Chapter 16
Dramkick spent 2 weeks on vacation and then everyone went to Gadileap to prepare for the trip to Sras Oblique. Dramkick knew that even if he killed Peastro the escape could get bloody. After all Mela had told him in their talks he knew Peastro's people would want his head on a pike. He put all of his efforts into trying to find a safe pathway back to Membra. He thought to himself about a poem he had read with the line, "The gun is yours but the barrel's still owned."
Dramkick and Mela are leisurely going for a walk through the Ohmayo forest-the Ohmayo forest is 2,000 miles long and filled with Paysgoh trees. While Sasiege, Uaty, and Paut get a deep tissue massage.
Paysgoh trees are shaped like crosses and covered in bright blue grass that is soft to the touch. At the base of each is a house that encircles the tree-known as the Nata hut. There are also Nata huts at the intersection of the Paysgoh trees-which are typically 800 yards tall and 50 feet wide.
The Nata huts themselves are tan in color and have 4 oval windows spaced evenly around them. The people who live in Ohmayo forest are known as the Weasta and number in the millions.
The Weasta have the same even brown skin and long flowing blonde hair on both men and women. They are a very muscular people because of their devotion to climbing and digging tunnels. They have an entire city beneath the ground known as Pew Domp and it the stretches for hundreds of miles. The Weasta have also been collecting and hoarding away trillions worth of priceless artifacts and jewels. No one outside of the Weasta knows of their treasures or of Pew Domp (except for the reign family). The Reign family looks in on them occasionally and gives them protection from thieves. They also love water sports and have a large man-made lake beneath the ground that they race small boats on. They use an underwater spring board and see who could launch themselves the farthest underwater. The winner gets to tell wild stories at the head table.
"It's really beautiful here, truly serene," Mela said as she watched a Weasta child doing one handed cartwheels.
"I always loved it here," Dramkick confessed as his toes tapped gently on the ground. "The Weasta are as friendly and caring a people as you'll ever meet. When my father brought me here as a child it thrilled my soul to no end," Dramkick said as he walked beside Mela.
"I can see why the sheer beauty of their craftsmanship is something truly wonderful to behold. Do you think I could go inside one of their homes?" Mela asked curiously as she flashed a goofy grin. She was taken with this place.
"Of course, I'll take you in this home here. It's an old friend of my father's place," Dramkick said joyfully and then he walked up to the P shaped door and knocked as he yelled, "Finby, our whole day needs brightening!"
Out came Finby Toerls with a smile on his face. He is a full foot shorter than Dramkick, but has equally wide (and muscular) shoulders. His long blonde hair is tied into a loose ponytail at the bottom. His face is a study in angles, with extremely high cheekbones and a triangle shaped nose. His eyes are warm and friendly-and they are dark blue in color. He is wearing a white knitted kilt that has all 14 of his children's names stitched onto it. He also has on sandals with built-in socks. Around his neck is a gold necklace with several square emeralds attached to it. He has on a black wristband with his wife's name on it-her spiritual name is Flassa.
"My floor needs fixing," Finby said quickly as he opened the door and smiled wide at Dramkick and Mela.
"You kiddin me I thought I already fixed that floor," Dramkick replied sarcastically as he fixed his pants. "You, and Flassa workin on another kid?" Dramkick asked sarcastically as he grabbed Finby shoulders and shook them.
"We’re always working on another, sometimes 3 or 4 times daily," Finby said jokingly as he started to laugh.
Dramkick laughed and then asked, "Well there are worse ways to spend your time. When do you think you'll get around to inviting us in?"
"As soon as I find out who this beautiful woman is at your side. I would hate for any enemy spies to cross my doorstep," Finby said sarcastically as he looked at Mela with an unending warmth in his eyes.
Mela smiled and said sarcastically, "Alright, you caught me, I'm here to steal your lovemaking secrets. Word is out about you, Finby," Mela joked and then she flashed a brilliant smile and said, "My name is Mela and it is an absolute pleasure to meet you. I would be honored if you allowed us to see your fine home."
