Oak stared at the smug face before him. What was Fern up to now? She was always thinking of something to get his attention. What new ploy did she have today? Why the satisfied smile? His lips curled up at one end in a brief smile to himself and then vanished just as quickly as he realized she was yet again disarming him of his senses. She was way too much of a distraction to have around him all the time. She’d always been like his sister but the way she had changed lately. Well, it didn’t leave him with brotherly thoughts anymore and the fact that she wasn't his sister made her presence more unnerving.
She was so different from the others with her long copper hair that was always sticking out in the oddest of shapes. Sometimes, she looked like she had dragged her head through a bush backwards. On one occasion he’d asked her if she’d had a difficult entanglement with a beast for her hair and almost lost. Her face had flashed with anger and she’d sneered at him, turning from pretty to a nasty wrinkled up creature. Somehow, it just made her all the more endearing to him.
Fern had learnt to rope in her emotions but the fire still burned, even if the flame burned subdued. He’d seen that fire often, usually when she didn’t know he was around. It embarrassed her if she knew he saw her lose control. A thrill ran through him at the thought, she affected him that way. There were times when he almost lost direction of what he was doing because of her and the feelings she stirred in him. That was not good in a leader, distractions led to mistakes and mistakes could lead to injury and death. He’d seen mistakes and the biggest mistake of all the Devastation would never be forgotten, no one would ever forget. It had been burned into his young mind just as it had burned the cities it took.
He took in the expression on her face, the straight nose perhaps a little too large but it added to that air of insubordination she held and wore now. She never listened to orders she was a law unto herself. He looked away to hide a small smirk that stretched his mouth. Composing himself he looked down at her and stopped less than a foot away. He hoped to intimidate her by getting into her space but she didn’t back up or so much as lean back an inch as he almost dropped his head level with hers.
“What goes on here?” he asked, his eyes slowly slipping away her defences as she tried to keep control. He watched her wet her lips (he really wished she wouldn’t do that his resolve was fading). Her chest rose as she took in a breath and as precisely and quickly as possible told of everything she’d seen in the forest. Oak watched her intently, watching the way her eyes widened when she talked of the large Citan leader. How they glittered at her description of him and his long black coat. How a small smile curved her lips when she talked of his rifle and bullet lined belt. She described everything in such detail that he could well have been there with her. He could even feel her own emotions that the Citans had caused within her.
How could he be so in tune with her when they could not be any further apart in character? The sublime to the ridiculous his father used to say about the Regime. That was the two of them when they were together. He understood her less than he did anyone else within the camp and it scared him. How could he control her if he did not know what went on in her mind? He used to know what went on inside her head but that seemed long ago. The walls had risen and now he only knew that he was loved by her and that fact made her angry.
He knew she wanted to have more responsibility and sometimes he really did think she should. He had no doubt she would be useful but how could you use someone that would argue against whatever orders you gave them? That was Fern always questioning why this had to be done or why it had to be done that way, or even why it had to be done at all. Sometimes he just wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her saying “because that is what I’ve asked of you now do it!” Eventually she would do what she was asked snarling as she left but that was all it ever was, Fern just being obliging curling up in disapproval inside. With Fern it was always more of a request and a hope that she would carry out what you asked. Giving her an order was more likely to be ignored.
The way she loved him was a concern too. He knew how passionate she was about everything and her feelings toward him would put them both at risk. If she thought he was in the slightest bit of danger she would most likely do something foolish and he’d have to save her probably placing himself in jeopardy of death.
Something else he found disconcerting was when she was close beside him his skin tingled. Would he feel the electrical currents run through him every time she brushed past him? The chemical reaction between the two of them was overwhelming and it took all his discipline to remain aloof and a leader in her presence. Those pouting lips of hers dominated his mind too much when he talked to her; they looked soft like a beacon guiding his own perilously close. All thoughts he shouldn’t have.
When Spruce died and Oak was made leader of the clan everything had changed between them. He was soon busy choosing and training his defenders and proving himself worthy. He worked on expanding the camp, making improvements. So his days were always busy with plans. He was constantly drawing up new ones until late into the night and finally flopping into his bed in exhaustion. Fern had faded from his thoughts and it was then that he had become more aware of Willow.
