Chapter 25
Sitting in the floor waiting in line for the dreaded endurance test, Galaxy-Man and Cherry spotted none other than Broady Harden, in all his bulky awkwardness.
Broady waved hello and walked over. “What are you doing here?” asked Broady as he knelt down.
“I'm gonna fight in the tournament,” said Galaxy-Man. “Did I not mention that?”
Broady laughed. “No.”
“I thought you didn't want to fight,” said Galaxy-Man.
“I'll get grounded if I don't fight.”
“Do your parents lock you in a dungeon when you misbehave or something?” asked Cherry.
“Seriously, bro,” added Galaxy-Man, “just kill 'em with an ax or something. Split their fat heads in two and drink their delicious blood like a fresh coconut.”
“I'm serious. I don't know what to do. I can't forfeit or they'll find out and I'll get grounded for sure.”
“Your boot's untied,” pointed out Galaxy-Man.
Broady got down on one knee to tie his boot. “I just don't know what to do.”
Galaxy-Man yawned and stretched. “How are you gonna fight if you have a concussion?”
Broady looked up and gave Galaxy-Man an expression of confusion. “But I don't have a-” but he was interrupted when Galaxy-Man kicked him in the head as hard as he could.
“Jesus Christ, dude!” yelled Cherry.
Galaxy-Man kicked him with his steel-toed, leather boot as hard as he possibly could, right in the face, instantly knocking him unconscious. Galaxy-Man wiped the blood from his boot and called for help. “We got a bleeder!” he yelled.
Though it was partly about him getting his revenge, Galaxy-Man may have just saved Broady's life by kicking him in the head. There was no way they'd let him fight now, he being unconscious and all. Sometime's people just need a push, or in this case, a kick.
“Why did you do that?” asked Cherry.
“It doesn't matter,” replied Galaxy-Man.
Men then came in a carried Broady away. Galaxy-Man kicked him pretty hard, maybe a little too hard. If he couldn't even take a kick from someone like Galaxy-Man, he had no business in such a tournament.
The time had finally come, it was Galaxy-Man's turn to take the test.
“I know you're scared, Dad,” said Cherry, “but just remember that you're not here to fight, okay? You're here to get the dongle and get out. This'll be the hardest part, then no one has to get hurt. This is gonna work, 'kay?”
“'Kay,” said Galaxy-Man as he walked up to the vat.
“I believe in you.”
Galaxy-Man stopped and turned around. “What did you say?”
“I said I believe in you.” Her words resonated with him and really meant a lot.
“Next!” yelled a man holding a stopwatch standing next to the vat.
Galaxy-Man smiled confidently. “Watch this,” he said as he winked at Cherry, not that she could see him wink. He walked to the vat, ready to hold his breath.
The man gave Galaxy-Man a clipboard. “Sign your name here and check the boxes.” It was fairly standard form, though, Galaxy-Man didn't bother reading it thoroughly. “Clock starts after your head goes down and your arms come up,” said the man. “Head down, arms up. Got it!?”
“Oh my. Don't you wanna buy me dinner first?”
“I'm getting sick of this crap. Just take your dumb shades and dumb headband off and dunk your dumb head in the gas.”
“The shades stay on,” said Galaxy-Man as he took off his headband.
“How do I know that's not a breathing apparatus of some kind? Take 'em off.”
“On my eyes? Alright, fine.” Galaxy-Man put his hand over his eyes and carefully removed his shades for the first time in a long time. Cherry was standing behind and didn't catch a good glimpse of his eyes. She wouldn't have been able to see them anyway as he kept them closed. With his head free of accessories for the first time in who knows how long, he stuck in his head to hold his breath.
It's harder to hold your breath in gasoline than in water. In addition to not being able to breathe, which is a pretty stressful prospect by itself, your eyes, nose and mouth burn terribly. After a few minutes of being submerged, even your skin begins to itch and burn. Galaxy-Mans lips swelled, his face beat red along with his eyes, but he couldn't stop; he had to endure; he had to be strong. It was truly an unbearable agony that no one should have to experience, but he pressed on; persevered. He did this not so much for himself, but for Cherry, who believed in him, and looked up to him. Galaxy-Man finally shocked the world. He held his breath longer than anyone there. In total, he held his breath for 20 minutes and 12 seconds. In his time under he said tongue twisters in his head to keep his mind busy. The sixth sick shiek's sixth sheep's sick. Susie works in a shoeshine shop. Where she shines she sits, and where she sits she shines. and she slit the sheet, the sheet she slit, and upon the slitted sheet she sits. He was so busy that he didn't think of anything else. His mind was completely at ease and calm. His heart rate dropped, and his blood vessels contracted thereby conserving oxygen-rich blood by redirecting it from the extremities to his vital organs. For that one moment, he became the world's greatest free diver and sustained no lasting damage despite his incredibly long time under. Maybe it was something special about his biology that allowed him to go so long, but he stayed under so long that he was forced to emerge for fear that he would die.
