The Floating Man Wars by John T Buckley - HTML preview

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Chapter 5

The Dust and the Dawn of Jet Trick

Inside the Dusty Bottom bar and grill it was every man-or woman for that matter- for themselves.

Seedy, seedy was a good word for this rat hole. Inside the revolving bar kept the locals and the wannabe locals entertained, but I was there to meet a man. The walls made me nervous. There were cameras placed at every angle. Someone was watching and that is never good. Vola and I grabbed a booth overlooking the ocean. It was sundown and the water was as calm as I had ever seen it. The smell of the ocean always fueled me, just something about it. We saw a waitress heading our way and I felt a sudden jolt of nervousness. She was young and attractive, but obviously this wasn’t her dream job.

“Hi…I’m Opus can I help you?” she asked with all the spunk you could want at that moment. I shuffled in my seat and Vola waved to Opus to come closer.

“We’re here to meet Jet Trick. Could you fetch him?” asked Vola as a fight broke out on the far side of the bar. Opus smiled and stood there with her arms folded tapping her foot.

“I don’t know, what do you think he’s going to give you?”

“Transport, to the other side of the world,” I said firmly as I leaned in to Opus and then whispered,”

A war is coming and we have business to attend too.”

Opus nodded and then motioned with her hand to a man sitting in the corner. The man was Giff Needle-a card shark and all around scoundrel. He tapped the wall with his cane and disappeared through a secret passageway. We looked at each other and it was surreal. Then Giff came walking out of a passageway inside our booth with a man covered in a red robe.

“Hey, Folks, you got money?” asked Giff as he glared at me in a way I minded. I pulled out 60

Galarian gold pieces and Giff took them and smiled.

“Is that enough?” asked Vola as she slid her hand down to her Gaimer. I meanwhile was prepping my sidearm for any hassle.

Giff looked at the robed man and then said,” It’s more than enough for what we need, Jet.”

“Then deals are for making. How far are you going?” asked Jet Trick as he pulled back the robe to show his orange shin and glowing golden eyes. His features were hard and he looked to be all business.

“All the way to Sansothe,” replied Vola as she watched Jet pulled out his golden sunglasses.

“Then let’s go, enough talk already. Giff, fuel up the auxiliary tanks and let’s get moving,” said Jet and then he opened a secret spiral staircase in the floor. It was poorly lit and for a moment I wondered if they were going to kill us or worse. That said, we had no choice and down we went.

“You’ll be fine on my ship, just relax,” said Jet in a soothing tone I hadn’t heard since my father. I watched him negotiate the dark hallway and it made me wonder who was I sharing air with? Around a series of sharp corners we came to an underground hangar bay. His ship was constructed personally by Jet. That was my first thing to worry about aside from the fuel leaking from the tanks. The front end of the long eagle-like ship was crushed in from some obvious collision. Great, it looks like the bad luck never ends.

“It’s this way and it will be fine, don’t worry,” reassured Jet as he used a humming sound to get a staircase to lower from the ship. The way it lowered jerking from side to side was troublesome. Once we were on board the smell jumped out at me, it was horrible. There was trash strewn around along with broken beer bottles.

“Please tell me this thing will fly,” said Vola implying a question as she grinned and slid into a black leather chair in the wall. Jet winked and disappeared into a secret passageway. I sat down across from Vola and couldn’t help laughing to myself at our bad luck. A moment later the ceiling to the hangar bay started to open. The crackling of old rusty steel and pieces of rock being torn away was inescapable.

“Hold on everyone the speed will shock at first. Relax, we’ll be there soon enough,” and that’s what we heard through the loudspeakers. It was less than reassuring and just then we were rocketing out of the hangar bay and off into the void as the poets say. Heroy sent me a message saying The Floating Man was onto to me and to watch it. Now the stakes couldn’t be higher.

“Vola, if I die today I want you to know something,” I said softly as I looked Vola in the eye.

Vola leaned forward and asked,” What?”

“I love…“ I started to say but before I could finish my words we were hit by a laser blast broadside.

“You guys got some friends we should know about?” asked Giff sternly as he glared at me.

“Depends,” I replied coyly as I fumbled with a drink from the nearby fridge.

