Paul and Alexi arrived at Gabriella’s apartment at 6:30 PM on Wednesday. Gabriella buzzed them into the building when they rang her lobby doorbell.
“Hi,” her voice said through the intercom with enthusiasm, “you’re exactly on time. I’m so glad you could both make it. Walk straight across the lobby and into the elevator. I’ll meet you in the hallway when you get off.”
Paul wore his best blue jeans, cowboy boots, a black turtleneck shirt, and a gunmetal blue sports jacket. “I don’t want to seem overdressed, but Gabriella has a clear sense of style, so I want to look good for her,” he told Alexi.
“Sure. Okay, dad,” came the absent-minded reply as Alexi continued to play games on her smartphone.
There were other reasons he wanted to look good for her, but he refused to let his mind wander in any other direction. Alexi put on a clean pair of jeans, sneakers, and a little girl’s version of a red and black checked flannel shirt sporting a few strands of bright gold thread for bling. They both looked into the full-length mirror by the door before leaving and agreed they look great together.
They caught a cab for the short ride, tipped the cabbie, and entered the building.
Paul whistled as he entered the lobby. “Wow, Alexi, this sure looks a lot different than the rectory. I wonder what it costs to live in a place like this?” Alexi was smiling and looked around at the gleaming marble floor and the gold-colored sconces on the wall. “Gee, it sure is big, and pretty and all shiny, dad!”
“It certainly is, honey,” answered her dad, “it sure is.”
The elevator carried them up to the forty-third floor and gave a friendly, cheerful tone as the door silently slid open into the hallway. “My ears popped on the way up. How the heck high are we, anyhow?” he jokingly asked Alexi.
“My ears didn’t pop, dad. Maybe, it’s something that happens to older people.”
Paul winced. Thanks, Alexi. I wasn’t intimidated enough coming into this building to have dinner with a beautiful lady in her apartment. I needed a shot to my self-confidence to finish the job.
Gabriella opened the door of her apartment, stepped into the hallway, and beckoned them forward. Her back was to the full-length glass wall at the end of the corridor. The light streaming in backlighted her. Her hair glowed in the sunlight.
Paul stared at her in her form-fitting blue jeans, cream-colored angora sweater, and golden curls. Her green eyes caught the sunlight reflecting from the walls and sconces. They flashed an even brighter green. Gabriella waved them over with a bright smile and gave warm hugs to both of them. He caught traces of her perfume and thought how perfectly it rounded out the angelic effect.
“Paul, Alexi, you both look great. I’ve never seen you wear boots before, is this something new for you?”
“No, I’ve been wearing cowboy boots most of my life. I grew up in farm country in the Midwest, but there’s not a great call for cowboy boots when you are pastoring a New York City church. Most of the people in my congregation have a fixed idea of what a pastor should look like and how they should dress. Some people left the church when I first showed up because they thought I was too young to be a pastor. The rest would have freaked if I wore my boots on the pulpit. I guess in their eyes, ministers should have white hair, wrinkles, and wear black orthopedic shoes.”
“Well, it’s certainly not you, Paul. I want to hear more about your life, though,” replied Gabriella, slipping her arm around Paul’s and leading him into the apartment.
Alexi ran over to the outside wall, gleefully shouting. “Look, Dad, it’s all glass, it’s all glass. There aren’t any walls! I can see forever!” She threw her arms into the air to illustrate the size of the view.
“Hush down a little Alexi, let’s not get our engines all revved up. Let’s not be rude guests.”
Gabriella smiled and squeezed his arm with hers, “Oh no. Don’t say that, Paul. You’re not guests, you’re friends. Besides, she’s only a little girl and excited. There’s nothing in here she can hurt, so let her run around and have fun exploring.”
“If you’re sure it’s okay. Everything looks so elegant, and I’m not sure what she can easily damage and what’s damage proof. I guess I’m used to our old rectory, where the word ‘wreck’ is in the word for a reason. Nothing more can be done to wreck anything in the rectory.”
“It smells great! What’s for dinner?” asked Alexi. Gabriella did a low squat to get down to Alexi’s eye level.
“I remember when we were talking one day, and you said you like lasagna, so I made homemade lasagna. I even made the noodles. Now I have to warn you, this is my very first attempt at it, so if you tell me it tastes a lot like dog food, my feelings will be very, very hurt. You aren’t going to hurt my feelings, now, are you?”
Alexi laughed. “I would never hurt your feelings, Gabriella. Besides,” she added, “I’m sure it’s better than Dad’s cooking, especially when we can’t eat it and have to order out for pizza. Anyhow, I don’t know what dog food tastes like.”
