Eposical had each of the Trapapition thieves-as he called them-in different cells except for Coup and Peastro. He felt they needed to work through their differences and this was an ideal time for that.
Dramkick was taking his new surroundings and his current situation in stride. He had already killed 2
Udian soldiers who got out of hand and Eposical had him undergo therapy for the incident-electric shock therapy. Dramkick was thrilled at the prospect of rehabilitation and told every Udian who came near him their day of reckoning was coming.
Mela was adapting nicely and gave the Udian’s the impression she was sorry and willing to change.
After only 2 weeks she was allowed to roam around the ship at her discretion. She was even allowed an hour a day with Coup unsupervised. She made sure to let him in on the situation. Coup got with the program in the blink of an eye and soon he started to receive perks like a pack of cigarettes that he quickly chain smoked.
Peastro-being wise to what the Udians were after from the start-had been making daily breakthroughs and had gotten Eposical to increase his daily food rations as well as a bottle of wine every other day.
Each day on the Famocis started with scream therapy for Coup, Mela, Dramkick, and Peastro.
Whereby they would scream for 20 minutes straight and let out all of their negative emotions. Then came the Comicide sessions -which took usually about an hour and a half-and consisted of asking everyone involved 15 questions from the Patae Comicide handbook.
Dr. Patae Comicide was a behavioral scientist that came up with a way to reinforce the brain by asking specific questions in a certain order. And the order would change depending on your answers and the tone of your voice upon answering. After 7 weeks in the Comicide sessions subjects became completely devoid of ego and lost their propensity for violent acts. Patae himself had taken the Comicide and went the last 30 years of his life without a single violent thought or action.
Inside their joint cell Peastro and Coup sat across from one another in brown wooden chairs that had thick white cushions on each. Their cell has 2 round beds with 8 inch thick red mattresses and 1 pillow per bed, as well as a thick black blanket. Each week they got a new luxury in their cell and this week it was a blanket for each of them. There was also a small open air shower and toilet as well as a steel sink.
The floor has 2 small 5 foot long rugs covering less than a third of the floor. There was a square desk with a round desktop in between the 2 chairs. The desk had a notepad and 2 black silver pens on the side of it.
Peastro started writing a message on the notepad as he spoke warmly to Coup,” Coup, I’ve wronged you and I can only pray to the Builder that someday you’ll give me your love again. Coup, we were brothers once and I know we can be again. Please before you say a word take a couple minutes and think about opening your heart to me then let the words come out naturally.” Peastro spun the notepad around and gently shoved it over to Coup and he read,” Coup, they’re listening to us so be careful what you say.
Now, I figured out that if we stay here and undergo the rest of our therapy sessions then what’s left of us will disappear entirely. I’ve already lost some of my aggression and my mind is losing its edge. The way I look at it is we’ll either die a physical death trying to escape or a mental one if we stay here. Let’s put our differences aside and work together to get the Terious out of here.”
Coup flipped over a fresh page on the notepad and started writing as he spoke to Peastro warmly,”
Peastro, our past is painful to me because you were a son to me and later a trusted friend. I won’t lie to you it hurt me deeply and I felt betrayed, but I have moved past that now. What I feel is that we can be brothers again. But what I need from you now is for you to think about our future together and put some
serious thought into it. And promise me that it’s only honesty from here on in, because I can’t go through that again.”
Coup smoothly passed the notepad back over to Peastro and it read,” I couldn’t agree more let’s get out of here. When I was coming back from the gym I saw 2 dozen escape pods on the far right wall. If we’re all coming out of gym at the same time, we could easily fight our way into those pods. But once we’re in them and we’ve jettisoned out into space, where would we go from there? Because those pods have a limited fuel supply.”
Peastro wrote and said as he did,” Coup, I will never betray you again. If I live a thousand years you will always be my friend and brother. I am so sorry, Coup, so sorry,” said Peastro as he teared up and slid the notepad over to Coup with his right hand and then embraced him.
Coup kissed Peastro’s cheek and then he sat back down and read,” Goldva is only 2 hours from where we are right now. And no I won’t betray you once we’re there, but only if you agree to call it even and go our separate ways. What that means is this…you can live on Sras Oblique as a free man, but not as Emperor. I will make sure you have every luxury your heart desires, but no more scheming against my life, Coup. I won’t live in fear of your reprisal. It’s this, Coup, and this is a great deal for the both of us.”
“It’s good to have my friend back. And yes, yes is what I say to you, Dear Peastro, Yes!” said Coup then he smiled at Peastro.
“Thank you, Coup,” said Peastro then he nodded yes and fumbled with the notepad.
Then everyone went to their Comicide session and after an hour’s worth of questions Dramkick was getting frustrated. He sat on the 6 inch thick foam mat with his back against the wall and glared at Bomat Yields (his personal therapist).
Bomat Yields is 6’8” 202 pounds of thin quick muscle. His hair is long, thick, white, and has a square widow’s peak. He also has a seal black beard and eyebrows. His teeth are so large he couldn’t
completely shut his mouth. He had on an off white sport coat and a dark blue t-shirt and a pair of tan corduroy pants as well as polka dotted red and blue sneakers.
“Next question,” said Dramkick defiantly as he made a fist and lined it up with Bomat’s direct line of sight to Dramkick.
“Fine, if you killed a man who had just lost his son in a bicycle accident would you ask his wife to dance?” asked Bomat plainly then he lit up a cigarette.
“I would not, I’d ask her for sex instead he hee,” said Dramkick coldly as he eyed Bomat’s cigarette and then asked,” Boy could I use a cigarette. What question gets me a cigarette?”
Bomat took a drag off his cigarette than asked brightly,” If a man’s shirt was on fire and smoke filled your nostrils would you pummel that man to death?”
Dramkick smiled and answered,” Only if it were you.”
After the Comicide sessions Coup passed Mela and Dramkick notes telling them the escape plan and that in the evening after dinner they would make a break. After each of them had read it they ripped up the paper and swallowed it. Then they went about their day and their numerous therapy sessions. At the dinner Peastro sat across from Dramkick and Mela and Coup sat at a table across the room from them.
The dining hall has 40 black hard plastic tables with seats that swung in and out and were attached. The meal was a half pound of Evapat (which is a easily chewable steak) and a large bottle of wine as well as some whipped potatoes with gravy for each person.
The Evapat itself is a 3 legged creature that is 11 feet long. It has bright red fur with a white spire of fur on top. Its head is like a cow’s except it has a purple bird’s beak. It is known to be incredibly fast, but tended to sleep most of the day making it easy prey.
“Alright, Dramkick, let’s clear the air. What you did to me was despicable and could have led to my death. But, after my therapy sessions and the work I’ve put in I no longer harbor feelings of anger or resentment towards you. But I just want to know why you did it?” asked Peastro then he took a spoonful of his purple mashed potatoes and ate it.
“Well it’s very simple my father Emasip owed a life-debt that was not collected during his life so it was passed on to me. It’s known as a Morshan agreement and if I had not honored it, it would have cost me my life and my empire. Needless to say I had no choice, I am sorry, Peastro,” said Dramkick honestly then he cut off a large piece of steak.
“Really, how did your father end up with such an agreement?” asked Peastro then he took a drink from his wine bottle.
“What happened was he needed the help of another ruler’s army to win a crucial battle and he would only give it in exchange for the Morshan. This is how things were done back in the distant past. It seems archaic now, but it takes whatever you’ve got for war,” said Dramkick as he started chewing his steak.
“That changes things for me, Dramkick, I won’t think ill of you for something you couldn’t control,”
said Peastro kindly.
“Thank you, Peastro, maybe now we can be friends considering that we have so much in common it would be terrible not to try,” said Dramkick warmly.
“I agree we’ll start over. So I think the first thing we should do as friends is hit the gym after we eat,” said Peastro brightly.
“We’re gonna need it after this feast,” said Dramkick then he let out a sigh.
They finished their dinners and went to the gym while Mela and Coup went to the library and looked for a book. After about an hour of reading Coup asked quickly,” Hey why don’t we go burn off some calories?”
“O.k. I thought you were looking a little soft around the belly,” said Mela as she rubbed Coup’s belly.
“Watch it, Mela, I can still chew through a steel wall,” said Coup playfully then he gave her a hug and a kiss on the lips.
The 2 of them walked hand in hand towards the gym. As they got close to the gym Peastro and Dramkick made eye contact with them and calmly walked out of the gym. And just as they met up Peastro turned to the right quickly and used the Mormo technique to blast the Famocis’ main fuel cell causing a giant explosion and the ship propulsion to be crippled.
Then Mela and Dramkick ran for the escape pods while Coup and Peastro came after them blasting every Udian soldier in sight. A large Udian soldier tried to grab Mela, but Dramkick punched a hole through his stomach. Then Mela jumped into an escape pod and hit the release button and she blasted into space. Peastro saw Halor running at him with a stun stick and he blasted him with the Mormo technique and blew a hula hoop size hole in his stomach. Just as Dramkick was about to get into his escape pod Bomat tackled him. Dramkick struggled for air as Bomat strangled him, but then Dramkick wrapped his large powerful legs around his waist and crushed his ribcage and internal organs. Bomat released his grasp and thick red blood oozed out of his mouth as he perished.
Dramkick shouted as he jumped into the escape pod,” Therapy’s for suckers, Doc!” Then he blasted into space and didn’t look back. While this was happening Coup and Peastro were shooting everyone and everything in sight as they hurried towards the escape pods.
” Head for the horizon!” shouted Coup as he ran.
He and Peastro jumped into their escape pods and hurled themselves into space. The Famocis couldn’t chase them because of the damaged fuel cell. Eposical-who had been in deep sleep when the escape happened-was awoken and shouted,” I will destroy them all! Those treacherous lying manipulative cretins! You will never escape me, Never!”
Inside each of the escape pods they had each other’s hologram displayed in front of them and they met up a good distance from the Famocis.
“We did it, that Hool nugget Eposical can rot in Terious for a thousand centuries!” shouted Coup defiantly as he danced side to side.
“We’re finally free, My Love, and we can enjoy life again!” shouted Mela as she smiled wildly.
“If I had had one more of those save your soul Comicide questions my head was going to implode, I mean it,” said Dramkick sternly as he let out s yell and pumped his fist.
“The Builder has granted us a reprieve and none too soon for my blood. Now we are all in agreement on the terms of escape. I need to know that we’re still going to let things go,” said Peastro implying a question.
“Of course, Peastro I will not try to harm you in any way. I give you my word,” said Dramkick empathetically.
“That’s good and how about you, Coup, and you, Mela?” asked Peastro as his eyebrows lifted.
“I’m fine with the arrangement. You saved our lives and you have earned my trust again,” said Mela warmly then she bowed.
“And you, Coup?”
“Peastro, I will never try to harm you again, but I only ask for some executive powers. I need to be in control of my own soldiers and workin’ it’s just how I am and what makes me happy. Is there anything we could do along those lines?” asked Coup as he pursed his lips.
“Well, I’m not completely opposed to that, but the Line is no more. We’re not going back to even a fragment of the way it was before. You understand that right?” asked Peastro calmly.
“Yes, the Line is gone for eternity and now truly Remember the Line,” said Coup plainly as his eyes glazed over.
They traveled the 3 hours to Goldva and entered the atmosphere in the middle of a hurricane. The fierce storm made visibility virtually impossible. Peastro sent a hail,” Popaturn, this is Peastro I request assistance please respond immediately!”
Suddenly a lightning bolt hit Peastro’s escape pod and cast him into a small pond. The ship was taking on water, but the hatch wouldn’t open. Peastro frantically tried to open it, but then the handle broke and he was trapped. In a few seconds the inside of the pod was filled with water. Then Peastro-while holding his breath-started blasting away at the hatch with the Mormo technique. He could fell his air running out and he blasted and blasted at the hatch. He started to pass out and as he did 2 Nor soldiers in plasma suits tore open the door and pulled out an unconscious Peastro. They brought him to the surface as fast as they could where a small ship was waiting. They put him on the walkway to the ship and attached a Doorbis machine.
The Doorbis sucked the water out of his lungs and filled them with oxygen. Then it stimulated the heart with an electrical pulse.
Peastro sat up violently and shouted,” To dust!” Peastro looked around at the Nor soldiers and at the enormous purple clouds and asked,” How long has it been like this?”
“We haven’t seen the sun in over a year, Pre Ma,” said the pink haired Nor soldier as he helped Peastro up.
“A year, how can that be that just isn’t possible? Please take me to Popaturn and find my friends.
There are 4 of us in total,” said Peastro nervously as he looked at the ominous clouds.
Peastro went inside the Nor shuttle craft. Inside it has a large bed with 2 thick red blankets and 2
large pillows on top of it. It also has a dozen computer stations and a large triangular shaped TV that is showing the movie My Sanity’s Gone Crazy,” starring Anev Sor.
Anev is 6’3 with buzzed red hair and a stunningly beautiful face. She has large pointy breasts and an athletic figure.
The movie is a true story about a Nor woman who realized after a year of motherhood that she was unfit. She sold her son for a decade’s worth of food and shelter to a wealthy business man who couldn’t have kids of his own. Only to have the man return the boy 5 years later because the man no longer wanted to be a father. Then she sold her son again, but this time she was caught by the police and sentenced to 10
years of jail time in Porteamay prison. The ironic twist was that Anev Sor had been sold to a lawyer when she was 3 and never saw her mother again.
Peastro walked over to the bed and fell on top of it as he let out a sigh of relief. Sergeant Cor Valu walked over to Peastro and sat down on a chair at the foot of the bed.
Sergeant Cor Valu is very young looking and has a visible skinny silver plate on the right side of his head. He is very fit and lean. He also has the words,” By chance for certain,” written on the silver plate in his head. He also had on a pair of blue tinted sunglasses that have only 1 lens. He is wearing a black fluffy jacket and green cargo pants as well as tan sneakers.
“Pre Ma, they’ve found 2 of the 3 missing ships and Coup and Dramkick are alive and doing well,”
said Sergeant Valu.
“That’s good to hear I was worried. Have every soldier and ship search every inch of Goldva for Mela’ s ship. Make it a top priority,” said Peastro sternly.
“We’re doing exactly that, Pre Ma. I also wanted to tell you that Emperor Popaturn is going to meet us at Foiv Castle,” said Sergeant Cor calmly and then he asked,” Are you in need of anything to eat or drink, Pre Ma?”
“Yes, I am indeed get me a cigarette and something sugary, actually a pack of smokes. My nerves are a little frazzled right now,” said Peastro then he saw that his hand was shaking.
“You’ve got it, Pre Ma, just give me a second,” said Cor then he left the room.
Peastro sat there and his thoughts raced through all of the painful days he had just spent on the Famocis. He couldn’t believe that he had to go through such a thing. Here he was a Pre Ma and still he couldn’t have peace. Then his thought s turned to Mela and how he hoped she would survive. Lastly he thought of Coup and Dramkick. In Coup he knew he might be able to trust him, but in Dramkick he knew he defiantly could. He hoped Dramkick would be the friend he always searched for. Then he felt terror come over him. What of Culby and Yerpo Lle are they safe? He had to see them as soon as possible.
Cor came back into the room with 2 packs of Purlove Lights and a bag of Germut chocolate cookies and handed then to Peastro and said,” I hope this will suffice, Pre Ma.”
Germut cookies have no calories and are made from synthetic flavoring, but appear and taste like a real cookie. They were named after Germut Skydip-a Nor poker pro who had supported his entire family with his winnings since he was 3 years old. He once bet his first born child that he could do a back flip and peal and eat a Camam before he hit the ground (Which he did successfully and his son Braty had to build him a new deck as payment).
“Cor, I need for my wife and son to be told I am safe and o.k. immediately. Also, that I will be back to see them as soon as possible. Send it by light speed communication,” said Peastro sternly and then he lit up a cigarette and said,” The blood in my veins thanks you, Cor.”
They sped to Foiv Castle and were met by Popaturn, Dramkick, Coup, and then Popaturn said brightly,” It’s great to see you, Pre Ma, Coup told me about what happened. Are you alright?”
“I am fully intact, but a little worn out from the experience I must say. Have you found Mela’s ship yet?” asked Peastro as he walked up the covered path.
“Not yet, the rain is so thick if she landed in a wooded area it would take some time unfortunately.
Don’t worry about the Udian’s I’ve got half our fleet in a perimeter around Goldva and I will have security with you at all times, so fear not,” said Popaturn then he put his hand on Peastro’s shoulder and said warmly,” It’s good to see you.”
“Well, you can’t imagine how good it is to see you after what I just went through. And, to have a cigarette fill my lungs again, yeah thank the Builder,” said Peastro as he flashed a wide smile and then started laughing loudly.
“I thought you might come back to visit us, I just couldn’t have imagined it would be under these circumstances. As you undoubtedly noticed we’ve been under great strain ourselves. Ya see a year ago we received a large gift with no letter with it to say who it was from or who it was meant for. It was a gold and emerald chest and when we opened it we saw it was filled with gold coins and large diamonds, but a few seconds after we opened it the skies turned purple and a storm began,” said Popaturn in a concerned voice.
“That is very odd was there dry dust or smoke that came out of the chest when you opened it?” asked Peastro as he and everyone went into Foiv Castle.
They walked into the Farbanc Relaxation Lounge. The Farbanc is 70 feet long and has 23 feet high ceilings. It consists of hexagon shaped interlocking platforms that rise and fall as people walk near them (and lock into place after you are safely on one). On each of the platforms there are entirely different motifs. From the soldier paradise which has war memorabilia and a large C shaped couch and a tank shaped TV that you can watch shows or play the game To Devastate.
To Devastate is a holographic game that simulates the final day of a desperate war in which only victory can save the world from destruction from an alien race of cannibals.
On another platform it has couches around the outside facing in with a robot cooking anything you wanted, while also doing acrobatics-like twisting flips as he cooked a steak. Everyone followed Peastro to the platform with large black wood walls around it.
Inside there are 7 leather chairs with leather ottomans that face a small waterfall in the center-it has the ability to show any person that is speaking inside the flowing water. This room also has 2 black metal robot servants that give massages and get you anything you want. The floor is covered with a thick black area rug that has Peastro and Morn’s likeness sewn into it.
“There was a plume of smoke that came out of the chest as it was opened, but it was too small to do anything,” said Popaturn then he sat down in one of the leather chairs.
“It may have been, but it might have been a signal for someone to release something into the atmosphere. Because there is no way that this is caused by nature and if I had to guess, I would say this is a tactic to lower the will of the Nor. I mean think about it, if you wanted to invade your best bet would be against someone who was depressed because their will is already broken. I would be very careful in the next several months there could be a sinister force out there that wants to take over Goldva,” said Peastro sternly then he pressed the button on his armrest for a glass of wine.
One of the robots hurried away and came back a moment later with a large glass of red wine and then Coup said,” He’s right, there is no way this is nature. If I were you I’d keep my focus on high alert.”
“This much is true whoever it is, must know that you are vulnerable. I would send several scout ships and see if there’s any unknown ships hanging around where they’re not supposed to,” said Dramkick smoothly as a robot brought him a small Cooblash sandwich.
Cooblash is a 4 legged bird that walks like a dog and mimics people’s voices exactly. A Cooblash sandwich is made from its’ head and left wing and is covered in Mosycu sauce which gives it a tongue awakening flavor.
“I’ll do exactly that and…I hope that you are wrong because as you said our troops are too weary for a war right now,” said Popaturn anxiously then he ran his hand across his brow.
In walked Sergeant Cor and he said,” They found Mela and she was injured, but not severely only her arm was broken. They’re bringing her here now, Pre Ma.”
“That is a relief, that woman is more resilient than a Dantrick Maveram,” said Coup quickly then he smiled.
A Dantrick Maveram is a species of bird that continuously dive bombs into the ground without ever severely injuring itself (because of its rubbery bones).
Peastro laughed and then said,” We should all get some rest for our newly free minds and bodies.”
“Done and done and I’ll take care of the scout ships,” said Popaturn then he stood up and walked out.
They went to their quarters and packed it in for the night.
Casting Bamoit through the Spakow
Dramkick awoke just as sunlight crept into his bedroom. He sat on the edge of his bed and then opened the dresser drawer of his nightstand. Inside he saw the book of Yealik and he reached in and grabbed it. He opened the book to a random page and it read,” Life is the written thoughts of the Builder as he dreamed it up before existence. The many decades he put into crafting the range of human emotions and the dimensions of dreams were his most treasured. For the thrill of triumph he inserted a thousandth of his greatest joy. For the pain of defeat he gave all his tears of loneliness. When he thought up child birth he gave us the truth of our own creation.”
Dramkick read and felt a calm come over him as his mind quieted and then he said out loud,” I never knew you until now, Builder, for that I am regretful.”
Dramkick read for the next 2 hours and his heart filled with relief and wonder. He had never been religious, because most religions were too demanding. Now he could see that there had been another like him who searched out for knowledge and the answers came back for his questions. Dramkick went through his morning routine and as he was walking through the garden he looked up and saw the sky filled with large black ships and whispered,” You don’t look friendly.”
“Dramkick, inside quickly!” shouted Mela from the doorway in front of Dramkick.
Dramkick started to move quickly towards the door and as he did there was an explosion behind him that flung him forward. He landed on top of Mela and the 2 fell into Foiv Castle in a heap.
“Are you alright?” asked Dramkick as he looked at Mela’s eyes from 3 inches away.
“I’m fine, we must get to a safer spot,” said Mela quickly.
Dramkick sprung up and helped Mela to her feet and then an explosion went off behind them.
Dramkick was covered in debris as was Mela, but they ran away from the blasts regardless. They ran into the robot museum and many of the Bron’s and other robots were missing.
Suddenly a large steel ball barreled through the ceiling and landed on top of Mela, crushing her torso, legs and head. There was hardly anything that was left of her peeking out from under the large steel ball. Her eyes glowed green and then they burst, and a flash came out of her eye sockets.
Dramkick looked down at what was left of Mela and shouted,” Mela, how could this be!” and then he teared up and said sternly,” I will always love you more the longer I live.”
Another steel ball burst through the ceiling and just missed Dramkick and he said nervously,” I must go, Mela, I’m sorry goodbye.”
Dramkick raced out of the robot museum and into the plasma aquarium. As he ran past the tanks another steel ball burst through the ceiling and destroyed the plasma force field-water and fish of all kinds came billowing out behind Dramkick. He ran out of the aquarium and into the dining hall where Coup met him at the door and asked,” Where is Mela?”
Dramkick looked at Coup for a few seconds and then said,” She’s dead, Coup, she’s back there under a steel ball. There was nothing I could do. Coup, it just happened.”
Coup put his hand on Dramkick’s mouth and shouted,” Don’t say it, DON’T EVER SAY IT!”
Coup started to go after Mela and Dramkick grabbed him and said sternly,” She’s dead and you’re dead if you go after her. We have to get out of here and now, Coup!”
Coup looked at Dramkick as he fought back tears and said sternly,” WE won’t forget her!”