“On what?” asks Giff anxiously as he steps towards me.

“You friend’s with men that float?” I asked as I leaned forward in my seat.

“Not particularly, should I be concerned?” asked Giff as he grinned and pulled out a piece of blue candy called a Popper.

“Yeah, if he finds out we’re in your ship that would explain the attack,” interjected Vola as she stood up and looked out the side plasma window. She saw small fighting drones swirling below us. Vola wasn’t scared she knew it was probably just one of The Floating Man’s hit squads spreading some terror.

“If The Floating Man was attacking us this ship would already be destroyed. No…no it’s just his thugs messing with people, but good to know you have similar enemies,” said Giff as he smiled and chewed his candy.

“There’s a storm ahead, hold the hell on to something!” yelled Jet as the ship slowed noticeably and the windows went dark. It was a massive storm and the lightning strikes were all around us. If we’re hit this little baby will cry.

Vola stumbled to her seat and locked herself in. I was having trouble finding my harness. Giff walked over and calmly pressed the red button on the armrest and out came my safety harness. Giff smiled and said,” You won’t die today, so be thankful.” Then we were hit by an updraft and Giff was sent sprawling to the floor. He hit his head on the fridge and blood was running down his face.

“Oh God!” yelled Vola as the storm raged around us

“We’ll be fine! Just be ready,” I said loudly as I worried this was it and The Floating Man had won.

Giff stumbled to his seat and fell into the leather face first. He pulled the harness around his chest and locked it in. Then there was a flash of lightning and the ship dipped suddenly. Jet was having all he could do to keep the nose from aiming straight down. He fought the wind with all he had.

Lightning hit the side of the ship and sent a jolt through everyone. Vola screamed as the window burst covering her with glass. The oxygen mouthpieces came out of the seat and we quickly put them in our mouths. It was easy to breathe but the storm seemed to only be getting stronger.

“What now?” I asked loudly as I ducked a piece of wood that came in through the window.

“Who knows,” answered Giff as he chuckled to himself. I could only sigh and look into the eyes of a very concerned Vola. I loved her more now than I ever had, but the love I felt could die with me and this ship. Tragedy sucks.

“Everyone, I’m sorry but we have to ditch. My advice to you is to grab a parachute and jump,” said Jet nervously as he tried to steady the ship.

“What?” said Vola in disbelief as the ship shifted hard to the right. I took off my seatbelt and helped Vola to her feet. Giff put a pair of dark blue parachutes on us. Each of the parachutes had a jetpack as well in case the chute failed. That was only mildly comforting.

“Please, just jump already,” said Giff as he stood there at the open side door with the wind blowing nearly back on his butt.

“What happens if we’re hit by lightning?” I asked quickly as Vola got to the edge and looked down at the raging storm and The Floating Man’s troops lighting up a village with laser fire.

“You’re dead,” said Giff flatly and then he motioned with his hand for me and Vola to jump.

“Vola, I love you and if we survive I’m going to marry you,” I said firmly as I took her hand.

“I say yes, now come on it’s time to jump,” said Vola warmly as she smiled at me. We looked back at Giff for a second and then jumped out of the ship. The wind instantly sent us both into a tailspin. The lightning was all around us and a dead bird hit me hard in the cheek. That’s some fear I didn’t need. As we fell I could see houses and barns in flames below. Then I saw the sight I dreaded-it was The Floating Man killing randomly.

“Vola!” I shouted as she spun and spun a few feet away from me. I frantically looked for the jetpack controls. Vola lit up the sky with her jetpack as she flew over to me.

“It’s the red button!” she informed me as she flew around me.

“Yeah, that’s great, Hun, just a second,” I said quickly a barrel flew just past me and was hit by lightning and blown to pieces. I slid my left hand down the side of the parachute and then pressed the red

button. The thrust jolted me and suddenly I wasn’t falling, but the problem was we were in the middle of The Floating Man’s troops if we landed.

“We have to get out of here! What about that marina over there?” asked Vola as she pointed to a marina next to the Gadda Ocean.

“Yes, that’s a good idea!”

