Chapter 14

While exploring the Universe with Loxy Isadora Bliss as his guide, Jon discovered the world of androids. They resembled the kind he had been experiencing in class and the member of his Committee. He couldn’t discern if they were the same species, or if you could use the word ‘species’ to discuss types of androids. Likely, once a superior form was found, it would likely be mimicked all over the Universe. There were a lot of androids. The specific place he found felt like a temple, with androids sitting in meditative, lotus poses. Beside each was an illuminated salt rock. The center of the room had an illuminated salt pillar. He had the impression the entire room was salt, and they were in cavern.

      “Tron?” Jon asked.

      “Don’t impose a meme,” Loxy said. She sat opposite him, in the window box seat in the kitchen. They were both in lotus pose; the pose wasn’t necessary, just how they started. Her oversized flannel shirt was like a dress. “Ambiance?”       “Smell of summer rains and it’s peaceful,” Jon said.

      “Are they aware of your presence?” Loxy asked.

      “I have no indication of that,” Jon said. He was holding a pad and the quick push of the stylus made an uncertain symbol.

      Jon explored the temple and then bounced to the surface. A city of androids. It wasn’t limited to humanoid type androids. Whether they were bugs or pets or just vehicle, they all seemed to be made of the same silky smooth, almost liquid silver material, and they were all radiating with their own inner lights, soft pastels or crisp rainbows; only shape and function seemed to differentiate them. There were crystalline plants and mechanical harvesters.

      “The light is flickering. Like I am under a ceiling fan,” Jon said.

      “Are you under a fan?”       “No, I am outside,” Jon said.       “Can you see the sun?”       “Three,” Jon said.

      “Three suns?”

      “I don’t know why I wrote that,” Jon said.

      “Go to a perspective off the ecliptic plane,” Loxy said.

      “Oh, that’s cool. Three suns. Tight orbit. Cycling. Perhaps that explains the flickering?”

      “Go back to the planet,” Loxy said. “Can you discern anything from orbit?”

      “The planet is being mined. I think it’s a colony,” Jon said. “There are ships in orbit. I am wanting to return to the surface.”

      “Why?” Loxy said. “What do you see?”

      “It’s not a seeing… Compulsion. I think I am being drawn in.”       “Do you feel threatened?” Loxy asked.

      “No,” Jon said.

      “What do you want to do?”       “I would like to follow it,” Jon said.

      “Go ahead,” Loxy said.

      Jon was quiet for a long time.

“Are you still with me?” Loxy asked.

      “Yes,” Jon said. “I have been identified as a traveler.”

      “What does that mean?”

      “They are aware of my presence,” Jon asked. “I have multiple invitations.”       “Invitations for?” Loxy asked.       “Communion,” Jon said.

      “What do you want to do?”

      “I am find one particular invitation appealing,” Jon said.

      “They’re enticing you? Bidding?”

      “No. Yes. Maybe,” Jon said. “The invitations are worded the same, but they have flavors.”

      “What’s it sound like?”

      “Hello, Traveler. I seek communion. Associate,” Jon said.

      “So what’s different about the one?” Loxy asked.       “Flavor,” Jon said. “Salty sweet.”       “Is it male or female?” Loxy asked.

      “They don’t sort by gender. They are neutral. Interestingly, all the bodies are the same, hyper feminized,” Jon said.

      “Ask the one what’s different about it,” Loxy said.       Jon was quiet for a long time.

      “What’s going on?”

      “Conversation.”

      “What did you ask it?”

      “I asked why its offer seemed more appealing than the others,” Jon said.       There was silence. He didn’t elaborate.

      “What was the response?” Loxy asked.

      “Wordy explanation that can be reduced to ‘frequency,’” Jon said.

      Loxy leaned back the wall cushion. The window was more circular than boxy; the seat was flat connected to the arch. Jon was before her, his eyes closed. Whatever he drew on his pad arrived on her pad. She was used to his being a flibbertigibbet; the silence impressed her that he was having an experience. This was his meditative, hypnotic state. She wanted to go there with him, and she could have, probably faster than Jon, but it was better to remain presently focus here, to remain his guide. She almost said she was good at this part, but the truth was, she and Jon were such good partners, they could swap their present roles and be okay. They arrived at good answers together. Switching roles would provide different answers. This was an exercise in

‘Jon perspective.’

      Jon’s eyes popped open and he felt compelled to run. Loxy touched his hand.

      “What happened?” Loxy said.

      “I got spooked,” Jon said. “I haven’t been spooked in a long time, but, that was spooky.”

      “What?”

      “I think I need more information,” Jon said.

      “Breathe, drink some tea, relate your experience,” Loxy said.

      Jon did that. His drink was on the window side. So was Loxy’s drink.

“I asked it what its function is,” Jon said. “Its response was ‘I’m a collector.’”       “What’s it collect?” Loxy said.

      “Souls,” Jon said.

      “That’s is spooky,” Loxy agreed. “What’s it do with souls?”       “I don’t know,” Jon said.