He lifted his head out of the vat, coughing and gasping for sweet, sweet air. He kept his eyes covered until he was handed his shades. He then put them on and spoke extremely fast. “Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers! A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked! If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where’s the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked!?”
A man with a numbering machine walked over and took Galaxy-Man's left hand. He gave a stamp to his wrist in red ink with a four digit PIN on it.
Cherry ran over and gave him a big hug. She was crying. “Dad, you were under for so long and they wouldn't let me pull you up! I was so scared!”
“How long was I under?” asked Galaxy-Man between coughs. He and Cherry walked over to a water fountain so he could wash his eyes. “Musta been like four, maybe six minutes, right?”
“It was 20 minutes, Dad. That Fu guy came in second with 9 minutes. That's less than half your record.”
“What!? Why the hell didn't anyone bring me up? I coulda died or somethin'. Can you turn away a second while I wash my eyes?”
Cherry turned away while Galaxy-Man rinsed his burning eyes. “People were taking bets to see if you made it to 20. I tried to stop them. It was so horrible.”
“Well, guess where the past is, man. You do what you can with what you get.”
Fu then walked over. “Twenty minutes, that's very impressive,” he said. You're much tougher than I anticipated.”
“Yeah, bitch, I'm the best there ever was. Now get lost, loser.”
Fu laughed. He had a new-found respect for Galaxy-Man and gave a small bow. “It's an honor to have such an interesting opponent. I fear that whatever inane fighting style you may have might catch me off guard.”
“Yeah, well get your expectations way high because the pain shall be brung.”
“I'm pretty sure that's not a word, Dad,” said Cherry. “And why are you boasting so much? You're not even here to fight.”
“Come again?” asked Fu.
“Don't listen to her,” said Galaxy-Man. “Oh I'll fight you alright. I'll fight you in the butt!” Galaxy-Man felt a bit embarrassed at what he said. “I mean, I'm- I'm gonna kick your butt. That's what- Shut up!”
“What do you mean 'don't listen to her'?” asked Cherry. “Dad, you have no chance of winning.”
“Well which is it, Cherry!? Do you believe in me, or don't you!?”
“Dad.”
“Let me guess,” said Fu, “you came here to steal my necklace, huh? Tell you what, if you best me in a fight, my necklace is yours to keep.”
“Look,” said Cherry, “he'll throw the damn fight if you just give us the dongle. You get a free victory and no one has to get hurt.”
“Forfeiting is not very wise,” said Fu. “If I don't fight you, the gamemasters sure will. People pay good money to watch us fight, not grovel and call for a truce.”
All the fighters began walking out of the room.
“Where are we going now?” asked Galaxy-Man.
“To a zeppelin hangar to set up camp,” said Fu. “You're gonna need all the rest you can get.” Fu then walked into the crowd.
“Dad,” said Cherry, about to say something else.
“Look, Cher,” said Galaxy-Man, “I'm sorry I snapped at you again. I just realized how stupid I've been. It's just- I wish people would have a little more faith in me sometimes. I don't suck that bad.”
“It's okay, Dad. I get that you have to fight now, but I want you to promise me something.”
“What's that?”
“If you get the dongle, you don't need to go any further. I know you feel like you have to prove yourself or something I guess, but just remember that you never have to prove anything to me.”
“I promise. Once I win- If I win, I'll retire from the game forever.” The room was then almost empty. “Well, we don't wanna get left behind. Let's mosey.”
They then left the hall and walked into a massive hangar. In the hanger were armed guards to make sure no one left. The room was uninsulated and very cold. All the other fighters began setting up blankets and tents and some even started fires to keep warm. Galaxy-Man and Cherry of course brought no such blankets and were already beginning to shiver. Thankfully Galaxy-Man always wore thermal underwear with his usual getup, but Cherry had only a T-shirt to keep her warm. After filling out a short form, it off to find a place to set up camp.
“Jesus,” chattered Cherry. “It's as cold as a witch's nipples in a brass bra.”
“Why you gotta work so blue, Cherry?” Can't you just be nine years old for a little while?”
“You're the guy who raised me, dude.”
“Whatever, let's see if we can bum some blankets and stuff.”