We darted down with debris hitting us over and over. An old couch cushion whacked me right in the face, while Vola ducked a steak knife that would have killed her. We started to hear a loud screaming sound. It didn’t sound like a person it was some sort of animal.

“Now, we have to land now!”

“OK, Leftic, let’s land!” yelled back Vola and we ducked into the marina and behind the bar inside.

The roof was instantly torn off and the walls started to collapse. The Floating Man was yelling through a megaphone and the screaming animals were almost defining.

“Quick, let’s get one of those boats,” I said loudly as I eyed a cherry red speed boat’

“You got it!” said Vola as she jumped up and ran towards the speed boat. I was quick behind and the wind threw us into a pair of bicycles. The bruises we got were forgotten instantly due to the fact we had to motor. We got up and sprinted to the speed boat. “I’ll drive, grab a seat!” said Vola as she started priming the engine. I leapt into the passenger seat and looked back at a massive electrical storm bearing down on us. Vola tried to start the boat but it wouldn’t turn over. The wind nearly threw me from the boat with my left hand holding the guardrail and my legs in the air. Vola concentrated on starting the boat and with one last turn it started. I kicked the thruster and off we went. I looked back and saw The Floating Man emerge from the cloud of electricity. The only question now was did he know it was me?

“Where too?” asked Vola as we sped across the waves careful not to flip over.

“Dealer’s choice,” I replied as my head was dipped into the railing causing a small cut.

“Then its luck or death, both are waiting,” said Vola as she gave me a look that put a jolt through me.

She was right this could be the end of us and it was chance that would decide. The wind whipped up and the backend of the boat was sent sideways. We were suddenly heading straight for a small island. I could see houses and lights on the island but it could be more than bad luck if The Floating Man had troops there.

“Floor it!” I shouted as I straightened out my shirt and wiped the sweat from my face. Vola gave it all she had and we were now jumping waves and being thrown forward by the wind. It was sheer terror.

“We’re almost there hold on,” said Vola sternly as we hit a large wave and launched into the air. We landed squarely on another wave perfectly breaking our fall. We launched forward and slid up the beach and into a small surfboard shed, destroying it and the surfboards. When we came to rest we were sitting in some old guy’s pool looking around in disbelief.

“That was fun,” I said jokingly as I tried to gather myself.

“No…no it wasn’t, Leftic, ahhh,” said Vola as she pulled her hair back and suddenly really turned me on with her figure and those wet clothes.

“You’re looking hot.”

“We’ve got too much to do, Leftic, focus. Now get up and let’s get out of this damn boat!” said Vola in a way that disarmed me and turned me back into a hopeful person just like that. We climbed out and looked around and there was no one in sight. I walked over to the house we almost destroyed and looked in through the window. There was an old man and his wife snuggling on the couch. Vola was about to say something and I nodded softly no and she understood.

“We’ll try the next one, come on,” said Vola playfully as she hip checked me and off we went into the darkness. I saw a light up ahead as someone had built a house that straddled the road. It looked amazing and its 6 stories were certainly impressive.

“Who lives here ya think?”

“I don’t know, but they’re rich. Let’s find out,” said Vola and then she ran towards the house. Not to be outdone I chased after her. Once we were to the house a man with a long dreaded blue and red beard walked outside and waved us up to his home.

“Hello, Travelers, please come in I am Oba Pimm and my house is your house,” said Oba warmly as he smiled revealing a large gap in his teeth and a youthful spirit.

“Thank you, Oba, we really need to sit down. Do you live here alone?” asked Vola as she shook hands with Oba.

“Yes, my wife was taken by the winds. It’s just me now, please come in and sit, sit,” replied Oba as he walked us into a giant living room with 40 foot ceilings. It was all hand craved wood furniture and it was really comfortable. You can tell a lot about a person by how they choose to relax.

“This is a beautiful home you have here. Ahh…we’re in desperate need of transport to Nickel,” I said sheepishly as I rubbed my hurting knee.

“That’s not a problem, but if you’re going there it’s not for vacation is it?”

“No, Oba, it isn’t. We’re part of the revolution, are you?”