With a laugh, Gabriella leaned over and kissed Alexi on the forehead.
“So you made the lasagna from scratch, huh? I’m impressed. I haven’t seen anyone make lasagna at home from scratch, since, well, since my grandmother used to do it way back when. She was from Sicily. No such thing as a supermarket in the old highlands!”
“Yes, I thought it would be fun, so I ran out to one of the little Italian import shops that carry pasta presses. It was a lot of fun and very quick to make. I hope the flavor is equal to the fun of making it.”
Paul’s face kept on smiling without asking for permission from him to do so. This lady is so easy to get along with and can cook, or least isn’t afraid to give it a shot. She’s sure fantastic.
“Paul, let me give you a tour of my apartment while dinner is finishing up.”
Alexi said the kitchen was amazing. “Wow, dad, the sink has no chips, all the handles are on the drawers, and the refrigerator and dishwasher close tight.”
An embarrassed Paul answered, “Okay, Alexi, we’ll have no more of that! Be good now, and take it easy on our rectory. It’s stood there for over 100 years. We can only hope to have only a few minor chips and stains in our porcelain when we get to be 100 years old.”
Gabriella led the two of them to her bedroom and sat down on the edge of her bed. She patted the mattress to her right, beckoning Paul to take a seat for a moment. Paul blushed slightly and muttered in a husky voice, “Beautiful, beautiful bedroom. Do you have any other rooms, Gabriella?” She gave him a small grin and rose to continue the tour.
“Paul, do you need a drink or something? It sounds like something is caught in your throat.”
“Ah, no. No, I don’t. Simply a little catch or something,” he said unconvincingly.
Gabriella noted his behavior and smiled as she looked into his eyes. Paul’s cheeks reddened.
The bathroom almost made Paul’s head swim. Alexi ran into it and said, “This is the coolest bathroom on the planet! The wall is a mirror, and it has two shower heads and a big bench. It’s so big I could dance in there!” Paul looked at it in wonderment and without a word being said, felt more color rise to his cheeks.
Gabriella noticed his color change and understood.
Paul stared at the shower. Pastor or not, I’m still a man, and this is almost too much for my brain to take in. I can practically see Gabriella and … NO… NO! More color layered itself onto his cheeks.
“This is an interesting bathroom, don’t you think, Paul?” Gabriella said innocently.
Paul was silent for a moment. Is that a little inviting sound in her voice, or do I hear what I want to hear? Either way, it could be a problem. Did she invite me to something? An awkward silence rang out for a moment or two. Paul regained control and asked, “So how’s the dinner coming along? Alexi and I can’t wait to try your cooking.” They headed back to the dining room.
“Paul, you can sit at the head of the table. Alexi and I will sit on either side of you. You can be the head of the house.”
“No problem, Gabriella, but it means you have to let me say the blessing over the food, okay?”
“No problem,” mimicked Gabriella.
Paul reached out to hold hands with Alexi and Gabriella. He looked up and took a breath. “Father God, we thank you for all your blessings and all you’ve given us. We thank you for health and for strength and for our minds. Father, thank you for letting us get together with Gabriella for this fine meal, and we ask you to heap blessings upon her, upon this apartment, and upon her job. We thank you for this wonderful feast that her hands have prepared. We ask you to bless those hands and to bless this food to us in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
“Paul, that was beautiful. I’m touched by the genuineness and gentleness of your prayer. It wasn’t recited rote. It sounds like you actually know God and are talking to him.”
Paul reached over again and lightly touched the back of Gabriella’s hand. “That’s exactly how it is.”
Dinner was as delicious as Paul hoped. “Gabriella, I was prepared to say the meal was excellent no matter its actual condition, but I’m relieved I could tell the absolute truth about it without compromise.”
“So, you did think it would taste like dog food!” Gabriella laughed.
“No. No! That’s not what I meant to say. I mean, it was better than expected. Ah, nuts! I did it again, didn’t I? I had better shut up and quit while I’m ahead.”
Gabriella pursed her lips together and nodded in agreement. Her eyes sparkled. “You’re not ahead, Paul.”
“Sigh, I lost. So where did you get the recipe, Gabriella? This is very, very good, and I eat in enough Italian restaurants to know the difference between good and also-ran.”
“Oh, I looked up a few recipes online and then merged a few of them so it sounded like it would taste good in my head. Do you like it?”
“I like everything about it,” Paul replied. “Everything is perfect.”
After dinner, Paul insisted on helping to clean up. “Paul, it’s not necessary. There are only a couple of dishes, and I can get them later. It’s no problem,” Gabriella insisted.