“Never!” shouted Dramkick and then he pleaded,” Please, I don’t want to die here.”
Coup nodded yes to Dramkick and they ran towards the opposite end of the room when another steel ball hit where they were just standing. They looked at each other wide-eyed and raced to the doors at the far end as dozens of steel balls rained down on the room barely missing them. They burst through the doors and saw that there was an enormous crater where the ceiling had been. Then they saw a shuttle fly into the room and land in front of them. The hatch swung open and it was Peastro and he shouted,” Hurry, the war’s about us!”
Dramkick and Coup ran up the ramp and the hatch slammed behind them. The shuttle lifted into the air and headed for a large battleship in the sky. The shuttle was getting hit by small laser bursts from a white fighter jet. Peastro jumped into the gunnery chair and bombarded the white fighter jet repeatedly until he hit its fuel cell. It incinerated in a circular flash and its wreckage fell to the ground.
“A little morning death, fills my sails,” said Peastro snidely then he stood up and walked over to Coup and Dramkick and asked,” Why so glum?”
“Mela didn’t make it she’s gone now,” said Coup coldly as he let out a sigh.
Peastro paused for a few seconds and then said,” That’s terrible news, Coup, the worst there is. I can’t believe it I just can’t believe it. I’m sorry this happened, Coup.”
“Well, thank you. What has to happen now is retribution. Whoever these people are and whatever their reasons were for attacking are no concern. I want each and every one of them to die by horrible means. This is our charge now, Men, this is our purpose,” said Coup snidely as he looked dead straight ahead.
“We’ll lay waste to them they’re blood will ooze from the hillsides,” said Dramkick coldly.
The shuttle flew into the hangar bay of a large battleship and everyone exited the shuttle hurriedly.
They were met by Popaturn who walked up to them and said,” We’ve received a hail from our attackers.
Please hurry, Pre Ma, you must see this.”
They followed Popaturn to Rerni Realm. Once inside Popaturn started the hail from the attackers and it appeared on the monitor. It was a dark yellow skinned man with black intersecting lines all over his body. He was 9 foot tall and had an enormous muscular torso and large tree trunk legs. His head was part man part machine-with a keypad and input port in his forehead. He had a metal pyramid coming out of the top of his head. His hair parted around the keypad on either side and was dark green, thick, curly, and long down to his chest. He had a nose that was similar to a banana and his mouth had 4 large fangs on either side that hung over his bottom lip. He was wearing a black chest mail and a necklace of small men running around his neck perpetually. He also had on a gold ring that appeared to be liquid, but stayed on his finger. He also had on a green cloth kilt and large furry brown boots.
“Hellooo…I am Emperor Dermitch Bamoit and I am your master. I rule over the Pudren and now you as well. We will take all of your resources and leave you the scraps to battle over. Most of you will die in this battle, because that’s what makes me happy. Those of you who fight and survive will be my slaves until my dagger kisses your neck on a whim. If any of you dare to look upon me in the flesh it will be the last sight your eyes do see as I’ll tear them out. I have no respect for anyone or anything so do not try and barter any deals with me, for I make no deals! I only ask that you concede defeat now and lay down and die in the hopes that we can speed up the process. Do not feel anger swell up inside you all is lost make your peace now,” said Emperor Dermitch coldly as he puffed on a long hose from a nicotine pump.
“I like him, he will die a terrible death and gasp with those- how could it happen to me eyes-as I rip his head form his body. I must ask you, Coup, to control your anger until we can get the upper hand on this Dermitch,” said Dramkick calmly as he rubbed his chin.
“Of course, but I must get my blows in on this one. I can’t just leave him to you. Mela wouldn’t allow it,” said Coup sternly then he looked at Dramkick and they exchanged knowing looks.
“So negotiations are out,” Coup declared as he tapped his forehead.
“That would lend itself to a lengthy battle. Well, wars are for winning, how soon can we get the Bron’s in the air?” asked Peastro brightly as he turned to Popaturn.
“We’re sending them out as we speak. And now the battle begins,” said Popaturn coldly as he looked at the monitor and saw the Brons leap from the belly of their battleship-and start jumping on the Pudren ships.
Two of the Brons jumped simultaneously onto a Pudren battleship and pummeled the ship with lightning blows. The Pudren countered with a high energy particle blast that hit one of the Bron’s and spun him backwards, but he grabbed hold of the edge of the ship before he fell to the ground below. He proceeded to fling itself high in the air and as it fell it spun rapidly. When it landed on top of the Pudren ship it tore a gaping hole.
“That’s magnificent mayhem!” shouted Dramkick as he watched the Brons attack.
“It gets even better watch when the Bron’s get inside of the ship’s core. Then it will be pure devastation,” said Peastro enthusiastically as he clenched his fists.
“Those Bron’s were the death of the Vindijan’s. We couldn’t believe their size or agility or their speed. It still amazes me to this day,” said Coup thoughtfully then he pulled out a cigarette and smoked it.
The 2 Brons thrashed through the center of the Pudren ship and in a giant explosion a second later the Brons flew out of the wreckage. The Pudren ship fell to the ground in a fiery heap.
“That was breathtaking! These Pudrens aren’t long for this world,” said Dramkick snidely.
“They’ll be their own undoing I assure you,” said Peastro smoothly.
Just then a square battleship entered the atmosphere and lying on top of its launch pad was an 800
yard long red robot known as the Spakow. It has jagged edges that would slice through anything it touched. Its arms have large canons on them, as well as missiles. Inside its chest is a sound canon that can
fire a pulse that will shatter most weak metals. On its head there is a third eye that has the ability to fire balls of high powered radiation to cripple most attackers. Inside its belly are hundreds of smaller beetle like robots-called Porgeap’s-that when released infest ships with toxic chemicals and destroy their computers. The Spakow is piloted by 3 Pudren Generals who each control a different weapon’s cash on the Spakow. It also has jet propulsion and can weave in and out of enemy ships wreaking havoc.
The Spakow’s jets ignited and it spun in a circle on its back then it shot straight up into the air. It flew by Nor battleships and randomly punching holes in their sides.
“What in the Terious is that?” asked Peastro stunned at what he saw.
“It’s a long battle instead of a short. Well if we’re smart we’ll get out of the air and get some place safe. If that thing targets us we’re dead,” urged Dramkick as he looked at Peastro.
Peastro looked at the giant Spakow and said,” There’s no jest in that statement. There’s an underground command center we can hole up in. That would be our best bet let’s get out of here.”
Their battleship flew out of the range of the Spakow and landed in a green field. There were small blue marble buildings with grass growing thick over most of it-except for a set of white ivory doors that had Peastro’s visage on each. There was also a stone pathway with Culby and Yerpo Lle’s faces on each stone-that snaked its way to the doors. Dramkick saw the stones as he exited the battleship and laughed and asked sarcastically,” Is it appropriate for me to walk all over your family?”
“It is today,” said Peastro smoothly with a smirk.
Dramkick smiled and then they hurried through the downpour of rain and up to the doors. Peastro spit into the saliva lock and a blue light appeared over the doors and they opened slowly. Behind the doors there was a fake children’s library that was put there to disguise the true identity of the building.
There was also a book case of every children’s book on Goldva (as well as several holograms of the well known children’s characters like Sinopy).
Sinopy is a half-man half-hair brush that appears in several cartoons and movies. He is known for the saying,” You can’t stop me, I’ve got pep!” He was created by Dr. Smillo Gey-a famous surgeon who came up with the character to help his young son Boe learn to read. Dr. Gey and his son traveled all over Goldva promoting Sinopy up until his passing 10 years ago.
Peastro walked up to the Sinopy statue and pushed in its right eye. Instantly the statue slid aside and behind it there was an elevator. Everyone walked inside and then they rocketed to the bottom. They exited the elevator and entered the command center where General Stram was waiting for them with his arms behind his back.
“Pre Ma, we’re making great progress with our air attacks and we are devastating their ground offensive,” said General Stram then he walked with Peastro over to the holograms of the battle.
“That’s good to hear, General Stram, how are we faring against that giant robot of theirs?” asked Peastro as he pointed to the Spakow.
“Well, not well we’ve been unable to make even a dent in his outer armor. We’ve got 3 Bron’s wrestling with him as we speak as you can see here,” explained General Stram as he motioned to a hologram of Spakow.
They could see the Brons being browbeaten, but still were fighting tenaciously as they punched the Spakow over and over again. Then Spakow fired a radiation burst from his chest that just missed one Bron, but hit another and his circuits shorted out and he fell helplessly to the ground below. One of the remaining Bron’s did a front flip and landed on Spakow’s face plate, smashing through it with a 2 legged kick. His 2 feet were inside the cockpit where the 3 Pudren Generals were hiding. The 2 generals grabbed their laser rifles and blasted away at the Bron’s feet.
“That kick to the head seems to have slowed him down a bit. This is getting interesting get the other Bron to attack the head with a 2 legged kick,” ordered Peastro then he sat down and was handed a Breask and a glass of wine. Peastro asked,” Where’d the Breask come from?”
“We had our chemists work on it. See if you like it,” said General Stram happily as he called in Peastro’s order
“Breask, did someone say Breask oh, Dear boy, I must have some. It’s been far too long since I’ve felt the kiss of Breask,” said Coup to the servant who brought Peastro the Breask.
The servant walked over to a cabinet and came back with a large red bottle of Breask and handed it to Coup.
“Oh yes, you are a friend of the Builder no doubt,” said Coup to the servant then he took 3 pills and let out a sigh.
“Well don’t count me out of the festivities,” said Dramkick smoothly then he took 2 Breask.
They watched as the second Bron broke free of the Spakow’s grasp and climbed up to its face. Bron lifted his feet high then thrust them through Spakow’s face plate. The blow crushed one of the General’s against the back wall, while General Tipot frantically ran for the escape pod. The green haired 4th General Ramsea-who was in the belly cockpit-continued to attack the Nor vessels when they came close. General Mohad got into his escape pod, but just as he did the Bron punched his escape pod flat killing him instantly.
“You know this Breask is outstanding. I can fell a surge of power already. How about you, Coup, is it to your liking?” asked Peastro as he crossed his legs.
“Fine, better than fine I can feel my vigor coming back once again,” said Coup in a dry tone as he flexed his arm muscles.
“You know it seems their robot is faltering. He’s barely attacking now, he’s just flying aimlessly,”
said Dramkick then he walked up closer to the hologram of Spakow and said,” See he looks done for look at the smoke and flames hee he hee.”
“He’s about had it, General Stram, send it a goodbye message courtesy of our nearest battleship.
Have them focus their attack on the head,” said Peastro then he took a sip from his glass of wine.
General Stram sent in the order and a few moments later 2 battleships pulled into position. They started blasting mercilessly at Spakow’s head, slowly but surely it started to smoke and then suddenly it exploded in one large sonic boom. The entire Spakow vaporized leaving only its outline in smoke and ash.
“It must have self destructed when it saw it was lost,” said Dramkick.
“Of course, it would have killed their morale to see its fiery shell fall to the ground. These Pudren are ruthless and they are wise. I think there will be many surprises from them in the future,” said Peastro then he pursed his lips and furrowed his brow.
“Let’s not give them too much credit, but that being said, we very well may have to destroy them all.
Dermitch is a man with a ticket to Terious and he’s more than willing to take all of his soldiers with him.
To win this one we may have to figure out a way to assassinate him,” said Coup as he levitated off the floor and spun gently.
“He is their strength and without him this war would end quickly, but how do we find him when there are ten thousand ships in the air and countless more just outside?” asked Dramkick as he began to pace slowly back and forth.
Peastro sat and tried to think of a way to find him and then it hit him and he said,” We won’t look just yet. We’ll battle for a few weeks or months, and as we are we’ll keep track of each ship’s battle tactics. Ya see whichever ship he’s in will fight, but also be extremely protective of itself. And, the ships
near to it will do exactly the same to protect it. So if we see a cluster of ships protecting a particular one then there’s our Dermitch and we bring the full power of our forces right… on top of his evil head.”
The 7 walks of Cambler Origh
For the next several days Peastro and General Stram went about putting scouts on every Nor ship to watch the Pudren vessels and try to find Dermitch. They had each of the scout’s keep a video log of each ship and also were told to write down their observations of the Pudren.
After Peastro had briefed the scouts he went with Coup and Dramkick to Koraxis-by underground train. Koraxis is a 30 mile long enclosed city beneath the surface of Goldva that is still being partially constructed. It was commissioned to be built in the event that Goldva was under attack (by the Zepre over 50 years prior). It was a totally self-sufficient city with livestock, lush gardens, a fuel cell that could last 200 years and power the whole city as well as enough preserved food to last for 200 years. It has hundreds of large chateaus, a shopping mall, a dozen movie theaters, apartment buildings, and of course a large flower garden that goes through the center of Koraxis and out along its edges. The Nor had figured out a way to recreate sunlight so their city would still be able to get direct sunlight even being 13 miles underground.
They sped along at 300 miles per hour as they gradually descended farther and farther into Goldva.
Inside the train-called the Postly Gre-Peastro, Dramkick, Coup, and General Stram sat in comfortable black leather chairs each doing their own form of relaxation. Coup was taking apart a robot as fast as he could and then reassembling it with equal speed. He felt this sharpened his mind to do something very tedious, but to do it with speed and precision.
Dramkick was playing violin and staring out the window at the passing lights and creatures in the ground. While Peastro thought passionately about a former failure and then reorganized the memory so that he could actually remember the memory differently until he saw himself succeeding instead. He
focused on the day of Morn’s death and inserted a vivid memory of him saving her life by pushing her out of the way.
General Stram was doing one arm pushups where he launched himself 3 feet off the floor with each pushup. And as he did he hummed along beautifully to Dramkick’s violin playing.
Suddenly the pulse sounded that they were nearing Koraxis and everyone eased slowly out of their relaxation mode. A few seconds later they came out of the tunnel and saw Koraxis in all its glory in front of them. There were 5 million permanent residents-who were chosen from a lottery-who were given the right to live in and take care of Koraxis. As the train slowed it went through a large bust of Sepsem V.
Nor with a wide smile on his face. They stopped in front of a large pond where many people were swimming as well as boating and fishing.
“This will cleanse us of the horrors of war. That is a certainty,” said Coup gleefully then he flashed a goofy grin and stuck out his tongue at Peastro.
Peastro smiled and said coyly,” I love that you’re in good spirits. I hate to see you suffer, Coup.”
“You rascal, all right so we’ve each done some horrible things. Life goes on and we must get ahead of the maddening horde or it’s our heads they will use as their punching targets,” said Coup then he danced away from Peastro.
“He’s right we all need a break from this situation. And just think, Dermitch is out there somewhere racking his brain over the days kill total while we’re enjoying a beautiful day in a wondrous place, bye, bye, he, hee,” said Dramkick then he ran and did a somersault flipping twice and dove into the pond.
Peastro levitated out over the pond and looked down at Dramkick and said,” These are the days of our lives the others…precursor.”
Peastro fell backwards into the pond and let his body sink to the bottom. Then he looked around at a school of Niro fish that were swimming by, smiled and waved to them. He levitated at full speed upwards and burst out of the pond. He spun at incredible speed until his clothes were dry and then stopped to see Coup and Dramkick lying on a patch of grass smoking Tut cigarettes. Peastro levitated over to them and lay down beside them and said,” What a day for a day. Who’s packin’ the smokes?”
“That would be me here you go, Pre Ma,” said Coup as he handed Peastro a cigarette and then said softly,” It can never get too tranquil for me.”
“On Membra I can remember a day when I awoke and couldn’t hear a sound for over an hour. I snapped my fingers to make sure I wasn’t deaf and of course I wasn’t,” mused Dramkick and then he continued,” A busy world that ceased in its tracks for a solid hour. I think of that day and that hour when I’m worrying that something isn’t possible. I know I’ll savor that hour more than a few thousand times in the years to come. And you know what sound ended the silence?” asked Dramkick as he looked at Peastro and then Coup.
“No, what was it?” asked Coup.
“A bomb blast went off in a restaurant downtown. It didn’t bother me because the way I saw it…I got my hour and most people never do,” said Dramkick as he looked at the fake blue sky above.
Coup and Peastro said nothing and just continued daydreaming. A small boy-with bright blue hair and dark green eyes-named Taxum walked over to Dramkick and asked,” How do I get to be so big and strong like you ‘cause I wanna real bad?”
“Well, Son, lift as much weight as you can as many times as you can and little armies of muscle builders, will start stretching your muscles from the inside out. Then one day you’ll wake up and you’ll hardly see your bones under your mountains of muscles,” said Dramkick warmly then he gave the boy a smile and a wink.
Taxum giggled and pulled up his sleeve, showing Dramkick his left bicep. Taxum said,” I needs to get me my armies.”
“That’s right, Son, and you’ll be the General of those armies. So how does that sound?” asked Dramkick then he squeezed the boy’s bicep.
“Pretty good,” said Taxum then he ran away.
After an hour at the pond they made their way to the Minto Chateau. They made their first order of business to play a game of Cemenget Ball in the gym.
Cemenget ball is played wearing magnetic suits and a grapefruit sized metal plated ball (known as a Gilwe) and a cone shaped goal that has 8 pockets that award higher points depending on which one you threw your opponent into. You see the Gilwe have a powerful reverse magnetic charge. It also has a special mechanism that causes it to not work on the person holding it. So if you hit someone with it-or just got it near them-it would blast them in the opposite direction. And because all 3 players are floating on a powerful cushion of air it is easy to send players flying towards the pockets. The first player to get a player into 30 points worth of pockets is the winner. The pockets range from 5 points for the largest to 30
for the smallest.
The pockets are star shaped and filled with blue lights and there are 5 on each of the 4 walls. All 3
players started out in the center of the room and then the Gilwe was shot up through a silver hole in the floor (and it was every man for himself).
Coup, Peastro, and Dramkick surrounded the silver hole-known as the Miff-and waited.
“You know I love a good Hool steak with a side of Pent. So go ahead and make mental preparations for your cooking assignment, Dramkick,” said Coup jokingly then he playfully elbowed Dramkick and Peastro.
“A Vindijan like you has got to know his way around the kitchen and if not this will give you a fine chance to learn. Go ahead and make my steak bloody,” said Dramkick sarcastically then he gently slapped Coup’s face.
“I don’t know if this is a fair contest considering your each so close to grim death. Maybe we should just watch a movie and hear some more of your old war stories,” said Peastro sarcastically then he patted both of them on the head.
Coup and Dramkick looked at each other wide-eyed and then shrugged their shoulders as Coup said,” Hunger does such strange things to…”
Suddenly the Gilwe burst out of the silver hole and as it fell towards Coup Peastro grabbed his ankle and flung him out of the way and shouted,” Not today, Old Man!”
Dramkick grabbed Peastro’s back and lifted him up high then grabbed the Gilwe and shouted,” Old men run everything, Young Pup, including you!” Dramkick came down with the Gilwe and threw it at Peastro and its magnetic force blew him towards the 10 point pocket and in. Peastro climbed out of the pocket and was obviously embarrassed. Dramkick and Coup laughed at him.
Peastro saw this and rolled his eyes and then said sternly,” Those will be the last points you get so enjoy them.”
Dramkick and Coup exchanged a look and then they took their places and waited for the Gilwe. It burst high into the air and the 3 of them jostled back and forth trying to hold their position. Dramkick reached high for the Gilwe, but just as he was about to grab it Peastro chopped his elbow with the side of his hand.
Peastro grabbed the Gilwe, smiled at Coup and Dramkick and asked,” So my lovely, Hool Nuggets, who shall it be?”
“Go for Dramkick he just put you in the goal,” said Coup as he kept his eye on the Gilwe and kept his distance.
“Don’t listen to him, Peastro, he’s trying to save his own skin. You know he’d blast you if he could,”
said Dramkick quickly as he tried to get close to Coup.
“You’re right,” said Peastro plainly then he blasted Dramkick with the Gilwe. It sent him hurling into the 20 point pocket. Dramkick gathered himself and hurried back over to Coup and Peastro.
“I am not defeated just yet and I wouldn’t smile so heartedly, Coup, as you are still scoreless. Come on Gilwe right into my hands!” shouted Dramkick as he smiled wildly.
Coup and Peastro burst out laughing and then the Gilwe came flying out. It went even higher this time and all 3 were virtually wrestling one another as they waited. As the Gilwe descended Dramkick was being held down with Coup on one arm and Peastro on the other. Coup let go unexpectedly and Peastro and Dramkick fell onto their backs.
Coup grabbed the Gilwe and said snidely,” Oh sweet Gilwe we meet at last! My darling our love for one another can’t be denied. Those fools thought they could tear us down, but they couldn’t not today, not now my love Gilwe,” said Coup softly then he kissed the Gilwe.
Dramkick and Peastro looked at each other perplexed and then Peastro said,” He really is a bad winner. That’s one trait that’s impossible to shed, Builder knows I’ve tried. Alright, Coup, put us out of our misery. Who’s it gonna be?”
Coup danced a few steps and then said brightly,” These moments are so dire and important that they will take all of my faculties. When I was young I remember my friend Wondy saying, someday Coup you’ll be playing Cemenget with 2 buffoons and you’ll remember me and my advice to you.”
“Which is?” asked Dramkick anxiously as he prepared to be hit.
Then Coup blasted Dramkick sending him into the 25 point pocket head first and said coldly,”
Whoever speaks first gets the Gilwe!”
Dramkick again picked himself up and hurried back over to Coup and Peastro who were dancing with each other.
“Dance if you must, but I shall be victorious. Can only the stars see it?” asked Dramkick then he gave Peastro and Coup a gentle shove. The Gilwe blasted out of the floor and they all fought passionately to catch it as it fell. It drew close and Dramkick tossed Peastro and Coup aside and grabbed the Gilwe as he shouted,” Let there be dancing!” Then he juggled the Gilwe and passed it through his legs. Dramkick said softly,” Alright make your cases and make them well.”
“You might as well hit me. Let’s face it Coup’s old and he’s feeble, and his weak physique isn’t strong enough to take the blow,” said Peastro as he closed his eyes and put his arms up in the air and then said,” Go ahead, let me have it.”
Dramkick smiled and then asked,” Is this true, Coup, are you too less of a man to take the blow?”
Coup smiled slightly and then said,” Go ahead, Dramkick, go ahead and blast Peastro into the pocket.”
“What, you’d sell me out you old Hool Nugget. I take it back blast him and blast him good,” said Peastro sternly as he gave Coup a soft slap.
“Hool nugget, you 2 pound Densk covered in gravy, I could kick your butt but good,” said Coup sternly then he slapped Peastro’s chest.
“Alright…I’ve made my decision and it’s final. It is you and I mean it,” said Dramkick with a smirk.
“Who?” asked Coup.
Dramkick winked at Coup, smiled and Coup pleaded,” No, you wouldn’t use my own tactic against me that’s just…well it’s something Peastro would do.”
Peastro laughed and Dramkick acted like he was going to throw it at Peastro causing him to cringe, but then he blasted Coup right in his unsuspecting belly. This launched high into the 30 point pocket. The lights dimmed and a hologram of the winning shot appeared in the center and the song We Are Death Bringers started to play on the sound system.
