Chapter 11
The gang returned home to rest up for their next journey. Galaxy-Man practically went into hibernation. It wasn't unusual for him to stay in bed for several days after an adventure, and by bed I mean room full of blankets of course. After a few days sleep, Galaxy-Man had awoken from his epic slumber and took things easy for the day. Cherry went to the library to study as she often did. Everyone was recuperating from the exhausting endeavor on Lackadaisia. Galaxy-Man believed in taking things easy after a big adventure like that and count his blessings, though he didn't believe in God of course.
It was a calm day: no monsters, no magic portals, the damsels (or lads) in distress. Galaxy-Man sat outside in Hamilton's childhood swing set with Stevie in his lap. He was wearing loose-fitting khakis and a sky blue Rugrats shirt. He was gently swaying back and forth reading comic books, smoking a very long cigar, and drinking cheap grape wine out of the bottle. Next to him was a stack of rare comic books he inherited from his father, though, he only took care of the ones he enjoyed reading. Value, after all, is relative to the individual. One person's treasure is another person's trash.
“Dude,” said Galaxy-Man to no one in particular, “this sucks, man. Superman is so OP.”
Etsuka, Barnard and Caiden came walking by and saw Galaxy-Man reading comics. Barnard and Galaxy-Man's father were both avid collectors of comics, though, they collected for sport so to speak and never actually read them.
Barnard was always jealous of his collection and when he saw Galaxy-Man reading them he had to walk over. “What are you doing with Mr. Belfort's comics?” asked Barnard. Belfort being Galaxy-Man's father's surname.
“I never liked my father's name,” said Galaxy-Man as he thumped through the pages. “I'm glad I got my mother's last name, but you guys don't know what that is.”
Etsuka rolled her eyes. “Oh my God, we don't care,” she said snobbishly.
“You should be more careful with such a collector's item, young man,” said Barnard. “Do you know how much that book is worth?”
“Nothing,” answered Galaxy-Man, very sure of himself.
“Excuse me?” asked Barnard. “That's an Action Comics # 3. It's worth thousands.”
“Yeah, only 'cause dords like you say it is. The story's lame, the characters suck, the art isn't great. Is it wrong of me to say that the value of something should be based on its quality?”
“What's a dord?” asked Etsuka.
“Look,” said Galaxy-Man, “if you promise to actually read them, you can have all of these comics... except Fantastic Four. You can't have those.”
“I have more important things to do than sit around all day reading comics,” said Barnard as he walked away.
A whistling was heard in the distance. Stevie got up from Galaxy-Man's lap because she knew Cherry was walking home from the library and she always brought Stevie a lock of fresh catnip that grew wild around the library. Sure enough, Cherry came strolling along whistling the Andy Griffith Show theme song.
Galaxy-Man thumped his cigarette away and took a swig of his cheap wine. He warmly smiled as he glanced at his daughter walking down the street. “Isn't she lovely?” he asked. “She's a real bookworm that one. Can't keep her away from the 'brary. For her, learning is a hobby rather than a chore, more of a game than anything else.”
Etsuka shook her head. “Mm, she lacks discipline,” she said. “Children need a hard, structured learning system in order to succeed. Isn't that right, Caiden?
“Yes, mother,” replied Caiden, though, he didn't really mean it. Like Cherry, Caiden was also home-schooled. Etsuka was a hard teacher though and pushed him way too hard to succeed. He wasn't allowed to read, watch or play anything that didn't further his learning. He was brilliant, but he was also miserable. He had no real friends and was socially awkward. He was shy and didn't make eye-contact with anyone.
“I don't mean to tell you your business,” said Galaxy-Man as he took another sip of wine, “but kids need to play and have fun just as much as they need schoolin'. Why don't you let him come over some time and play with Cherry? I think that'd do 'em both some good. Cherry needs more friends her age.”
Etsuka was adamantly opposed to this idea. “There will be plenty of time for play after Caiden finishes college,” she said, very stone-faced.
“Yo Caidydid,” said Galaxy-Man. “I got some knowledge for you. Life doesn't begin after school. It began the day you were born, dude. One day, when you get your fancy degree in being a know-it-all asshole, you're gonna look back at your dull, boring life and realize just how few nice memories you made.”
Etsuka was totally speechless, but Caiden actually wished he would keep going. He was much too afraid to say anything himself and almost saw Galaxy-Man as a sort of hero.
Cherry then walked up wearing her turtle shell backpack. “What are you guys talking about?” she asked.
“Actually we were just leaving,” said Etsuka angrily.
“Okay, hate you too,” said Cherry. Stevie began pawing at Cherry's legs waiting for the sweet, sweet 'nip. She knelt down to give Stevie some of the catnip and glanced up at Caiden. Cherry looked right in Caiden's eyes and smiled because she knew it made him uncomfortable. “Hi Caiden. How are you today?” she asked in her girliest voice.
“Come on Caiden,” said Etsuka, “you don't have to answer that.”
“What are you, his lawyer?” asked Galaxy-Man.
“I'm his mother,” she replied.
“Whatevs, braj,” said Cherry. “Yo, Father-Man, is the doh locked? I gotta feed the fish.”