He'd needed to converse with Willow many times about his choice of defenders and about the harmony within the camp. She was very helpful to him. Soon she began to occupy his thoughts a great deal. He admired her softness and the gentle kindness that enveloped her. Willow was everything perfect. He looked upon her as a delightful flower. She was the magnolia within the clan, a beautiful bloom that was resilient and strong despite its loveliness. Willow and Fern fought in his mind. Fern was everything imperfect, the encroaching weed, a scotch thistle pretty to look at but prickly and irritating. Two very different beings and he realized he loved them both.
He was staring into Fern's glorious glowing green eyes, the excitement shooting from them into his heart and tearing at him. A terakian beast would rip him apart less than Fern could. She could pull out each organ in his body with her eyes and leave him an inert mass of nothing. He wouldn’t succumb to her though, he wouldn’t let her dominate and manipulate him. Even though he knew she did it unintentionally it was in her make-up, what she was. Fern was out of bounds, she had to stay out of bounds and he had to accept that and move on.
Oak didn’t so much as flinch at Fern's story. He kept his eyes shadowed hiding under cliff brows as he stared blankly back into hers, chewing over what she’d said.
“Aren't you concerned?” she asked incredulously.
Still he gave no reply only watched her scan his face franticly.
“You know already don't you?” she whispered, stepping back slightly in surprise. Their voices had been low and he could now hear the crowd growing restless. They were shuffling their feet some giving grunts of impatience. It was time to tell them what was happening.
“Yes, I know and so will the whole camp now because of you.” He retorted through clamped teeth. He watched her shoulders droop.
“I’d hoped to keep peace within the camp until I could learn more. They’re not within range of us and as yet show no change of course. I wanted to find out where they were going and what they were looking for with as little disruption to the clan as possible. However, you have changed that now.” He gave her an annoyed glance and saw her visibly slump even more. Her lower lip trembled a little, until she grabbed down on it with her top teeth. A pout came to her lips and she gave him a sidelong rebellious glance.
Oak stopped a laugh from erupting from him as he looked at her elfish face scowl at him. How could he be angry with her when all she ever wanted to do was protect and care for the camp members. As hard hearted as she made herself out to be, her heart was softer than the melini tablets they carried with them on their patrols of the forest. Her warmth was more than any bonfire they built. He knew he’d been wrapped in it many times in the past when she’d thrown her arms around him and hugged him affectionately; planting a soft kiss upon his cheek whilst telling him how much she loved him. That no longer happened.
As time passed the distance between them had grown and he regretted his loss of the Fern he’d loved so much. He was to blame he knew, he held her at bay. He’d visibly cooled his affections toward her (to hide his real feelings) she’d withdrawn her own from the cold iron wall that he had erected. He’d hated the hurt he caused in her eyes but he reasoned that it had to be, he was leader of the clan and he had to show resolute authority.
He kept being her friend and often talked with her, sometimes well into the night. They would sit in her sparse home and converse. Then realizing just how late it was he would abruptly push back his chair and watch her pretty face turn from a smile to disappointment. It was then, with the onset of sleepiness and unguarded thoughts that he would want to pull her to him. Staring into the welcoming eyes, he would rock back on his feet in regret at his feelings, and quickly stagger away from the emotions to rush out the door with a hasty goodnight.
How many times had he done that to her now and how many times had she looked at him the next day with anger and derision? He could see the damage he’d done, how their friendship had changed, it left a pain within him.
Swiftly turning on his heel, he faced the other members of the clan. He scanned all their frightened faces and smiled benevolently at them.
“What is this?” he cried viewing everyone around him with a slow turn of his head. “There is nothing to fear! We are in no danger at present. All is under control.”
The sigh of relief from the crowd was heard by Oak, Fern and the defenders as it vibrated through the podium. “We’re watching a group that are passing through the forest. They’re not heading toward the camp. They travel parallel to it. We have our defenders keeping track of where they are and what they do. If their course should change we will know very quickly.” Again he repeated, “There is nothing to fear!” He swept his hand out in front of his chest from one side to the other; toward everyone as if by doing so he would immediately dispel any worries they carried.
He gave them a slow encouraging smile and saw the crowd relax. His defenders stood beside him resolute and valiant, giving the clan strength to believe what had been said, belief that there truly was nothing to fear. Oak looked at everyone, he was so proud of them all. His heart filled as he stared, he saw the trust and love in their faces. Everything his father had taught him of importance; faith, hope, honesty and belief he saw in them. His clan believed in him, they placed their faith in him and he would be true to them, proving himself the person they deemed him to be.
