Chapter 9
Jon approached the gym to find the line was dispersing and the group at the front was confronting the guard, and he was explaining, “I can only let one more person in, then we’re closed for lunch.”
“But we have been waiting here all morning!” the group protested.
“Well, we had our share of tough battles,” he said. “So one of you, or none of you.”
“We fight together!” the group said.
“Come back after lunch, then,” the man said.
Jon felt an urgency, and fear that more delay would bother his friends, and he might as well learn what gym matches were like and prepare himself. “May I go in?”
The guard gave him the thumbs up to proceed in.
“Wait,” the group cried protest. “We were next!”
“You told me you were unwilling to break up your entourage,” the man said, waving Jon to continue.
“It’s not fair!” the lead said.
“How old are you?!” the guard asked.
The question made Jon quicken his pace. He found the second guard pushing him through the door and closing it behind him. He heard it lock, a loud ‘click’ that rumbled through him, and it felt ominous. He turned to face the gym, and found himself ‘outside.’ He turned to see the door he had just passed through gone. He reached out to touch it and found it still there. He turned back to the only path available. If he squinted, he could discern ceiling lights, as if he were in a gym, and for a moment he thought he had arrived on the holodeck of the Next Gen Enterprise.
An old man appeared to his right.
“Do you have any badges kid?” he asked.
Jon showed him the inside of his coat, where his secret service badge was.
“Aww,” the old man said. “Now that is a unique badge. I think I have only seen it once in my entire life.”
“Really?” Jon asked.
“Whenever you’re ready, just proceed down the path,” the old man said.
“Any advice?” Jon asked.
“Yeah, proceed down the path,” he said again.
“Do I know you?” Jon asked.
“Does anyone really know anyone?” he asked.
“Um,” Jon said, not sure what to make of him.
“Are you waiting for a white rabbit?” he asked.
“Maybe,” Jon said. “Do you have any hints or clues as to how I should proceed?”
“I work for this gym, kid,” the old man said. “Would you trust my advice?”
“Well, sure,” Jon said. “Gyms are supposed to raise people, not destroy people, right?”
“I like you, kid. Not a lot of people approach gyms with that attitude,” the old man said.
“Very well. I would advise against using water and ground type Pokémon. Good luck.”
Jon proceeded down the path, finding twists and turns, as if he were in a maze. Again he thought he heard the three, repetitive notes that would prelude Willy Wonka’s ‘pure imagination’ song. He found a berry bush and was compelled to eat one. He considered collecting more, but was then drawn to a flowering plant that looked like a cup. Inside there was liquid, and as if he were in the chocolate factory, he drank the contents and then ate the cup. He felt a rush of energy, and flush of warmth through his skin. He felt happy. He just wanted to linger in the gym and enjoy the sights, smells, and tastes. It was just when he was completely relaxed, enjoying the turns to the garden, that the two girls leaped out at him, nearly scaring the crap out of him. They were dressed ‘younger’ than their apparent age, all in pink, with a Pokémon face on their pullover shirt, and their pleated skirts flared as they twirled into place.
“I’m Miki,” the one girl said.
“And I’m Maki,” the other said.
“But you could call us Jo and Zoe, if you have a difficult time pronouncing our given names,” Miki said.
“Do people have trouble pronouncing your given names?” Jon asked.
“Some things just don’t translate well from culture to culture,” Miki said.
“Like, did you know some cultures think Pokémon are racist?” Maki said. “As if Pokémon can help what they look like.”
“We use to be graphic artists,” Miki said.
“I made Pokemon look better for magazine covers,” Maki said.
“I just made skinny girls look skinnier,” Miki said.
“And you were very good at it,” Maki said.
“Why, thank you. Anyway, different cultures have different social filters and so we try to be as sensitive as we can, but the truth of the matter is, there isn’t a Universe where someone somewhere isn’t being offended, so we decided to get out of the graphic arts and train Pokémon together. Nothing more horrible than having to change the look of an entire Pokémon just to sell magazines! Anyway, those days are gone, and now we educate where we can, change where we can, and if someone just simply can’t abide us or our philosophy, well, they are welcome to go live in their own Universe,” Miki said.