Oba paused and walked over to the front window. He rubbed his beard and shook his head and said sadly,” I was, I was before The Floating Man killed my 2 brothers. I don’t know if I can help you, maybe you should GET THE HELL OUT! Get out of my house!” shouted Oba as he threw a drinking glass to the floor. Vola and I froze and looked around not sure what to do.

“We didn’t know,” I said in disbelief as Oba turned and glared at me.

“Get out!!” screamed Oba as he walked briskly over to a dresser and fumbled around in the top drawer and until he found his gun.

“We’re gone Man, it’s cool let’s go, Vola,” I said calmly as I started to move towards the door. Vola saw the gun and moved swiftly around me and then I saw Oba’s eyes shift, I knew that shift and I ducked.

He fired off 3 rounds above my head and I scampered out the door behind Vola. We ran out into the storm and the winds were freshening. In the distance we saw laser gunfire and explosions. I had a feeling we were running out of chances.

“What now, did you see that guy?” asked Vola angrily as we ran up the beach and glanced back to see Oba walking around on his front porch.

“Run…just run, Vola,” that’s all I could muster as the situation was dire. We were on some island that was loyal to The Floating Man and our jetpacks were low on power.

Vola scanned the water and saw a pair of fishing boats being pushed towards the beach by the waves.

She pointed and said,” There, there, Leftic, that’s our ride!”

“Let’s go!” I said quickly as I took her by the hand and we dashed into the air using the last of the jetpack fuel. It sent us up and into the boat in an awkward angle. At this point we didn’t care we had to get moving time was fading away.

“There’s a pair of Gaimer’s and a rifle here, Leftic, and some food. I say we head out to sea and eat once we’re clear of this horrible, godforsaken place.”

“I agree,” I said with a smile as I took her by the waist and kissed her. It may be my last one so I made it count. “How was that?”

“Perfect, now let’s get going I can see The Floating Man over on that beach,” Vola started as she started the motor and then she said happily,” For some reason I love boats. How about you?” asked Vola playfully as she turned the boat and headed out to sea. I looked back and saw The Flo0ating Man killing small children and I feared he‘d gone completely crazy.

We spent the night driving through what was left of the rain and seeing nothing but water before us.

It was bleak, call it what it is the ocean is the loneliest place in the world at night. After eating some delicious peanut butter and Hodo cream sandwiches the wine became our solace. We drank and drank and felt supremely great about doing so. Then we shut off the motor to catch some sleep. The waves splashing water on top of us periodically made sleep a difficult undertaking but we needed it. When we awoke an old man was yelling,” Candy! Who wants some delicious candy!”

I stood up and our boat had floated into a yard sale at sea. There were hundreds of small and large boats huddled together to form an island. On each boat were oddities from around the world and quite frankly junk (and lots of it). We didn’t care they looked friendly and we needed a ride. The smell of old fish was inescapable along with the smell of the sweaty sailors. I plugged my nose and tried not to cough as we looked around for someone to tell us where we were.

“Excuse me, Sir, you look lost can I help?” asked Trevoi Bose-a local fisherman’s eldest son-he was all of 12 years old and had blue hair and bright white teeth.

I spun around and saw Trevoi looking at me timidly and replied,” Yes…ah we need a ride to the other side of the ocean.”

“Oh,” said Trevoi as he quizzically looked at me and then turned and gave me a hand sign that meant hold on. He disappeared into the maze of boats only to return a minute later with an 8 foot tall sailor named Cristak Bose-his father. Cristak looked big and mean but we needed help fast.

“I hear you’re looking for a ride,” said Cristak implying a question as he offered me a piece of dried meat on a stick which I cautiously took a bite from.

“Yes, we need to get to the other side of the ocean, can you take us?” asked Vola as she stepped forward and took my hand. I looked over at her and she gave me a knowing look.

“Yeah, but it will be for heavy payment. Do you have the means?”

I smiled and reached into my pocket and produced a bag of shimmering red diamonds. I offered one to Cristak and he smiled from ear to ear. I asked slyly,” Is that enough?”

“Yes…I mean yes, that is plenty,” answered Cristak as he inspected the diamond. “Let me show you to my fishing ship, it’s this way please hurry.”

“Why the rush?” asked Vola as she pulled her hair back from her face.