Coup stumbled over to Peastro and Dramkick then just as he got to them he levitated up into the air and shouted happily,” I love this song, the back beat’s incredible.”
“You fought hard, Coup, but there is only one Dramkick Reign and so it was cast,” said Dramkick snidely as he smiled.
“Have fun in the kitchen, Coup, keep my steak bloody and my Tapi pie slightly chilled. Helps with the flavor,” said Peastro jokingly then he and Dramkick walked away leaving Coup behind.
Tapi pie is made from a purple fruit and chocolate pudding. It also has a circle of alcohol on top that is lit just before eating.
While Coup cooked dinner Dramkick and Peastro watched a documentary of Cambler Origh.
Cambler was a famous con man who had stolen vast fortunes from rich older women. He would totally reinvent himself after every heist. He even went to such lengths as to change his walk and body language so that he was literally someone else. He was so good at changing his appearance that many times old friends would look him in the eye and not recognize him. His older sister was talking with him as she waited for a table at a restaurant and had no idea it was him. He never let on and she sat down to eat not knowing what had just happened. Cambler’s greatest heist-and the one that eventually led to his downfall-was when he married estranged twin sisters each for only a year. Then he divorced them and took 66% of their wealth which was Nor law for the poorer divorcee. And he never would have been caught if not for a
chance liaison with one of the sister’s where he thought he was talking to a different sister and she caught on that he had duped them both. He spent 1 year in prison before he was able to buy his way out of jail with a hefty bribe. Once out Cambler was right back at it, until a jilted ex-lover did him in with a ballpoint pen.
“How does a guy like this Cambler ever get the nerve to pull these scams over and over again, it astounds me?” asked Peastro as he sat on a white leather couch inside the Portabell lounge.
The room has a 15 foot long white leather couch. There is also a 12 foot by 15 foot TV that is built into the wall in front of the couch. On the 3 other walls are paintings of hands and smiling children drawn by Ormadab.
Ormadab was a homeless man who suffered from mental illness, but after years of refusing to take government housing he did agree to take an experimental drug called Joepole. Within a few days he was completely healed. Then he got into government housing and started painting. His work was an instant success and he was world renowned for his brush strokes. With his new found riches he walked up and down city streets twice daily and randomly giving out large gold coins-even to small children who could barely carry the large coins.
“Well, ya see a guy like this Cambler probably started with small lies as a child and as he aged they became more massive and well thought out. Then there came a point where he actually believed them himself. Once he got to that point he could deceive anyone and feel no remorse. On Membra we call these men Bollyips and in our case I call you friend, Peastro, he, hee, hah,” said Dramkick jokingly then he gave Peastro a gentle shove to the shoulder as he sat beside him.
“At least I’m appreciated, Builder knows I need it. So, Dramkick Bollyips when did you decide to live a life of uncanny deception?” asked Peastro with a smirk.
“Oh many, many seconds ago,” replied Dramkick as he stretched out his arms. “It’s a decision that has haunted me oh these many moments and one I will regret for at least another 6 or 7 breaths from now,” said Dramkick sarcastically as he pretended to be filling with air.
“Well don’t let it bring you down. You’re a great person and a pretty good friend and so what if everything you say is a lie. You’re topnotch in my book even top drawer right beside my socks, I mean it,” said Peastro sarcastically as he looked at Dramkick.
Dramkick laughed and as he did Coup walked in with 2 female servants in white cotton mini-dresses carrying the food beside him. The women set up 3 small tables in front of all 3 of them and put their meals-and bottles of Tratos red wine-on the table as well as 3 Breask pills for each of them.
“It looks like real food, nice job, Coup, I was rooting for you,” said Peastro then he started eating his steak.
“Thank you, but the steaks actually part Terbenesse rat. I had to make due,” said Coup coyly as he looked at Peastro and smiled.
Peastro stopped chewing for a second then swallowed hard and said,” I always loved rat it gives me a full flavored aftertaste. I can’t wait to try the Tapi pie hopefully less rat in that one.”
“A bit yes,” said Coup quickly with a tut cigarette moving through his fingers.
Peastro looked at Coup with a frown and then said happily,” Good enough for me.”
Peastro took a large bite of his Tapi pie and let out sigh of satisfaction. Dramkick had been steadily eating his meal and hadn’t been paying much attention to Coup or Peastro. His thoughts were of Mela and specifically how he missed her. He wished she could have been there to enjoy this meal, but he knew not to mention her and spoil the dinner. Then he thought of his fleet that had been sitting unattended just out of Sras Oblique’s atmosphere. He wondered how they were holding up. Then it dawned on him that they
were needed here in this battle and he said,” Peastro, I can’t believe this hadn’t dawned on any of us, but we need to get our respective armies here to end this war. If my Vor Me soldiers were here this battle would end very rapidly. And if you combined that with your troops this Dermitch would be annihilated.”
“That is the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen, we were all so wrapped up in this war and what we just went through, that we completely forgot about our own armies. Well, here’s what I do, I’ll send word to my troops to be here immediately and I’ll get you the means to contact your troops. I can’t believe that just happened it’s like our brains were just turned off,” said Peastro in amazement then his eyes opened wide.
“We may be experiencing a form of brainwashing. Those Comicide sessions could be lingering in our subconscious minds,” said Coup as he furrowed his brow.
“That’s a good point that Hoevra Eposical’s little forced therapy may be harder to shake then we thought. Let’s be careful to keep our minds sharp in the future and also be aware that damage was done.
Let’s face it, what we all collectively forgot was not a small thing and would have never happened usually,” said Dramkick as he stood up and walked across the room.
“That terrifies me, what if there’s permanent damage. We may never be the same again. If that’s the case Eposical can’t be allowed to live. We must find him and destroy him,” said Coup sternly as he ran his fingers through his hair quickly.
Screaming Through the Bushpru Ceiling
After Peastro had sent word to his troops they took to the air on the long voyage to Goldva.
Dramkick’s fleet was also contacted and went quick to the business of getting to Goldva. Peastro, Dramkick, and Coup spent 3 days in Koraxis before they decided to spend 1 more day beneath the surface of Goldva and then get back to the business of Dermitch.
Today they were at the Music Minute Coliseum. What it consisted of was small 1 minute versions of every song ever written that were played as you walked by certain sections of the Coliseum. The songs would play as you walked and holographic interpretations of each song would follow you through the section. There were also couches and chairs in each as well as servants to take care of your needs. Each room was alive with vibrant colored moving wallpaper-called Catkim-that constantly moved and changed its color and design.
The 3 of them walked into the Woodbaby section and their song Too Many Questions started to play as they entered. It was a moving guitar ballad that dealt with the theme of a new father and his endless questions about how to raise and take care of his new child. As they walked through Dramkick was still having a hard time with Mela’s death. He turned to Coup and said,” Coup, Mela was a brilliant and beautiful woman who loved every second of every day. I say this to you, Coup, because I want you to know what I really thought of her. I also want you to know you don’t have to internalize this pain. We could help each other through this terrible time.”
“Well, Dramkick, I haven’t mentioned her because the wound is still so fresh. As a Vindijan I already know that I have to deal with this pain soon or it will linger through much of my life. The problem is…there’s a part of me that almost wants it to linger, because I feel I’ve let Mela down and I should suffer. Then there’s a part of me that selfishly wants a chunk of my daily thoughts to be of Mela so
that I can make excuses, for terrible things I might do to people. I know it’s a horrible thing to say but…there aren’t any other women for me,” said Coup plainly as he looked at the Catkim.
Peastro put his hand on Coup’s shoulder and said,” Coup, I know you’ve got a powerful grasp of it all, but I’ve gone through the death of my wife Morn as well. And I can tell you in all honesty that there is another out there for you. The Builder will give you another chance at happiness.”
“Peastro, I don’t want to hear that right now!” thundered Coup and then he teared up and said softly,” I just can’t hear it, I won’t she was all I needed to give me hope. She was more than my wife, more than my friend! She was the only thing that I ever asked for from the Builder. And now he’s taken her!” shouted Coup as he punched his own chest and started crying uncontrollably.
Peastro started to tear up and then tried to embrace Coup, but he pushed him away.
“Please, Coup, we loved her too,” said Dramkick as he looked at Coup and offered his hand.
“No, no she’s not dead she isn’t! There been a mistake it was all a terrible lie! I don’t want to hear otherwise we’re going right now to her room and we’re going to get her and take her on an adventure.
O.K. let’s go,” said Coup as he wept and tried to leave the room and Peastro and Dramkick stopping him.
“It’s not o.k., Coup, it never will be, but it’s here it is real and it is now. And you have got to let her go and let it all out right here and now,” said Peastro sternly as he kept Coup from leaving.
“Ahhh!” shouted Coup and then he fell to the ground and shouted,” I can’t take it, Mela, I am in pain! Please just let it kill me now!”
Peastro and Dramkick hugged Coup for several minutes and wept with him. They stood up and walked slowly and silently into the next section. Coup had a smile on his face and said softly,” Thank you.”
Peastro nodded yes as did Dramkick and they came into the Parncake band’s section. There was a massage bed and a hot tub, as well as a TV that was showing the Bushpru.
The Bushpru is a club of sorts that is comprised of the smartest Nor on Goldva. And what they did together was to have month long brainstorming sessions in which they attempted to find answers to problems facing Goldva. They did this in a roundtable format where 1 question would be posed and they would throw random answers at the problem until someone came up with the direction they wanted to go in. Once they had that they would go into great detail how this would improve the problem. Each of their Coyap sessions-as they were called-were broadcast live and every 12 hours new Bushpru members would come in and attack the problem with a new energy. This happened while the others took a much needed rest. They all sat in hovering egg shaped recliners that were all facing the Aspot-which was the person who kept them on point-and were brought refreshments and meals during each Coyap. Today’s issue is about the feud between the Brenna and Uckly families.
The feud has been happening for over 3 centuries and had started when Stom Brenna molested Bid Uckly’s young daughter. What ensued was a bloody knife battle between the 2 families. And ever since bloodshed was part of the routine for the 26,000 Brenna and the 51,000 Uckly’s.
“This is the room we should relax in,” said Coup as he sat down on the massage bed.
“That’s got my Garly Yep,” said Peastro quickly as he disrobed and got in the hot tub.
A Garly Yep is a city’s combined vote. And it means they are all in agreement.
“Yes we should stay here, what is this show we’re watching?” asked Dramkick as he sat on the edge of the hot tub with just his bare feet dangling in the water.
“This is the Bushpru and what they do is rigorously debate common problems on Goldva. They’ve solved many over the years and this show is treasured by the Nor,” said Peastro then he threw his eyes to the TV.
On the screen the Aspot-who was a bulbous green skinned man named Roed-was saying loudly,” If the Brenna can’t give the Uckly’s the benefit of the doubt in this latest murder than there can be no reconciliation among the families. There needs to be an understanding among the families. There needs to be an understanding between the 2 clans that enough is enough and they should start anew. Let this battle of pride be no more.”
“That is a fool’s rational and a coward’s plan. There needs to be a large war between the 2 families that will settle it once and for all. All the handshakes and pleasantries won’t do a thing to help the situation! Let them fight with all they’ve got for their own futures!” shouted Duke Seal as he waved his hands wildly.
Duke Seals is orange skinned with long blonde hair that has 6 ponytails tied into it. He is 6’7” and incredibly thin and tone. His face is like a sharpie with endless flaps of skin and is covered in brown fur like hair. He is wearing a dark green robe and black round rimmed sunglasses.
“That’s heresy and the dumbest thing you’ve said today. If you weren’t such a bumbling buffoon I’d take half the things you’ve said seriously. If we let these 2 families have their private war there won’t be any of them left. Neither side would give an inch in battle. So, Duke, just take your crazy pills and go get it on with that hot wife of yours,” said Quarterblo Heese as he mimicked Duke’s hand motions.
Quarterblo Heese is grey haired and his hair is cut to be a perfect 4 sides pyramid on top. He is 5’7”
and 156 pounds of soft and weak. His eyes are glowing dark blue with green star shaped pupils. His nose is like a baseball bat. He is wearing a black robe and emerald medallion around his neck that plays his favorite scene from the movie Scammed With Love continuously with the soundtrack.
Scammed With Love is a war biopic that centers around the love between a medic and a dying patient who miraculously survives his wounds. Then they embark on a life on the lamb after they rob the army’s payroll office. The scene where Dopter and Carains make love for the 1st time is the scene that plays in the medallion.
“Coming from an adulterer who cheated on his wife with 4 different women I think we can all assume that all you’re capable of is lies and stupidity,” said Duke as a wry smile came across his face.
“Oh is that right, and all this comes from an admitted drug addict and wine guzzler. Why don’t you enlighten us all with your picturesque view of it all. We can’t wait,” said Quarterblo proudly then he bowed to the others.
“What, those charges were never proven and you know that, Quarterblo. How dare you even mention that talk about stabbing a friend in the back and twisting it,” said Duke as he looked fiercely at Quarterblo.
“The back, I’ll stab you right in the front. I slept with your wife Calane last night. And if you don’t believe it take a look at my hand print on her left butt cheek,” said Quarterblo as he laughed.
“I’ll kill you dead if you touched Calane!” thundered Duke as he glared at Quarterblo.
“Well let’s go, Old Man, I was all over her sexy body and had both hands on her Posily tattoo on her breasts,” said Quarterblo as he goaded Duke with a side to side head motion.
“There’s no way you could’ve known that I’d end your life!” shouted Duke as he jumped over the chairs and ran around the Aspot-who tried to stop him with his hands.
Quarterblo ran up and did a somersault, kicking Duke in the face and breaking his nose. Duke tried to grab hold of Quarterblo, but he was too quick. Duke threw a roundhouse and hit Quarterblo in the forehead. The other Bushpru tried to pull the 2 men apart, but they continued to attack. Quarterblo gouged Duke’s left eye and almost tore it out causing blood to gush down his face. Then Duke threw 3 punch combination hitting Quarterblo in the throat, mouth, and ribs. Quarterblo fell backwards in severe pain and the Bushpru pulled Duke back away from him and as they did he shouted,” You don’t mess with love, Quarterblo!”
Dramkick, Peastro, and Coup burst out laughing at the scene they were watching. Coup quipped,”
This show is so far beyond good. It reminds me of my wedding night.”
“Come on your wedding night was never this tame,” said Peastro as he looked at Coup for a reaction.
Coup smiled and asked,” Always the rascal eh, Peastro, I wonder where these people come from?”
“What do you mean?” asked Dramkick as he looked over at Coup.
“Well, no one in this room has ever, or would ever do what these people have done. No one I know would even think in their way for more than a moment. So I’ll ask you a second time and this time I’ll put a finer point on it, why did the Builder create these other people? And for Builder’s sake why did he create so many? There are so many of these poorly functioning brains that it boggles the mind,” said Coup then he rolled over onto his right side.
“You’re not the first person to wonder these things. The thought that keeps coming back to me is, what if they’re the fascinating. What I mean is if everyone was like us, life would get pretty boring. But since these people exist and do ridiculous and fascinating things on a daily basis, it gives us and those like us a steady stream of joy and amazement. The Builder as you called it is smarter than any of us and if I had to guess I bet it’s the reason I just said as well as something else more profound,” said Dramkick then he stood up and walked over to the fridge and grabbed a Mr. Hoyblats ice cream bar.
Mr. Hoyblats’ ice cream bars are 2 inches thick and have 12 thin layers of chocolate ground nuts, cones, and chocolate ice cream. Mr. Ceveer Hoyblats was a 57th century prophet who wrote a list of 1,009
decisions a person should make in their life. They are from a decision to leave a girlfriend to the decision to take another bite of pie after you are full. His contention was that there were only 1,009 decisions you needed to experience to have had a full life and to develop into an interesting person. Hoyblats himself had made the decision to marry 9 times as well as the decision to have children 26 times. But his final decision was to leave a map to an unbelievable fortune on the back of his will and testament. His last wife
Ducil discovered the map and followed it deep into a wood tunnel. The tunnel led to a large oval shaped chamber that was filled with gold coins and stacks of currency. Ducil got a large ship and drove it into the tunnel and grabbed all of the loot. Then she split the money with the other 8 wives and all of their children.
“There are some things we can deduce and some we know, but far many others that can never be grasped. I put years of my life into reading and studying religious text. I spent even more time studying people and trying to know their minds. And now I sit here with the 2 of you and I can tell you with all honesty that I only know a teaspoon’s worth of the great river of logic and truth. The more I thirsted for knowledge the more knowledge there was to drink,” said Peastro calmly then he sucked on a Breask.
Everyone sat and thought on what Peastro had said and then Peastro and Coup looked up at the TV
and the Bushpru were all beating each other up.
“I’m going to kill you, Duke, so here’s your kiss in advance!” shouted Quarterblo as he pulled out a Vunt hand pistol and shot Duke in the head, shattering it and sending blood and brains all over the other Bushpru.
“Is this really happening?” asked Dramkick as he smiled and laughed to himself.
“Yes, this is live TV. What a horrific scene, it’s too bad we aren’t there to join in the fun,” said Peastro then he dunked his head under the water.
The other Bushpru tackled Quarterblo and ripped the gun out of his hand, but not before he had shot and killed 2 of them. They all jumped on top of him and beat him to death. They tore his arms from their sockets and threw them across the room. Then the Aspot crushed his skull and ended Quarterblo’s life.
The Bushpru attacked one another and the whole room was a total Malay.
” To dust!” shouted Coup as he flung his fist at the screen.
“I have now officially seen it all. My what an incredible sight to behold. I’ve never seen violence become so contagious. Look everyone in the whole room is trying to kill each other,” said Peastro gleefully then he laughed to himself.
“Isn’t this council supposed to solve problems on Goldva?” asked Coup.
“That’s right and now they are the problem. Wait ‘til you see the public outcry I’m getting a headache just thinking of all those people who will think I could have stopped it,” said Peastro then he let out a long sigh.
3 of the Bushpru were shot and killed including the Aspot by other members of the Bushpru. Then a fire broke out and everyone ran for the exits.
“Live TV there is nothing finer if you ask me,” said Coup then he laughed heartily.
“I can’t wait ‘til next week’s show when the topic is how do you end the Bushpru,” said Dramkick jokingly as he chuckled.
Dr. Mafest Believes Borabash
Aboard the Pudren vessel, called the Cifitty, Dermich and Dr. Mafest were sitting in the study discussing the war. Dr. Mafest was a head shorter than Dermitch and weighed a solid 223 pounds. His upper body accounted for most of his weight and all of his immense strength. His hair is orange and looks like a Lion’s mane. His eyes are silver and never flinch. His nose is long and thick and takes up much of his face. He is wearing a dark blue sport coat and a light blue t-shirt that reads,” We’ll fight more when you’re dead,” written in gold letters across the front, with a picture of the high priest of the Pudren Borabash.
Borabash Yel had supreme power over all Pudren including Dermitch, and had for over 150 years.
Borabash’s theories about life and the afterlife known of as The Decided Scripture Fact were written in his 7th year of life. They included the Love About Self Theory which stated that a happy person could have a part of their mind filled with incredible hatred. And if they never acted out this hatred then there were negative aspects. There was also the Laughter On The Off Beats Theory which stated that every conversation had a natural rhythm and if you laughed off of that decided upon beat you could cause yourself and the person you were speaking to harm. It said that the awkward silence you felt after everyone stopped laughing was a sign that this had occurred. Borabash added several laws after becoming Supreme Spiritual Leader and one was the Never Look At My Gaze Law which stated that no Pudren could look directly at him when he was speaking only beside him.
Borabash was raised by his older brother after his parents died from food poisoning when he was 6.
He once killed 2 men whose laughter he felt violated his personal space. Another time he pushed a man in front of a large train because he thought the color of his shirt was too distracting. He married his first lover 122 years ago and they are still married to this very day with 2 children a boy and a girl, Mrom and Babma.
Mrom created a weapon known as the Opoy, which was a high powered blinding rifle. The Opoy could be fired at short range and instantly take the victims sight by destroying the retina.
The study is Y shaped and has 3 large green leather chairs in each of the 3 stems. There are also 4
small black metal tables in each of the 3 stems as well as 3 see through refrigerators that have bottles of Makas beer and brown chocolate chip cookies. There are also chilled Maflat steak sandwiches inside as well.
Makas beer is a thin lager that packs a wallop.
The Maflat is a ten foot tall cow like creature, but has a square head and one small eye and one large.
It smells rank because of its constant sweating and its habit of urinating on itself.
On the walls of the study there is a racetrack with obstacles that have small ships that constantly soar around it for 100 laps. Then a buzzer will go off and the winning ship will fly into a small garage, with screaming fans around both sides. Then another race will start and it repeats the routine over and over again. Since the winner’s are random the Pudrens would often vote on the outcome.
“O.K then, Dermitch, we’ll double our efforts. These Nor are weak and too stupid to pose a real threat to our regime,” said Dr. Mafest snidely then he pulled out a Tato stick and put it in his mouth and hit the discharge button.
A Tato stick is a powerful pain reliever that when you swallow its contents it soothes each and every pain in your body. It also creates a feeling of euphoria as a side effect. It is a bright blue round tube that has some compressed air inside it at the bottom. Once you put it in your mouth and pressed the discharge button it fired the contents down your throat.
“Double what exactly, we’re at full strength right now. And these Nor are wise, Dr. Mafest, they’ve got weapons and a military strategy that I’ve never seen before. No, what we need is to find a new plan,
one that will bring them to their knees. What I suggest is we stop dancing around the issue,” said Dermitch sternly then he discharged 2 Tato sticks and let out a sigh.
“Which would be?” asked Dr. Mafest as he leaned forward in his chair.
“Up ‘til now we have been planning on taking Goldva intact so that we could colonize her with Pudren’s. The problem with that way of thinking is we’re not using any of our most powerful bombs and missiles because we don’t want to destroy any of the natural resources. What I propose is this…we use a Pailoc and wide out a few million Nor and annihilate one of their cities. ‘Cause once they see the devastation we can bring, they’ll be very eager to lay down their arms and surrender,” said Dermitch firmly then he tapped his temple asserting his genius.
“That’s a brilliant idea, but what if it backfires and they suddenly attack us with even more ferocity?” asked Dr. Mafest anxiously then he cracked the joints in his neck.
“Then we weren’t going to win anyway. So at that point we’ll know it’s time to pack it in. But, what if this is exactly what it takes to defeat them. Then we get the beautiful Goldva and all that she has to offer. Minus one city of course and I thought we’d try the city of Reckus. It’s remote enough where the Pailoc blast wouldn’t poison the water supply of any of the other cities or towns,” said Dermitch then he shook his hands violently and shouted,” I feel their lives coming to an end now! What a glorious day it will be!”
