Chapter 19
After a night of gambling, dining, and several bottles of wine everyone went on a shopping trip to get: supplies, habits, and goodies with Dramkick's newly won fortune. They left Elonex and set off again into the blackness of space newly rested.
To get to Sras Oblique in the shortest time the Debrist Morou (and its accompanying fleet) would have to travel through the Ormack galaxy. The Ormack is ruled over by a vicious tyrant known as Runlad Dauntis Koe the 10th.
Runlad is a Teopay and has traditional black quartz like skin and white hair. He keeps his hair exactly 1 inch and a half long and never longer or shorter. He has a widow’s peak with 3 peaks and a hairline that reaches down his bulbous forehead. He is clean shaven, but has a series of small tattoos that look similar to a goatee.
His dark green double eye balls (one being larger than the one beneath) each work in conjunction. He is 4 1/2 feet wide and 6'3" tall. His muscular stomach and frame protrude from all clothing noticeably. He wears the same black and grey leather robes-that he has worn all of his life-every single day. He took over the Ormack galaxy and its largest planet in a fixed hand to hand sword fight. Then ruler Cornbre Gode's blade inexplicably broke while they were fighting, giving Runlad the ability to strike the deathblow.
"What galaxy is this?" Dramkick asked as he sat in the Capt.'s chair eating a purple apple known as a Hesut.
"It's the Ormack, Quadromolan," Gigg said quickly as he looked at Dramkick for only a moment.
"You need to be careful through here, this is Runlad's territory," Mela said as she sat down the chair next to Dramkick.
"I’ve never heard that name, Runlad. Why should I be careful men are but flesh?" Dramkick asked as he chewed his Hesut.
"Well, you would think that, but Runlad is a Teopay and they don't exactly have flesh…it's really more stone than anything," Mela explained as she rubbed her temples in a circle. "We had a run in with them many years ago and it nearly toppled us. It'd be best to just pay their tariffs and go on with our voyage happily," Mela suggested as she looked at Dramkick like all the butter was gone.
"Tariff!" Dramkick barked to the extent it echoed off the walls.
"Uhh," Mela said as she rolled her eyes and then continued, "Dramkick don't do it." This reminded Mela of Coup's stubborn side.
"I will pay no tariff," Dramkick declared sternly as he tapped his fingers on the chair at an incredible rate of speed. "If they think they can force me to do such a thing, then maybe my Vor Me soldiers and my battleships need a Good practice battle. Tariff, let's see them collect it," Dramkick said snidely as he crushed his Hesut.
"Fine, thank Builder you brought an army," Mela said with a long drawn out sigh.
"Yes…wait what is this Builder?" Dramkick asked as he stopped chewing. He wondered if it was another ridiculous theory of the underworld. These often found him laughing.
"Builder is our term for God," Mela answered in a soft determined voice. "We call him such because he drew out every aspect of the universe from planets to people. This before he ever created a grain of sand or child's laugh. The way a builder of a home would have. It's a celestial blueprint so to speak," Mela explained as she pulled out a pack of Tut cigarettes and lit one up.
"That's fascinating what a wonderful logic…so pure," Dramkick said as he eased his waist upward. He was thinking of Peastro now and what a loss it was. "I believe something very similar to what you just said. And yet we are from entirely different civilizations. There is a beauty in this I assure you," Dramkick spoke now in a voice close to his most honest. He was never truly honest, but sometimes he came close. "What is that beautiful aroma? Those aren't government cigarettes for certain," Dramkick said as he grinned like the devil at Mela.
Mela smirked and said slyly, "I was saving 2 packs of Tut cigarettes from my home world for the trip back. Would you like to try one?"
"I'll need too if you don't mind?"
"Of course, but bear in mind I only have the 2 packs. Here ya go," said Mela as she handed him 2 cigarettes.
Dramkick lit one up, exhaled, and said, "Now that's flavor so rich and smooth. Well I'm glad I asked for 2. I guess because of the short supply I'll just have to savor these 2"
"Were being hailed, Quadromolan, should I put them on the monitor?" Gigg asked and he waited as was his protocol.
Dramkick exhaled, stood up, and walked up next to Gigg and said, "O.K. then let's have it."
Gigg pressed the message link and a fat angry looking Teopay in a red leather robe and sunglasses named Topy appeared on the monitor. Topy said sternly, "You are in the galaxy presided over by Runlad Dauntis Koe the 10th. If you wish to pass through you will pay a 2 ton payment of gold. If you do not wish to pay, turn around and go back or face the consequences."
"What consequences are those?" Dramkick asked smoothly as he smoked his Tut cigarette.
Topy frowned and said calmly, "You will be annihilated right down to your last ship and soul."
"Well, at least you're reasonable," Dramkick shuffled his feet and stuck out his tongue at Topy. "Can you give me a moment to think it over?" Dramkick asked as he continued to smoke and dance a few steps. He knew overconfidence meant abundant fear and weakness. He was going to love this one and he knew it.