“You look like you’re still struggling,” Maki said.
“Yeah, well, it does seem like changing your name so someone can have an easier go at it is still very much like airbrushing pictures,” Jon said.
“I suppose,” Miki agreed. “But it’s just our given name, not our true, personal, secret names. People, like Pokémon and cats, have more than one name. So, no need to really get hung up on pronunciations and spellings.”
“But why Jo? Isn’t Jo a boy’s name?” Jon asked.
“See, there’s another cultural filter,” Miki said. “You have never heard of a girl name Jo?”
“I saw a movie about a guy named Joe,” Jon said.
“How about Bobby Jo?” Maki asked.
“Umm, sounds familiar,” Jon said.
“Surely you remember the theme song,” Miki said.
“Yeah, a very catchy theme song,” Maki agreed. “Pokémon Junction.”
“Wait wait wait, you mean Petticoat Junction?” Jon asked.
“No,” they both said, singing, “Pokémon Junction. Betty Jo, Emma Jo, and Bobbie Jo.”
“Catching Pokémon and bathing in the water tower,” Maki said.
“Oh, I love bathing in the water tower,” Miki said.
“I know my memory is cloudy, but that’s not how I remember it,” Jon said.
“I like you,” Miki said.
“I like you, too,” Maki said. “You seem surprised to hear that we like you.”
Jon sorted his feelings. “I am not use to hearing that, so I am not sure what to do with the information,” he said.
They both seemed suddenly lovingly sad. “That is so sad,” Miki said.
“Very,” Maki said. “Everyone is loveable to someone.”
“Well, I don’t doubt your sincerity, but I am curious as to the why. I mean, we just met and all,” Jon said.
“Oh, well, I don’t know. You just seem like a big, cuddly Pokémon to me,” Maki said.
“I can be more specific, if you like,” Miki said. “Though you look at us the way a graphic artist would look at a photo he’s about to change, you engaged us in deep conversation. You genuinely expressed interest in hearing us. You would be surprised how many boys these days don’t want to converse, they just want to get right down to battling, flipping through dialogues without a good read on us, and soon as they’re done, they’re off looking for their next score.”
“Oh, that’s so true,” Maki said. “I hadn’t considered that. Conversation does seem to be a lost art. And I do so love when a graphic artist’s eye is giving me the look over. It gives me chills. Let’s make it easy for him.”
“Or make it hard for him,” Miki said.
“Is that a euphemism for…”
“Pokémon battles,” Maki said. “Victreebel, I choose you!”
The plant that arrived looked like an older version of Belle, only when it roared, standing up on its vine like tail, it revealed vicious looking teeth. Jon recoiled, almost ran away.
“Oh, don’t be scared,” Maki said.
“The teeth are a little freaky,” Jon said.
“Well, sure, I would advise not putting your finger in its mouth,” Maki said.
“Like a Venus fly trap, what goes in doesn’t come out,” Miki agreed. “Vileplume, I choose you!”
Vileplume arrived, pushed up on its top flower protrusion, as if adjusting a hat, smiled, drooled, and wiped it with its rudimentary hand.
“What the hell is that,” Jon asked.
“That’s a Vileplume,” Miki and Maki said.
“It’s really odd looking,” Jon said.
“It was a bit Oddish looking at one time,” Miki and Maki both laugh. “Alright, Sir. Conversation time is over, training time has begun. Choose your Pokémon!”
Jon picked a ball from his belt, enlarged it, and tossed it into the match, saying, “Everest, I chose you.”
Kirlia arrived on the scene, looking at Jon as if having been called ‘Everest’ hurt her feelings. She put her hands on her hips and gave him a serious eye.
“Oh, sorry, Kirlia,” Jon asked. “How do you girls keep from getting your Poké balls confused?”
“We have a system,” Maki said. “Vileplume, poison attack.”
“Victreebel, cut,” Miki said.
“Wait wait wait,” Jon said. “I wasn’t ready. Kirlia! Um, do something.”
Kirlia put a hand to her forehead and fainted dead away. The two opponents laughed, before they realized it was a pseudo faint, very dramatic and convincing, if not a bit histrionic, but when they let their guard down, she came up with a psychic attack.”