"Mela, how beautiful what a name," Finby perked up nearly jumping out of his shoes. "You are more than welcome to share my home and meet my family, please follow me," Finby said as he smiled and nodded his head. He quickly turned and went into his home with Dramkick and Mela close behind.
As you walk into Finby’s home there are several family photos hanging prominently on the wall directly in front of you. It shows them doing a group kiss on a beach and wearing beaded hats and swimsuits. Below the photo, on the red rug, are a dozen Bushpa dolls.
Bushpa dolls are hand stitched dolls that have bulbous elderly heads and young fit bodies. The faces of each have a crazy smile and wild staring eyes. They also have on fur coats and tan furry trousers. If you were to squeeze them they would say, "Love me quick before I pass," and release a beautiful scent. The dolls were made personally by Dr. Hoyadoi Wee-a renowned master surgeon. Dr. Wee made the dolls as a hobby and used them in his clinic for years before he ever thought of selling them. Dr. Wee fashioned the dolls after his great grandparents and created them from scratch.
To the left of Finby's photo gallery there is a small fitness area with: a punching dummy, a duel resistance treadmill, and 4 mats for advanced Weasta martial arts. There is also a bench that runs along the wall and has 2 sides-one facing inward and another facing out the large oval window. There is also a Bustip dispenser on the right wall.
Bustip soda is similar to Dr. Pepper, but has 3 times as many flavors in it. It is beloved by the Weasta and many of them have their own dispensers.
To the right of you is the pantry and it has 7 different carports filled with: snacks, cereals, and canned goods. It has a black and red circular rug in the center with a circular table on top of it-with 5 cushioned orange wooden chairs around it. In between the cupboards the walls are filled with awards and artwork that the Finby children won.
Dramkick saw the fitness room and said gleefully, "It's good to see you've kept up your workouts. I would have thought your 10 children would have made that very difficult."
"10! I wish it was 10 we've got 16 now," Finby answered honestly as he fussed with a hat that was hanging from a painting on the wall. "It's too bad you came today the young ones are at their grandmother's. My 2 oldest are here though and they'll love meeting you, Mela," Finby said as he walked through the fitness room and into the living room.
"I can't wait to meet them it will be a great treat for sure," Mela said warmly as she stepped over the treadmill.
The living room is filled almost entirely with 4 large brown couches and two giant 10 foot tall television screens. The couches line opposite walls and there is a TV at either end. In between the couches there is barely enough room to walk. The wall on the left has the words, "To belie the worriless day," spelled out in vibrant colored beads. The opposite wall has a giant mural of the Tornbread diamond mines painted on it.
The Tornbread mine is an enormous and unheard of diamond find that was so large it made the value of diamonds drop to almost nothing. It forced jewelers around the world to abandon the sale of diamonds and become precious metals salesmen. Before that happened, the Cumpa family-the owners of the mine-became the wealthiest people in the world. This allowed them to buy up huge chunks of choice property and hoard it all to themselves. They became a slang word for greed, "Don't Cumpa the chips," was heard on the sitcom Try Sameness and sparked a phenomenon.
"Flassa, we have visitors, it's Dramkick!" Finby yelled as he walked into the living room.
"I'll be right there I'm fixing a nice lunch," Flassa answered and then she sang a few notes and she continued, "Its homemade pizza and its almost ready, just have a seat." She checked the oven and reapplied the cinnamon butter sauce to the golden brown crust.
"Okay!" Finby shouted and then said, "Please make yourself at home. She will only be a minute."
"I don't think I can wait. I think I need her here right now or it could go bad," Dramkick said sarcastically as he sat down on the nearest couch. He always felt a certain relaxation of sitting in a lived in home.