Back at Foiv Castle Peastro, Coup, and Dramkick were inside the command center’s adjoining Croc room. The Croc is a mental and physical anguish releasing room that was intended to be used in a time of war by the Pre Ma and his generals to help them release the stress of war. It has rubber padded Tombac robots that will fight you to the limit of your abilities, but would always let you defeat them. There is also a shattering sound booth, where you could go inside this black booth and shout at targets and the booth would amplify it into a loud laser blast and destroy whichever target you were aiming at. Each of which
are in the shape of people as well as animals and they will even try to elude your attacks. Upon hitting a target a soothing hum fills the booth and a lime green light soothes your senses.
In another section of the Croc room there is a tan leather couch with Peastro’s face sewn into it that faces a large holographic TV. On the TV there is a fake newscast that shows only positive stories and every 30 minutes a newsflash will come across the screen saying the war is over and the Nor are victorious. Then it would show a giant fake celebration for the next hour where it gave you the impression everything would be fine and everyone was happy.
The floors are covered in a constantly moving gentle massage machine that takes all the tension out of your feet. And each of the walls has snapshots of every Pre Ma and Cre Ma they have ever had. Peastro is inside the shattering sound booth firing at targets while Coup, Dramkick, and Popaturn sat watching the fake news.
“Someday, someday this news will be the real news. That’s the day I’ll sing my lungs out,” said Popaturn sincerely as he sat on the left side of the couch with Dramkick sprawled out in the middle and Coup on the right side.
“That day will come and sooner than you think. I’ve fought so many wars just like this that they no longer concern me. Mostly because I’ve never lost one, but there’s a feeling our Vor Me have always had.
We give each of them a vicious mind and body so that killing becomes a reflex. My only concern with your troops is morale considering this unending rain,” said Dramkick then he put his right hand over his chin.
“They are as weak as they’ve ever been. This Dermitch and his starting of this storm-of all storms-to kill our fighting spirit was a master stroke. If you hadn’t shown up here when you did we wouldn’t have had the wherewithal to keep them at bay,” said Popaturn then he put his hand on Dramkick’s shoulder and gave him a shake and said,” Thank you, Dramkick, and you, Coup.”
Coup smiled and nodded to Popaturn and then said,” I wouldn’t worry, Popaturn, when the 2
reinforcements arrive, you’ll have more than enough firepower to end this war in a proper fashion. Just give it a little time for things to progress.”
“He’s right, Popaturn, we may not even need the other forces. If Peastro’s scouts can find Dermitch, then the sky will turn crimson with his blood. And wouldn’t that he a nice time to sing?” asked Dramkick metaphorically then a pair of large servants came in carrying 2 black boxes and they each had dark green hair, were tall and rugged.
Coup felt his first strike trigger and stood up slowly. And just as he did the 2 servants threw open the boxes and grabbed 2 Homdin pistols and started firing.
The Homdin is dark red metal and can fire large laser pulses that tear large holes in a person’s flesh.
Dramkick back flipped over the couch and crouched behind it for safety. Coup levitated up high and kept moving out of the way of the Homdin blasts. Popaturn tried to run at the attackers, but caught a blast in the shoulder that spun him around like a top. The blast blew off his shoulder blade and part of his bicep. Suddenly Popaturn lunged forward and tried to grab the Homdin, but just as he grabbed it it fired and blew a 4 inch hole in his forehead. He fell forward and his brain and the circuits inside could be seen covered in blood.
“Popaturn, NO!” shouted Coup as he gritted his teeth and used the Mormo technique to blast the servant who shot Popaturn. The shot rearranged his organs and popped the assassin’s ribcage out through his skin. The assassin stumbled for a few steps then fell onto the couch and died. The remaining assassin fired at Coup and just missed him, but singed his hair and lit it on fire.
Dramkick saw his chance and jumped over, coughed and did a forward roll then kicked the assassin as hard as he could in the chest. Instead of sending him flying backwards, the kick was so powerful that Dramkick’s foot passed right through his body and came out his back. Dramkick tried to pull his foot out,
but he was stuck inside his torso. The assassin was still alive, but barely as he spit up blood and his eyes rolled back in his head. Dramkick got frustrated with his predicament so he punched the assassin with both hands and his body fell backwards while Dramkick shouted,” You worthless Fool! You ruined my trousers!”
Peastro walked in and saw Dramkick with blood all over his leg and asked,” Is that paint?”
Coup floated down and said sternly,” Peastro, these 2 assassins tried to kill all 3 of us. They succeeded in killing Popaturn and for this I am sorry, but they got the upper hand on us.”
“What about your first strike triggers?” asked Peastro as he looked at Coup with a furrowed brow.
“I felt nothing until they drew their weapons. Apparently the Pudren have the ability to hide their emotions and intentions from us. I am truly sorry, but we narrowly escaped with our lives, Peastro,” said Coup calmly then he put his arm around Peastro.
“This is bad, this is real bad. Popaturn was a dear friend and someone I completely trusted. Not to mention what he meant to the people of Goldva. I feel a bit nauseous and lightheaded,” said Peastro sadly then he took a pair of deep breaths.
“Peastro, honor the man by defending his most reassured possession, Goldva. We have to up the stakes in this war and get on with the getting on. Take a last look at him and then leave it right here in this room!” said Dramkick sternly as he looked Peastro in the eye and then looked down at Popaturn.
Peastro looked at Dramkick and then walked over to Popaturn’s body and knelt down over it. He looked at his once dear friend and felt the enormity of death, as well as the finality. He thought of the first time they met and their instant friendship. Then he thought of that day at Mt. Booslepe and that moment they shared. He then leaned down and kissed his cheek and then said softly,” We’re still friends, Popaturn, just taking a break.”
The building shook and a crack formed in the wall.
Coup asked stunned,” What in the Terious was that?”
“I don’t know, but we need to find out yesterday,” said Peastro sternly then he raced out of the room and into the command center with Coup and Dramkick quick behind.
“We just took a hit and its major, Pre Ma,” said General Stram as he saw Peastro come in.
“What happened?” asked Dramkick as he looked at the hologram of Reckus in flames.
“It’s Reckus, Pre Ma, an enormous bomb hit there and as far as we can tell it destroyed everything and killed everyone,” said General Stram anxiously.
“Do we have any idea how many people we’re talking about, General?” asked Peastro as he watched the hologram of Reckus.
“There are 100 million residents of Reckus, but there was an art convention there today so there may have been another 15 million people there for that. O.K. now that’s the bad news,” said General Stram sternly.
“What’s the good news?” asked Peastro then he wiped the sweat off his forehead.
“Your fleets have arrived and are just outside of the Pudren’s scanners and are awaiting your orders,”
said General Stram.
“Annihilate them, let not one Pudren breathe air after today. No more Fem and Yeck now it’s for keeps,” said Peastro coldly then he gave his hand a gentle wave and General Stram called in the order.
Fem is a small rodent like creature and it constantly tries to steal the eggs from the Yeck birds nest.
The Fem has large ears and 3 separate noses on the front and sides, with blue fur and yellow bulging eyes.
It is all of 2 feet tall and 2 feet long. The Yeck is a 6 foot tall bird with rainbow colored feathers that
change to seal black at night so as to protect it and its eggs while it sleeps. It has an almost human like nose and large snarling teeth. It also has a lime green eye and a purple one. It has 3 pairs of thick hairy legs that look like a monkey’s legs. It is known to terrorize anyone who whistles within 100 feet of it by attacking the person violently.
“I’ll take care of my troops. Don’t trifle, Peastro, this will be over soon,” said Dramkick as he put his hand on Peastro’s shoulder and then said to him,” For Popaturn.”
“Yes, for Popaturn let’s wake up poor Dermitch from his premature celebration and get the festivities really movin’,” said Peastro snidely.
Peastro’s fleet bombarded the Pudren ships as did Dramkick with everything they had. The sky seemed twice as bright, with all the explosions and laser bursts. Dramkick’s fleet joined in on the fun and the Pudren ships were now only flaming carcasses only moments away from complete destruction.
The Brons kept doing their damage, but had to leap from one dying ship to the next as the Pudren fleet was quickly giving way. On Dermitch’s battleship he sat stunned inside the study with Dr. Mafest and then Dermitch asked nervously,” Quickly, Doctor, is there any chance now if us winning this battle?”
“None, the battle is lost it’s our lives that are in jeopardy now. If we want to continue breathing we must leave now!” said Dr. Mafest sternly as he looked at the devastation of the fleet on the monitor.
“Then leave we must I can’t die here today, I am too powerful and too blessed,” said Dermitch frantically and then he pressed the communicator on the armrest of his chair and shouted,” Get us out of here, General Zax, all is lost!”
Instantly General Zax pulled the battleship up out of the sea of destruction and out of the atmosphere.
Peastro saw this and shouted,” That one right there is that scoundrel Dermitch! I have no doubt, don’t let that ship escape put 3 battleships in pursuit, General Stram.”
“It’s done, Pre Ma,” said General Stram then he sent the order to 3 battleships just inside the atmosphere to chase the Pudren ship.
“What a coward, if that’s him then he doesn’t deserve the life the Builder blessed him with. Just seeing such a lowly act fills my stomach with a boulder of bile,” said Coup as he watched the 3 ships chase Dermitch.
Dermitch sat nervously inside the study as he watched the 3 ships in hot pursuit. Then he shouted,”
Leave me be! I am too important to die like this!”
“Well, if we’re going to die anyway I can at least get some satisfaction. How about a kiss?” asked Dr. Mafest as he pulled out his laser pistol from its holster and aimed it at Dermitch.
“What are you doing? Have you gone mad? I own you, Doctor, put down that weapon or I’ll have you killed,” said Dermitch fiercely as he stood up quickly.
“I’ve owed you this, Dermitch! And it’s time to settle you pompous fart sack,” said Dr. Mafest snidely then he shot Dermitch in the stomach.
Dermitch doubled over with pain and shouted,” We could survive this, don’t be so foolish!”
“We’re both dead, Dermitch, but I’m making sure that you go first. I think they’re a few million people who will thank me on the other side. Open wide I’ve got a tasty treat for ya,” said Dr. Mafest snidely then he shot Dermitch in the mouth and then in the neck.
Blood and guts oozed out of Dermitch’s body and then he fell flat on his back and died with one final bloody gasp.
“Love yourself second or not at all, Dermitch. Now I’ve finally got the peace I craved oh these many years,” said Dr. Mafest snidely as he sat down and put up his feet on Dermitch’s dead body.
The trio of battleships caught up to Dermitch’s ship and hit it with all they had. Within seconds the ship was ablaze and Dr. Mafest sat silently watching the room he was in fill with smoke. Then his room took a direct hit and blew him to pieces as well as Dermitch’s dead body. Back on Goldva the last of the Pudren ships were being blown to pieces.
Peastro saw that the war was almost over and said,” There’s always a debt to pay and it’s always paid on the day we die. A lot of Nor lost their lives in Reckus so I feel no sympathy for these Pudren’s.
They won’t awake tomorrow and this is a perfect solution to their treacherous ways.”
From Portoa to the Void
In the aftermath of the war with the Pudren, which was now called Parter War, Peastro had the deceased residents of Reckus honored with 3 days of celebration. The 3 days were to be celebrated every year and were to be called the Forever Together Period.
Every Nor let out a shout in unison as the sun came up to cleanse them of the pain they were feeling.
Then as was the Nor custom, their passing was remembered with a day of partying and games.
Peastro, Coup, Dramkick, Culby, and Yerpo Lle sat on the outside deck at Foiv Castle basking in the sun after the rain had finally subsided. There were two 5 person tables in the shape of stars, with 5 white padded deck chairs around each. On each of the tables there were several tins filled with various dishes like Hamblat on skewers.
Hamblat is made from the thigh meat of the Hamblat cow, which is a 2 foot tall and 4 foot long miniature cow that has green fur and bright glowing blue eyes. It is a genetically engineered cow that grows to full size in a matter of 2 weeks. Its beef is so tender that it is like chewing a baked roll.
“So where are your hearts now?” asked Peastro as he took a bite of his Hamblat skewers.
“Eposical, he hasn’t left my mind’s eye for a moment. We need to hunt him down and repay his unending kindness,” said Dramkick snidely then he took a drag off his Tut cigarette.
“That monster can’t be allowed to live another free man’s day. I say we take all of our resources and track that Densk down and give him a little brain rewiring. Builder knows he’s earned it,” said Coup coldly then he tapped Peastro on the chest.
“Then we’re in agreement. We’ll use the bulk of our fleets and search every inch of the universe for that terror. What scares me is this…he’s probably already moved onto a new set of rulers. And, they’re
probably going through what we went through right now,” said Peastro then he took a sip of some Borco wine.
“I thought about that last night. He undoubtedly has them right now and if we don’t hurry they won’t be as fortunate as we were. I’ve got time, a whole lifetime’s worth to track this scoundrel down,” said Dramkick snidely then he pulled a Praem tube out of his pocket and dumped it into his right eye.
“It’s worth it, that feeling I had when I was going through the Comicide sessions was a horror unmatched. I need to pass that feeling onto Eposical in the worst conceivable way,” said Coup snidely as he looked around at everyone at the table.
“I have an idea,” said Yerpo Lle slyly as he tugged at Peastro’s shirt sleeve.
“What’s that Yerpo Lle?” asked Peastro as he looked down at him.
“Why chase him at all. Why not let one of you get caught again with a tracking microchip under your skin. Then put yourself on a distressed ship and send out a help signal. And when he hears your signal he’ll come to grab you. Then all’s you have to do is try to fight him off slightly and look like you’ve been duped. Then your fleets can track you and you’ll have Eposical right where you want him.
And whoever decides to get caught by him will just have to be ready and able to escape when the time is right,” said Yerpo Lle calmly then he took a sip from his glass of Hool milk.
“He’s right, that’s all it would take,” said Peastro quickly.
Everyone at the table was looking at Yerpo Lle in shock and then Coup said,” That boy is every bit his father, amazing. Now the question is who will be the bait, I count myself out because I’m old and I just don’t want to do it. So it’s either Peastro, or you, Dramkick.”
“Well, I know I can get out of there safely. I’ve got more weapons at my disposal, but it’s up to you, Dramkick,” said Peastro as he looked at Dramkick.
“I must go, I’m sorry, Peastro, but you have a family that needs you and I can’t bear to think your son will grow up without a father. And secondly I need to physically rip Eposical’s head form his shoulders and watch his body go limp or I just wouldn’t be able to think past this ordeal. My mind needs a better resolution,” said Dramkick then he smiled and said,” You only mess with me once and then you’re out of tries.”
“Then it’s settled, we’ll put you in one of your damaged battleships and set you adrift in the same area where we escaped. Then we’ll wait a safe distance away and when we see your position change we’ll know and we will be fast on your heels,” said Coup smoothly then he slapped his thigh.
“Don’t worry about Dramkick he can handle any situation,” said Peastro slyly as he smiled at Dramkick.
“Yes, indeed and with the help of young Yerpo Lle we’ve got the plan we need to take care of this colossal needle in our eyes. You’ve done us well, Yerpo Lle, how did you come up with such a grand plan?” asked Dramkick then he took a drag from his Tut cigarette.
“I used my ears to understand the problem. Then I relaxed and used my mind to devise the proper strategy to trick this Eposical into thinking he had us. But all’s he will have is a death most discreet,” said Yerpo Lle as he laughed and everyone joined in.
The following day Dramkick’s ship was readied and he was set at the exact spot where they had escaped from. The ship had a full crew, but was instructed to steer clear of Dramkick’s personal quarters so as to provide an ample opportunity for Eposical to capture him.
Dramkick sat on the edge of his bed with several pillows behind his book. He had a little blue nightstand with The Book of Yealik that Mela had given him on top, with a cup of Toffy coffee beside it.
He had of The Book of Yealik opened to the Dugega passage which read,” We walked here you and I, but we could have ran. Our legs aren’t tired our minds not weak. We were in love at the outset and more
so now. The big questions were asked along the way as were the small. We thought we’d never run out of challenges, but they were all met and all problems subdued. Here we are now at our destination, but oh the thousand people we became to sit right here this one. And what we got a million mornings with traces of sleep on each and every breath. Oh how it thrilled us and now we know why. It was a larger love that fueled every decisions and a greater hope that fills us now. What was it you said…forever, and forever just started. What, Love, what can I give you, another trip you say o.k. we’ll head out with blue wings and kiss another journey hello. We knew it and now we’ll know it.”
“What a gift you are dear book. I’ve run out of questions to ask as I read through you. Mela you did me a great thing by giving me this and I thank you,” said Dramkick to himself then he set down The Book of Yealik and grabbed his cup of Toffy coffee, took a sip and then said softly,” Mela, the days aren’t as grand now that you’re gone.” Then through Dramkick’s plasma window the ship gently rotated letting in the sun. It felt warm on his skin and relief washed over him. He knew that he had a great battle ahead with Eposical, but his mind was loose and limber and ready for the challenge ahead. He refused to think in violent terms instead he focused on moments of laughter form his life like the Mackast dinner party.
At the Mackast dinner party 3 years earlier, Dramkick found himself imbibing far too many bottles of wine. He started feeling up every woman in sight and shouting,” I’ll kill you all before morning!” Then he went into the Mackast family library and proceeded to urinate all over priced paintings and family heirlooms. He ran through the party kicking everyone hard in the rear end. Then he grabbed a very old-and very expensive statue-and leapt from the balcony into the pool below smashing the statue when he clipped the side of the pool with its head.
Dramkick finished his coffee then bathed and got dressed. He went to the fitness room to work out and as he stepped into the hallway Eposical and 7 of his soldiers surrounded him.
“Morning, Dramkick, how have you been I missed you?” asked Eposical sarcastically then he smiled a sinister smile.
“I was great until now. Do you ever let things be or are you obsessed at this point?” asked Dramkick smoothly as he stared down Eposical.
“Grudges are meant to be kept, Dramkick, you know that. I hope you haven’t missed your Comicide Sessions too much?” asked Eposical snidely as he made an aggressive hand gesture like dictator.
“More than dirt,” said Dramkick coldly as he smirked.
Eposical became visibly angry and shouted,” Sedate This Bringer of DEATH!”
2 of the soldiers came at Dramkick with Copen sedation guns filled with powerful sedatives.
Dramkick roundhouse kicked one of them in the chest sending him into the wall violently. Then as the other advanced Dramkick grabbed his wrist with the Copen gun and head butted him in the face so hard it crushed his face almost flat. But behind Dramkick another of Eposical’s soldiers got him in the back with the Copen and he instantly passed out. A number of the solders grabbed his limp body and then Eposical said snidely,” We will break you of your treacherous heart, Dramkick. You will change or die!” declared Eposical then he grabbed Dramkick’s face and threw it backwards.
Eposical’s ship-which had been cloaked-blew a large hole in the side of Dramkick’s ship and extended a covered pathway into where Eposical was. They hurried into Eposical’s ship with Dramkick in tow.
Dramkick was put into his cell and they set off at full speed for Udidia with the hope of having Dramkick and the others brains totally reconfigured by the time they arrived. Dramkick’s cellmate was Emperor Moreflap Edonis (the ruler of Easikid a sand world).
Moreflap Edonis is a giant man of 7’6” and 750 pounds of bulging muscles. His skin is tan and his hair is blonde with purple streaks and has 15 perfect circles of hair and the rest shaved bald. His eyes are square shaped and have green and purple streaks inside them. He has a dark brown curly beard that has blue beads attached to several little beard ponytails. He has an arrow shaped nose that shoots straight out from his face. He also has a large mouth and bright white teeth that look like a child’s when he smiles. He is wearing a red robe that has his crest on the front. He also has on a pair of black leather boots with red laces.
He is the youngest of 57 children of now passed Emperor Borfla Edonis. Moreflap has 34 children of his own all by the same wife Ctome. His people call him The Crushing Blow referring to his ruthless reign and after the time he killed his eldest son Nady with a roundhouse punch to the back of the head.
Moreflap gave his loyal subjects only 2 meals a day and anyone who ate more had their tongues ripped out. He once had an entire battalion of his own men killed because he saw 2 of them smiling during battle.
Dramkick slept for a few hours them awoke to find Moreflap staring at him with a scowl on his face.
“I hoped you were dead I could have used the space,” said Moreflap emotionlessly as he sat on his bed directly across from Dramkick.
Dramkick smiled and then said,” It’s hoping like that that got us in here. I’m Dramkick and since I survived my capture I think you should tell me your name.”
Moreflap smiled and then said,” Moreflap, and it’s nice to meet you. I must admit the circumstances could have been better. What world do you govern over?” asked Moreflap warmly.
“Membra, it is many months from here. I wish I were there right now. If you saw it you would love it, because it is very picturesque as well as lush and green. And you, Moreflap, where do you come from?” asked Dramkick then he twisted his torso to stretch out his back.
“Easikid and she is the opposite of Membra. It’s thousands of miles of blue, green, and red sand. We have 2 large and beautiful cities Te Por and Shikago, and all of our 3 billion people live in one or the other. What would thrill my soul would be to be dining at Sharbu restaurant in Shikago right now. They have a 300 fruit and vegetable pie called Cronap, that would fill your mind with happiness for hours, Dramkick,” said Moreflap brightly as he started to laugh.
“You’ll have to get me one if they ever let us go,” said Dramkick then he stood up and walked over to the refrigerator, opened it and grabbed a pie of white cheese and ate it.
“There is always hope, Dramkick, if we respond well to the Comicide Sessions then there is a chance for our return home,” said Moreflap hopefully then he stood up and walked over to Dramkick and said,”
just hold on we will greet another free day, I know it.”
Dramkick nodded to Moreflap and said sternly,” It can’t come too soon for me. This ship is everything that is wrong with the universe. They say we’re evil for the way we rule over our worlds, but you have to use an iron fist or the people lose their way and everything descends into chaos. And that says nothing for when you’re attacked by some new army that wants to destroy you, and you have to be ruthless or fall under their sword. What do they think is going to happen after they reprogram us all that the whole universe will suddenly be peaceful?”
“It’s lunacy all’s they’ll succeed in doing is making our worlds more susceptible to attack and annihilation. Yes, it may take the violence out of our minds, but not from our assassin’s. Their idealistic view of the universe is dangerous, juvenile, and borders on insane. They’re doing to us, which is what they think we do to our people which is force them to think a certain way. I don’t know about you, but my people have their own lives, their own dreams, I just set the laws for their protection,” said Moreflap firmly.
“This little cleansing of theirs is a desperate act, let’s just hope that we catch a lucky break and get out of here, because I have a feeling the effects of the Comicide Sessions are permanent. I need my anger or I will perish long before I die,” said Dramkick sternly.
Eposical was sitting in a black and green leather chair in his private quarters listening to Dramkick and Moreflap’s conversation. The room he was in had 65 TV monitors of every section of the ship. He also had sound that he could access in a second of every inch of the Famocis. The room had a large T
shaped bed with a thick fluffy mattress and box spring as well as cushy and comfortable thick white pillows, blankets, and sheets on top. There is also a full private kitchen, bathroom, and living room that are decked out head to toe. The floor is covered in 7 inch thick navy blue area rugs. He also has a black leather chair and desk with a computer next to his bed. There is also a humidor for his large collection of cigars. Most of which he had stolen from his captives from all over the universe. Beneath his bed in a secret compartment was a large bottle of liquid Eomeram.