“Nice faint,” Miki aid. “Leaf tornado.”
“So didn’t see that coming! Vileplume, spit up,” Maki said.
Kirlia was swept up in a whirlwind of leaves and spit, at first spinning like an ice skater, but then tumbling out of control. She landed on the ground, touched some of the slime like spit that was sticking to her, pulling away viscous, stringy, like stuff, made as if she was going to vomit, then passed out dead away, truly unconscious. Victreebel hit her with its tail, just to make sure.
“I am not sure double teaming me was fair,” Jon mumbled, as he knelt down to check on Kirlia.
“You could have used two Pokémon,” Miki said.
“Really?” Jon asked.
“Sure,” Maki said.
Jon reached for another ball.
“Well, not now,” Miki said. “The battle is over. Pay up.”
“We didn’t even battle a full whole minute!” Jon said.
“Oh, if I had Poké coin for every time I heard that lament,” Maki said.
“Yeah,” Maki said. “You really should work at building up some stamina if you’re going to play with two girls.”
Jon pouted. Kirlia came to, and reached for him, like a child wanting to be picked up. He did so, hugging her to him, trying to brush some of the slime off her, trying to shake off the excess by vigorously waving his hand. Shaking his hands caused spit to get on his face, and he had to wipe his hands on his jeans, then wiped his face on his coat sleeve. After Kirlia was thoroughly hugged and comforted as much he could without a restore potion, she touched her ball and went inside. Jon stood up to face the girls, who seemed quite impressed with themselves.
“So, what now?”
“You have to pay us,” Maki said.
“But I don’t have any money,” Jon said.
The trainers put their hands on their hip, and seemed rather sore. “It’s getting so difficult to make any money as a trainer,” Miki said.
“Good thing Erika put the new rules in place,” Maki said.
“New rules?” Jon asked.
“Yeah, for now own, starting now, any trainer who has insufficient funds to meet the minimum training fee will be obligated to perform labor for the trainer or the gym until the fee is satisfied,” Miki said. “So, follow us.”
“Where are you taking me?” Jon asked.
“Back to our apartment,” Maki said. “We have some chores for you.”
“Going to build some stamina!” Miki said. “Don’t doddle, you’ve already eaten much of our lunch hour.”
“But that was good conversation,” Maki said, linking arms with her friend or sister, something Jon was still not sure about.
“Indeed,” Miki said.
They unlinked arms, then each took one of Jon’s arms, and led him back to their apartment.
Jon came around the corner to find his friends in line, waiting for their next turn at the gym.
Loxy waved and he came right over.
“I told you he didn’t run out on us,” Reese told Mentos.
“Where have you been?” Loxy asked.
“In the gym, training,” Jon said.
“No you weren’t,” Mentos said.
“Yeah, I was,” Jon said.
“No, you weren’t!” Mentos said.
“Yeah…”
“Jon,” Loxy interrupted. “I would like to side with Mentos and express my skepticism.
You’ve been gone like a whole hour.”
Jon did the internal math and he wasn’t sure it was just one hour, but shrugged it off.
“Training is pretty grueling,” Jon said.
“How far into the gym did you get?” Reese asked.
“Oh, I didn’t get past Miki and Maki,” Jon said.
“Who?” Mentos asked.
“Jo and Zoe?” Jon asked.
Mentos laughed. “You got your ass beat by the twins!”
“Language!” Reese said.
“What?!” Mentos said. “Ass is in the dictionary. Right before bitch.”
“Well, I am clearly going to have to edit your dictionary,” Reese said.
“You can’t take a word away from me once I unlocked it,” Mentos said.
“Umm, I bet there is a Pokémon for that, somewhere,” Reese said.
“Wait wait wait, I am still struggling to understand,” Loxy said. “It took you like a whole hour to be defeated by Jo and Zoe?”
“What were you all using, Metapods?” the kid in front of them in line said, laughing with his friends.
Jon ignored the jab and kept on with Loxy. “Oh, no, I didn’t last a minute against them double teaming me,” Jon admitted. He didn’t understand why people were laughing.
The one guy behind them, maybe eleven, said “You really need to go back to the end of the line.”
“He’s with us,” Loxy said, using her command voice.