Mela and Finby sat down as well and then in walked Flassa. She is 5'4" tall and very womanly. She enjoys being a mother more than anything else and it shows. Her curly blonde hair and tan skin show she must've been a looker at one point. Her eyes are bright green and always made you smile. She has on a white T-shirt with the word “Tepit” written in the center. She also has on light blue colored jeans and white sandals that expose her bare feet. The necklace around her neck has all of her children's names engraved on it. She looks flush with humanity.
"Oh really how bad is it gonna get?" Flassa asked sarcastically as she walked over to Finby and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
"We’ll never know now, let's just be thankful the winds have blown you here," Dramkick joked as he inspected a blue and red trinket on the table. "Hi, Flassa, you really look beautiful today. How have you been?" Dramkick asked warmly as he flashed a devious smile.
"Busy, just had our 16th child 2 months ago, little Bimby," Flassa replied excitedly as she wiped the sweat from her forehead with the back of her hand. "She is a terror I must tell you and keeps her parents on their toes constantly. How things been with you and who is your new friend?" Flassa asked as she looked around for her wineglass.
"This is Mela and she is from Sras Oblique. And I just got back from vacation and I am in my best spirits," Dramkick said as he calmly pulled out 4 Praem tubes and continued, "And these are for you, please enjoy."
Finby took the Praem tubes and said quickly, "Thank you so much, Dramkick, you are great friend." Finby felt the same nervousness as you would if you had just won a big pot on a bluff. He grabbed the Praem too quick, Dramkick thought.
"Really, Dramkick, we appreciate it," Flassa said warmly as she grinned at Dramkick and batted her eyes. "And it is truly great to meet you, Mela. Sras Oblique, I've never heard of that is it far from here?" Flassa asked as Finby handed her a Praem tube and she quickly started ingesting the Praem.
"About a year's journey," Mela said before she stopped quickly as she heard someone coming up behind. Startled, she fumbled for a weapon.
It was Tomyte-Finby's eldest son-and he came into the room short of breath.
Tomyte is a dead ringer for his father, but just a hair taller. His long blonde hair seems very womanly. He is fit like his father with a tiny waist. He has on a black T-shirt, white jeans, and a pair of black Nervetell sneakers.
Nervetell was created by Bovate Tin-a Vexidian aristocrat who used the last of his inheritance to start his own shoe company. The move eventually made him wealthy beyond his wildest dreams.
"It's Salstock, he burnt the Canfe white!" Tomyte said boldly as he walked past Mela and Dramkick.
"What? What is he doing he'll doom us all!" Finby said nervously as he started to sweat profusely.
"What's the trouble, can we help?" Dramkick asked as he rose from his seat and stretched his back. He was in the mood for a good dustup.
"I'm not sure, my idiot brother Salstock has burned through the last of the Canfe. That is the fuel for our security door that protects Pew Domp and all of our riches," Finby explained his hand nearly shaking loose from his wrist. "We would need your incredible strength to help us push the emergency door shut, before anyone gets wise to what's happened. Can you do it?" Finby asked anxiously as he felt a panic attack rising in his mind. Should I have asked Dramkick that, Finby wondered.
"Not can, will let's go!" Dramkick said forcefully as his eyes shifted and his adrenaline pumped. His entire body language changed when he was angry and everyone could feel it.
Finby pushed down on the armrest of the couch and the couch sprang open sending a rubber clown into the air. He pulled on a black lever and a passageway opened up behind the TV.
"Follow me, please hurry," Finby begged as he ran into the passageway and down a spiral hallway into the ground.
Dramkick, Mela, Tomyte, and Flassa were quick behind him. Flassa had worry all over her face and all over her thoughts. What terrible things could happen next, she wondered. The passageway went deep into the ground and opened up into a large cave. There is a 500 foot high steel safe at the far end and the door to the safe is slightly ajar-the vast riches could be seen shimmering in the light. There is everything from gold to silver, paintings, and ancient artifacts all hidden inside the safe. The Weasta's whole existence was in that safe and they knew it.