Eomeram is a powerful hallucinogenic drug that when taken in large doses creates separate memories from your own. It gives you sometimes years worth of experiences from another person’s life.
You could feel emotions that would have never made sense to you if someone had just explained them to you. And when you are having the hallucinations your brain can’t decipher if they are fake. So you are given the ability to be people and sometimes things that no one ever had or could. Eomeram has to be mixed with meat and cooked or its effects won’t be felt.
“So, Dramkick thinks I’m a bad person and this is insanity. Well think again you Fool, because you’ll be sharing my insanity and jumping into line right quick. Then after I’ve gotten a few thousand of you under my spell, I’ll use my Udian army to take over each and every one of your worlds. Then I will be the ruler of it all and the universe will beg for my mercy. But my mercy will not arrive, Dramkick, not for a second,” said Eposical snidely then he burst into disorganized laughter. He stood up and opened his secret compartment under the bed and pulled out the bottle of Eomeram and said snidely,” I need a new
reality for awhile.” Then he went to his private kitchen and grabbed a hamburger patty and poured the Eomeram on top of it. He waited a few seconds for it to absorb then he put it in the instant cook oven for 5 seconds. He pulled the hamburger patty out and bit into it, sighed and then asked brightly,” Who needs friends when we’re so close?”
Meanwhile Dramkick and Moreflap were taken to their Comicide Sessions and along the way they stopped for a quick snack. Dramkick grabbed a Nacvie pie as did Moreflap and then Dramkick said,”
Here we are so far from our home worlds and having a nice pie and yet, if we hadn’t been such ruthless tyrants we would have missed this glorious time together.”
Moreflap laughed and then said quickly,” It makes ya think how lucky we are to have done so many terrible things. I mean I even killed my eldest son and look how great it turned out for me.”
Dramkick had to spit out some of his pie as he burst out laughing and then said,” I punched a man’s head off because he looked away when I asked him his name! So neither one of us is innocent enough to point our fingers!” said Dramkick loudly and then he laughed hysterically and asked quickly,” all this talk of murder has got me feeling like thrashing one of these Udian’s do you think they’d mind?”
“Who cares go for it, but save me his skull,” said Moreflap as he laughed and then he took a large bite of his pie.
2 Udian guards came into the room and one with red hair named Yode barked,” Move it along now you’re wasting time.”
“Fine, we were just enjoying ourselves that’s still legal isn’t it?” asked Dramkick in a baby’s voice as he shook his head from side to side.
“Very funny, let’s move it along or you’ll get a hearty shock from my Neict stick,” said Yode as he pulled out his Neict stick.
The Neict stick is a 3 foot long yellow baton with a black and yellow striped handle. It can send an electric charge through your body that is just a hair below what would kill you.
Dramkick swallowed the rest of his pie and then said,” And we’re off.”
Moreflap followed close behind Dramkick with the rest of his pie in his hands. Inside the Rerni Realm Peastro and Coup sat talking when General Stram asked,” The Famocis is coming into range. How do you want to proceed?”
“Have the fleet get beside her and in front and create a circle with our ships. So if they try to run there won’t be anywhere to go, but be careful to have them keep a safe distance until I give the word.
Then when I give the order I want the Famocis’ engines crippled and her power source disabled. Then we’ll send in a swarm of Humpacca’s and Vor Me. And I must stress that we must be swift and bold and make sure that Dramkick as well as the other rulers get off that ship alive,” said Peastro sternly as he peered at General Stram.
“Understood, I’ll send out the order, Pre Ma, but what of Eposical?” asked General Stram timidly.
“Good question, but a mute one. If I know Dramkick like I think I do then Eposical will be dead with most of his crew before we even get there,” said Peastro then he smiled.
“True very true let’s just hope his minds intact. Granted he hasn’t been there long, but I can still feel a slight loss of aggression in myself. I say we make a great effort in getting him out fast,” said Coup then he raised his eyebrows and let out a sigh.
“You aren’t kidding, that is our first priority. Our friend and brother is on that ship with the horrific Udian’s. If it were me I’d want out and I’d want out fast so be ready, General, we’ll need to be concise,”
said Peastro sternly then he clenched his fist.
The Kaa fleet as well as Dramkick’s spread out in a circle around the Famocis and held their position as they waited for Peastro’s orders. Inside the Famocis Dramkick and Moreflap had just sat down for their Comicide Sessions and Eposical watched each of them on TV monitors.
“Have a seat, Dramkick, go ahead and get real comfortable because you’re gonna be here awhile,”
said Eposical snidely as he watched Dramkick sit down and then he said coldly,” Ya thirsty have a sip and we’ll get started.”
Inside the Comicide room Dramkick was very nervous. He knew that even if he fought the treatment it would still damage him. He thought of Peastro and Coup and wished they’d burst through the doors and take him to freedom. He reached down and felt his right calf and felt for the microchip. It was there, but then he felt a panic attack come over him, because what if it hadn’t worked he thought. Then he caught himself and put the fear out of his mind. If worse came to worse he could fight his way out or die trying.
Dramkick’s therapist was Bomat’s identical twin brother Fromat. He was wearing a dark green sport coat and matching trousers as well as a white T shirt that had a picture of Crounce Vede.
Crounce Vede was the Udian General from the Age of Maset, which was the first third of the Udian’s existence. Crounce was born at the beginning of the Arom War and by the time he was 30 he was fighting in it as a General. After he instituted the kill everyone-including those who surrendered-policy the Udian army turned the tide against the Fravel, who were from a neighboring planet and Crounce was heralded as a great hero. After 70 years in the military he retired and painted 14 hours a day on a large wall at his lakeside home. The giant mural-which was 300 yards long and 100 feet high-depicted the entire life of Maset.
Maset was one of 3 brothers believed to be the son of God. Maset being the oldest was the writer of the 7 wishes of God with the first stating,” If you can’t run, walk for a day, if you can’t walk sing me a song and if your notes aren’t pure, smile you’ve just begun to think and a kaleidoscope awaits any man who wants it.”
“Well, Dramkick, it’s a real pleasure to see you again. It’s a shame Bomat isn’t here to share the experience,” said Fromat sarcastically as he looked coldly at Dramkick.
“Well I’m all broken up about it. Where is old Bomat anyway I miss his lovely body odor?” asked Dramkick as he smiled at Fromat.
“He’s in a better place than you will ever know,” said Fromat coldly.
“Well at least he’s happy there something to be said for that, I must confess I miss him already he was such an agreeable type much in the same way you are. Ya know, I think I’m going to miss you as well, but don’t go dying just yet, we’ve got work to do together. I’d hate to miss my chance at being a better person like you wonderful Udian’s. So well rounded and content with your mediocrity,” said Dramkick brightly then he pumped his fist.
“First question, if everything were equal would your fallings in life be worth the trouble of suddenly being pushed off a cliff and falling to your death?” asked Fromat plainly as he smiled back at Dramkick.
“Could I take a friend?” asked Dramkick quickly then he smirked at Fromat and said smoothly,” I’ll take your silence as a yes so let’s go my friend. I’ll be right behind you when you jump.”
“Next question, if a person that you had wronged accidentally lost their sight suddenly could you hate them enough to laugh at their predicament?”
Dramkick looked at Fromat for a second and then said snidely,” Blind people are a plague they should be killed and the world should be rid of their burden. If the Builder saw fit to strike them in such a way then laughter is a given.”
“That is a horrific statement, Dramkick, you’re not going to get anywhere with that attitude,” said Fromat sternly as he gripped the edge of the table.
“Well I got under your skin, that’s a start,” said Dramkick coldly as he started laughing and stretched out his arms.
“If they would let me I would beat the life out of you. You can sit there and smile and laugh, but someday you’re gonna be on the wrong side of my temper,” said Fromat fiercely as he glared at Dramkick.
“Much in the same way Bomat was on the wrong end of mine. Funny isn’t it?” said Dramkick implying a question.
“What’s funny?” asked Fromat as he bit into his lower lip.
“Some of us tell jokes and some of us are them, which do you think your brother was?” asked Dramkick snidely then he blew Fromat a kiss.
Fromat jumped up out of his chair and lunged at Dramkick, grabbing onto the sides of his neck.
Dramkick grabbed onto each of his elbows then used all his strength to snap his arms inward at the joint breaking both of his arms. This caused Fromat to scream in agony. Then Dramkick grabbed him by the jacket and threw him head first into the 12 foot ceiling, breaking his neck and ending his life as he dangled by his head from the ceiling.
“I hope that cures your neck pain, it was all I could think of,” said Dramkick jokingly as he looked up at Fromat’s body then he saw his shoe was untied and he tied it.
Eposical saw what had transpired and shouted,” You’ve crossed the line, Dramkick! Now you’ll have to feel my rage!”
Eposical hurried out of his room and made for Dramkick’s therapy room.
Dramkick meanwhile was going through Fromat’s pockets looking for cigarettes and when he found a pack he said,” What friends are we if we can’t share alright, Fromat, your brother would have shared I know it.”
Eposical grabbed 2 soldiers and threw open the door and shouted,” Dramkick, you’ve come to a point of physical therapy because obviously you won’t accept the Comicide! So grab onto something and get ready to bite down hard ‘cause you’re about to experience unbelievable pain!”
“Careful, Eposical, I wouldn’t want to hurt your friends. But be certain I will because I am the only violent man in this room,” said Dramkick sternly as he tried to keep his eyes on all 3 of them instead of focusing on one.
The green eyed Udian named Lofe came at Dramkick with a Copen and made a quick thrust, but Dramkick was ready and used both of his palms to grab the Copen and then crushed it flat. Then Dramkick grabbed him around the throat and flattened his neck leaving him gasping for air.
The blue eyed Udian soldier named Fredog looked sheepishly at Eposical and Eposical shouted,” Get the job done now!”
Dramkick laughed and said sternly,” Don’t do it, Son, you come near me and I’m going to kill you.
There’s no shame and dropping that gun and walking out of here alive.”
The soldier again looked sheepishly at Eposical and said,” I can’t do it, I’m sorry.”
“Then give it to me you coward!” shouted Eposical as he grabbed the Copen and then said snidely,”
Fools always boast before their failures, Dramkick.”
“You’ve got hundreds of soldiers who are going to miss your stench in a few seconds,” said Dramkick confidently as he watched Eposical’s hands and shoulders.
Suddenly there was a large blast and the Famocis stopped moving. Instantly another blast ripped through the weapons control mechanism. Eposical ran from the room and out into the hallway and shouted,” What happened?!”
A blue haired soldier named Seada said sternly,” We’re under attack and completely surrounded.”
“Man the battle stations we can still win this one!” shouted Eposical then he ran to his seat behind the Dureslap canon.
The Dureslap laser canon has a 60 foot wide barrel and is 200 yards long. It could fire a blast every 2
seconds and is fired and aimed by a single gunner. Its blast can destroy small ships and leave a giant hole in a battleship.
Dramkick poked his head out into the main room and saw all of the Udian’s running to their stations.
Then he saw Eposical climbing up into the Dureslap cockpit, so he started to go after him, but as he ran down the corridor a large Udian saw him and went for Dramkick jumping on his back. The 7’0 foot tall orange haired Udian was over 800 pounds of blubber and named Bakon. Dramkick could barely stand up with Bakon’s hands around his neck and his enormous weight pulling him backward. Dramkick grabbed his forearm and bit into it with all of his jaw muscles. The bite took a baseball sized chink of flesh, blood, and bones out of his forearm and Bakon let go and fell back off of Dramkick. Dramkick turned and kicked his kneecaps inward and Bakon fell to the ground like a tall redwood tree.
“Glad to get you off my back,” said Dramkick happily as he rubbed his neck.
Dramkick started to run with his eyes keenly watching all the Udian’s to see if they would attack him.
Inside Rerni Realm Peastro asked sternly,” Why aren’t they answering our hails? They’ve got almost no weapons and no propulsion what are they holding on too?”
“I couldn’t tell you, Pre Ma, should we hit them with some small weapons fire to get their attention?” asked General Stram as he looked intently at Peastro.
“No, let’s just wait a little while longer and see if they blink. They must be contemplating surrender right now and need a bit more time to grasp the gravity of the situation,” said Peastro calmly as he tugged at his beard.
“And don’t forget Dramkick, we can’t take the risk of hitting him with small arms fire. The best idea is to board their ship and lay waste to anyone who gets in our way. Peastro, time is ticking, we need to be swift and bold,” said Coup firmly then he slicked back his hair.
“You’re absolutely right, General Stram, send over a dozen small shuttles and 150 Humpacca’s and let’s get this over with,” said Peastro then he stood up and hurried towards the shuttle bay.
“Where are you going, Peastro?” asked Coup as he followed him out into the hall.
“My friends over there,” answered Peastro quickly.
“You’re right, I’m going too. Builder, I love a dust up,” said Coup as he hurried after Peastro.
They made their way to the hangar bay and got into Trident Souce 3, lifted off and exited the hangar bay with the other shuttle.
“Bring your shuttles in close and attach your belly to their ship. Then we’re gonna blow holes in their ship and overpower them. Anyone you see aiming any weapon in your direction you kill ‘em quick.
But if you kill Dramkick you’re walking home so good luck in there,” said Peastro sternly to the other shuttles over the ship’s communicator and then he turned to Coup and asked,” Boy we had some times in this ship, remember Z and that ridiculous castle?”
“You’re right, Peastro, we are friends again. I wish I could have seen the error of my ways sooner I treated the Kaa like a Hool herd and never like people. I am truly sorry that it took all of this to realize it, Peastro,” said Coup honestly then he grabbed Peastro’s hand.
“We all stray, Coup, we all go down a dirty path, but not all of us make it back. I know now we will always be close friends and that is an absolute joy and hope for me,” said Peastro solemnly then he gave Coup a feature and said sternly,” But right now we’ve got another friend we have to save. So let’s get to it!”
“Wars are for winning, I just pray he’s still alive,” said Coup as he rubbed Peastro’s shoulder.
“He’s Dramkick Reign, please,” said Peastro then he smiled and said,” He has probably killed them all by now.”
Meanwhile inside the Famocis Dramkick was punching every soldier’s head that came near to him right off their shoulders. He had already killed 30 men as he tried to get to Eposical who was taking dead aim at Peastro’s battleship.
“How about a little kiss from death’s lips?” whispered Eposical then he fired the Dureslap into the side of the battleship. It tore through half the ship and killed most of the crew, but did little damage to Rerni Realm where Culby, Yerpo Lle, Meafed, and General Stram were along with all of the top Generals.
“What was that?” asked Coup as he watched the giant blast hit their battleship.
“That was big trouble, we’ve got to stop them before they fire again,” replied Peastro then he hailed General Stram and said,” General Stram, I need a direct shot on that laser canon and I need it yesterday alright!”
“We can’t do it we’ve been crippled, but I sent the message to another battleship,” said General Stram as he sent out the order.
Suddenly one of Dramkick’s battleships aimed and fired at the Dureslap blowing off the barrel of the gun and blowing Eposical backwards 40 feet. He lay there with his body covered in black soot and his hands torn to shreds. He also had several large gashes in his legs that were oozing blood. He said quietly,”
Don’t you know my plans are more important than your lives. I was going to help you all why couldn’t you see that? I could…I could have ruled the universe and helped you all learn to love me. I was your friend.”
Dramkick walked up to him and said snidely,” Say hi to the next life, this one is ours.” Dramkick jumped high above Eposical and came down feet first crushing his skull almost flat as he kicked downward. The other Udian’s were all standing around in shock. Dramkick looked around at them and then he saw Peastro and Coup come out of the smoke.
Peastro shouted,” Dramkick, we thought you’d have killed them all by now what happened?!”
Dramkick smiled and hurried over to Peastro, embraced him and said brightly,” I let a few of them live so there’d be someone to tell the tale.”
“I figured as much,” said Coup as he smiled and then embraced Dramkick. Coup grinned and asked sarcastically,” You sure you wouldn’t rather stay here and get to know these Udian’s better?”
“I would like a swift kick in the head. Let’s leave this ship and now he, hee,” said Dramkick quickly.
They left the Famocis and got inside Trident Souce 3. Once inside they took a look at Peastro’s battleship and what was left of it and Coup said,” It’s a good thing we had the jump on them. If they would have started blasting us with that canon from several other ships, they would have done us in right quick.”
“That’s true and it begs the question are there more ships like that one filled with Udian Soldiers?
These Udians are a plague and their shared insanity gives me great pause,” said Peastro as concern was dancing on his face.
“I don’t see how we can let the rest of Eposical’s soldiers be allowed to live,” said Dramkick firmly as he raised his fist and slammed it on the table.
“We can’t, if for no other reason then they’ll go back to their home world and stir the pot. Then before we know it a thousand of those ships will come looking for us and then we’d have a real problem,”
said Peastro then he sent a message to General Stram to have the Famocis destroyed. A moment later 2
Kaa battleships took dead aim and fired over a hundred missiles into the Famocis blowing it to pieces, but a 40 foot tall by 30 foot wide red pyramid remained. The pyramid had dozens of pulsing blue lights all over it and it gently spun in a circle.
“What in the Terious is that?” asked Coup then he opened a Yazo pop and took a sip.
“It’s their last resort and it spells trouble if we stay here long. I have to get my crew transferred to another one battleship and we need to get boarded ourselves. If I know Eposical that’s a honing beckon and it’s sending out a distress call right now, we must hurry,” said Peastro anxiously then he called in his orders.
Culby, Yerpo Lle, Meafed, and General Stram-as well as the remaining crew members of Peastro’s battleship-were shuttled over to another battleship close by. The fleet turned tails and headed back to Sras Oblique.
Braplot and the Givers of Muas
In the time before the Vindijan Line the world of Sras Oblique was ruled over by the Braplot Dynasty. Istolum Braplot was the last Emperor and his wife Tatchan its Queen. The Braplot’s were part of a royal bloodline that stretched back 50,000 years. The title of Emperor and all his power passed to the 7th child born of the queen mother upon his death. They believed the most powerful genes took several children to reappear and had come to the conclusion that it was the 7th child specifically. The Braplot’s had amassed an enormous fortune during their reign by taxing everyone they ruled over to the nth degree.
They were also in the habit of confiscating priceless paintings and jewelry by saying it was for the common good. Most of the Braplot Emperor’s were kind to their loyal subjects giving them occasional large parties and musical shows paid for by the Braplot’s, but all that changed with Istolum’s 126 year reign.
He created a series of laws that gave him the ability to do whatever he wanted, to anyone he wanted.
They were called The Terrible 300 and included the Too Many Kisses law which stated that if you were seen kissing in public then Istolum could naturally have sex with your wife or girlfriend. There was also the Too Many Questions law which said that if one of his guards heard you ask 3 or more questions about a Braplot then you would have your tongue dipped in Gogant. Gogant would make your tongue shrink to half its size and dramatically change the way you spoke and ate.
After a few people had broken some of The Terrible 300 every resident of Sras Oblique committed them all to memory and went to great pains not break any of them. Istolum was a ruthless Emperor who never could have imagined that when the Pepest moon shifted its orbit, that his way of life and the Braplot’s reign would come to a shrieking halt.
When the Vindijan’s started to pop up all over Sras Oblique the Braplot’s thought of them only as a minor curiosity and paid them no mind. The Vindijan’s meanwhile began to rally behind Venkid Vindijan-a green haired blacksmith who had glowing blue eyes and was powerfully built. Venkid made the point that they were all given their powers for a reason and that reason was to take control of Sras Oblique. After several months Venkid had collected a million Vindijan’s, and they formed a tight knit circle. Then through a series of thefts they were able to steal enough weapons to battle the Braplot soldiers in earnest.
Then on the 645th day of the year of the Builder the Porean War started with a raid on Foiv Castle.
Once they were past Istolum’s security detail they burst into his bedroom and took Istolum and his wife hostage. They also went to his children’s school and snatched them from their classrooms while they gunned down several teachers who tried to stop them. Then they got Istolum to order his troops to ceasefire and lay down their weapons or they said they would kill him. This was a huge mistake, because once they grabbed their weapons and the soldiers were defenseless, they killed every soldier in sight and it became a giant massacre.
After a day and a half all of Istolum’s troops were no more. Then Venkid brought all of the Braplot relatives to Foiv Castle and gave them a large dinner party. After the party Venkid stood up on a podium and gave the Arugilo Speech as it was later called, and said,” The Braplot’s have been good to us and we haven’t forgotten. Many a Kaa and now Vindijan’s have wondered just how good do they have it at Foiv Castle? Many a child has dreamed of walking these beautiful hallways with a friend at their side. I myself often thought I should have been royalty. I look around this room now at the best of us and one thought comes to mind, You’re Nothing! You’re excrement on my shoe! This crown you wear should be squeezed tightly around your necks until you are dead! The Braplot dynasty should be renamed the passed gas in our soup years! I look at you Hoevra and I know you’re dumber than dirt not a one of you has contributed anything substantial to society since Pote Braplot painted the servants bathroom…with rainbows 35,000
years ago! I can’t even bear to look at your pompous faces, but I need to remember the lines on your
wrinkled faces just seconds before you are no more! So I hope you liked the soup that I pissed in, because it will be your last meal. Let ‘em taste a little death!” After he gave his speech several Vindijan’s came up behind each of the Braplot’s and slit their throats. The Braplot dynasty was officially over and the Vindijan Line was born.
Dramkick, Meafed, and Peastro were boarding the small yacht Fochem as they set off for a cruise down the Paslaw River with Culby, Yerpo Lle, Coup, and Nalista already aboard.
“We need this break from it all. We’ve earned this at the very least this my friends,” said Dramkick as he boarded the Fochem.
The Fochem is 1,000 feet long and has 5 large sails that bore Peastro’s visage. It is dark blue in color and has 3 stories of opulence. It also has a 15 person hot tub on the 3rd story as well as a pair of Mopatle suits and harnesses.
Mopatle suits are made from a super resilient Kevlar like material that allows the people wearing them to only feel minor pain as they fought sportingly with one another. They also have sensors and can keep a tally of each blow. The person that got to 50 blows first was the victor and harder blows-as well as more deadly-counted for more.
On the front of the Fochem there were 6 bright green robots that pretended to be enveloped in a fierce battle, but they were never injuring each other at all. Along the hips of the ship there was a large deck that encircled it. And it had several black leather couches and a barbecue pit in between 2 couches.
There were also 4 large holographic TV’s placed at various points around the deck.
The Fochem was heading for the Kampup Marsh. The Kampup is over 800 miles long and is known for the Muas leaf. The Muas leaf washes out all the tension in a person’s mind and soothes any and all pains. It is a square red leaf that is 2 inches thick and chews and tastes like steak. It was called the Muas
after Puctor Muas who found it on an expedition in the 13th century. Puctor was a Vindijan General who mapped many of the unknown regions of Sras Oblique.