“But that’s not fair! He admits to just battling,” he said.
“How old are you?!” Loxy asked.
“Like that’s relevant?” he asked.
“Maybe!” Loxy said.
“Ageist!” he mumbled.
“Do you want a battle?” Loxy asked.
“No, I am saving my strength for the gym,” he said, hiding his soreness under a pout, his eyes hitting his own toes.
“Then speak up when you disparage someone,” Loxy said. She turned back to Jon.
“Where have you been for the last hour if you were KO in less than a minute?”
Jon blushed.
“What were you doing,” Reese said, crossing her arms. He wasn’t sure if it was maternal voice, the sister voice, or the girlfriend reconsidering the whole affair voice.
“I don’t know if I should say,” Jon said.
“Because of Mentos?” Reese asked, covering his ears.
“Stop treating me like a child! I am an official trainer and privy to adult conversations,” Mentos said, shrugging free of her hands.
“Well, it’s a little embarrassing,” Jon admitted.
“Spit it out,” Loxy said.
“I was washing Miki and Maki’s dishes,” Jon said.
The line was troublingly quiet, clearly interested in any secrets Jon might divulge. Loxy and Reese were sorting the information differently than Mentos.
“Are you using a euphemism for…” Reese asked.
“Washing dishes,” Jon said. “Apparently, trainers aren’t collecting enough fees, so the gym is implementing a new policy. If you don’t bring minimum payment schedule for training, you will be forced into manual labor for the trainer or gym.”
Several people left the line on hearing this information.
“What a game changer,” the girl next to the boy in front of Loxy said. She looked at Jon as if she was impressed with him.
“That’s not fair!” the kid behind them said.
“Right!” Mentos said in agreement. “They can’t change the rules mid game.”
“That’s why it’s called a game changer,” the game changer girl said.
“Seems like a fair change,” Loxy said. “People need to be able to earn a living, and if no one is bringing money to the gym, well, the gym has to have some way to pay the trainers who help us evolve.”
“Yeah,” Reese said, humbly. “I didn’t think about it like that. I was thinking I might want to be a gym trainer one day, because I assumed it was an easy way to earn money, and meet new people.”
“The only reason you want to be a trainer is you assume some guy will show up and be swept off his feet by you,” Mentos said.
“A girl can dream!” Reese said.
The old man who had met Jon when he first entered the gym approached.
“Excuse me, Sir,” the man interrupted. “I am glad to see you got back in line.”
“He cut in line! Make him go to the end,” the kid behind them said.
“I will take care of this, son,” the old man assured him. “Sir, if you will come with me, Miki and Maki would like to invite you to skip the cue and return directly to them to continue your training.”
“Really?” Jon asked.
“That’s not fair!” Mentos and the kid behind them said.
“Game changer!” the girl said. She turned to her boyfriend. “We should join him and his friend.”
“No, I am feeling a little jealous about how you’re suddenly looking at him,” her friend said.
“Oh! You really do like me?!” she said, and they went back into their conversation.
Meanwhile, the old man was addressing the boys who were still pushing their grievance.
“How old are you boys?” the old man asked.
“It does seem to violate line etiquette,” Jon said.
“They said they have more chores for you to perform, and that they really like you, since you did such a great job doing dishes,” the old man said.
“Are you sure that’s not euphemism for…” Reese began.
“Washing dishes,” Jon said.
“The twins are quite adamant that if you were in line, they would not advance the next guest until they saw you,” the old man said.
“What a game changer!” the girl in front of Loxy said.
“That’s not fair!” Mentos and the Kid said.
“Yeah, what’s so special about him?” Mentos asked.
“Remember to ask that when you’re his age,” the old man said.
“Are you kidding me?! I am more mature than he,” Mentos said.
Jon accepted the invitation, but before walking away stuck his tongue out at Mentos.
“Oh, that just burns me up!” Mentos said. “Your day is coming, Sir! Have fun getting creamed by some girls!”
Loxy and Reese covered their mouth to hide amusement as Jon and the old man walked away.