Topy thought for a moment and then said, "Fine, but only for a moment."
Topy disappeared from the monitor and Dramkick said sternly, "Alright, Gigg, send out the 30 second readiness command and take dead aim on this fool's ship. I'm going to talk to him for 30 seconds while the fleet prepares. Then when I say the words, you know your face looks a little like my driveway, you blow, that idiot, to pieces. Got it?"
"Affirmative, I am ready, Quadromolan," Gigg answered boldly as he sent out the order and locked the cannons on the Teopay ship.
Gigg hailed the Teopay's ship and Topy appeared on the monitor and said sternly, "What have you decided and make it quick, my life is more valuable than your breaths?"
"Well, I had a question about the gold," Dramkick said hollowly as he feigned real concern. "Ya see we've got the amount you asked for, but most of it is in jewelry. Would it be alright if we sent over 2 tons of gold jewelry? Trust me, it will ya know," Dramkick asked as he smiled and did the awe shucks routine. Then his face went black with anger and he said snidely, "Ya know your face looks like my driveway."
Topy was instantly offended and was about to shout something when Gigg fired upon his ship. It blew a shattering metal scar right through their shields and into their cockpit. Dramkick watched and laughed as they were one by one sucked out into space by the gaping hole. He tapped Gigg on the shoulder and said gleefully, "Hit 'em again, this time finish them off proper!"
Gigg fired all the fleet's cannons 4 times and the Teopay ship shattered into a million pieces. Dramkick felt a giant rush seeing the Teopay ship destroyed, but it was short lived when he saw 2 dozen similar ships coming his way.
The Teopay are all the same size and shape and are known as Cront fighters. They are seal black and have hundreds of jagged edges and angles everywhere you looked. They are roughly the same size as the Talz battleships. Dramkick took note of this. They have T shaped barrels on each of their guns. And they also have Teopay soldiers affixed in small cockpits on the top of each weapon-they would swivel with the weapon as they aimed. The Bettebudy bombs they use are a type of black goo encased in a blue orb. And when it hit its target it corrodes the enemy’s vessel at incredible speed. On top of each vessel there is a globe of 250 missiles-they would deploy simultaneously for maximum destruction and are deadly accurate.
The only ship in the fleet that is different from the Cront is Runlad's Mercim battleship. It is the equivalent of a flying fortress and is 4 times as large as the Debrist Morou. It has a ¼ mile long super cannon that pushes the Mercim back as it fires-and could take out anything in its path with its abundance of ammunition. The sides of the Mercim are filled with laser cannons-over 200,000 of them with each always manned by a Teopay soldier.
"This should be fun, great, Dramkick, great," Mela said as she shook her head in disbelief. She loved war but would only admit it to Coup.
"Fear not, Mela, I was born on the battlefield and have no plans to die there," Dramkick's adrenaline levels were peeking now and his mind was on fire. "We will be victorious for we know no different," Dramkick said sternly and then he lit up his other Tut cigarette.
"I believe you, I've seen Coup in more battles than I can remember," Mela said with a certain glee in her eye that Dramkick knew too well. "I have no doubt you can and will win. And because I'm am so sure, I want you to have these," Mela said as she handed him her pack of Tut cigarettes.
Dramkick took the pack of cigarettes and said boldly, "Darling Mela, Coup is a lucky man. O.K. then, Gigg, have my assistants send up some Kamast cookies. This could be a lengthy battle. Let's use a combined fleet strike and fire everything we've got in unison. Let's see how they respond, Send out the orders, Gigg."
"It's done, Quadromolan, they will unleash the full power of the fleet as soon as they are in range," Gigg said just after he sent out the order. He knew the importance of being quick and being right.
"Good good, you might want to see this, Mela. It's better than any celebration you've ever been to," Dramkick said snidely as he eyed the Teopay's fleet moving ever closer.
"I wouldn't miss it, but what if we are hit, what is our escape plan?" Mela asked and then she put her hand on Dramkick's shoulder. She wasn't afraid, but she wasn't stupid either. She needed to know where the exit was just in case the front door was closed.
"There is nothing to worry about we have 3 times the shield power as any ship in the universe," Dramkick replied as he stretched out his fingers like he was getting ready to punch someone. "Also as long as we stay in Rerni Realm we can’t be destroyed. In other words, hold tight and you'll be fine," Dramkick said as he put his arm around Mela.
"O.K. you've eased my worries. Hopefully the cookies will come soon in case the Teopay have a weapon you hadn't planned on," Mela said jokingly and then continued, "Just having a bit of fun, I believe you."
"Very funny, but maybe we've got something they hadn't planned on namely, the Zobalt festering robot," Dramkick said proudly as he bent down at the knees and put his hands on the floor. There was just something about war he loved.
"What is this Zobalt, and what does it do?" Mela asked as she furrowed her brow.
