I woke up softly resting on Peter’s arm. He had held me all night. I remembered the dream I’d had but it seemed like it was long ago somehow. I must have slept heavily after it. Still, I remembered it in detail. It felt as if Erin was gone for good now. I stared up at our white sealing with no particular thoughts going through my head. I was empty, totally empty on the inside.
I heard a sound in the apartment, like a thump. It made me jump. I listened carefully. It went quiet. It must have been the neighbours. As I lay back in bed my mind started to wander and I thought I heard Erin’s laughter, the most beautiful sound in the world. A memory of the dream I’d had perhaps? I prayed I would never forget the sound of it. Then there was another noise, like someone walking in the flat.
“Peter,” I whispered while shaking him slightly to wake him. “Peter, wake up. I think someone is in here.”
Normally, the thought of some burglar coming into our home would be terrifying, but I felt like I had nothing to loose. I didn’t want the intruder touching any of Erin’s things anyway. It angered me more than anything. How dare they come into my home and even look at her things? Now I was mad… I got up, getting myself ready to take on whatever idiot that was in my way. They were going to be sorry that they dared enter this flat. I hadn’t managed to wake Peter yet, I didn’t want to be too loud and he was just moving slightly so I decided to take matters into my own hands. I put one foot in front of the other quietly on our dark grey carpet, not wanting to make any noise. I heard more movement. There was definitely someone else in here. I got close to our bedroom door, grabbed a little metal statue on our bureau of a man and woman embracing each other, to use as a weapon and put my hand gently on the brass handle of the door. I gathered my fighting courage, took a deep breath and pulled the door open quickly. Then I stared. My eyes widened and I wasn’t blinking. My jaw dropped and everything seemed to go in slow motion. Was I dreaming now?
Everything seemed so realistic.
In the hallway stood Erin. She was standing in her purple pyjamas hugging her favourite teddy and singing softly.
“Erin?” I said so softly that she didn’t hear me. But then she looked up and when she saw me she smiled the widest smile.
“Mummy,” she yelped and ran towards me. My knees gave in and I fell to the ground. She hugged me hard. I didn’t understand what was happening at first. My body didn’t seem to be functioning correctly, but little by little it was coming to me. I hugged her back but had little strength, I think that I was in a state of shock. I started laughing, not a normal laugh but a nervous sort of laugh as tears had started to spill from my eyes. It was like an over burst of emotions, happy emotions that had come from a place long forgotten. I grabbed hold of her pulling her away so that I could see her face.
Could it really be my girl?
“Erin?” I said once more. This time loud enough for Peter to hear me. I heard him sit up and I knew the very moment he saw Erin in my arms. Quick as lightening he was at our side and bless him, he had the exact same reaction as I’d had a moment earlier. We hugged her and couldn’t stop staring or laughing or crying. After a few minutes Erin seemed to grow tired of the whole show. “You guys are acting so weird,” she said rolling her eyes and walking away to her bedroom. Peter and I looked at each other. We couldn’t believe what we had witnessed. We quickly followed our girl, not wanting to loose sight of her. She had taken out some papers and pens and was sitting on her bedroom floor, drawing. We walked up and sat down next to her. My hands were shaking. Peter took one of my hands to help calm me but his loving gaze was upon Erin. I too looked at our little girl and felt happy, confused and some other emotion I couldn’t place. It took a few minutes for my shakes to give in. I still felt weak to the knees so I was appreciating sitting down.
“Erin, where were you?” I asked.
“What do you mean mummy? You saw where I was,” she said and then looked up at me. “I was with the angels in the dreamscape. Don’t you remember?” she asked.
I looked at her in disbelief. Had this really been like with me and Peter in the dreamworld? But Peter’s physical body had been here. Erin’s wasn’t here at all. I couldn’t figure it out.
“But how did you get back,” I continued.
“Grandad,” she said.
“Grandad?” I repeated like a question. “Yes, grandad. I was going to move to the light but grandad came and said that he would go instead. He said I could come later when I had lived longer and he also said that you were too sad so I had to go back. Then the angels took me back here,” she said like it was nothing.
Peter and I looked at each other again. Trying to digest what our daughter was saying.
“Do you mean that grandad is in the light now?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“I’ll be right back,” I told Peter as I got up and walked through to the living-room and got hold of my mobile. I dialled ‘mum’. I was breathing shallow breaths. I had guessed what had happened but I needed to know for sure.
“Hello,” it was Emma. I could tell by her tone that something had happened.
“Hi, it’s Alex.”
“Alex….”
I heard sobs at the other end of the phone.
“It’s dad…he’s…he’s gone,” she said sobbing.
“You have to come.”
I felt my eyes burn but was in such a confused state over what had happened with Erin being back and my dad gone that I didn’t know what to say. “Alex, can you hear me?” she asked sounding a little angry.
“Erin is here.”
There was silence on the other end. “I don’t know how,” I continued.
“What? Erin? Are you messing with me?”
“No,” I said sharply. “Why would I do that?”
“But how? Oh my God…oh my God…MUM,” she yelled in my ear. “Mum!! It’s Erin, she’s back!” I heard quick footsteps, then mum was at my ear. I could hear how much she had been crying with her thick voice.
“Our Erin? Is she really back??” she said. I walked back to Erin’s bedroom and yes, she was there. Peter was helping her colour her book. Peter looked up at me and there I saw the light in his eyes, the light that had been missing these last couple of months. “Yes mum, Erin is home.”