“You don’t want to be here at night, it gets crazy. It’s this way,” motioned Cristak as he pushed the diamond deep into his trouser pocket. We wadded through the sea of boats stepping on one and then another as we negotiated our way to Cristak’s boat. The boat itself was a Thrasher, big and ominous with blades on the sides to dissuade thieves from boarding. It read,” I’ll Remember Baby,” across the side.

“Please, just grab a seat and hold on she jerks a bit when the motor starts,” ordered Cristak as he made his way to the front deck with us close behind. I looked out over the ocean and it was as desperate as ever. Many a person had seen and felt an ocean but not like this, not like here. “Sit down!” thundered Cristak as he primed the motor. I sat down and then I got the joke. The ship launched forward smashing into several other boats and casting them helplessly aside. We floored it!

“Leftic, do you trust this guy?” asked Vola as she watched Cristak down some hard liquor. I shuffled in my seat and shook my head no.

“What choice do we have, we’re on his boat already,” I replied as I looked around for a cigarette lighter unsuccessfully.

Cristak started to sing an old brothel song called Betty’s hip and things seemed to calm down for a stretch. Trevoi danced for us and the waved were small. Vola took off her jacket and leaned into me.

“Everyone below deck, fast!” said Cristak sharply as he started to steer the boat hard to the right. I looked over the edge and there he was, Dust The Floating Man’s younger brother. He was riding a sea motorbike engulfed in a ball of flames.

“This way!” said Trevoi urgently as he showed us the way below decks. Down a short step, around a corner, and then through a pile of old clothes and empty whiskey bottles. “In here we hide,” said Trevoi as he opened a door into a secret compartment. For a moment I was terrified we were being conned but we had to place the cards in front of us.

Above deck Cristak watched as Dust made a run for our boat. His heart was pounding and the sweat was rolling off his forehead. What now he thought?

“Citizen, prepare to be boarded!” yelled out Dust in a shrill voice as he bombarded the ship with grappling hooks. The hooks pulled us right up and into the mouth of Dust’s masse warship. It wasn’t getting heavy, heavy was here.

“Hi there, what can I do for ya?” asked Cristak sheepishly as Dust flew to the front of Cristak’s boat.

Dust grabbed Cristak and threw him to the deck.

“I’ll ask the questions, Citizen. Have you seen a man and a woman of knowledge? We heard they’re looking to get to the other side of the ocean,” said Dust as he pressed his foot down hard on my Cristak’s head. The flames from his boot seared the hairs on Cristak’s face.

“I haven’t seen them! I’m just a fisherman trying to earn a living!” shrieked Cristak as the pain was unbearable. Dust laughed and kicked Cristak hard in the gut.

“Fine…fine it is, but if you’re lying and I find out, I’m going to cut your head off and Eat It!

shouted Dust as he leaned in close to Cristak and yanked hard on his nose. The blood streamed down Cristak’s face, but he said nothing, and that kept him alive. Below decks one of Dust’s soldier’s was inspecting the bedroom. He walked within inches of me as I tried hard to hold in a sneeze. I watched my whole life flash before me as this simple task was becoming unbearable. Trevoi saw me struggling and put his hand hard over my mouth. The soldier stopped dead in his tracks and looked right at the secret compartment door. He started to finger around the bottom of it and then we heard Dust yell,” Let’s go you Idiot!” The soldier stood for a moment and then slowly turned only to stop suddenly. He looked right at where we were hiding and then turned and quickly walked away. Thank God.

“That was close,” whispered Vola as she kissed my cheek. I looked around and saw that I just had to sneeze and so I did. Above decks Dust heard just a hint of my sneeze and froze.

“Did you check the whole vessel, Soldier?” asked Dust as he glared at Cristak.

The soldier paused and then said,” Yes I did its empty.”

“Then we’re leaving, hurry up!” snapped Dust as he walked past Cristak and punched him in the gut hard. The blow doubled him over and he coughed up some blood. Dust and his soldiers drove rapidly away from us.

“You can come out! It’s clear,” said Cristak brightly as he opened the secret compartment.