“I won’t hear of it. My folks raised me to believe men should be active in the kitchen, too, Gabriella. They taught me real men jump in and do what needs to be done without worrying about gender roles. Besides, it keeps us side-by-side longer.” She smiled and leaned her shoulder against his.
Paul and Gabriella sat on her couch, talking after the kitchen was clean. The fifty-five-inch ultrahigh-definition TV mesmerized Alexi. She watched a cartoon action hero movie, occasionally giving a squeal of delight as she rocked and swayed with the action. Alexi enjoyed watching the TV, and Paul loved watching Alexi. Gabriella looked at the two of them and felt a touch of longing.
“You two are so happy together, so complete. You enjoy your father-daughter relationship and are so free to express your love for each other. I come home to an empty apartment after a day’s work. I’m never bored, mind you, but I feel something is missing from my life. Martha told me it was a sense of belonging, but I never understood. I think I’m finally beginning to catch on to what she was saying to me.”
“You must have felt belonging while growing up and being with your family and friends. It sounds strange to hear you say something like that.”
“There was nothing normal about my childhood and growing up. You could say I missed them entirely. We may talk about it someday, but not today, okay? But sometimes, like now, I can feel what I’ve missed. You and Alexi seem to have something special in your relationship. Are you always as free and easy together as I’m seeing you tonight?”
“Absolutely, what you see is what you get. You can’t fake feelings forever, so it’s best to tell it like it is and be real with each other. Hypocrite! I’m faking that I don’t want to take you in my arms right now! “I can’t say it’s always the easiest thing in the world to do because I have to be Alexi’s friend, her father, and her mother, all rolled into one. It gets kind of complicated, but with the Lord’s help, I’ve been able to pull it off so far. I fear when she gets closer to her teen years, it will be a little bit tougher for me to advise her on girl things, but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it.”
“You’ll burn the bridge when you get to it? I don’t understand what it means.” Gabriella cocked her head to the right in confusion. “I thought burning a bridge was a bad thing. How would you cross it?”
“It’s one of my fun ways to misuse the English language for a little bit of humor, but you’ve asked for the meaning of several common phrases in the past that everyone knows. How is it you don’t know what this one means?”
“Paul, have you noticed there is a slight inflection in my voice? I didn’t grow up in America. I was born here but didn’t grow up here. There are some common things I am not familiar with. I hope you’ll forgive me for constantly asking for explanations.”
“No problem at all, Gabriella. I shouldn’t have asked. Where did you grow up?”
“I’m afraid I am not allowed to talk much about myself. AI Concepts and their government contracts forbid me to say much. I’m sorry, Paul. I hope it doesn’t put you off.”
“Not in the least. A dark background makes you even more fascinating,” Paul said, leaning closer to her.
“Anyhow, Gabriella, the real phrase is about not worrying too far into the future, but focusing on the challenges you may have in front of you today. The real phrase is something like ‘we will cross that bridge when we get to it.’”
“So what does it have to do with you raising Alexi, Paul?”
“Well, it’s exactly what I’ll have to do because there is no way of knowing what advice she will need far down the road, so I’m not going to worry about it for a while. Today, I have this bubbly little girl to love and guide, and I’ll enjoy her thoroughly just as she is.”
“Paul, I’m enjoying having you and Alexi here. I’m wondering if we could make a future dinner an overnight stay. I would love to have both you and Alexi as my guests.”
Paul sat in silence for several seconds. Unless I’m totally misreading the signals, one of the most beautiful and enticing women I have ever met asked my daughter and me to spend the night with her sometime. How am I going to answer this one? How do I fight myself when I want to accept her invitation?
Paul grabbed the throw pillow on the couch next to him and placed it on his lap for comfort and security, but tried to make it look as if he needed a resting place for his hands.
“It’s a complicated question, Gabriella, on a whole variety of levels. I’m the pastor of a nondenominational church and not only need to talk the talk, but I need to walk the walk.”
“Talk the talk and walk the walk? I’m confused again. Please explain.”
“Well, in my sermons, I talk about virtue, truth, the love of God, and how people can follow God’s guidelines for lives. I not only need to speak about it, but I need to demonstrate it for everyone to see every day of my life. I need to be an example for those people who come to me for guidance.”
“So, how would they know?”
“They wouldn’t know, Gabriella, but it’s not the point. I need to become an example for my daughter of how a virtuous man lives his life. When she gets older, how is she going to know what qualities or standards to look for in a man unless I showed it consistently for her?”
“But she can see you are a good man.”