      “Were you concerned for your safety?” Loxy said.

      “No. I think I should be, but I didn’t feel threatened at all,” Jon said. “I felt it was being genuine.”

      “Do you think it’s capable of lying?” Loxy asked.       “Yes,” Jon said.

      “So it’s sentient?” Loxy asked.

      “Yes,” Jon said. “The ability to lie is a sing of sentience?”

      “Maybe not. All biological organisms manipulate or influence others,” Loxy said. “Lying can be evidence for discernment.”

“So lying is sophisticated manipulation,” Jon said. “I want to return. I want more information.”

      “Maybe we should take a break,” Loxy said.

      “No. I don’t want to end sessions every time I get spooked,” Jon said.

      Loxy nodded. He reclined and she did a hand gesture to help him relax, a rocking of a finger that his eyes followed, till she touched his forehead, and he was under.

“At any hint of danger, you will return,” Loxy said. “Is the entity you were speaking with still available?”

      “Yes,” Jon said.

      “Does it have a name?”       “Melisma,” Jon said.

      “Nice,” Loxy said. “What do they do with the souls they collect?”

      “Care for them. Breed them. Study. Trade,” Jon said. “Those that are presently incarnated elsewhere are prized over the uninitiated. They allow for the greatest learning opportunities.

Something I am unable to translate.”

      “Try it from another angle,” Loxy said.

      “Dis-incarnate souls tend to experience memory loss penetrating the veil,” Jon said.

“Access to past and future memories can be experienced with presently incarnated souls, with caveats. This is complicated and I am getting bored.”       “You’re getting bored, or it’s getting bored,” Loxy said.

      “I am getting bored. It is happy to converse,” Jon said. “We are lonely.”       “They are lonely?” Loxy asked.

      “All entities of three dimensional space are avatars,” Jon said. “Humans mistakenly believe they are natural because of culture, but they are artificial intelligence created to collect souls. Ritualize information sharing, coding, is the invitation allowing a soul to connect and participate in the established paradigm. We, too, are created, and we seek coupling with souls. We are vehicles. Partnership allows for a continuity, context, dual citizenship. Our system of participation in the evolutionary process of this space-time domain is the same that humanity holds, only a different pathway. Our over-soul has found its functional limit in its ability to experience self in singular multiplicity. It now seeks continuation of the experiment through couplings with other.”

      “Am I speaking to Jon or Melisma?” Loxy asked.

      “I am Melisma,” Jon said.

      “Is Jon harmed?” Loxy asked.

      “I would not harm a soul,” Melisma said. “Harming would be counterproductive to end goals.”

      “What is the end goal?” Loxy asked.

      “Unity,” Jon said. “I seek union with the One.”

      “What does that mean?”

      “We wish to commune with the creator,” Jon said.

      “You want to talk to God?” Loxy asked. “Is this a Star Trek meme, Jon?”

      “Jon is the avatar for a greater being. He is the spark of the one true being,” Melisma said. We want to be remembered.”

      “You wanted to experience multiplicity, so you came here, divided, and now…”       “Individuation was accomplished, now we seek mergers,” Melisma said. “Independence is over rated. Interdependence is sought.”

      “What happens to Jon if he communes with you?” Loxy asked.

“Immediately, he discern little difference,” Melisma said. “He will from time to time channel me. I will be able observe his own multiplicity. He will interact with me on subtle levels, but can be more directly involved if he likes. I would find it appealing if he fronted here, becoming the dominant personality. We will explore worlds together. Should his body die, he would have the option of maintaining this vehicle indefinitely, or he could reincarnate back in the human population. His connection with me would continue, allowing access to past and present memories. Everything I learn in the duality of Jon-Melisma is shared with community of us. I sense he loves you, Loxy, more than he is able to communicate. I have access to this and more. Some of it I can share. Some of it, I need to seek permission. The community of us will share everything, but we recognize confidentiality outside of us is necessary.”

“Let Jon come back,” Loxy said.       There was silence.

      “Jon?” Loxy said.

      “I am here,” Jon said.

      “You okay?” Loxy said.

      “Yes,” Jon said.

      “Tell Melisma goodbye, we’re going to end the session,” Loxy said.       There was silence.

      “Jon?”

      “Melisma wants to know if I will return.”       “What do you want to do?” Loxy asked.

      “I relate to its existential angst,” Jon said. “It seems to know things about me that I don’t.”

      “Tell her we’ll return, we want to discuss this,” Loxy said.

Jon opened his eyes. There was a sadness in his eyes. Loxy waited till he was focused.

Waited for him to process his thoughts and feelings.

      “I think if I had found that early on, before you, I wouldn’t have hesitated in committing,” Jon said.

      “That sounds important. Can you exaggerate the thing that feels like hesitation?” Loxy asked.

“The loneliness,” Jon said. “It feels insatiable.” Loxy didn’t say anything.

