry, it was heavy.
The Doctor paused to examine the ring.
“Oh, I didn’t notice!” the Doctor said. He now noticed Rory and Amy had matching
rings. “Tungsten? They look like little TARDISes. I love it! Very original.”
“You can find them in any gift shop in London,” Amy said.
“How was I supposed to know I should have patented the design?” Rory said.
Angela asked the Doctor to focus on the component, as the crystal was delicate.
“I am really excited about this,” Loxy told Jon, hugging him.
“I don’t recommend getting too excited. Things with the Doctor may start off good, but
you always end up running,” Amy said.
“Oh, I don’t run,” Jon said.
“Because you’re philosophically opposed?” Rory asked.
“I assure you, travel with the Doctor and you will see things that will make you run,”
Amy said.
“The best way to end a nightmare is to stand your ground,” Jon said.
“We did get off to a good start, though,” Loxy said.
Jon couldn’t argue with her choice of words, but it gave him pause, even as he gave
visual agreement.
“How good?” Rory asked.
“Orgasmic,” Jon said.
Loxy agreed with his word. Amy looked to the Doctor.
“It was a medical procedure,” the Doctor said. “The bullet wound below the clavicle,
remember? I healed him using alien tech. Apparently, it has a side effect with humans.”
“I have had lots of wounds. I didn’t receive any um, special treatments,” Rory said. And
to his wife. “Just saying.”
“That particular device only treats projectile wounds to the shoulder,” the Doctor said.
“Do you have to be injured to use it?” Rory asked.
“You want me to shoot you?” Amy said.
“You two should really let Jon counsel you,” Loxy said.
“Because he’s a counselor now?” Amy said.
66
“He’s a read a lot of books,” Loxy said.
“Maybe counseling wouldn’t hurt,” Rory said.
“Seriously, you want the hypnotist to therapatize us?” Amy said.
“No, not like that, but, maybe we could use someone to talk to. It’s not like we can go to
a real counselor, because, well, if we told them even half of our story they’d commit us,” Rory
said.
“Jon, help them out,” Loxy insisted.
“I really think we should stay out of their affairs,” Jon said.
“You’re great at this stuff,” Loxy encouraged. A little more stern. “Help them.”
Amy crossed her arms. Rory, no longer needed by the Doctor, drew closer.
“Okay,” Jon said. “But you should know, I only play a counselor on TV.”
“Ha ha,” Amy said.
“Jon, no jokes, just talk to them,” Loxy said. “Like a normal person.”
“You know how difficult it is for me to be normal,” Jon said. Loxy put her hands on to her
hip. “Fine, we’ll give it a go.” He turned to Rory and Amy. “I need to know something straight
up. Is this divorce counseling or marriage counseling? Because those are two different animals.”
“Can’t it just be counseling?” Rory asked.
“I suppose, but, this seems to be like couples counseling, and um, I think I need to tell
you, if we start as a couple, we stay as a couple. I won’t be able to counsel you separate, and if you come at me alone, I may have to turn you away, or we agree in advance that there will be no
secrets, but, no, I need to know what this is,” Jon asked.
“Marriage counseling,” they both said in unison.
“Oh, great commitment,” Jon said, actually excited. “We’re halfway there.”
Jon pointed to the couch. They sat down, opposite ends of the couch. Jon rolled a chair
over, spinning as he came, and stopped an appropriate distance away from the couch.
“You’re enjoying