“Holy cow, he almost had us,” I said nervously as I bent over at the waist and pushed down on my knees. Vola walked over to Cristak and gave him a hug. Trevoi smiled and walked slowly over to the window. He looked out and saw nothing and then he was startled by the face of Dust.

Dust kicked in the door to the lower decks and his soldiers streamed into the back bedroom. “You foolish ilk, we put this here when we left,” said Dust as he pulled a listening device from the mattress. He laughed and then said snidely,” The Floating Man’s been looking for you, Leftic. Prices to pay you know right?”

“I was just on vacation, I planned on heading back soon,” I said coyly as I was put into electrical wave shackles.

“Soon is now. The Floating Man thinks you’re a traitor. Let’s hope not for your sake. Take them aboard my ship,” ordered Dust as he slapped me hard across the face. I glared back at him but it was a worthless gesture there were just too many of them. Now it was off to see the Devil’s best friend. The Floating Man wouldn’t be kind I was sure of it.

“We’ve done nothing wrong,” said Vola as she was taken away while Cristak and Trevoi were stood up facing Dust.

“Now…for you two I’ve got a gift, here catch!” said Dust snidely as he leaned back and then shoot a massive stream of electricity and flames into Cristak and Trevoi. They never had a chance and were dead in seconds. They loaded us into the holding cell on Dust’s warship and we were off. The revolution would have to wait.

Chapter 6

The Soup Cans

After 12 days of brainwashing and horrible torturing we were told The Floating Man had invited us to dinner. Great, now I had to face him once again I was not thrilled. They put us in potato sacks and smeared lipstick all over our faces. Then they put mud in our hair and dragged Vola and me into the grand dining hall. The Floating Man laughed and threw wine in our faces.

“Look at the pretty ladies. TRAITOR’S!” bellowed The Floating Man as he slapped me hard across the mouth. He floated above us and then laughed and said angrily,” I gave you EVERYTHING! You worthless shit!” snarled The Floating Man.

“It’s just a misunderstanding I swear it,” I said coyly as I watched the guards lighting up a cigarette.

The Floating shot a lightning bolt through the two of us and cackled like the prize pig.

“You liar!” said The Floating Man loudly as he looked me right in the eye.

“No…no I would never do anything to harm you. That’s the truth,” I said coyly as I did all I could to maintain eye contact with The Floating Man. He grabbed my hair and shook my head around in a circle 3

times fast.

“Leftic, you jackass Niram ratted you out. I know you were hoping to unite the f actions, fool’s errand at best,” started The Floating Man as he spun in a circle and then said,” You know this can only end one way, it’s the Billings.”

“Please, not the Billings. I’ll do anything you want,” I pleaded as the swat slid down my face like a racehorse nearing the finish. Vola looked at the windows and saw a storm was brewing.

“No, it’s no you idiot. You loyalty is in question, that’s it, Leftic, it’s the Billings,” said The Floating Man snidely as he laid back in midair and shot electricity through Vola and I. I knew if we went to the Billings we’d die a slow death. That place gets old the second they lock the doors. There just had to be a better way.

“Please, we’ll be loyal to you for the rest of our lives, I promise,” said Vola coyly as she tried to loosen her wave shackles. The Floating smiled and shook his head no.

“Take them away, Rodge, I don’t ever want to see their faces again. It is done.”

“No you horse’s ass you can’t! I’m not a traitor!” I yelled halfheartedly as we were taken away. All the while The Floating Man surrounded himself with electricity and laughed. They put us in the hold of a cargo ship and off to the Billings prison and torture center. The ride across the ocean was nauseating as the boat continued to bounce on the waves. Vola tried in vain not to throw up but the vomit did come. As I looked out a small window I saw a large city in the distance. Those nanobots work fast, I didn’t know this city existed, but there it was. Then the awful truth hit me: there were no more cities in my future, just stone walls.

“Leftic, I think I can break free of my bonds. Be ready to jump the guard,” whispered Vola as she worked her way out of her restraints. I could only laugh and lean backwards. Vola looked bewildered and asked,” What’s so funny?”

“We’re in the middle of the ocean, there’s nowhere to run,” I said happily as I felt joy for the first time in a long time. Vola looked around and suddenly realized the horrible truth, they had us.