“Not we, I…I have earned this for the tremendous worry I’ve been put through because of your abduction. I need a Praem tube and I need it now I’m hooked on these things,” said Meafed nervously then he ran both of his fingers through his hair.
Dramkick reached into his pocket producing a Praem tube and handed it to Meafed with a smile and said brightly,” Enjoy, My Friend, you’ve earned it. Which way to a comfortable seat I need to sit down and relax?”
Everyone walked out onto the deck and grabbed a seat on the large L shaped couch. Slowly Nalista came out of the door to the 2nd level and shouted,” Dramkick, My Love, I will be right down to kiss you!”
“I can’t wait!” yelled back Dramkick as he winked at Nalista and then said,” That woman has kept me guessing and on my toes since the first night we met. She is an absolute blessing.”
“You’re very lucky a good woman is hard to find and a great one even more so. I miss Mela right now, but I am not wrecked like I was. She and I had talked about what if one of us died. We knew it could come at any time, but you never think that now, will come so soon. The old cliché says just let her go and move on, but I reserve the right to sulk and morn her a bit longer,” said Coup slyly with a wry smile.
Coup opened the armrest and pulled a bottle of Borco wine out of a refrigerator and popped the cork.
Coup poured everyone a glass then handed them out and as he handed Dramkick his glass Nalista grabbed it out of his hand and drank it.
Nalista said coyly,” You shouldn’t drink, but I should drink double doctor’s request.”
Dramkick grabbed her by the butt and pulled her close, kissing her passionately. Dramkick said jokingly,” Who’s this doctor and why is he talking to my lady? I must kill him soon.”
Nalista laughed as she sat in Dramkick’s lap, but just as she sat down a gigantic glowing green outline of a face appeared in the sky. It smiled and then said coldly,” Don’t get too cozy, I’ll be here soon to talk terms of surrender. Enjoy the river Friends.” The green face exploded and only the word Fatewatcher appeared in its steed in bright red letters.
“Fatewatcher…that stinks of trouble,” said Peastro as he looked up at the word in the sky.
“It’s been nothing but for some time now. Let’s be serious he said terms which could mean a lot of things, but I’m too worn out to care. Let’s just have a good time and let the chips fall off the table,” said Dramkick plainly as he rubbed Nalista’s thigh.
Peastro laughed and nodded, but he secretly thought that this was going to be big trouble. He’d seen gestures like this before and he knew it always meant an uncomfortable decision. He thought of Macre and how she had done something similar. Then he let out a sigh and pushed his fears to the back of his mind.
“You’re right we’ll take this time together as a blessing and give no weight to their sign in the sky.
Who wants to watch a movie? I’ve got the last Va Bleem movie he made before passing called Stone Dust for Longing,” Peastro smiled as he got up and walked over to the holographic TV, pressed the power button and grabbed the dragon shaped remote control.
“I would love a movie, is this Va Bleem any good?” asked Dramkick then he pulled Nalista’s ponytail back and purred at her.
“He was the absolute best before he died. And this film is his best work you’ll love it I assure you,”
said Coup quickly then he jumped up out of his seat and slowly levitated as he sat back down.
Peastro started Stone Dust for Longing and the film opened with Va sitting in the middle of a busy street. He sat there paying no mind to the cars and Hovacycles flying past him. Then he reached into his pocket and pulled out a single Tut cigarette. He pressed the self lighting tip and started to smoke. He
looked totally at ease and paid no mind to the cars whizzing by. Then he levitated while lying on his back still in between the cars and smoking. The camera pulled in and there was a close up of his upper torso as he had a smile on his face and he said softly,” So I am it.”
Instantly a red laser beam came out of the sky and shot through his body. His entire body glowed and then he just vanished. The camera came out to a wide shot and then went black as slowly it became the view from inside Va eyes. It showed a gorgeous green haired woman standing over him and she said sternly,” You can’t live with them anymore, Pix, they’re onto you.”
“So this is the Pemcamp dimension,” said Va as he was helped up by Branquline.
“It is and I love you,” said Branquline then she grabbed him by the sides of his head and French kissed him while she wrapped her left leg around him.
Va kissed her for a few seconds and then pushed her away and said snidely,” You’re not my kind and you know it. Kissing you is like kissing a Hool’s butt, you disgust me.”
“I missed you too, Pix, we must hurry to the Coalyep seal before they catch on,” said Branquline then she squeezed Va’s mouth and pushed him away.
“Then we’re lightning where’s the transport?” asked Va anxiously.
“It’s this way follow me,” said Branquline as she grabbed Va’s hand and jumped down a slide to the right of a small closet they were standing in.
They slid at tremendous speed down the black slide that had bright green lights lighting the way.
They came out on a small platform feet first and Va almost fell off the side into a giant river, but Branquline pulled him back with both hands and said slyly,” Don’t die just yet, I’ve been missing your body.”
“Well at least your priorities are straight,” said Va smoothly as he looked down at the raging river.
The platform they were on was made of wood and stretched across a large river that led to the Dubpear Chateau. The Dubpear was made to look like a Muion, which is similar to a tiger, but has black fur with red spots and a pair of long white curling horns. In front of the Dubpear is a labyrinth of bushes that form a series of tunnels with only one leading to the Chateau.
Va and Branquline walked across the platform and then out of the bushes came 3 white robed riders on the backs of Muions-with black steel swords in each of their hands.
“Stick close, we can take them if we work together!” shouted Va as she sized up the attackers.
The lead rider went straight for Va and tried to trample him, but he did a front flip and landed on the back of his Muion. He threw his legs up over the attacker’s shoulders and grabbed him around the neck with his calves. He used his leg strength to throw him off the Muion and then said snidely,” You got a little too cozy for my tastes.”
Meanwhile Branqulin had 2 riders baring down on her. Va saw this and rode his Muion right in between the 2 of them and punched them simultaneously. They each fell off the sides of their Muions.
“Branquline, why don’t you help out a little,” said Va coyly as he smiled at Branquline.
Branquline jumped on her own Muion and said boldly,” Give me a minute.”
She rode quickly at one of the attacker’s and rode right over him crushing him to death. Then she was besieged by the other 2, but she was able to grab the dead rider’s blade. She exchanged sword thrusts with each of them, but was barely keeping them at bay. Just then Va came up behind one of them and dove into their back head first slamming him hard into the platform. This distracted the other just long enough for Branquline to flip his blade out of his hand and sally through his chest. Va meanwhile grabbed hold of the other attacker’s neck and broke it and he perished soon after.
“Another day of taking fool’s lives, suits us well I think,” said Branquline jokingly then she curtsied and stuck out her tongue at Va.
“It’s better than a day dying a horrible death. I think, I mean how would we know we’re still kickin’,” said Va then he spun around in a circle and made a goofy face.
Branquline smiled, laughed and then they continued into the tunnel of bushes. Inside the tunnel it was lit by torches and the path was made of a thick matted down green grass that had a large steel emblem every 10 feet of Spamtha.
Spamtha was the lord who ruled over the region and did so with an iron fist. He had a face like an eagle, with orange skin instead of feathers. He was athletically built with large powerful shoulders and large forearms that were covered in curly purple hair. He wore the identical black leather jacket, white jeans, and red t shirt and green leather sneakers every day. Spamtha had 70 children by 30 wives and all of them were General’s in his personal army.
Peastro chewed on a Pent cookie and then asked,” This movie is outstanding on so many levels.
What do you think so far?”
“This Va is a genius. The ease at which he can deliver these moments is breathtaking. And that actress is more than holding her own. What is her name?” asked Dramkick as he had his eyes glued on the movie.
“Branquline, she’s a Vindijan one of the very few who would bother with acting. I met her a few years back and she was extremely fun to talk too and even more radiant in person,” said Peastro then he took another bite of his cookie.
“Is that right, how she could be more beautiful is beyond me. Fun to talk to you say…well in that case I may have to leave you, Nalista,” said Dramkick sarcastically as he smiled at Nalista.
“Don’t you get fresh with me, Dramkick, or you’ll be sleeping alone,” said Nalista curtly as she folded her arms and gave Dramkick a fierce look.
“Only kidding, My Love, I will be more considerate of your feelings in the future o.k.?” asked Dramkick warmly as he hugged Nalista.
“O.k., but jokes sometimes come true that’s why I don’t like so many,” said Nalista then she kissed Dramkick.
Suddenly Va and Branquline continued on at a brisk pace through the tunnels and just as they rounded a corner another green haired man in a white robe aimed his Morscam rifle at Va’s face and said sternly,” Careful, Pix, it’s time to talk with Spamtha. He’s been awaiting your arrival and no you won’t be taking his life.”
“Don’t be so sure, Cainslote, every breath you allow me to take brings Spamtha’s last nearer and nearer,” said Va snidely as he stared down Cainslote.
“You pompous windbag just shut your idiot mouth and get moving,” said Cainslote snidely as he poked Va with the Morscam.
The Morscam is 3 feet long and has 3 barrels that fires small metal balls that are packed with explosives called Sinkas that can kill a man instantly. It is yellow in color and has a holographic laser scope.
“Watch it!” said Va sternly then he and Branquline started walking in front of Cainslote.
They walked another hundred yards and came to a Y shaped dark blue door that had a gold handle in the shape of Spamtha’s face. Va grabbed the door handle, twisted it and then the door opened into a large indoor garden. There were thousands of flowers, fruits, and vegetables growing in semicircles, as well as a Posibetty fern.
The Posibetty is a fern that grows in the shape of a person-usually in the shape of the person who watered it. They would also embrace anyone who got close. They have dark red leaves and vines and have an undesirable trait of periodically passing gas.
“Aren’t we going inside, Cainslote?” asked Va snidely as he smirked at Cainslote.
“Don’t get cute, Pix, my finger may slip and then you two would be no more. I’d be a wreck if such a thing were to happen let me tell ya,” said Cainslote slyly then he poked Va in the back.
Va held his anger inside as he saw the Posibetty fern and walked in the direction of it. He knew that it would reach out and grab anyone who got close. So he timed out his steps to bring Cainslote close enough to get snagged. Then as they were within a few steps he coyly asked,” So how’s the old man doing? I heard his organs were filled with stone dust.”
“Hey, You, watch it you’ve got no right to…” said Cainslote as he was grabbed by the Posibetty fern and dropped his gun.
Branquline grabbed the Morscam and aimed it at Cainslote and said brightly,” I had no idea you loved nature so much. Go ahead and give her a hug for me.”
Va laughed and then Cainslote shouted,” You hurt me and your lives will be pain upon pain!”
“But you’ll be dead tee-he,” said Va then Branquline stepped backward and shot Cainslote.
The Sinkas hit Cainslote and blew him and the Posibetty fern to a million pieces. Then Va and Branquline took a look around and Va said,” We need to take care of Spamtha and at least now we’ll have the jump on him. I think we should go up those stairs.
Peastro stood up and said,” I need to get a bit of rest. Tell me what you thought of the movie in the morning.”
“Of Course, Peastro, have a nice rest,” said Dramkick then he quickly shot his eyes back to the movie.
“Goodbye, Peastro, see you in the morning,” said Nalista happily then she squeezed Dramkick’s bicep.
“Sleep well,” said Coup then he gave Peastro a smile.
Peastro walked into the Fochem and down a brief brown wood hallway that had several family pictures of him, Culby, and Yerpo Lle. He opened the door at the end of the hallway and saw Culby and Yerpo Lle asleep on the couch with the Amazing Bovels movie playing on the flat screen TV.
The Amazing Bovels is a children’s movie that centers around the misadventures of Gasply Bovel and his 4 identical twin brothers. They are a crime fighting family who have the Vindijan’s powers as well as the ability to hear a person’s inner monologue. Also they can lose body parts only to have them grown back an hour later.
The room has a large green eyeball shaped bed that has a doorway on either side. You can get in, close the doors and have total darkness as well as silence, with of course a small light and refrigerator in case you needed them. There is also a pair of matching green dressers that have a round mirror on top of each. The dresser drawers are voice operated so you only had to say socks and the sock drawer would open. There is one wall that is covered with a wallpaper TV and the other 3 had paintings by Calvador Embrandt.
Calvador was a rarity on Sras Oblique and that was because he was part Kaa and Vindijan. He was the illegitimate son of Pasme Vindijan born during his reign as Emperor. Calvador saw his father 3 times in his life. His birth, his acceptance party for the Youblan Art College, and 2 days before Pasme died, but Calvador didn’t hate his father. He didn’t because as time went by he knew if his father was found out for his indiscretion it would cost him his life as it was considered a major offense by the Vindijan’s.
Calvador’s paintings were of people that had never existed. He took great pains to make his subjects up from scratch and to give them no identifiable features of any person he knew of. His work created a new genre known as Forbidden Brush Strokes. Upon the final day of his life-as his heart pumped for the last few times-he shouted the words,” I painted the spirits and the cruelty of great men. This was my charge and I am not sorry! Builder shake my hand, but don’t steal my brush it was a friend to me when I answered as much!”
On the floor were 8 different rugs woven together to form a multi-colored floor rug. There is also 3
large X shaped windows that face the side of the ship that have thick red curtains in front of them, with the words Pre Ma and Cre Ma sewn into them in black.
Peastro walked over and sat beside Culby giving her a hug and a kiss. This caused her to wake up and she asked,” What time is it?”
“Its 3rd T sun, how have you been?” asked Peastro as he gave her a kiss on the lips.
“I’m great really, Yerpo Lle and I were really enjoying a few films,” said Culby softly then she yawned and stretched her arms.
“I can see that, I was watching Stone Dust for Longing with everyone up on the platform. It seemed like Dramkick was really enjoying it,” said Peastro then he looked at Yerpo Lle sound asleep.
“That’s great to hear. You should have heard what Yerpo Lle said to me,” said Culby happily.
“What was it?”
“He said Mom, when I’ve aged another ten years passed will my bravery age too. I mean will I get so brave that nothing scares me. And then I said sternly you may get braver, but you’ll always be scared of Mum,” said Culby.
“That’s hilarious I’ll have to remember that and kid him tomorrow. Well, Gorgeous, why don’t we send Yerpo Lle to bed and you and I can break another mattress,” said Peastro smoothly.
“You read my subconscious, I’ll carry him over,” said Culby then she lifted up Yerpo Lle and carried him into the adjoining bedroom.
Sharing a Phrup of 8 Dolca
As Peastro dreamed of his late father and the 2 of them laughing and joking over a meal suddenly he was awoken by a loud crashing sound. He jumped up out of his bed and ran down the hallway in his white shirt and black silk pajama bottoms. Then he darted out into the deck to see a quarter mile long battleship with a green silk curtains covering the facing side. The ship was hidden behind the curtain and only the outline could be seen. As he stood looking at it perplexed Dramkick and Coup came out onto the deck and Coup asked,” Is it one of ours?”
“It can’t be, my soldiers are too disciplined for pranks. The question is are we safe standing here?”
asked Peastro as he looked at the ship.
“Where would we go?” asked Dramkick as he looked at the ship.
Suddenly the green curtain slowly rose up and behind it in the center was a 50 foot long stage with a man in a black leather unitard sitting provocatively on a small bed. The woman’s face had a large pointy nose like a baby’s bottle with a round black tip. Her eyes were bright yellow, large, and deeply set in his head. Her mouth was agape with his lower teeth extending an inch beyond his upper teeth. She had tightly matted seal black hair that looked like a baseball cap that was pressed tightly into his head. Her skin was dirt brown and had small specs of orange all over his body. Her hands and feet are coarse and look like they are filled with air. Her chest looks like oddly shaped woman’s breasts and he is 5’7” and 130 pounds.
The woman started to shake his booty as he lay on the bed. He jumped up and started to dance suggestively as he blew kisses to Peastro. Dramkick and Coup laughed and Coup said,” He’s perfect for ya, Peastro, Culby should be terrified!”
“Oh great, Coup, let’s just forget that right now. If this is what he meant by terms of surrender then there will be no surrender and a new war is about to begin,” said Peastro sternly as he felt his stomach turning at the lewd dancing.
“Peastro, I think you owe it to the Kaa to do whatever it takes to avoid a potential war,” said Dramkick jokingly.
“What are you Buckve!” said Peastro quickly as he glared at Dramkick.
“It’s for the greater good and your troops will appreciate the gesture,” said Dramkick then he glared back at Peastro and smiled.
“I hate to break it to you, but I’ll pass. But since it was your idea maybe he’ll settle for you huh, Dramkick?” Peastro asked sarcastically then he poked Dramkick in the chest.
Dramkick shook his head no then he said brightly,” Well there’s always Coup.”
“I’m all for another war it’s high time,” said Coup sternly as he watched the man do a somersault.
Then 3 female dancers in red silk dresses came out of a door at the back of the stage and danced around the woman as she gyrated. They suddenly stopped and a hovering throne came out of the side of the stage and the woman got on. She flew over to where Peastro was and stepped off and said warmly,”
Hello, Peastro, I am Fatewatcher and I am here to get a child from you, please.”
“Hi, Fatewatcher, ah what child?” asked Peastro as he looked around perplexed.
“I would like to bare your child and raise he or she as their mother on my home planet of Brax.”
“Wait ah minute this may sound strange but…aren’t you a man?” asked Peastro as he furrowed his brow.
“Peastro, that isn’t funny obviously I’m a voluptuous woman. Granted I’ve aged a few years, but I am still vibrant and sexy as can be. Now with that said all that I want from you is a few minutes or hours if you like of passionate sex. Then I can leave here and never trouble you again. It’s not a large thing that I am asking of you if you think about it,” said Fatewatcher softly as she looked warmly at Peastro.
“Well if I think about it, it is! What do you think my husband is some kind of sperm donor! Maybe you’d like the chance to raise him and treat his son poorly to get back at him for something he may have done to someone you know,” said Culby sternly as she put her arm around Peastro’s waist.
“Please let the grownup’s talk. We don’t need your input,” said Fatewatcher condescendingly as she glared at Culby.
“Grownups, well look here you worthless and hideous old hag. Here’s my input considering it’s my HUSBAND! Take your beaten up ego and set yourself on a course for home ‘cause my husband’s children will be raised by me and me alone, Fatewatcher, got it!” said Culby coldly then she smiled at Fatewatcher.
Fatewatcher started to sing a perfect high C with lightning vibrato and then she slowly walked over to Peastro and grabbed his crotch, kissed him hard and said in a sultry voice,” When you’re ready come find me in my ship, I will be right here.”
She turned and walked over to her hovering throne and flew back to her ship while everyone watched in amazement. Peastro looked at Culby whose jaw was dropped and then Dramkick asked,” Is it a date?”
“Dramkick, please,” said Culby quickly and then she said softly,” Thank Builder she’s gone that Densk was a horror to behold.”
“I miss her,” said Peastro jokingly as he looked blankly forward.
“What, are you Buckve? You can’t be serious, Peastro. Tell me you’re kidding?” pleaded Culby then she grabbed Peastro’s chin and made him look at her.
“It’s the strangest thing, that woman is so unattractive and completely what I am not attracted too, that I am unbelievably drawn to her. The way I feel right now I want to give her that child,” said Peastro plainly as he looked down at Culby.
“Peastro, that is lunacy! Look you can’t do this what about me and your son, how can you do this to us?” asked Culby as she cried.
“Culby, I don’t see the harm in giving this woman a child. I mean, she doesn’t want a relationship.
She’ll get what she wants and we’ll never see her again. And if you’re worried about the sex it will be nothing more than an exchange of fluids, really,” said Peastro sternly then he looked at Dramkick.
“Peastro, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been drugged. Listen to the tone of your speaking voice it’s extremely dry and soft, because an aphrodisiac passed over your vocal chords. I know this because it happened to me once in college,” said Dramkick boldly as he shrugged his shoulders.
“No it,” said Peastro then he heard his voice and said,” whoa it is different. She must have had it in her mouth and passed it to me when she kissed me. Oh Builder, this could have been really bad. It was lucky you were here, Dramkick, thank you. And, Culby, I am so sorry for what I just put you through,”
said Peastro then he put his hands on Culby’s shoulders.
“You’re drugged it’s o.k., but that Densk Fatewatcher and her gaudy green ship need to be done away with quick!” said Culby then she kissed Peastro.
“She’s right, Peastro, as far as she knows you’re thinking over her request. Which gives us the window we need to send a message to General Trowd. I’ll go inside and take care of it you need to continue to appear to be mulling it over,” said Coup smoothly then he hurried into the ship.
“He’s right, Peastro stay out here on the deck with your head in your hands while you ,Culby, need to storm off, because Fatewatcher is undoubtedly watching us right now,” said Dramkick slyly then he gave Culby a tap on the stomach.
Culby shouted,” You ruined us, Peastro, and I can’t forgive you for that!” and then she slapped him and stormed back into the ship.
Peastro sat down on the couch and Dramkick sat down beside him and lit up a smoke. On Fatewatcher’s ship she was eagerly watching the action through a black tinted window inside the Aura Enhancer Room.
It has thousands of elixir filled bubbles that would stick to you and eventually burst. The different chemicals would give a person different feelings and coat their body in a thin film of healthy potion.
Some of the bubbles were large enough to lift you off the ground and float you up close to the ceiling.
The floor was covered with a thick red air mattress. The walls have naked pictures of Fatewatcher in provocative poses. There are also several beautiful songs by the band Brovex.
Brovex is a 2 piece synth band that only uses 7 notes in all of their melodies. They have the longest running number 1 single on the Brax charts that has stayed there for 7 years and six months called Passion Is A Verb In The Mornings. Their lead singer Tatish was 5 years old when he joined the group and was already a virtuoso guitar player. Now 25, he has grown into a virtual no nonsense politician abandoning music all together. His bandmate-Wengele Potpe-has recently run on the opposing side in an election for Bauksit (which is the caretaker of the gavel at senate meetings).
“It looks like I’ve got some action down there. Boy, he might be over here sooner than I thought.
Look at him sitting in anguish and all over pretty little me how exciting,” said Fatewatcher as she floated on a large blue bubble.
“He’s the sucker you thought he was. If he were so powerful he would know right now what had happened. It looks like we won’t need to use force which is a far more appealing way to go about this sort of thing,” said Darcebut Morshame as she lay on the floor sipping a glass of Coubol.
Coubol is a fried soda pop that has a meaty after taste and is 70 percent caffeine. It was invented by loan shark Coubol B. Camp after he dropped his soda into a deep fryer. After he tasted his new creation and liked it he created his own soda and deep fried it to perfection.
Darcebut Morshame is brown skinned with yellow freckles. She has dark brown braided hair that falls to the small of her back. Her face is stunningly beautiful with dark brown eyes and large pouty lips.
She is voluptuous and has an athletic figure. She is only wearing a black lace string bikini and a gold and emerald necklace.
“Boy am I gonna get some handsome and soon. Then we can leave and have our own Venkid to raise and take out our aggression on for the death of Brade. Yup, old Peastro’s going to learn not to mess with us when 15 years from now his son comes here with an armada and blows him to pieces. Won’t that be a glorious day, Darcebut?” asked Fatewatcher then she let out a cackle and waved at Peastro.