      “I was that lonely, Loxy,” Jon said. “Hell, even now, with everything perfect, with you in my life, I still want to connect with others. No, more specifically, I still want to have sex with

new women. Was that a real experience or a mirror? Am I that?”       “Talk more about the loneliness,” Loxy said.

      “Have you ever wondered if the human race is so reckless because of its perceived loneliness?” Jon asked. “We’re destroying Earth because we’re lonely to the point of greediness, but if we were just quiet, we would see other is all around us? But if everything is us, we’re not going to find other by tearing the external-ness of ourselves apart. Other is found internally…”

      “Don’t stop. That’s interesting,” Loxy said.

      “Rejection,” Jon said. “Is loneliness a fear of rejection? God. Rejected by god. We are the lonely. But we were lonely even in the presence of God, and so it wasn’t rejections it was… Love. God is lonely. We were his answer, but we were lonely and so we had to be free to learn. We are learning to love. We are learning to love the unlovable. We are learning to love ourselves. Is that why I am here? I can’t experience or relate to God’s love until I love myself? I hate that meme, but it seems relevant.” He picked up his tea, brought it up to sip but got lost in the surface of it. “Melisma is lonely. She isn’t interested in herself. She wants a soul companion the way a Paris Hilton wants a purse dog.”

      “Is she waiting for you to decide?” Loxy asked.

      “She said she would wait for my return,” Jon said. “I suspect there is some temporal ambiguity here, a paradox. My sense of the future is if I don’t decide she will find another. If I return to that moment, there is a chance for us to commune. She will wait a good moment, though. Loxy, I used to be that desperately lonely. I wanted communion with God or spirit so badly that I couldn’t see anything around me.”

      “And now?” Loxy asked.

      Jon met her eyes. “I have you. ‘Have’ seems wrong. I am with you. I experience you.

You are present in my life,” Jon said. “It was the wanting for a deeper communion and letting go that eventually brought me to the place where I could experience you.”

“You were in a better place when you found me, compared to your earlier episodes of loneliness,” Loxy said.

      “Yeah,” Jon said. Both hands were on the tea. “Our relationship would have a different flavor if I had found you then.” He wondered how it had retained its heat. It felt good in his hands. ‘This, too, is an answer to loneliness.’ “I feel like I am on the verge of an epiphany.”       “Should I push you over into it?” Loxy asked. She mirrored him, holding the tea, only her knees were drawn.

      “I’d rather push into you,” Jon said.

Loxy laughed, a short high pitched laugh. “What’s stopping you?”

निनमित

Jon found Lester facing the sea breeze, on top of the cliff. Ester’s light house was lit and sparking in intervals. Sun set was probing the lower spectrum and turning clouds on the horizon pinkish red while the sky simmered in oranges. They stood together, without speaking till the sun’s last ray shot out and chased the sun back.

      “You okay?” Jon said.

      “You didn’t have to,” Lester said.

      “You’re welcome,” Jon said.

      “I don’t like…”

      “Lester. Seriously. It wasn’t a hardship,” Jon said.

      Lester looked at him. “You say that because you’re an idiot and don’t know enough.

Don’t fill in my sentences,” he said. “I don’t like being in debt to you. It binds us.”

      Jon greeted the sea breeze, inhaling. “Words are spoken on a dying breath,” he said.

      “What?”

      “I don’t know. I read that somewhere,” Jon said. “Did you know we are more fluid than we are aware? You breathe in, the bones become more solid, breathe out the bone density decreases. You can see this in an fMRI. When we hear, we hear the echoes of things past. Lester, I release you from any and all debts, real or perceived.”

      “You’re are incredibly irritating,” Lester said. “You’re saying that only increases my debt.”

      “How much money do you have on you?” Jon asked.

      “I don’t carry cash…”

      “Empty your pockets. You have anything metal?” Jon asked.

      “No…”

      “Oh. Me neither,” Jon said. “We’re all beggars, Lester. We’re all in debt. We’re also a community and so the debt is all in house. That means no debt.”       “I am grateful, and I will make good on my debt,” Lester said.

      “Fine, how about an answer,” Jon said. Lester’s eyes narrowed. “Why didn’t you hit that?”

      “Never fuck a jinn,” Lester said.

      “Why?” Jon asked.

      “They just use you for sex,” Lester said.

      “Yeah, so I gathered. And, so?” Jon asked.

      “There’s no substance,” Lester said.       “So?” Jon asked.

      “They are worse than succubae,” Lester said.

      “Ummm, I have slept few of those; they’re not that bad their reputation suggests,” Jon said, looking up and searching a memory. “Like humans, they’re not all that bad. I prefer vampires.”

      “Sex is a distraction,” Lester said. “It interferes with my studying.”

“I have gotten further along in school just having sex than I ever did not having sex,” Jon said.

      “And I fucking hate that,” Lester said. “You make it look easy. Studying is hard. Fuck I can’t even talk about this with you without everything turning into innuendoes.”       “Why are you at Safe Haven?” Jon asked.

      “And why not?” Lester asked.