“Ok, get up and shut up! We’re entering the perimeter!” ordered Larken (The Floating Man’s personal general). He was hard as marble and just as unforgiving. He had a scar running from his chin around his neck to the back of his head-Knife fight, guess who won? We looked out the window and saw the ocean disappear and the grey stone of the Billings surround us. It was the smell that scared me, cheap

soap and unclean inmates. The walls had spinning blades on top of them. That looked to be the worst case scenario. There was no way out of here, and we knew it.

“Leftic, I think we can escape,” said Vola as we were pushed hard into the common area.

“Yeah…great keep dreamin’.”

“Seriously, Leftic, we just need to find out what leaves here and how. Think about it.”

“Vola…that’s actually a great idea,” I answered as I looked around. “We’ve got plenty of time to figure it out so keep your eyes wide and absorbing,” I replied as I watched a giant man (8 foot 9 inches tall and 700 pounds of muscle named Pothar) throw an inmate so hard into the wall it killed him instantly.

The guards tried to grab him but that wasn’t happening. They got smart quick and shot him with sedatives sending him hard to the floor.

“Heeyy, Chucklehead, Move it!” shouted Bindy Large (a real master killing machine) as he pushed me hard into the wall. I looked around and no one looked over and the guards acted as if it wasn’t happening. Vola looked at me with hard eyes and I knew what to do.

“Hey I’m sorry, Man, won’t happen,” I said warmly before stopping abruptly to punch Bindy hard in the mouth. The blow sent him sprawling into the tables in the center of the common area. He looked at me harshly and pulled out a blade. I watched as he got up his strength and then dashed at me.

“You’re dead now!” he screamed as he swung the blade, but I was a soldier so I grabbed his wrist and flung him hard into the concrete floor. He was as happy as a bullet recipient then. Vola nodded her head and the other inmates left us be. We were shown our cell, it 2was 8 feet long and 3 feet wide and filthy. Home sweet home I thought to myself. I sat down on the bed and it collapsed to the floor. Vola smiled and sat down on the toilet to pee. And as luck would have it that flush don’t flush. Is this heaven?

“Dinner’s in 5 minutes better get in line,” said Summers Bing (he was in for killing his neighbor after he raped his daughter) he was slight of build with black hair and thick mustache.

“Is that right ok let’s eat,” said Vola as she ventured out of the cell and saw out the window a pair of trucks driving away from the prison.

We walked down the long hallway to the kitchen and it was covered in toilet paper and cigarette butts. I watched the other inmates only talking when the guards weren’t around, but I wasn’t sure why.

Then I heard an inmate laugh loudly and quick as shit a guard thumped him on the head. I made a note of this. We entered the dining hall and it was barrels for chairs and tables made out of upside down cardboard boxes. The food smelled terrible, but it was food and we were hungry.

“What are you in for?” asked Summers as I picked the maggots from my bread.

“Murder, yeah we killed a dozen men.”

“Sounds like a lie, but we all lie in here. I’m Summers and you?”

“Vola and Leftic, we’re in for treason. The Floating Man is torturing us and quite frankly we’d like to return the favor,” Vola said quietly as she leaned in close to Summers. Summers looked around and then leaned close.

“I hate The Floating Man he killed my brother. If you want out of here it’s not easy.”

“You’re saying there’s a way?” I asked in disbelief as I watched 2 inmates stabbing each other by the jello desserts.

“Yeah, but it’s tricky they catch you they’ll put a bullet in your head. Ahh…how bad do you want out?”

“That’s all we want and we could care less about anything else. What do you think?” asked Vola as she grinned and watched Summers pull out a red plastic door card.

“I stole this from the guard’s lounge it will get you to the supply room. Once you’re there it’s get in a crate of old soup cans and hope they don’t find out you’re in the truck. It’s only possible once the lights go out. Then in the morning the trucks head for Goerdone.”

“Sounds easy,” I replied as I swatted a fly in my pasta.

“No, you could easily get caught. You need to be smart but you also need to be lucky. Here, take your chances and if you kill The Floating Man consider us even,” said Summers quietly as he handed us the door card.

“Done!” I said triumphantly as I watched the guards beating an old man senseless.

