This day started much like any other in December. A cold winter front was just blowing in. The snow was falling heavy and white. It covered all the dirt and muck that had been accumulating on the streets in frozen piles. I knew the dirt was still there, just beneath the serene surface, like a blemish covered by foundation on the face of the city, festering below.
I had eventually retreated back to the hideout. Their hideout, not mine. Not my home.
But I had nowhere better to go. Tom was no doubt off with his family, wherever rich people retreated during winter break. I never really knew where he went, only that he was always there when I got back.
But that would change today. I was going home. My real home. I had already purchased my bus ticket.
I checked my phone. No missed calls or texts from the family. I tried both parents and got no responses.
I tried not to worry. They were most likely busy, getting ready for Christmas. But I was worried.
I had an hour to kill before I needed to get to the bus stop. I decided I would take to the streets again. I had no desire to stay here.
I passed Derek at the front desk.
“Headed out?” he asked.
“Yeah, going to walk to the bus stop. It’s a ways away, and I don’t want to miss it,” I replied.
“Going home, eh? Well someone can give you a ride, if you want,” he responded.
“I’m good, thanks.” I headed toward the front door.
“Enjoy Christmas break with your family!” he called after me.
I knew they were all concerned about me. About the information we’d found concerning my family. But I was pretty sure only Holly knew that I felt betrayed. I guess I should have always known I was being recruited, that her interest in me was not all that it appeared to be.
But I had been able to convince myself that she had real feelings for me. That what we had was not a part of whatever this was. That we were separate, apart from their organization. I really had no one else to blame. I had deceived myself.
I still hadn’t talked to her since last night. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure that I could face her, and I was afraid she would be able to convince me her feelings for me were real, whether it was true or not. Because I knew mine were. I knew she would be able to draw me back in, because more than anything I wanted it to be true.
But seeing that they weren’t just targeting me, but targeting my family? That had been too much. I needed to get away from here and think.
This wasn’t some fairytale. I wasn’t playing a hero, and Holly wasn’t a damsel in distress. She was a cold-blooded killer like the rest of them. And they were using everything they had at their disposal to gain every advantage they could over their enemies.
I was one of those advantages. A weapon on their wall.
Sure I had been ineffective this time, but in the future? Once they had properly instructed me? Why else would they want to recruit me? I had nothing to offer, no specialty or knowledge. Nothing they couldn’t gain for themselves. They had everything they needed in that regard.
The only thing I could offer was my body, myself. The virus they had injected me with and the abilities it granted me.
Did I owe them? Maybe. They had given me a second lease on life.
But my family did not. That was the real issue. The Rogues hadn’t been targeting only me.
That wasn’t part of the deal. My family wasn’t part of the deal.
In all our talks about their mission, their purpose, never once did anyone suggest that my family might have to pay the price for my cure.
Would I even have agreed to the experimental virus, all those days ago, if I had known its potential cost? I wasn’t sure.
That thought made me feel ashamed.
I vowed then and there, I would leave it all behind.
I would not pursue being a hero, or any other grand endeavors. I would hit the books hard. I would graduate and get my degree. I would use my higher capacities to get ahead. Maybe get an MBA or something.
I figured I could move at least twice as fast as the average individual. Maybe not as quickly as someone who had real connections, but I would definitely be more effective in the real world.
I would become wealthy and take care of my family. Once they were comfortable, I could focus on myself. I had time now, after all.
Before it had been all about me. I had been the one dying. Everyone should focus on my happiness—God knows it’s all I cared about. But now I needed to grow up, become less selfish, less self-centered. I guess that’s part of what being an adult was.
There we go. That was my purpose. Finally.
I would get a degree, help the family, and maybe travel. I had a feeling I could pick up other languages rather quickly.
I stepped out with new determination. I finally had a plan of action. Something to work towards. Most importantly, it would not endanger those I loved.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. I snatched it out quickly, but it wasn’t my parents.
“Ryan?” It was Holly.
“Yeah.” I couldn’t quite keep the disappointment from my voice.
“I was just wondering where you were. Did you want a ride to the bus? Have you talked to your parents yet?” she asked.
“No. They still haven’t answered.” I let the accusation drip like acid.
“I’m sorry,” she said, her voice full of remorse.
I sighed.
I really shouldn’t take this out on her. I was frustrated because they hadn’t answered yet. I was disappointed because I had fallen for this gorgeous woman when her initial purpose had been to draw me in for government recruitment. Worst of all, Tom had been right.
I had brought all of this on myself. I should have gone home for break. I shouldn’t have had any delusions about what I could be, who I was. I was an average kid from a small town going to community college. In short, I was nobody.
Those types of thoughts were the silly delusions of a kid who had experienced nothing more exciting in life than a few parties and some underage drinking. The idea that life held something greater for me, that I could be part of something real—those were Tom’s dreams. That’s what he was undoubtedly destined for. Not me.
“I’m sorry for leaving without saying goodbye,” I replied after a moment.
“It’s ok. I understand.” Her voice sounded sad through the phone.
Immediately I wanted to see her. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be all right. That was the effect she had on me.
“Do you want to come pick me up? I’m at, uh…” I looked around for the cross streets and named them for her.
“Sure. I’ll be right there.” She hung up.
It didn’t take long for a nondescript sedan to pull up alongside me. She must have already been out driving around. Maybe she really did care.