You might be thinking, what a great place for another song and montage, and you would be right, a super place for such, with probably scenes already done by others, made famous by other movies, only, in this there would be Pokémon. So, Jon would battle and then do chores. He mowed the lawn for the gym, with Miki and Maki lounging on beach chairs in bikinis drinking fruity colored drinks. Or Jon would be cleaning the pool, with Miki and Maki still in their chair, maybe with drinks, maybe with tanning reflectors. Of course, they were supervising and directing him the whole while, but also talking to themselves. While mowing the lawn, Jon wore jeans and a heavy, long sleeve shirt, but while cleaning the pool he wore shorts and a Hawaiian shirt. Another section of the gym needed watering, and there was a tug a war with positioning the water sprinkler because a Bulbasaur wanted to move it. Other Pokémon just wanted to run and play in the sprinkler. Jon put his hands on his hips as if he were going to discipline children, but then thought, why can’t children play in the sprinkler? Still, his paternal gesture got the whole of them to chase him with the sprinkler. So he joined them. Miki and Maki put their hands on their hips as if they were going to discipline Jon and Pokémon both, and Jon almost went away pouting, the Pokémon seemed hesitant, watching Jon as if they would take his lead, and then Jon suddenly took the sprinkler and charged Miki and Maki, getting them wet and the Pokémon came, too, and they ended up in a big pile of fun.
During the montage sequence, people in line had developed camp sites, and sleeping bags were out, and Pokémon and people played cards, maybe ‘Magic” or ‘Yu-Gi-Oh,’ but the cards are blocked out being it’s a Pokémon universe, but clearly some Pokémon card games going, and ‘Rock, Scissors, Pokémon’ which was much more complicated given all the types of Pokémon there was. Some spied Jon with a mean a look, some seemed sympathetic, and there was even one who asked him to leave some chores for others, which got a laugh. Back inside, Jon cooked for Miki and Maki, and there was even a sequence where he is leaning over a large magnifying glass that is attached to a table and applying fingernail polish to their finger nails, then their toe nails. He had an idea, and started applying the available polish to his Pokémon balls to more quickly identify his Pokémon. It was not lost on Jon that every time he came around to re-enter the gym, Loxy and Reese were wearing something different, where Mentos was wearing the same outfit. Once he felt compelled to stop and tell Loxy ‘very nice.’ She kissed him and sent him on his way.
And then it happened. Jon pulled Kirlia from the match and dropped Growlithe. Even though she was incredibly weakened, she refused to get in the ball, but simply accepted she couldn’t fight any longer, and retreated from the zone of conflict. She hovered behind Jon’s legs, watching. For once, Growlithe didn’t just go to sleep, he seemed to be assessing how his friends had been fairing in the fight. Sensing how Belle and Kirlia had been taking a beating, it experienced an emotion of loyalty and it rose up on its hind legs and batted the opponents simultaneously with both claws, and knocked them out cold. Miki and Maki were completely taken by surprised. So was Jon. That feeling rushed over him. An inner warmth and release that felt amazing, and was kind of blinding, as it made the world blur and spin.
Jon woke. The sky was incredibly blue, but he could discern he was in a gym. A gym with bluer than blue sky. The grass was greener than green, and it seemed to stretch in all directions for eternity. He heard a familiar voice calling his name and the world shrunk to better fit his expectations, and then there was Nurse Joy, smiling down at him.
“Hello, again,” Joy said. “You should really consider wearing a medical bracelet, informing people you may pass out when leveling up. You gave Miki and Maki a great scare.”
He saw Miki and Maki now, to either side of Joy.
“I am sorry for scaring you,” Jon said.
“It’s okay,” Miki said.
“Yeah, actually, it just revealed how much we really like you,” Maki said.
“You should also start carrying your own heal and revive potions,” Joy said. “Not that I mind doing gym-calls. I like getting out of the office. And I like treating you. I am curious why you’re wearing a beach shirt and shorts and Miki and Maki are in bikinis. Did you have a pool party and didn’t invite me?”
“Oh, no, we were just lounging while he serviced us,” Miki said.
“Provided services,” Maki corrected.
“Oh, did I say the English wrong again?” Miki asked.
“Well, Jon, if you want to come service me, just get KO and sent to the center again,” Joy said, offering him a hand up.