“Nah, man, city done turned the water off today. You gotta use Hamilton's bathroom.”
“Son of a bitch, I hate pooping in strange bathrooms.”
Etsuka's jaw dropped. “You let your nine-year-old daughter talk like that!?”
Galaxy-Man pointed at Cherry. “Yeah, Cherry, you watch your goddamn mouth you little shit!”
Cherry jokingly rolled her eyes. “Damn, man, why you gotta ride my ass all the time?“
After a short pause, the two then erupted into laughter as Etsuka stormed off holding Caiden's hand. Caiden glanced back at Galaxy-Man and Cherry with a blank expression. Who knows what was going through his mind.
“I kinda feel sorry for him,” said Cherry.
“Yeah, but what can you do?” added Galaxy-Man.
Stevie was anxiously awaiting more 'nip. “Stevie want catnip,” said Cherry in her best caveman voice. She took off her backpack and sat it on the ground. She reached in a pulled out the rest of the catnip she picked and Stevie went crazy. “You're such a sillygoat, Stevie,”
“Stee-dizzle 'bout to get tore up!” said Galaxy-Man. He took another sip of his wine. “Dude, this wine is killer. Want some?”
Cherry grabbed the bottle “You know, braj.” She took a very generous swig. “Tee hee, I love wine,” she giggled. “It makes my head tickle.”
“You're funny, Cherry.”
Cherry started walking over to Hamilton's door. “I'm gonna go make poops. Don't wait up.” She tried the door but it was locked. “Aw, what? It's locked.”
“Oh, guess Godboy's still at church,” said Galaxy-Man. “Don't worry, we'll find a way in.” Galaxy-Man walked over to Hamilton's bird bath, removed the top of it and poured the water out. He hobbled it onto Hamilton's porch and chucked the heavy stone bird bath through his window, shattering it into pieces.
“Jesus Christ, Dad!” yelled Cherry.
Galaxy-Man crawled inside and opened the door. “Welcome!” he yelled to Cherry and Stevie.
Cherry shrugged and walked inside.
Cherry walked upstairs to poop while Galaxy-Man “repaired” the window. He walked into Hamilton's kitchen and got some clear plastic sandwich wrap from the drawer. He placed the wrap over the window with the hope that Hamilton wouldn't be able to tell the difference, though, it was painfully obvious that the window was now made of plastic and not glass. He looked at the questionable job he had done and scratched his head. “Uh, it looked better in my head,” he said to no one in particular. The window looked truly terrible and could be clearly seen even from the street.
After a generous 15 minutes' stool, Cherry finally came back down. She saw the horrendous repair work Galaxy-Man had done. “Nice patch job,” she said sarcastically.
With catnip in her mouth, Stevie shredded a newspaper on the floor and slept on her back. She was on quite the 'nip trip.
“Shut up, he won't even notice,” assure Galaxy-Man.
Cherry walked into the kitchen. “Whatever, I'm freakin' hungry, man. What kinda munchies does Hamilton have stashed away?”
Cherry went looking through Hamilton's cabinet for food while Galaxy-Man got out a frying pan to make eggs. “It's either gonna be an omelette or scrambled eggs,” said Galaxy-Man. “Either one's fine.”
Cherry opened a fresh box of granola bars. “Why does Hamilton have brown eggs?” she asked.
“'cause he thinks he's better than everyone else.”
“Dad, does Hamilton even have a job? How does he buy food and stuff?”
Galaxy-Man grabbed six eggs from the fridge. “He makes money off all the wheat he owns. I gave him most of the sharecrops and the money I inherited. I made him a billionaire.”
“That fool's a goddang billionaire!?”
“With a B.”
“Then why does he have a standard def TV?”
Galaxy-Man made a few mistakes and his omelette became scrambled eggs. “The goody two-shoes gives most of his money to charity. Hey, pass me some picante. I'm feelin' a little dangerous today.”
Cherry hopped down from the counter and walked over to the fridge. “So just how much did you give him?”
Galaxy-Man dashed some salt and pepper into his eggs. “A lot. Let's leave it at that. That's sorta why he puts up with so much crap from me.”
Cherry tossed Galaxy-Man the sauce. “Oh, because he can never repay the kindness you did him.”
“He makes millions every single day, but barely keeps any for himself.”
The two sat down at the table and ate eggs. They were a little on the extra-spicy side, but pretty good.
After they finished eating, they moseyed over to JupiterRay's house to ask about the dongle. They had nothing better to do that day. They walked up to the door and Galaxy-Man knocked gently, as he always did. Cherry then banged on the door like it made fun of her hair or something. JupiterRay answered the door quick, fast and in a hurry. He thought it must've been an emergency.
“Dang it, Cherry,” said Galaxy-Man. “Why you gotta bust my chops all the time?”
“Galaxy-Man,” said JupiterRay, “is everything okay?”
“Yeah, yeah,” said Galaxy-Man, “my hand slipped I guess.” He gave Cherry a nasty look when he said this.
“Come in,” said JupiterRay. “My dad was just baking brownies.”