"The Zobalt is a 30 foot tall android that has an amazing ability to shred vessels at lightning speed," Dramkick spoke as if he'd already won the war. "I doubt that we'll need it today, but maybe we'll use one just for fun. And if so, watch their mouths keenly. You see, they have a highly corrosive laser slash liquid that eats through metal like you eat through soup. Not to mention their unheard of strength and speed," Dramkick said proudly as he took a drag.
"Really…that's fascinating, in the battle we fought with Peastro he had several powerful robots,” Mela muttered as she thought of the horror that was Peastro. “Well this changes things, I won't question you again. This will give us the upper hand in this battle," Mela replied as she took one of the Tut cigarettes she had given Dramkick and then continued, "And gives us new hope in the bigger picture."
"That's just one of the many surprises I have at my disposal. War’s in my blood, Mela, always has been."
"They're 5 seconds out, Quadromolan, initiating the final firing orders," Gigg said boldly as he sent out the final sequence to the firing computers.
"Perfect, let's hope they have a fighting spirit," Dramkick replied as he fought off a grin. "I need a good rush before supper, which reminds me I could use a little Praem to un-clutter my senses," Dramkick said as he walked over to the drawer on the left wall and waved his hand in front of it. It opens revealing a dozen Praem tubes. Dramkick felt victorious over his lapses in memory. He has stashes of Praem all over the ship to compensate. He grabs one and pours it into his eyes and lets out a sigh of relief. He grabbed another and asked, "Would you like some, Mela?"
"I would actually thank you," Mela responded and then she walked over and he handed her a Praem tube. She drank its contents, quickly smiled and said, "Now I'm ready for anything." This was a bit of a joke to Mela as nothing fazed her anyway.
"And we’re off!" Gigg shouted as the entire fleet fired in unison at the Teopay fleet.
The Cront fighters number in the hundreds and were sliced to shreds in seconds. There mangled heaps were almost completely destroyed in just moments. Dramkick saw this and broke out laughing and asked sarcastically, "What happened, where'd their fleet go?"
"Is that it?" Mela asked in disbelief.
Dramkick laughed and said, "I don't know, maybe those were decoys. Let's hope they've got reinforcements he hee," Dramkick was eager for the fight to continue and half hoped they were decoys. "God if I had known that other galaxies were so weak, I would've conquered the whole universe haa!"
Mela laughed and then said, "And I wanted to see Zobalt in action. I feel unsatisfied, those cookies can't get here fast enough."
In walked Dramkick's assistant Carlso with a large plate of Kamast cookies and a bottle of Wams.
"Are you psychic, do you have x-ray vision?" Dramkick asked sarcastically as he took the plate from his assistant Carlso.
"Both, let's eat and hope for their real army to show up," Mela said as she took one of the Kamast and started chewing. She didn't mind ditching this battle, but still wanted to see some more action.
Dramkick poured 2 glasses of Wams and grabbed a pair of Kamasts and bit into them both. The Mercim appeared in front of the Debrist Morou accompanied by 30 more Cront fighters. Gigg saw this and asked, "We've got more friends to deal with, Quadromolan, what is our course of action?"
"Hail them and ask them to surrender," Dramkick said casually as he ate and then said sternly, "but if they refuse blow them away with the power of our entire fleet!"
"The hail has been sent and the fleet is ready, Quadromolan," Gigg said and then stood up and asked, "May I have a Praem tube?"
"Of course, Gigg, but please hurry this will be worth seeing," Dramkick answered as he took a sip from his Wams and smiled a Mela.
Runlad appeared on the monitor with a pair of sabers in his hands. He stared fiercely at Dramkick and said sternly, "I am Runlad and I can only warn you not to trifle with my patience. Those ships you destroyed were decoys, and what you see before you is my true fleet. You have, but one chance to pay the tariff or face your entire destruction, WHICH IS IT?!"
"Now, Gigg, light the cigarette," Dramkick ordered smoothly as he continued eating cookies.
Dramkick's entire fleet fired again in unison. And again the Cront fighters were torn to shreds, as was the Mercim. Suddenly the sky in front of the Debrist Morou was filled with smoking carcasses where ships had been a moment earlier. Again Dramkick and Mela burst into laughter (as Gigg did his best not to). Dramkick got a hold of his emotions and sat down in the Capt.'s chair. Sasiege walked in and asked, "What was all that laughter I heard as I walked up?"
"You missed a minor fracas where the Teopay army was completely obliterated. It was the finest thing I've ever seen," Mela said as she burst out laughing. She knew now she had an incredible story to tell Coup.
Sasiege started laughing himself as he saw Mela's uncontrollable joy. Gigg (who'd been silent all the while) burst into uncontrollable laughter himself. This went on for a few minutes and then Gigg saw they were being hailed. He put the message up on the monitor. It was Runlad with blood running down his forehead. Runlad asked sternly, "Are you ready to surrender?"
Everyone stopped laughing for a second as they looked at Runlad in shock. Dramkick rose and ordered, "Hit him again, Gigg."
The Debrist Morou blew away Runlad and what was left of his entire fleet.