“It will be what we’ve waited for. And your idea to use the Mima pill and yourself as the woman, sheer genius, because right now he’s conflicted over the fact that well…”
“You can say it I’m not beautiful,” said Fatewatcher quickly.
“Well, so he thinks it’s so terrible that his mind can’t process it and that’s why he’s attracted to you.
Now that man is a complete tricked fool and we’re the ones laughing,” said Darcebut then she started laughing a sinister laugh.
“O.K. look, Peastro, when Coup comes back I want you to start to go for Fatewatcher’s ship and I’ll hold you back. Then I’ll sit you back down and we’ll pretend to be having the you sure you really wanna
do this speech. Then Coup will go get Culby and hopefully the fleet will be here by the time she comes outside alright just nod,” said Dramkick as he patted Peastro on the back.
Peastro nodded and fought back a smile. Coup came outside with a serious look on his face and walked up to Peastro as he sat down beside him and said,” We are a go, the fleet will be here in 10
minutes. When they arrive they’re going to send a shuttle to grab us and they will pepper Fatewatcher’s ship with laser fire and missiles to give us cover for our escape. And don’t worry, I’ve already told Culby and she’ll hurry outside with Yerpo Lle in a few minutes o.k.,” explained Coup.
“O.K. boy I can’t wait ‘til Fatewatcher is dead. To think that I almost went with her is the most disgusting thing I can think of,” said Peastro sternly as he looked at Coup and then Dramkick’s face.
“We would never have let that happen so don’t worry about it,” said Coup.
“He’s right we had you covered, Peastro,” said Dramkick.
Then they sat for a few minutes with concerned looks on their faces. Culby and Yerpo Lle came outside and walked over to Peastro and stood in front of him with their backs to Fatewatcher’s ship. She started waving her arms and then she shouted,” I’ll never forgive you. If you do this we are over and that is final! Think of your son, Peastro!”
“I’m sorry, but I have to do this Fatewatcher and I have a connection. You’ll just have to understand!” shouted Peastro then he pushed Culby away.
Fatewatcher and Darcebut were watching and laughing at the drama and then Fatewatcher said snidely,” You’re getting what you deserve, Peastro, and I’m getting your son. I can’t wait to hold him in my arms and look down at his angelic face and spit on it.”
Without warning the Kaa fleet descended upon Peastro’s ships. A pair of shuttles were deployed.
The rest of the fleet opened fire on Fatewatcher pummeling her ship on every side. She fell from the bubble she was on and asked frantically,” What’s happening?!”
“I don’t know, but we need to get to the main part of the ship to find out. Hurry before it’s too late!”
said Darcebut frantically as she helped Fatewatcher up off the floor. Fatewatcher and Darcebut ran for the control deck.
Meanwhile everyone including Peastro got on the 2 shuttles and were transported to Peastro’s Venebon battleship. Once inside they made their way to Rerni Realm where Cleric Cortel met them at the entryway and said boldly,” We have them in a triangular crossfire as well as a perfect net of ships to block their escape. The question is do we want them destroyed or are we interested in capture?” asked Cortel then he handed Peastro a Tut cigarette.
Peastro rubbed the self lighting tip and then took a drag and said sternly,” Capture, for certain I need to speak with that horrific woman once more so as to deduce her true intentions for coming here. Let’s face it she wasn’t here just for a child, it had to be something more. Take care of it, Cortel,” said Peastro then he turned to Coup and asked,” Coup, what could be the possible reasons for her cowardly actions?”
“War, has to be we must have defeated her people Builder knows when and now they want revenge.
But ask her anyway so we can at least find out which war it was in case they decide to come back with full strength. It’s always better to know who your opponent is as soon as possible,” said Coup smoothly then he folded his arms and tugged at his beard.
Fatewatcher’s ship was being bombarded and tried in vain to return fire, but it was too late as most of its guns had been destroyed. By the time Fatewatcher got to the control room the ship was heavily destroyed. The control room was heart shaped and had one long continuous monitor on all the walls that followed their natural curvature. The space above the walls had a series of Monemai holograms on it.
Monemai holograms are of armor platted warriors who fought with flowers and vegetables. They are thought to have a soothing quality and improve a person’s focus in times of severe stress. They were created by Dr. Ot Monemai when he got frustrated with the constant stress during surgery and needed something that could relieve the stress. So he started toiling at home for over a year and a half at possible cures and eventually stumbled upon the Monemai. It was after seeing his son playing in the garden with a steel helmet on his head and waving a large flower like sword.
In front of all the monitors were small keyboards and each had a different colored light emitting from each-as well as a small ape-like robots running each. On the floor was a soft rubber that moved and lowered and raised dependent upon who was walking on it and how heavy they were. The ceiling had 57
holsters with collapsible gunnery mounts so that Fatewatcher could manually run any of the weapons on the ship from right in that room.
Fatewatcher ran into the room and looked at the damage report and said sadly,” 59% damage we’re too beat up to fight back. Stop all firing immediately, Darcebut, all is lost.”
“I’ll take care of it, but they might destroy us even if we do?” said Darcebut implying a question.
“Then we’ll die here today. We can only hope they’ll be merciful, Darcebut,” said Fatewatcher then she walked over to one of the computers and as she went to sit down a white leather throne came out of the floor beneath her.
“Stop firing and hail them,” said Peastro sternly as he waved his hand gently from his seat in Rerni Realm.
“They’re hailing us, Fatewatcher, I’m putting them on the monitor now,” said Darcebut as she walked over next to Fatewatcher and sat down beside her.
Peastro and Coup’s faces appeared on the monitor and then Peastro said coldly,” You will surrender right now or you will be destroyed. Take a minute to decide.”
“We surrender, we’ll agree to any and all terms you set. You may board our ship and go through the taking of prisoners of war routine. Is that agreeable?” asked Fatewatcher then she let out a sigh.
“It is indeed hold tight, Sexy,” said Peastro snidely then he smiled from ear to ear.
His face went off the monitor and Fatewatcher looked at Darcebut fiercely and said sternly,” That despicable terrible horror of a man! It may be worth my life for his.”
“What are you planning?” asked Darcebut as she looked at Fatewatcher’s sweating hands.
“I’ve got a little surprise for Peastro. Let’s just say he’ll be sorry if we share breath again,” said Fatewatcher coldly.
Back in Rerni Realm everyone was still laughing hysterically at Peastro’s comment. Coup said,” Boy did she have to eat that one. I’d be careful when you see her she may have something planned.”
“That’s a good point, Peastro, honestly she has nothing to lose now. I bet if she got close she might want to repay you for your hospitality,” said Dramkick as he patted Peastro on his right shoulder.
Peastro looked up at Dramkick and said stunned,” That’s an exceptional point. I mean her little plan just went bust. If she was here for evil reasons then maybe as a last resort she’d like to take me and possibly you, Coup, out of the picture. If that be the case we need to be prepared for her.”
“I’ve got it, we’ll meet her in Owns lounge and we’ll put a sheet of protective glass in front of all of us. Then we’ll use the proper lighting to hide this from her and wait and see if she strikes,” said Coup proudly as he sucked in his cheeks.
“Brilliant, just for the sheer joy of seeing her attack in vain will light my heart ablaze. This is too perfect and too easy to fail,” said Dramkick brightly as he grinned slightly and then he caught himself and said sternly,” but what if her fleet is on the way right now, we need to be mindful of this.”
“And we shall,” said Peastro then he stood up and made for the Owns lounge. 2000 Humpacca’s raided Fatewatcher’s ship and subdued all of her forces. They put Fatewatcher in shackles made form Boed metal.
Boed adheres to the skin and makes movement impossible for your wrists.
They transported Fatewatcher by shuttle to Peastro’s Venebon Battleship and put her in a plasma cell. The cell has only a toilet and a small bed with a 3 inch thick blue mattress on top. The walls are black with small triangle shaped pictures of Peastro placed every few feet. The floor is a hard black rubber that has the Pre Ma and Cre Ma crests upon it.
The Owns Lounge is fitted with a thin piece of bulletproof glass in front of the long black leather couches ready for when Fatewatcher gets interrogated. The lounge is set up with 3 levels with a bar area on the 1st and a games area on the second, as well as a lounge on the third. Each level is 3 feet higher than the previous. The lighting is a dull blue light and there is a thin red smoke from the burning of a Tosmeght root.
The Tosmeght root when burned causes a person’s body to release endorphins upon inhaling. It also forces the subconscious to be easily accessed. It is a favorite at parties and weddings of the Kaa.
Peastro walks into the Owns Lounge and is met by Brepps Totsa who says brightly,” Everything is ready on the third level, Pre Ma.”
Brepps is green skinned and has pumpkin colored hair that looks like the branches of a tree hanging down. His eyes are T shaped and turquoise and appear joyful. He has boyish good looks and he is wearing a short sleeve white cashmere sweater with a turtleneck. And he has on a pair of black jeans and red Caha sneakers.
Caha is a favorite shoe for runners and are form fitting shoes that have thick red foam that slides into the crevasses of your feet. They were invented by Panhogh Caha a former garbage man who got sick of his aching feet at the end of each day, so he set out to make the world’s most comfortable shoe.
“Is this glass partition perceptible?” asked Peastro as he walked up the stairs.
“Not even slightly, Pre Ma, it’s as if it isn’t there,” said Brepps as he walked beside Peastro.
“Where will the security be when she makes her move?” asked Coup as he walked up to the glass partition to inspect it.
“Well have Humpacca’s behind those 2 way mirrors who will be ready to pounce in an instant,” said Brepps with a smile.
“They’re Humpacca’s that’s assumed,” replied Peastro quickly with a smirk.
Coup smiled and Brepps laughed and then Dramkick said,” This will be one of the more entertaining times I’ve spent in a lounge in quite some time.”
“The moment when her face hits the glass when she leaps forward to assassinate me may end up being the greatest moment of my life. The instant when she realizes she’s been duped will grab her conscious mind like a hundred pound crane,” said Peastro snidely as he grabbed Dramkick’s shoulders tightly and shook them.
“The glory of that moment can’t be expressed in words, but honestly if she’s coming here to murder either you or Coup, then she has it coming to her and I think the Builder would agree wholeheartedly,”
said Dramkick as he tried not to laugh.
“O.K., Brepps, bring in the walking Hool steak. Gentlemen, let us get into position,” said Peastro slyly then they all walked around the glass partition and took their seats.
Fatewatcher was lying on her belly in her cell when the white haired baby faced guard named Yoa came to her door and said,” The Pre Ma would like to speak to you, Fatewatcher, please follow me.”
Fatewatcher felt her heart skip a beat and she smiled slightly and said,” Of course, lead the way.”
Yoa fitted her with Boed shackles and led her down a long hallway to the Owns Lounge. They walked in and quickly up the 2 flights of gently sloping stairs. Yoa stopped her 6 feet short of the glass partition and removed her shackles.
“Hello, Fatewatcher, I’ve brought you here to get the truth of why you really came here. And I know it was for more than a child ,so don’t even think of using that thread of lies. So please, Fatewatcher, just level with me and I might release you if I believe what you’ve said,” said Peastro as he sat with his fingers interlocking.
Fatewatcher smiled and then said boldly,” Alright, you want the truth, I am here because you murdered Brade. He was a countryman of mine and his death being that I was his wife, can never be forgiven. As far as wanting your child I felt you owed me a child considering you took my husband before we were able to conceive.”
“Isn’t that fascinating it’s always a wonder to me how a person’s brain can rationalize things. So after Tonkato’s curse fell flat you started devising a new and better approach to taking the air out of my lungs,” said Peastro in a patronizing voice as he smirked at Fatewatcher.
“What is this Tonkato’s curse?” asked Dramkick as he looked at Peastro.
“Oh it’s this childish act that Fatewatcher and her idiot ilk think can bring a man to his early demise.
Ya see when you sleep if you cross your arms like this,” said Peastro as he crossed his arms in an X as he laughed and then said,” it’s supposed to hex a person and then they apparently die by horrible means.
How’d that work out for ya, Fatewatcher?” asked Peastro snidely.
“Go ahead, go ahead and mock me, but your time will come and sooner than you think. We have a saying on our world, if you spit on the lonely you end up alone and if you kill the pure heart of a good person your chest will explode,” said Fatewatcher as she glared at Peastro.
“We have a saying too it goes, don’t sniff a Hool’s butt or you might taste his supper. What it means and I can see you are lost, is people like yourself only do the dumbest things because your brains are filled with pompous egos and meaningless mantras,” said Peastro as everyone laughed.
Fatewatcher bit her lip and glared fiercely at Peastro as he laughed. She reached into her crotch and leapt at him going face first into the solid glass partition and then falling backwards.
The room burst into laughter. She lay there with a broken nose and a bloody mouth and shouted,”
Your reckoning is at a hand, Peastro! I’ll be back with an enormous army and I’ll wipe you and all your Kaa friends from Sras Oblique for good, mark my words!”
“Back, you’re not going anywhere,” replied Peastro as he grinned and then said,” Enjoy your cozy little cell, because it’s as good as it’s going to get for you. And as I remember it and I remember it well, your husband was collecting people like they were play things. So don’t try to act like you’re so innocent and your people are so kind, because I am not deceived,” said Peastro sternly as he shook his head no.
Fatewatcher let out a shriek, jumped up and stuck her blade into the glass partition causing it to shatter. Then she ran at Peastro who levitated straight up and she crashed head first into the couch.
Dramkick grabbed both of her wrists in one hand and around her waist with the other and did a lightning quick spin and tossed her across the room and said,” A pleasure, Madam.”
She smashed into the wall and it broke her arm and leg. Peastro floated over to her and said,” You need to relax life’s a thrill ride.”
Peastro motioned to his Humpacca’s and they grabbed her and started to take her away when she shouted,” Death is the only friend you’ll ever know so I hope you enjoyed your worthless life! I know one thing is for certain you won’t ever defeat me, because I’M EVERYWHERE! We will get you, Peastro!”
Peastro looked at Dramkick and Coup and then said plainly,” Well at least she’s gracious.”
They all broke out laughing as Fatewatcher shrieked.
Open Season for the Switchfact
After the Fatewatcher debacle everyone agreed they needed a vacation. Coup suggested they visit Momma Redcap’s (which is a manmade half mile high mountain). It is filled with lavish hotel rooms, pools, gyms, arcades, and the Rungeon.
The Rungeon is a large maze of secret passageways and amazing treats and pleasures that center around a 6 team hunt for the glowing crystal orb known as the Rungeon. The winning team got full use of the top 2 levels of the mountain which have every luxury imaginable, including Momma Redcap herself who was a world renowned gourmet chef and would cook every meal for the winners.
Momma Redcap created her retreat with the money she inherited from Duke Nogent Redcap-her father. She was a petit woman of 4’8” and only 103 pounds. She has long straight flowing auburn hair that has a beautiful natural aroma. Her eyes are peach colored and sensual. She loves handmade antique dresses and wears them daily from her collection of over 3,000. She has 2 boys of her own Dodeus and Peemelt the younger brother. Her husband Vandemer is a t-shirt designer and made a fortune with his shirt that read,” I’ll punch you in the mouth if you read my shirt,” and had a smiling mouth beneath it.
As they arrived at Momma Redcap’s it was early evening and the 3rd T sun. There is a spade shaped entrance that is surrounded by thick yellow bushes that go 100 feet high. There are bright blue lights above the doors and there could be heard a single cello playing a mournful song.
They exited the shuttle and were met by a concierge named Pavask Cam. He is 8 feet tall and rail thin, with dark green curly hair that looks like a cowboy hat of curls. His eyes are bright purple and have a faraway look to them. His nose looks like a squirrel’s tail. He is wearing one of Vandemer’s shirts that has a bottle of wine and the words,” You’re 20 drinks away from being my dream girl and I’m on 3,”
written across the front. He also had on a pair of red silk sweatpants and blue sneakers. On each of his thumbs there were matching glass rings with a blue fluid and a man swimming constantly around inside.
“Hello, Pre Ma, we are honored,” said Pavask warmly as he bowed to Peastro and then said,” I am Pavask and I will be your personal concierge. If you need it I can get it.”
“Glad to hear it, Pavask, my friends and I would like to try the Rungeon,” said Peastro as he levitated up to Pavask.
“Well you’re in luck there’s a new contest starting in 15 minutes. I can escort you there immediately,” said Pavask brightly then he turned and walked up to the front doors.
The doors opened automatically as Pavask got close and he walked through with everyone close behind. Their party included Peastro, Coup, Dramkick, Meafed, Culby, Yerpo Lle, and Nalista.
Inside there was a large opening that looked like the mouth of a Tibervian tiger. And behind it were 3 multi-colored tunnels that had Peastro’s favorite passages from the book of Yealik written on them in bright green ink like the Moments of Pause hymn that read,” We were only asking did asking make you coarse. If we had known the answers we only would have thanked you for the clarity. And now you’ve kissed us with an understanding love and we no longer ask if it was you. We only sing out melodies from a question never heard.”
The path of each was covered in a different colored rug with the first red, the second orange, and the third black. On the ceiling of each were silver and red robot birds that flew around in perfect synchronized patterns.
“O.K. then all’s you have to do is find the Rungeon before the other teams. Each of these leads to a different part of the maze and what you will find in each our clues to the whereabouts of the Rungeon.
Deceiver the clues and you will win. Do you have any questions?” asked Pavask brightly as he smiled.
“Yes, I have 2. How long does it usually take and are there refreshments inside?” asked Nalista as she hugged Dramkick.
“It takes usually an hour and yes there are several snack bars throughout the course. And when someone finds the Rungeon the entire course will light up and you’ll hear a very loud version of Sras Oblique My Dear Friend playing through the wall speakers. So…enjoy,” said Pavask then he stepped off to the side.
Down from the ceiling appeared a hologram of Momma Redcap with a smile and then she shouted,”
Go get me some Rungeon!”
“And we’re off,” said Dramkick as a wry smile came across his face.
“Which one should we choose?” asked Culby.
“Well…,” said Peastro.
“I know, I know,” said Yerpo Lle quickly as he tugged at Peastro’s shirt and smiled.
“O.K. which one?” asked Peastro as he smiled down at Yerpo Lle.
“The first one because people would always over think their choice and instantly skip over the first tunnel. So we shouldn’t think at all and just take it,” said Yerpo Lle as he smiled and then winked at Culby.
“He’s right, a wise man would take the first one and never look back,” said Meafed as he produced a pair of sunglasses from his pocket and then said, “Quite astute, Young Man, well done,” said Meafed then he tasseled Yerpo Lle’s hair.
Yerpo Lle ran into the first tunnel and shouted,” We must hurry if we want to win!”
Everyone smiled and followed him in. The tunnel dipped down slightly then rose up into a room in the shape of an octagon with a hologram of poet Ithink Tefolslm.
Ithink Tefolslm wrote the famous poem 80 More Seconds Builder and it included the passage,” I won’t count I couldn’t hear of it, but I am it because I chased it.” He was a striking man of 7’0” tall and 600 pounds of sculpted physique. He is famous for his poems, but infamous for the time he was caught sleeping in the woman’s lingerie section of a clothing store completely naked except for a curly blonde wig and a pearl necklace. He was the recent recipient of the Hones Medal which is given out twice a century to artists who defined their times with their work.
Ithink smiled at them as they walked in. There were 8 small tunnels and 2 doors one white and one blue around the walls of the room. The ceiling had a shaft that rose 50 feet with several small decks extending out into it.
“Well now we’ve got a few more options than before. And this fine gentleman is going to help us narrow out search I would wager,” said Coup as he winked at Yerpo Lle.
Then Ithink said boldly,” The tunnel of the Kaa’s first Emperor is to the right of the one you’ll want.
And your largest peak could be the door you need. So take your chances and succeed.”
“The first Kaa Emperor was who?” asked Culby as she looked at Peastro and then said slyly,” You should know this.”
“Well it would have been…,” said Peastro as he searched his memory.
“Second Quasair Braplot, the first Emperor of Sras Oblique and from what I recall a devious and knifing politician. So we know his name and I can deduce that Second, his first name would imply the second tunnel so let’s go,” said Coup smoothly then he made for the second tunnel.
“Maybe you should wait a second. Ithink said it was to the right of the one you want, so that would mean it was the first tunnel. But what about the doors maybe they’re better,” said Yerpo Lle implying a question as he grabbed Coup by the hand.
“I think you’re right, well excuse me then. He brings up a valid point the doors could be a shortcut.
The clue said the largest peak,” said Coup.
“Mt. Westrun is the largest peak which would be west or left so it would be this door,” said Peastro as he opened the blue door and saw a small ship that was shaped like an Japanese fishing hut. It had 10
leather seats and a pilot’s seat, as well as a fridge and a wine rack and a long tunnel in front of it. “This looks like a little more fun,” said Peastro happily.
“You aren’t mistaken on that. Let’s skip the tunnel and try our luck in this ship,” said Dramkick as he stretched out his right bicep and waved to Nalista.
“Yeah hooray be misit!” said Yerpo Lle enthusiastically in ancient Kaa speak.
Hooray be misit literally translated means leave the suckers behind.
Everyone laughed and then Nalista saw the wine and said,” This adventure was a good idea and getting better.”
Quickly she grabbed a bottle of Borco wine, opened it and started pouring glasses. Everyone sat down and Coup took the pilot’s seat and said sternly,” Since we have but one direction available I say we go straight.”
“Wise choice,” said Culby slyly and then she kissed Peastro and asked in a sultry voice,” How are we feeling , Handsome?”
“A lot better now, the stress has just completely faded away. And getting this time with you and Yerpo Lle was a Builder send. I hope we find the Rungeon, but I also hope it takes a while. I just want to relax and veg out a little,” said Peastro softly as he ran his finger across Culby’s lips.
“Well, you’ve certainly earned it with all you’ve been through in the last several months,” said Culby warmly then she embraced Peastro.
Yerpo Lle ran over to Peastro and grabbed onto his knees, hugging them and He said,” Its o.k., Dad, we’re here for you.”
The ship took off and floated through the black tunnel with only a pair of headlights showing the way. They soared past several paintings of Kaa children playing at school. They veered around a corner and came to a hangar bay where there was another ship like theirs already docked there. There was a green haired, red skinned Kaa who was 5’2”and 140 pounds and his daughter was half his size and had similar looks. She was wearing a white flower dress and had on a blue t-shirt and white dress pants as well as black dress shoes. The platform of the hangar bay has 3 door s with a small statue in front of each that was of famous actors. There was one of Va Bleem, another of Kept Tapencil, and a third of Darger Dopman-a Vindijan actor while the other 2 were Kaa. Above each of their doors there was a word for instance over Va’s it read Bloodberry, and over Kept’s Takenwoo, and Over Darger’s door it read Blasip.
The walls around the doors were seal black wood with small diamonds every few feet. The floor has a small round rug in front of each door that has each of the actor’s faces on them. The ceiling is 20 feet up and has a fake rainy sky being projected onto it.