The safe itself is royal red in color and has 2 large statues on either side-there are of the Weasta Gods Akfoid and Doorpeck. Akfoid's statue depicts him flexing his muscles as he represents the strength of the Weasta. Akfoid has the head of a Whyzi and the body of a human. Doorpeck's face is like a Weasta with chiseled features and long blonde hair. He is wearing a kilt and sandals while holding a pair of moons in each hand.
The cave is filled with dozens of Weastas who are frantically trying to get the safe door closed. Dramkick sees this and his legs run like a perfect athletic machine. As he runs 2 dozen thieves come flooding in through a secret tunnel with guns blazing.
"Mela, go back upstairs I'll take care of this!" Dramkick ordered and then he raced full out towards the thieves.
Mela watched Dramkick run at them and felt an equal courage. Dramkick’s powerful legs were terror inducing with every stride. Mela stood there watching him in disbelief and wonder. How does he exist she wondered aloud. A second later she and Flassa raced towards the passageway.
Finby hurried over to the weapons cash on the right wall and grabbed 2 Paniflus (throwing one awkwardly to Dramkick). Dramkick shot two of the thieves, one in the head and one in the shoulder as he shouted, "No one gets out alive! Finby, look out behind you!"
Finby turned to see a thief about to slice him open like a watermelon. He shot him in the throat with the Paniflu and nearly threw up in the process. Dramkick kicked right through one thief's chest sending a mass of organs and blood onto the floor.
A different thief jumped on Dramkick's back and started choking him. Mela and Flassa grabbed 2 Paniflus and took dead aim at Dramkick's attacker. They fired and hit him in the small this back. The thief fell to the ground, wincing in pain and Dramkick spun around to see Mela holding a Paniflu with a smoking barrel. He mouthed the words, "Thank you," then kicked the thief's head off like a soccer ball.
Mela and Flassa saw this and watched the head roll by and Mela yelled, "He's a sweetheart, trust me!"
While this was happening Finby was locked in a hand-to-hand struggle with one of the thieves. The man pinned him down and pressed his forearm hard on Finby's throat. Finby tried to gouge his eyes out, but couldn't reach them. He kicked the thief in the balls as hard as he could. This loosened his grasp just long enough for Finby to get a breath and reach for his Paniflu. He grabbed it, but the thief grabbed his wrist as he did and the 2 struggled for the weapon. The thief ripped it out of his hands and was about to kill him, when Flassa raised her weapon and blew a tennis ball sized hole in his head.
"I got your back and your front, here take this," Flassa said smoothly as she picked up the Paniflu and handed it to Finby.
"Boy do I love this woman, God keep her safe," Finby said as he looked skyward. He gave Flassa a quick kiss and started firing at the thieves with a new enthusiasm.
Dramkick ran, jumped, and shot 2 thieves as he flew over their heads. He landed feet first on the head of another next to the safe door. Inside the safe there were already 3 thieves filling their pockets with gold coins and platinum star shaped blocks. Dramkick saw them and instead of shooting them he grabbed hold of the giant safe door. He used all of his muscularity to get the door to move. Finby, Flassa, Mela and a dozen Weasta were keeping the rest of the thieves at bay.
"This is fun!" Finby yelled as his enthusiasm got the best of him.
Dramkick used all his massive strength to gradually move the door as sweat muddied up his eyes. He let out a loud grunt as he threw the safe door the last few feet. The large door locked shut with the 3 thieves locked inside. The other thieves saw this and decided to make a break for it (leaving their friends behind forever).
The Weasta let out a cheer and waved their weapons in the air triumphantly. Finby walked over to Dramkick and patted on the shoulder and said, "You saved us, Dramkick, we will forever be grateful."
"Think nothing of gratitude, you are my friend," Dramkick answered as he gave Finby a fatherly nod. Dramkick looked it Mela and said, "I can’t help it, I lead an exciting life."
"Trust me being Coup's wife, I'm used to it," Mela replied with a smirk.