I could see her leaning over and stretching toward the passenger door through the tinted windows. Then it popped open, and she leaned back quick enough to keep from looking silly.
“Need a ride?” she asked with a small smile.
“Sure.” I smiled despite myself.
I slid into the seat, closing the door behind me.
I turned to her, and she took me by surprise. She kissed me before I could even attempt to speak. Her mouth was hot and inviting. Her tongue delightfully delicious. I savored every second.
A piercing car horn cut our kiss short. I leaned back, baser thoughts conquering my mind. She pulled smoothly into traffic, and off we went.
We sat in silence for a minute before she spoke.
“I’m sorry,” she started.
“It’s ok,” I answered quickly.
I surprised myself by how much I meant it. One kiss and I was right back where she wanted me. Even the thoughts of her possibly manipulating me weren’t enough to make me bitter. Instead I was lost in the memory of her. Her lips. Her mouth. Her tongue. Her body.
“It’s really not,” she said with a side-long glance. “I never meant for any of this to happen. I wanted you to join up with us. I know you can help. You can be a big part of what we are trying to accomplish. Our mission.” She looked at me and saw the expression on my face.
“But that’s not what this is about,” she continued quickly.
“That’s what it started as. Maybe. Back at the hospital. I didn’t see you as I do now.” A smile.
“But even then, all I was supposed to do was give you the treatment. The cure. Make you better. The odds you were going to survive…”
“Yeah?” I raised my eyebrows.
“Sorry. But yes, they weren’t great. So getting attached seemed… foolish. That night at the club. That was… magical? I don’t know. That sounds stupid.” She shook her head.
“I just couldn’t help myself. It was like. We just…” She trailed off again.
“I know,” I answered.
She didn’t need to elaborate. I had felt it too.
At first, I had thought it was merely the unfamiliar feelings of a virgin kid and his first time. But now? No.
A thousand times I had seen Tom walk this path. He never seemed to develop any connections other than a physical one.
What I had felt for Holly was something else entirely. To call it love would be erroneous. We had not developed a relationship deep enough to have a feeling as complex and intricate as love. But it was not as shallow as lust.
Maybe it was the workings of the viruses inside our bodies. Maybe it was something as inexplicable as my shadow-sight ability.
Whatever it was, we were drawn to each other. I could feel it in the air, an almost physical manifestation. Like static electricity between us, only stronger. An attraction that made outside distraction one of the few things that could cause us to pull apart from each other.
I didn’t know what it was, but I knew what it meant.
All my plans, all my ideas, all my thoughts of putting family first receded like the tide before the moon. Lines in the sand quickly redrawn by the new crashing waves. Everything I had determined I would do was no longer relevant. Everything I had been determined I was not, I would be for her. All outside vows undone. Only one that mattered. I was hers.
She stopped the car. We had arrived. She stared straight forward and took a deep breath before turning to me with a melancholic look in her eyes. She did what I was powerless to do, and set me free.
“Go. Be with your family. I’ll see you around? You have my number.”
We could both hear the lie in her voice.
I just nodded and opened the door.
I felt like I was moving through molasses. The air was suddenly heavy, ice cold. My legs were stiff and unresponsive. I dragged myself from the car. I shut the door behind me and didn’t look back until I heard her driving away.
I sank down onto the bench as if I weighed a thousand pounds. The few other people waiting took a look at me and let me be. No small talk for me. Mostly they were huddled against the cold anyway.
Five minutes passed, and I checked my phone. Almost time. And then there it was. The sound of fate on tarmac, tires pounding down the pavement, ready to take me back to the mundane prison of normalcy. This time, though, I was a willing captive.
Except these tires approached far too quickly.
I looked up in time to see Holly’s sedan screeching to a halt in front of me. My heart burst alive in my chest.
Only her actions were frantic, not romantic. She practically threw the door open at me.
“Get in!”
It was a demand, not a request.
My heart turned ice cold. I did as she bid.
“What’s wrong?” I asked frantically.
“It’s Michael,” she answered.
“What about my family?!” I asked frantically.
“Not sure yet,” she muttered quickly.
I wanted to know more but didn’t dare break her concentration as she sped through the city. Her knuckles gripped the wheel so hard I was afraid it would break off in her hands. We arrived back to base in record time.
I followed on her heels into the main room, where the rest of the crew was already gathered. No one said anything at my reappearance.
“Everyone’s here,” James stated.
And so they were. Except for their mysterious boss. And Michael.
“Holly told you?” He looked directly at me.
I looked at Holly, she shook her head.
“Michael’s dead,” James stated.
I took a moment to process this. One of them—no, one of us had died. Someone with almost supernatural abilities. Someone who had an insane amount of training and covert skills.
The one person sent to protect my family. Dead.
“What about my family?” I asked.
“We don’t have any eyes on the situation,” James said.
Holly reached out and put a hand on my shoulder.
“So what do we do?” My voice was borderline frantic.
“We make a plan, gear up, and head out. We are a family, and you are a part of that whether you asked to be or not. We have each other’s backs, always.” James looked me dead in the eye.
Derek and Logan nodded at me, Aaron stared straight ahead, and Mia and Lily stood apart, both giving me a sympathetic look.
“I know you wanted out. This doesn’t change anything. If that’s what you want, that’s what you’ll get. But for this, we stick together.” James looked around.
He took a deep breath and his voice dropped. I felt a tingling sensation through my whole body.
“We also avenge our fallen,” he stated with ice-cold conviction.
I believed him.