**********
Surprisingly to Fern, the crowd visibly relaxed, she looked at them and wondered what magic Oak possessed to have so many believe in him so fully. She looked at the back of his head as he stood tall and upright, she knew his face would be kind but determined as he spoke. He held so much presence on that podium; it was as if no one else was there, for all eyes were upon him, feeling his energy, his strength and his power. Did he know he had power? It wasn’t something he ever tried to wield, he never had to and his charismatic words were enough. She could hear them now; they were deep and floated through the air, hypnotic. Oak had a natural presence and honesty that everyone loved, that was why he was their leader. She should know because she loved him the most.
It made her want to spit when those thoughts came into her head and if she’d had something to hit her head with other than the heavy burneam stick next to the drum she would have. Then again she would have just proved to everyone how crazy she really was. Which, she was sure was the general consensus of the whole camp. Darn! She really had to get a better handle on her emotions. It was no wonder that Oak wouldn't let her have more responsibility; she carried way too much mental baggage around with her to be able to concentrate. One day though, one day she would prove herself.
They had a good life in the camp, they ate well, the defenders protected them from the beasts, no one fought other than the odd bit of bickering from boys having rushes of testosterone and becoming aggressive. She smiled at that thought; they soon learnt to control themselves. If there were any fights between boys, the two were sent with a group of experienced hunters to take down a terakian beast and bring back the hide. The leader always made sure it was well organized and safely done but the sight of the ferocious beast was enough to leave the boys shaken. On their return to camp they would vow never to lose control again. Their life had been happy since the Devastation, only the death of Spruce had marred it. They were all young and healthy, no one even thought of death.
The arrival of the Citans in their forest could mean death. She’d heard they could be brutal and cruel. Oak said it was all just hear-say that no one really knew. It was just the unknown that was fearful to everyone that was all. She wondered if Oak was right, she hoped he was. He said the Citans were no-where near the camp; they were headed in a different direction. What if they were trying to make them think that, what if the group she’d seen were a distraction and another group of Citans were right now heading toward their camp? The Woodlander defenders would leave going after the group they’d seen. The second group of Citans could just be waiting for the opportunity to invade and take over.
She was getting ahead of herself and none of it made sense. Firstly, they had sentinels posted everywhere on watch. She had no doubt that they were patrolling right now; Oak would have already arranged that. Secondly, why would the Citans invade their camp anyway? They had nothing that the Citans could want. The Citans still had the use of energy and machines in the city. The defenders had seen them pull up the huge wind turbines they’d repaired and now used the electricity they produced. The few small antiquities that the Woodlanders had were nothing compared to what the Citans possessed.
She looked at the crowd again. They adored him; they listened to every word as if he were singing a song. His defenders stood beside him, faithful and respectful. They were proud to have been chosen by him, their leader who was only a boy. She stopped her thoughts, no; he had never been a boy. He’d grown up faster than all of them. He’d never allowed himself the simple pleasures of idle thought and play. Oak had always worked hard, helping others, making their lives easier in some way or another and they’d all grown to rely on him as they all relied on him now. Here he was re-assuring everyone that they were safe and that he would not allow their safety to be jeopardized and she knew he wouldn’t. No matter what, even if it cost him his life he would save them, all of them.
She stared at him, as he stood so solemn and calm. The boy who had brought her here and given her new life, given her hopes out of nothing and comfort instead of pain. To her distress her eyes started to fill with tears, they were hot, unbearably hot and they were flowing down her cheeks. She wiped them off her face quickly and pulled in a breath to regain control. He meant so much to her, he’d always been so much to her. He’d been her life, was her life. If he were to offer his life to save the Woodlanders could she let him do it? Would she do nothing? Or would she herself try to stop him?
Just how far would she go to stop him from sacrificing himself? She did after all owe him her life. It would break her heart and soul if anything should happen to him. Laying his cold body beside Spruce in the sacred ground was too unbearable to think of. Her thoughts ripped through her; who was she most faithful to, Oak or the clan? She knew it was Oak. She would save Oak before the clan, even if it was wrong.