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Chapter 2
“Well, let me tell you, I‘m going to fail miserably because I can‘t fake anything. I absolutely cannot. I am as real and hard-core as women come.”
“That‘s what you need to pass the test of your talent in the arts, to make it as real as it could possibly be; to make it seem like it‘s really happening.”
Scratching her head, she said, “Oh, silly me, I had no clue.”
“When it comes to life, my dear, you have so much to learn, and what you have to learn, it doesn‘t have anything to do with sex. You will only learn how to make love and how to just have sex if you want to.”
“I do want to, just not right now. I‘ve been ready to become sexually active for a long, long time. It‘s just that I don‘t feel ready to engage in any kind of sexual activity when I have the opportunity to do it. I don‘t know, maybe the Lord is somehow protecting me from the sexual realm of the deadly sin of lust.”
“Oh, He‘s definitely trying to protect you, and so far, He couldn‘t have succeeded more greatly.”
“Praise the Lord,” she simply responded.
“OK, so here‘s what we‘re going to do,” he whispered in her ear. “I‘m going to sound the car horn and he‘s going to come out to see me. He loves me very much by the way. He does have a disease, a disease that will never even want to make you cheat on me with him if you suddenly transformed into a carnal Christian.”
“You got that right; I am a very passionately spiritual Christian. I am perfect much more accidentally than I would be on purpose.”
“That‘s amazing. OK, so I‘m going to tell you what disease it is that he has as soon as he starts making his moves on you.”
“Is his disease contagious?”
“Only if you French kiss him and he has an open sore or if you have any contact whatsoever with his genitalia.”
“Oh, my God, he‘s got syphilis?”
“I‘ll tell you when he comes out of his shell. By the way, those symptoms are not only symptoms of syphilis, but they‘re also symptoms of many other sexually-transmitted diseases.”
“Oh…”
“OK, so here we go. I‘m going to take my phone in my hand, activate the video camera, and start recording.”
“You‘re going to pretend that you‘re trying to call someone and you can‘t reach him or her while him and me converse and record everything incognito.”
“…Exactly.”
“OK,” she said. “Let‘s do it.” She rubbed her beautiful and delicate hands together. “This is so exciting.”
Kay and Rob executed their plan. Rob sounded the car horn right on the center of his steering wheel. After a few honks, his neighbor, Heber, he responded. Heber came out of his house with a towel wrapped around his waist.
“Oh, my God,” Kay whispered in Rob‘s ear, “I haven‘t been formally introduced yet and I feel like he‘s seducing me already.”