They went from fighter to fighter, but no one was willing to part with their bedding. They then found Fu and thought they'd ask him, but he didn't have any blankets at all. All he had was basic mat to sleep on. Fu was very disciplined and resilient.
“No blankets, huh?” asked Cherry.
“Blankets don't do much for somebody covered in fur,” replied Fu.
“Guess your fur traps all the heat in, huh,” added Galaxy-Man.
“It's so cold in here and no one will help us,” said Cherry.
“Why should they?” asked Fu. “These people aren't your friends and they'll do anything to leave you at a disadvantage.”
“But I'm not even here to fight, man. I'm just a kid, dude.”
“Well they don't know that. You'll have to wait until block sign-ups tomorrow morning before they let anyone leave I'm afraid.”
“So after that I can leave the building and go see Cutty?” asked Galaxy-Man.
“I'll assume that's the woman you were with when you destroyed my ship. I'm afraid the answer is no. After sign-ups they'll inject microcomputers into your bloodstream that monitor your whereabouts at all times. If you try to leave, they'll catch you. You're daughter on the other hand will be free to come and go as she pleases, though, she won't be allowed in the hangar after tomorrow.”
“Cool beans,” said Cherry.
“I suggest you all get some rest. Huddle together. It'll keep you warm.”
Galaxy-Man gave Fu a nod and walked away with Cherry.
“Hey,” said Fu as they walked away. Galaxy-Man and Cherry turned their heads back. “Good luck,” he said sincerely.
“Oh, I don't need luck,” replied Galaxy-Man very confidently, “'cause I got them skills, dawg. You're going down like an altar boy's britches at a catholic priest convention”
“Jesus Christ, Dad,” said Cherry. “And you thought my joke was blue. That was like, as blue as a cloudless sky at sea.”
Fu let out a small chuckle and shook his head. He wasn't laughing at Galaxy-Man's dirty joke, but at his sheer cockiness and overconfidence.
As the two walked away, Galaxy-Man saw something he didn't expect to see, an old adversary of his. Galaxy-Man stopped in his tracks and gave a thousand yard stare.
“What it is Dad? You're not being possessed by Pat Davis again, are you?” Cherry looked over and saw the man he was staring at. He was a man who was built like a tank and hansom to boot. His body appeared to have been chiseled by the Greek gods themselves, and there wasn't a blemish to be found. He wore red spandex that tightly clinged to his muscles as if it were painted on, and like Galaxy-Man, he had a long cape. He also had bushy black hair like Galaxy-Man. He was almost like a more hansom version of Galaxy-Man in terms of appearance.
“Spaceman,” Galaxy-Man muttered under his breath with a shutter running through his body.
The man stepped over to Galaxy-Man. “Long time no see, Galaxy-Moron.”
“That wasn't even clever, man. Go eat a fart, 'cause you are a fart, and I hate you.”
“Good comeback, Dad.”
“I heard about your breath score,” Spaceman continued. “You won 'cause you're so full of hot air.”
Spaceman was someone Galaxy-Man had known all his life, and they always fought. Spaceman seemed to be good at everything he did. He had a perfect body, a ton of money, endless talents, but the one thing he lacked was a likable personality. He was a complete jerk at all times, and not very smart either. Galaxy-Man hated Spaceman with a fiery passion because he was always outdoing him in something or other. If Galaxy-Man has a rival it's Spaceman.
Galaxy-Man started pointing his finger in Spaceman's perfect face. “You ain't nothing but a loser with a gaudy cape. I bet grandma could beat you up, and she's dead!”
“I just want you know that I'm gonna win the entire tournament, so why don't you make like a banana and suck my balls. I'm outta here.” He walked away with an undeserved smirk on his face, thinking he'd said the most clever insult of the century.
Cherry was very confused by all this. “I don't think he knows how bananas work.”
“Whatever, let's go find a place to sit.”
Galaxy-Man and Cherry found a clear spot away from everyone and set up camp. Galaxy-Man used his cape as bedding for the two to lie on. He took off his shirt and gave it to Cherry to keep her warm. It was absolutely freezing in the hanger, quite literally. It was a hanger used to house blimps that would show the results of fights to people outside the arena, and keeping things warm wasn't a top priority. The fighters were kept in here because it made it easy to watch everyone and guard the entrances. Guards armed with swords and laser rifles watched over everyone at all times. It was a rough night and neither Galaxy-Man nor Cherry got much sleep. They huddled together tightly and shivered most of the night. It was until very early in the morning that the two actually fell asleep, but shortly thereafter, they had to wake up and face the day.