Jon accepted and his Pokémon approached, only Kirlia was no longer Kirlia, but clearly recognizable as an evolved form of the same.
“Kirlia!” Jon said. “You’re all grown up!”
“She evolved right before our eyes!” Miki and Maki both said. Miki continued. “It is always such a pleasure to watch people and Pokémon transition.”
“OMG, you’re like really sexy,” Jon said.
Gardevoir lowered her eye demurely, a subtle smile and rose color appearing in the cheek that was exposed. Her green hair still covered half her face and was shoulder length in the back.
“Awww, we didn’t learn our lesson with Belle, did we?” Joy asked, humorously.
“Uh?” Jon asked, breaking his eyes away from Gardevoir. “Oh, I am sorry.”
“No worries, Jon. I was teasing. She actually feels the same about you,” Joy said. “And, well, she is more compatible than your last Pokémon pairing.”
“She does? She is?” Jon asked.
“From the moment you paired, she’s been in your mind and heart, as only a telepathic fairy would be, and so she can’t help but be drawn towards you, or you to her,” Joy explained.
“These things always seem to happen. Well, I better get back to the Center.”
“Wait wait wait,” Jon said, touching Joy’s arm. “I have a question.”
“Of course,” Joy said. “If it falls in my domain, I would be happy to answer.”
“Is that clothes Gardevoir is wearing, or is it her body?” Jon asked.
Joy seemed amused, patted Jon on the back of the shoulder. “If you want to discover more about her anatomy, you should ask her,” she said. “Have fun training!”
“Bye now,” Miki and Maki said.
Once Joy had departed, Miki and Maki drew closer to Jon. Jon’s Pokémon gathered by his side.
“So, my friend, it is time for you to advance forwards into the gym,” Miki said.
“Yes, you have learned all that we can teach you,” Maki said.
“Really? I feel like I could have dozen more montages with you, at least,” Jon said.
Miki and Maki hugged him. “We love you, too,” Miki said.
“And you can always return to play with us anytime,” Maki said. “But, for now, any lingering would delay your progress.”
“If you insist,” Jon said, pulling his clothes from his bag so that he could dress.
“But first, we would like to give you a small token of our time together,” Miki said.
Jon quickly traded his jeans for his shorts, and decided to just leave the Hawaiian shirt on. Gardevoir touched his shoulder, looking slightly up to make eye contact. He felt a shiver go down his spine and wondered what unconscious message she had just sent into him.
“Some potions,” Miki said. “Joy is right, you do need to carry these.”
“And some pocket money. You should always have some pocket money,” Maki said.
“Having pocket money is just as important as changing your underwear daily.”
They hugged him again.
“Are you always so generous?” Jon asked. He was seriously impressed with the reward, feeling it was more like a present than something he had earned.
“Aww, that question seems so sad,” Miki said.
“Jon, we’re sorry the reward for winning your battle with us was not extravagant,” Maki said. “But you can rest assured, we really like you. Thank you for bringing your light to our world.”
Jon brought his hands together in Namaste fashion and bowed. “Thank you for training me.” He turned to his friend and recalled Belle and Growllithe to their respective balls. Growlithe went into a Poké ball that resembled the ‘Death Star.’ Gardevoir’s ball was painted to resemble a hippy, peace love flower motif. She declined, asking if she could walk with him instead, which he found agreeable. Belle’s ball had the words, ‘no bite.’
Miki and Maki stepped aside, their arms directing Jon to the path. He proceeded though the maze, until he came into a fork in the road. He chose left. No sooner than he went around the corner, the next trainer was leaping out of the bushes.
“Thought you could get past me, did you?!” she said.
“Um,” Jon said, speechless. Gardevoir was giving Jon the suspicious eyes.
“That’s right, you can’t resist my splendor,” she said. “It’s not the first time I have witnessed that reaction. They say beauty doesn’t last, but I believe if it’s in your heart, it will last a life time. My name is Beauty and you must conquer me before advancing!”
“Okay,” Jon stammered.
Jon hardly recalled the battle. He as pretty sure there was Bulbasaur involved, but as he was going around to return to the gym, after a quick stay at the Pokémon Center, Reese and Loxy greeted him with happiness. Mentos sneered.
“OMG, Kirl