“Yes, she can, but I’m afraid it would be confusing to Alexi to have memories of her father talking one way, but acting another when it was convenient. I would never want to add confusion to her life beyond what everyday living will already dish out.”
Paul’s eyes kept trying to follow the soft outline of Gabriella’s body as she sat next to him. He tried to force himself to stare directly into her eyes, but his peripheral vision mocked his efforts and said impishly that it could still see the roundness of her breasts. He was hoping his eyeballs were not jumping back and forth between her eyes and her chest.
Gabriella took a moment to structure her reply. “What I’m hearing is you can’t have sex with someone because it would be a bad example for your daughter and for your congregation. Is that correct?”
Paul held his hand to his mouth as he coughed in surprise. “That’s correct.”
“Okay, got it. But didn’t you say God is the one who created sex in the first place? If He created sex, why wouldn’t it be a good thing to enjoy for all of His creation? I enjoy it.”
Paul winced at the thought of Gabriella enjoying sex with other men. He realized he was jealous.
He responded slowly. “Yes, Gabriella, God invented sex. It was meant to be used within the union of marriage.”
“I see that Paul, but people are having sex all the time all over the place, and it feels great. Why do you think God would design such a wonderful thing and then say we can only use it in marriage? I don’t get it. Wouldn’t He want everybody to enjoy His inventions, especially such a great one?”
Paul sighed. “I usually looked forward to your very focused and probing questions, and enjoy the fact you want to hear frank and straightforward answers, but I’m uncomfortable with it while Alexi is in the same room. The TV is turned up fairly loud, but I’m never sure what those little ears overhear and what her brain is filing away for later reference. I have to be careful about what I say.
You don’t make it easy on me, Gabriella. Let me see if I can lay this out so it makes sense. God is the one who originated marriage when he created Adam and Eve. He told them to thoroughly enjoy themselves with each other, to procreate, and to fill the world. Now, whether or not you personally believe the story in no way changes the fact it happened that way.”
Gabriella countered, “Well, animals have also filled the world, and they don’t seem to have any restrictions on their behavior.”
“True, but they mostly run on seasonal hormonal cycles. They have sex and then basically forget about it until the next cycle rolls around. Obviously, people don’t forget about it.” He paused for a moment and added, “Thankfully, God made us special. He allows people to have a desire for each other whenever they want. People are the only ones who can have sex to deepen their love for each other through intimacy. How are we doing so far, okay?”
“Okay, so far, I guess, and I can see how deepening love for each other helps a marriage in the raising of a family and children, but I don’t see how limiting sex to only married couples makes a lot of sense in the overall scheme of things. Keep explaining.”
Another toughie. She’s killing me!
“Good, let’s see if I can bring this a step further. In John’s Gospel, Jesus tells of the unimaginably close relationship God has with us, but he’s telling it from God’s viewpoint, not ours. Jesus says we are in the Father, and the Father is in Him, and we are in them both, like one fantastic stew. We can’t even imagine the intensity and intimacy of such an arrangement in our mortal lives, so He provides the faintest shadow image of it through sex in marriage so we can at least partially understand what He feels for us.”
“And so what does this have to do with sleeping together?” Gabriella asked quizzically.
Should I be doing this right now? We should be laughing and having a good time, not getting into a mood wrecking discussion on premarital sex! He forged on nervously. God, I don’t want to tank this night.
His eyes started drifting down to Gabriella’s chest again. He snapped them back up to her face.
“While making love, words fail, and the two beings melt into each other and can no longer tell where one body stops, and the other body begins. And that’s only a pale shadow of what God feels for us.”
“Wow,” Gabriella gasped. “You said it like I’ve never heard before. Such a conviction. Such passion. Such faith. It makes me envious. It makes me wish I could understand it more.”
“Gabriella, to shift gears a little for my benefit, would it be okay if we talk sports or something else for a little while? Can we pick this up at a later date?” Paul said with a smile, thinking of the security pillow still held tightly on his lap. “I think our conversation emotionally wore me out.”
“Hey, how about them Mets?” Gabriella said. Paul laughed out loud.
It’s going to be okay. I didn’t blow it! This is a great night. I love how we can shift topics and have fun with each other.
Alexi continued laughing and squealing at the TV until it was time to catch a cab for home. Gabriella’s perfume left a faint memory of itself on Paul’s shoulder as they enjoyed a lingering hug goodnight. Paul’s mind drifted through the scented meadow for the entire trip home. Alexi curled up under his arms and fell asleep listening to city noises as the cabby drove them to the rectory.
Gabriella sat quietly on the couch. She wondered again if other women could be so attracted to two vastly different men.