The sun peeps in through the curtains towards the bed where I lie. It is morning, and I know I should be happy for a new day with new possibilities. The truth is, I am not. Just now I am fed up with most things. My life is not going smoothly at present. Not only did I recently lose my job, but my marriage has gone down the drain.
Furthermore, I think the entire world is a pile of shit. Everywhere one looks there seem to be problems. Terrorism and wars are particularly dreadful, but wars are being fought here in my own neighborhood as well, even over trifles. And then there is the way people, animals and nature are being misused and usurped. And our greed for profit and exaggerated material luxury, which has brought so much suffering in its wake. Additionally, we have these enormous environmental problems that we don’t seem able to handle, they just keep increasing. Did I mention social distancing because of pandemics? There is apparently no end to all our problems. I’ll not continue to enumerate them all here, - you get the picture...
The only place I feel really free is in nature. That is where I can be myself. Or actually, not completely, as my thoughts won’t leave me in peace even there, but accompany me wherever I go. Albeit muted when I am in nature, because the peace and harmony that reigns there has an effect on me, but it is very bothersome to have a mind that is constantly nagging. Perhaps, if I do some special exercises with a view to stop all this nagging, I might see the end of it? At least so I have heard. Well, I might take a look at this later. Just now I simply want to get out of my apartment; I can’t stand being here any longer. My own thoughts are making me feel depressed.
But I ought not exaggerate. After all, I have good friends and family who confirm that the world and we humans are perhaps not that bad after all, because there are a lot of great people in the world, and we do many good things. On the other hand, there is no getting around the fact that we cause a lot of problems for each other. Just the other day I saw on the news that yet another murder had been committed, and yet another violent conflict and protest against some injustice or other was going on. In fact, such things are on the news every day. No wonder one can become disillusioned, depressed and losing faith in humankind! Could this be what has happened to me?