“This looks inviting,” said Coup as he parked the ship.
Everyone got out and walked over to the 3 doors. As they got there another hologram appeared this time it was of Dashide Trun.
Dashide Trun was a famous joke writer and newscaster for channel 3,654. He had the famous tagline,” Tomorrow, together, forever.” And has brought Sras Oblique the news for 47 years passed. He is independently wealthy from an inheritance he got from his 4th wife upon her passing in a barroom brawl (where she beat 2 men to death in a drunken rage before she was shot by the police). He has sandy black hair with red highlights that is neat and proper and rarely moves a centimeter. He also has tan eyes and a nose that looks like a corndog. He always wore his trademark red silk ties, shirts, and pants and old Geasy (the black blazer his mother had sewn and given to him in celebration of getting his first job).
Dashide smiled a controlled smile and then said sternly,” In one of the film titles above these actor’s doors, the actor whose statue sits before it had his wife murdered and his son abducted in the film. That is the starting point for you to take 1door right then 2 left, then 2 more right and then you’ll have the short way home to the Rungeon. The other two will take you for a scenic view of you just lost the game. So choose wisely my Sweets because Tomorrow, together, forever.”
“Isn’t that great news we only have to remember some obscure movie and its vague plot twist isn’t that marvelous. Builder, I couldn’t be happier. Then once we remember it we have to remember Dashide’s directions which I’ve already forgotten,” said Peastro as he let out a sigh.
Culby laughed and then Yerpo Lle said quickly,” I remember, Daddy, its 1 door right then 2 left then 2 right and you’ll have the short way to Rungeon.”
Everyone looked at Yerpo Lle in amazement then Coup asked jokingly,” Are you a movie buff by chance?”
“I am, I know all 3 of these actor’s movies by heart. Give me 3 shakes and I’ll have the answer,” said Yerpo Lle proudly then he lifted his right hand with his index finger pointing upward and froze in his tracks.
They all stared at him in wonderment and waited for the answer.
“He looks very intense, I’ve never seen a boy like that before,” said Nalista then she adjusted her bra.
“In Bloodberry he had his wife murdered, but it was his friend Charwas that was abducted so that’s out. In Takenwoo his wife was also murdered, but I can’t remember if his son was abducted. Let me think of Blasip instead while I try to remember. O.K. in Blasip Danger’s wife was murdered and wait, I’ve got it! His son was taken in Takenwoo I knew it!” said Yerpo Lle triumphantly then a wild smile came across his face.
“The mind of a child should never be underestimated. Well done, Yerpo Lle,” said Dramkick smoothly.
“Alright, Takenwoo is in the center so 1 right would be Darger, then 2 left and 2 right would lead us back to Darger again. So it’s door number 3 and we’re off!” said Meafed as he walked up to the door and opened it. Inside there were 12 stalls with Moskins in each.
A Moskin is a 4 foot tall horse like creature, but has pink fur like a cat. It also has a large head with flaring nostrils that are large enough to see through to the back of its throat. It has 3 large purple oval eyes that move independently of one another. They release a pheromone as they sweat that causes the rider to feel euphoric. They have a grove in their backs that meant they required no saddle. They also have a back similar to a dog and are easily trained to follow a rider’s commands.
“Moskins, I love Moskins now we’re having fun huh, Yerpo Lle?” asked Culby warmly as she kissed Yerpo Lle on the forehead.
“Oh, Mum, I want my own one can I please?” asked Yerpo Lle quickly as he ran over to a Moskin.
“Fine, Yerpo Lle, but be careful and don’t ride too far ahead of the rest of us,” said Culby sternly as she smiled.
“I want my own too, Mommy, please?” pleaded Peastro in a little kid’s voice as he wrapped his arms around Culby and kissed her on the lips.
“Fine, but don’t ride too far ahead either,” said Culby with a wry smile.
Meafed got on his Moskin and said sternly,” If you buck me I’ll be eating you for breakfast got it.”
Then Meafed’s Moskin jumped up slightly startling him.
Everyone got on their Moskin and started down a leaf covered path. The walls of the tunnel have inlets every 30 feet with snack bars inside. Nalista pulled into one and grabbed 2 Catmebo burgers and a bottle of Crasihe.
The Catmebo is a small 3 legged bird that has dark blue feathers that glow at nighttime. It has a long neck like a giraffe that can retract so far that only its eyes are visible. It has a body like a bowling pin and is known for its poor flying. So much so that they aren’t hunted they simple walk through the forest and picked them up as many would smash head first into trees and rocks dying instantly. Their meat was so tender and delicious that it was referred to as the “Guiltiest Pleasure”.
Crasihe is an extremely potent energy drink that gets your natural adrenaline pumping causing you to feel vibrant and alive. It tastes like milk at first, but then as you stopped drinking the flavor switched to chocolate. It was created by a notorious drug manufacturer Dr. Peno Bullshe. Dr. Bullshe stumbled onto the concoction when he accidentally mixed a pair of flasks. Dr. Bullshe was also a star track and field star who owned world records in the 77and a third yard sprint and the 60 mile marathon.
“Here you go, Dramkick,” said Nalista as she rode up beside Dramkick and handed him a Catmebo.
“Thank you, Nalista, this will hold me over ‘til we find the Rungeon. We must be getting close at this point. I just hope we find it first,” said Dramkick as he grabbed the Catmebo and took a large bite.
“I would think so,” said Nalista then she took a large bite of her Catmebo.
The tunnel weaved into a large dining room with a pair of disassembled robots in the middle of the room. The 2 robots were on individual silver platforms and have the word Medevil on one and Paunlet on the other. The walls have several paintings of Peastro, but each of them are missing a 2 foot square from the lower right hand corner. The walls in between the painting are covered in blood red wallpaper. The floor is a spiraling black and red marble. There is also a pair of green U shaped couches on either side of the room. The ceiling is 40 feet high and there are multi colored lights shining down from them. There is also the song I Stole My Own Lunch by The Bad Rough Triangles playing in the background.
The Bad Rough Triangles are a Masam blues based rock and roll band fronted by Koraham-a dreamy strawberry blonde haired soprano singer. Koraham is also a well respected architect and has designed the Pos bridge which is over 10 miles in length.
As they rode in a hologram of Blazen Beito Pieater came out of the floor and waved to everyone and smiled. Blazen Beito Pieater was a brain surgeon and a world renowned prankster. She had blue hair that grew naturally in the shape of a pair of Dees face to face. She had gorgeous light red eyes and a nose that resembled a foot. She was 5’4” and had a perfectly proportioned figure that was voluptuous. She was wearing a dark blue t-shirt with her late husband Racetrack Renauld on it and the words,” We stole it,”
written beneath it in green letters. She also had on a pair of black spandex pants and matching blue sneakers, as well as a lace choker and her emerald green wedding ring. The prank she was most well known for was the Road Apple Breakfast where she took Hool nuggets and put them under the coffee cups of the Women of Age annual charity breakfast. When these women, who were mostly in their seventies flipped over their cups so that they could have their morning cup of Joe they got a little something extra staring them right in the eye, Hool nuggets. 2 of the women nearly dropped dead on the spot while seven others fainted and fell face first onto the Hool nuggets and nearly choked.
“You’ve come this far, but the journey is not yet complete. The 2 robots you see in front of you hold the key to finding the Rungeon. Assemble 1 robot, and only 1, and if it is the right one he will aid you in
the search for the Rungeon. But, if you are incorrect in assembling the right robot he will lead down the wrong path. You only have the one word clues at the base of each platform to guide you so put on your thinking umbrellas and get to the business of success. I’ll leave you with my favorite saying, If I were your mother I’d slap you twice as hard ‘cause love don’t come in a can goodbye Everybody.”
The hologram disappeared and everyone walked over to the platforms.
Peastro said,” Medevil and Paunlet well it vaguely rings a bell, but I can’t remember from where.”
“Well thankfully there’s a learned man here today to guide you through this awkward moment,” said Coup slyly as he walked up beside Peastro.
“Is that right, you’ve read have you,” said Peastro brightly as he looked over at Coup.
“More than a food label, yes. Now, Medevil was a heroin in the novel Pieces Begun who saved her sister from an assassin’s bullet by jumping in front of her. Paunlet on the other hand was a murderer in the novel Pace in End, who took the life of a child by throwing him off a cliff,” said Coup proudly then he motioned like he was washing his hands.
“So what does that have to do with robots?” asked Nalista as she ran her hands through her hair.
“I have no idea,” said Coup smoothly as he walked over and sat on one of the couches.
“I do, Rungeon is from the ancient Kaa language translated literally it means saved life…” said Peastro smoothly.
“As in Medevil saving her sister from the assassin’s bullet,” said Yerpo Lle quickly.
“Exactly, so let’s hurry and get the Medevil robot put together. Who knows how to construct one of these models?” asked Peastro plainly as he looked around the room.
“I am your man, give me 10 minutes and I’ll have it,” said Meafed as he stepped forward and grabbed Peastro shoulder as he walked by and squeezed it.
Yerpo Lle walked over next to him and asked,” Can I help?”
“Yes, you certainly can hand me the torso,” said Meafed with a wink.
Peastro, Culby, and Coup sat on one couch while Nalista and Dramkick sat on the other across from them. All this while Meafed and Yerpo Lle worked diligently to construct the robot.
“You know this robot could open some door when he’s constructed and we could find the Rungeon right here, right in this room how exciting,” said Coup as he rubbed his hands together and chuckled.
“It’s probably right in this room it could be right inside this couch for all we know,” said Peastro then he tried to remove the cushion unsuccessfully.
“That’s true, but something tells me there is more to this game. And, there’s still the other teams, we don’t know how far they are along,” said Culby as she rubbed her stomach.
“They can’t be too far ahead of us, if any, just because of how fast we solved everything,” said Peastro then he pulled out a Tut cigarette from his pants pocket and rubbed the self lighting tip.
Meafed attached the head of the robot and shouted,” We’ve got it!”
The robot-which was dark blue and resembled Peastro-jumped into the air and did a 360 degree spin then it landed and said sternly,” Press the red button on my stomach and you will get the next clue.”
“O.k. let’s try it, go ahead, Yerpo Lle,” said Meafed.
Then everyone hurried over and Yerpo Lle pushed the red button causing a door to open up in the robot’s stomach and a lime green light came out of the compartment. Yerpo Lle reached inside and pulled out a square from the corner of one of the paintings with a foot painted on it.
“Now what?” asked Meafed nonchalantly.
“It’s from one of the paintings, look they’re all missing a piece we just have to put it on the right one,” said Culby excitedly as she gently grabbed the square from Yerpo Lle and looked at it then said triumphantly,” it’s that one over there it needs this foot.”
Culby walked quickly over to the painting above the couch Dramkick and Nalista had been sitting on and stood up on the cushions and pushed the piece into place. Then the painting slid sideways into the wall and the wall beneath it collapsed inward revealing a small staircase that led up to a secret passageway behind where the painting had been. It was only 10 feet tall and 7 feet wide and dimly lit with an orange light. The floor was covered in shredded different color socks and there was a bright light at the far end.
“This is it, I know it we’ve found the Rungeon. Let’s hurry and claim our prize,” said Culby excitedly then she climbed the stairs with everyone else close behind and she ran down the passageway shouting,” We Win, We Win!”
She got to the end and saw a small room with a pit that was filled with rubber balls. At the far end was a set of stairs that led to a pair of hallways. The walls of the room are covered in thick black glass and have 2 foot wide holographic TV monitors every 4 feet. The ceiling has several small robotic planes flying in circles and doing aerial maneuvers. The room smells of the Foame root.
Culby jumped into the rubber balls and they went up to her chest and she said,” Whoa a little deeper than I thought.”
Peastro ran and jumped in after her and yelled,” Baranabo!”
Baranabo is a popular saying among the Kaa that means you’re gonna die sometime. It came from Lard Dopit Baranabo who was a notorious daredevil. He had done several death defying feats like jumping from the roof of Foiv Castle into a 2 foot wide and 6 foot deep tube of water while blindfolded.
He was also a bestselling author with his series of humorous books about underwear thieves titled The Unmentionables. He has a twin brother who is an accomplished martial arts champion named Himet.
They followed suit and jumped in. They all waded across the room towards the stairs at the far end.
Then all of the sudden the room went black and 3 large metal doors sealed off all of the exits. Then the face of Boltion Steadie appeared on the TV monitors.
Boltion Steadie is a notorious criminal mastermind who was involved in several high profile gold and diamond thefts. He had only been apprehended and tried successfully once. From which he served 3
years in Arenporth Prison. In the past 5 years since his release he had become a changed man and become active in charity work. He is well known for the Lopic Diamond Heist where he stole a half pound red diamond that was cut in the shape of a sword. He stole the Lopic in broad daylight from the Musemy Museum wearing a prosthetic nose, chin, and forehead as well as a wig. They never found the Lopic or could prove that it was him that stole it, but several years later he sold a quarter pound red diamond which many believed was a piece of the Lopic-for an enormous fortune. He said he found it while digging in his backyard, but few believed him.
Boltion said snidely,” Oh my Darlings, you have come far but not far enough. The Rungeon is within your grasp, but you must solve the riddle of the room. Your means to leaving this room are close as a blind man’s cane, but I won’t tell you where. So…you could be here a long time, My Darlings, but I am leaving now ha, ha, heee, he,” said Boltion snidely as he turned red.
“Shouldn’t he be in prison?” wondered Meafed as he fought to get out of the pit. “They need better people to work the Rungeon. That’s just a thought don’t pay me any mind,” said Meafed sadly as he grabbed one of the rubber battleships and threw it at the wall where it popped on impact.
“Great we’re trapped and not just a little trapped we either find the way out or we have to wait here
‘til we lose the Rungeon,” said Coup as he fell back into the rubber balls.
Dramkick took a look around and then started popping the rubber balls 2 at a time and Peastro asked,” What are you doing?”
“Well, an educated man can always rationalize a situation. All’s I see in this room are these rubber battleships so I have deduced that the key to help us escape is probably in one of them. So I am going to pop every one as I have too because I am hungry, I am thirsty, and I want to win the Rungeon badly,” said Dramkick as he pooped ball after ball.
“You’ve got a good idea, alright let’s pop them all,” said Peastro then he started popping the rubber battleships as everyone else smiled and happily and joined in doing the same.
After a few minutes they had popped nearly half and had no luck. Yerpo Lle said,” We should try the ones on the bottom because they would try to be sneaky I think.”
“He’s right let’s dive down,” said Nalista then she got down to the bottom and everyone else followed suit.
They popped every ball in sight and Coup popped one and it had a 12 inch black metal stick with a pair of large round buttons on the top-with one purple and one tan. Coup shouted,” We’ve got an exit!”
Everyone stood straight up as did Coup and Coup danced around waving the stick above his head.
“O.k. time’s a wasting push a button, Coup, said Dramkick happily as he laughed at Coup’s dancing.
“Good point and so I shall,” said Coup as he pushed the purple button and all Terious broke loose.
The doors blew up and the song Sras Oblique My Dear Friend started to play. The entire room became filled with flashing lights and the floor they were standing on began to rise up. While an opening in the ceiling appeared and they were lifted right up through it, with all of the rubber balls falling off the sides.
Meafed said,” Now this is a good time.”
“You better believe it this is amazing!” said Peastro wide eyed as he kicked the last rubber ball off the side.
They were lifted into the giant cavern with hundreds of black tables with people sitting at them having dinner. The people cheered loudly as they came into the room. There is also a single white table on a platform high above the rest with 12 chairs and 3 bottles of chilled Borco wine as well as some dinner rolls and pats of butter on them. The walls of the room are covered with paintings of all the previous winners of the Rungeon, as well as a continuous deck that is outside each person’s hotel room and has people standing on them. Each of the people cheered loudly. The ceiling gently sloped upward to a small round hole where the T sun peaked in. There were also 2 statues-in between the tables-of Peastro, Culby, and Yerpo Lle on their thrones.
“This is seriously fun,” said Culby as she kissed Yerpo Lle on the cheek and then kissed Peastro on the lips.
“Way beyond fun, Culby, we’ll have to do this again sometime,” said Peastro warmly as he took it all in.
“Daddy, where is the Rungeon?” asked Yerpo Lle softly.
“I don’t know, but I’m sure we’ll find it quick,” said Peastro as he looked around the room.
They rose all the way up to the platform where the white table was and stepped onto it taking their seats at the table. Dramkick said sternly,” We had better see the Rungeon and quick or I’m going to start being a disturbance.”
“It’s o.k., Dramkick, it must be coming,” said Nalista warmly then she kissed Dramkick on the lips.
Yerpo Lle ducked his head under the table and saw that the center of the table had a 4 foot wide round box attached to it. He looked at Culby, smiled and said,” I know where the Rungeon is.”
“There’s a brown box underneath the center of the table and I think it’s in it and they’re going to press a button and it will pop up,” said Yerpo Lle brightly as he smiled.
“Well I’m not gonna wait for their decree,” said Dramkick as he went beneath the table.
They heard a loud crack and then Dramkick shouted,” I’ve got the Rungeon!”
He came out from beneath the table with a wide smile and the Rungeon in his hands. Then he handed it to Peastro and Culby said,” Wow, it’s really beautiful, isn’t that something special. Well worth the wait.”
The Rungeon was glowing red and then blue and it has a pulsating green statue of a woman. It also has a Poudeep (which is a white algae). It also has 12 Switchfact men running around the inside pummeling each other.
The Switchfact are tiny yellow men with even smaller brains who could only attack constantly because that was the only thought their brains could process. They have long noses with large red balls at the tip. They also have orange egg shaped eyes that dart from side to side. Their hair is dark yellow like their skin. They have large hands and feet in proportion to their bodies that look like they are wearing gloves.
“This is a trophy worth giving the ultimate try,” said Coup as Peastro handed him the Rungeon.
Dramkick looked at it and said,” This was a fine day, one for remembrance.”
Everyone smiled and nodded yes.
The Krakvrem Plague Envelopes All
After winning the Rungeon everyone settled in nicely into the top 2 floors of the mountain. Culby, Nalista, Dramkick, and Peastro were in the second of 2 dining rooms being cooked dinner for by Momma Redcap herself.
The room is 30 feet long, and has 15 foot ceilings as well as being 20 feet wide. It has a 20 foot long white T shaped table that has 24 slots with leather chairs and place settings. The walls have 32
Mortakame sand paintings on it, each being 3 feet wide and tall. The paintings are made by different colored pressurized and glued sand that shows different moments of the ordinary Kaa’s lives. For instance one was of a Kaa mother and her son carrying vegetables back from the outdoor market in a tan burlap sack. The creator of the paintings was an elderly Kaa called Mortakame Jems.
Mortakame Jems was a rare light blue skinned Kaa with dark red hair that was braided into what looked almost like pipes. He had kind eyes with one green and one light blue. His nose looked like half of a baseball was lying on his face. His mouth was very wide and had one half turned up lip and the other down. His hands were different sizes with one much thicker and the fingers longer than the other hand.
He was 5’3” and was slightly round around his waist and through to his back. He always wore his paint and sand covered dark green Mumu and white sandals. Mortakame began making his sand paintings after the birth of his eldest son Plamy so that he could have something to calm his nerves as he worried about his young son constantly. His paintings gave him solace and later as he perfected his craft it created a new source of income. After a while he was making more from his paintings than his job as an attorney so he quit and never looked back.
“Wait ‘til you try my almond and honey glazed Hool steaks. You will salivate for a good hour after eating them. And my Builder wait ‘til you try my miniature Blabule pie you will never feel so satisfied.
Forget sex this is the real thing,” said Momma Redcap proudly as she smiled at everyone.
The Blabule is a berry similar to a strawberry and an apple covered in honey. It is bright yellow and about the size of pear and is filled with 7 layers of delicious.
“I can’t wait, Momma Redcap, I’ve heard you’re an extraordinary chef,” said Peastro warmly.
“You are too kind and I thank you, but you’ll taste my thanks when you get a spoonful of my Laripu soup. It is soo creamy. You tongue will disappear in this soup,” said Momma Redcap quickly then she ducked back into the kitchen.
Peastro glanced at Culby, smiled and then he saw the ceiling in the next room get crushed by an enormous black cylinder. It crushed half of the mountain and shot itself a hundred feet into the ground, with a half mile of it sticking straight up in the air. It had hundreds of tinted eye shaped windows and a crest of a K with a sword piercing it and a helmet behind it that had 2 square eye sockets and a slanted mouthpiece.
Peastro ran over to it and took a look and said to himself,” You’re trouble aren’t cha.” Then he walked around the side of it and could see outside. There were thousands of the same black cylinders stuck into Sras Oblique for as far as he could see. Peastro said to himself,” But they’re more,” and then he shouted to Culby,” Don’t come over here it’s bad! Go find Yerpo Lle and get to safety at the command center!”
“O.K. stay safe, Peastro,” said Culby as she put her hand to her mouth and teared up. She knew by the tone of his voice it was deadly serious and he had never yelled at her before and it terrified her. She hurried out of the room and ran into Yerpo Lle and said sternly as she fought back tears,” We can’t stay here, Yerpo Lle, it’s not safe here please hurry with me!”
“Why are you crying, Mum, what happened?” asked Yerpo Lle.
“We’re under attack, Yerpo Lle, and I need you to be brave and go with your mother o.k.,” said Peastro sternly as he stood beside Culby, kissed her on the forehead and said,” I’m sorry I shouted please forgive me.”
“It’s alright it scared me a little. Ah what are you going to do?” asked Culby as she gathered herself up.
“I put in a call to the nearest Venebon. I can’t worry about your safety and fight this war.
So…actually I need you with me, we’re all going to get on the Venebon. I don’t think I could function worrying about where you were. And again I’m sorry I yelled at you it won’t happen again I love you, Culby,” said Peastro then he kissed and embraced Culby and Yerpo Lle and said,” I love you too, Yerpo Lle.”
“I love you too, Peastro. Where are they picking us up?” asked Culby as she looked at Peastro.
“It will have to be right here, the elevator is destroyed,” said Peastro as he looked at the black cylinder and then asked,” What are you and why are you here?”
THE END
Other Titles by John T. Buckley
Standalone
CHUM
THE FLOATING MAN
SHORT STORIES FOR THE LONG HAUL
THRASHING ALE WITH DEN SIDION.
MAGIC EVERYTHING
DEAR CAMY, THE LOST LETTERS
The Medallion of Believe Series
SAYCHA AND THE UNDERWORLD OF DRAYNE SECTIS
THE YELLOW PLAGUE
PABSTRUM’S RECKONING
Quadromolan Series
THE CONQUERED
THE VINDIJAN LINE
EPOSICAL
Contact John T. Buckley
Website www.johntbuckley.com
Email johntbuckley@yahoo.com I answer all emails so feel free to drop me a line
About John
John grew up in Presque Isle Maine one of 8 kids. He dreamt of basketball glory through much of his youth. He also loved video games-and reading of course. He attended Vermont Technical College as well as the University of Southern Maine. He now lives in Portland Maine and continues writing every day.
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