“Awesome, I want brownies!” said Cherry very eagerly.
They walked in and JupiterRay led them over to the couch. He brushed a stack of old magazines into the floor so they'd have room to sit. “So what do I owe the pleasure?” he asked politely.
“Well,” replied Galaxy-Man, “believe it or not, we found one of the dongles you predicted.”
“Really?” asked JupiterRay as he tugged his beard. “That's excellent. Hey Dad, come in here a sec!”
“We plugged it into the Power Glove but it ain't do nothin',” said Cherry.
“We were hoping you could help us out a bit,” added Galaxy-Man.
“Certainly,” said JupiterRay. “I'd be glad to- Dad!!”
“So how's Mr. Jesseks doing today?” asked Galaxy-Man.
“He's doing fine... if he'd just- Dad, take out the earbuds, and put them away! Jim Croce can wait!”
Galaxy-Man and Cherry were just waiting to hear him use some made up-word to describe his father.
“I'm sorry, guys,” said Jupiter Ray. “My dad's being a real junkwagon.”
Cherry fought back the giggles, but Galaxy-Man kept his composure alright.
JupiterRay walked into the kitchen, presumably to help his father out with the brownies. Galaxy-Man and Cherry were left alone in the living room.
“Hey, Dad,” whispered Cherry with a smile, “you're a junkwagon.”
“You're a junkwagon,” whispered Galaxy-Man loudly, fighting back the laughter.
Cherry started shushing him as JupiterRay walked back into the living room holding a plate a brownies.
“They're a little hot,” he said.
“Doesn't Mr. Jesseks want some?” asked Galaxy-Man.
“No, he's on some weird diet,” said JupiterRay. “He's trying to watch his calorie intake... even though he was eating pudding at 2:00 A.M. last night!!” he said with a loud inflection so that his father could hear him.
Cherry and Galaxy-Man each had two brownies and then it was off to JupiterRay's lair. He examined the dongle intensely. He ran tests and crunched numbers and a whole bunch of other stuff that didn't seem to make any sense to Galaxy-Man and Cherry. JupiterRay said nothing at all for almost 20 minutes while he ran his tests. Galaxy-Man and Cherry were left in suspense.
“Well,” said JupiterRay, finally breaking his long silence, “the dongle appears to be in working order, but it seems as though it's somehow being blocked from carrying out its operations by some wicked encryption, like it needs some sort of key to operate.”
“What? Lemme see that,” said Galaxy-Man as he snatched the glove and put it on. “Maybe it's motion-activated or somethin'.”
“No, Dad, you don't have enough fingers,” said Cherry. She was of course referring to the fact that her father was missing his index finger.
When he put on the glove, it appeared to activate. It began to glow brilliant orange and it emitted pulses of invisible energy that warped the light around it like a shock wave.
“Dude,” said Cherry in awe.
“Amazing,” said JupiterRay. “Is this the first time you've worn the glove?”
“This is my first time even touching it,” answered Galaxy-Man. “It came from a toilet.”
“You, uh, didn't tell me that,” said JupiterRay. He was a little grossed out. “Anyways, I believe we should go into the backyard and conduct a few experiments. Don't a move a finger until we head outside. We still don't know what this thing is capable of.”
They walked into the backyard. It was a well-kept yard. It was fenced in and the grass was green and short. Galaxy-Man made sure not to move his hand at all as he walked into the center of the backyard.
“Okay,” said JupiterRay, “try plugging in the dongle.”
“Yep yep,” said Galaxy-Man. He plugged in the dongle and his body began to glow violet. “Well this is interesting.” Bands of energy began to wrap around his legs.
“How do you feel?” asked JupiterRay.
Galaxy-Man balanced on one leg. “I feel like a frog. This is so weird. I feel like I could leap over a building or something.” He began hopping around a little.
“Incredible,” said JupiterRay. “Perhaps the glove has somehow granted you superhuman jumping.”
Galaxy-Man hopped 2 ft into the air, then 4 ft, then 7 ft..
“Careful, Galaxy-Man,” said JupiterRay, “we still don't know how safe the glove is.”
“Whoa, do a flip,” said Cherry.
“Okay!” shouted Galaxy-Man. He then jumped an astounding 75 ft into the air by accident and lost control. “Oh God no!!!” he shouted as he hurdled to the ground at an high speed. He landed hard in a shallow duck pond next door. While no ducks were harmed, Galaxy-Man sprained his ankle something fierce. He started sobbing. He took off the Power Glove and threw it on the ground. “I don't wanna play this game anymore!!” he cried loudly. It could've been a lot worse. He could've seriously injured himself falling from such a ridiculous height.
Cherry and JuptiterRay rushed over to the pond.
“Dad, are you okay!?” cried Cherry. She was genuinely afraid her dad was hurt. “Please be okay!”
Galaxy-Man held his ankle in pain. “What good is having superhuman jumping if you just break your legs when you land? I don't feel like anybody learned anything in this chapter.”
The Power Glove was certainly a strange thing. Who build it? What was it made to do? What other abilities could more dongles unlock? Find out next week on the next exciting episode of The Amazing Galaxy-Man!