Vola and I walked briskly down a nearly vacant hallway. We came to the door to the supply room and I heard someone singing behind us.

“Quick, we have to hide!” I said nervously as I looked frantically around for a place to hide.

“In here,” said Vola as she led me into a room filled with chickens and cows in pens. I slid in behind a large brown cow and waited. Was this it? I didn’t know.

“I love a rainbow, I love a clean sewing thread!” sang Larri Peck-he was a guard for one reason the money. He danced into the room singing as he did. I watched him pull out a long knife and my heart sank. Vola slowly crawled through the cow manure to keep her body hidden from Larri. Larri stopped suddenly and grabbed a chicken. He cut off its head and slammed it down on a cutting board. I crouched there behind the cow not even 8 feet from sweet Larri. I was unable to speak but I saw that Vola was attempting to get behind Larri.

“If the sun is ice, cool me down! If the wind is raw, run around!” sang Larri as he removed the feathers from the now dead chicken. I saw that Larri’s gun was dangling precariously from his hip. I slowly moved to the right of the brown cow. I saw that Larri had dropped his hat.

“Now, Vola!” I shouted and then Vola and I proceeded to jump on Larri’s back and pummel him.

I grabbed his gun and put it to the back of his head.

“Please don’t kill me! I’ll let you go, please!” pleaded Larri as he fumbled with his left pocket. I saw him pull out a dagger and I had no choice.

“See ya Son,” I said snidely and then I put a bullet in the back of Larri’s head. He fell to the ground and Vola ran to the hallway to see if anyone was coming.

“It’s clear, we’re goin’!” said Vola sharply and I was just about to run when I saw Larri had an assortment of keys on his hip. I leaned in and grabbed hold of the keys. I fought to rip them from his pants as Vola watched in desperation. “Just leave ‘em!” said Vola sternly as I fought with the keys.

I ripped the keys and Larri’s pocket clean off, now we had a chance.

“Let’s get out of here,” I said quickly as I ran over to Vola. We went out into the hallway and opened the door to the food storage room.

It was filled with barrels and buckets of food you’d only eat if you were starving. The smell caught you right away-the smell of rotting meat it was horrible. We saw the giant soup cans and looked out the side door to see a truck pulling into the docking bay.

“We gotta move these cans to the edge,” said Vola as she started twisting and turning the giant can over the edge of the docking bay, as I did the same. I have to be honest climbing into the can of spoiled soup wasn’t my favorite thing to do this lifetime. I knew we could be found out and killed, but at this point I could care less.

The giant blue and white stripped Dandy’s Pantry truck backed in and a young man named Gebon Pett climbed out.

He was 6 foot 6 inches of mean. I watched him through a small hole in the soup can and I worried he’d thump us good if we were caught.

Gadon had a blue laser pistol on his hip that looked pretty lethal. I could hear him mumbling to himself the way you would if you worked alone for too long. He was daydreaming and carrying giant can, after can up onto the truck. The moment of truth, he grabbed Vola’s can, paused for a few seconds and then put it on the fucking truck yeah.

Gadon stopped for a few seconds to pull a beer out of the mini-fridge near the door. He guzzled the beer and then slowly walked over to my can. Please don’t catch me now.

“Alright, “said Gadon sadly like he hated his job but it was the only job he could do. He lifted my can and couched for a second setting it back down. He kicked the can hard and then let out a loud belch.

What the hell was he doing? He lifted the can and carrying me onto the truck. When he set me down and turned I felt a rush of relief I didn’t know existed. Gadon kept mumbling away and loading the truck for the next 30 minutes and then we were off.

“Vola, can you hear me?” I whispered as I poked my head out of the can.

Vola rose up out of her can and said,” We’re not out of the fire yet. We have to get outside the prison first. Once we’re clear we need to get the hell out of this truck.”

The truck hit a large bump and the can I was in overturned, spilling me onto the filthy floor. I looked around and listened hard to see if Gadon had heard it. I waited second after miserable second but nothing happened, we just kept moving. We cleared the first checkpoint and I could hear inmates screaming from torture. I could also hear the guards playing guitars and drums in the courtyard strange on top of strange.

The long road through the front of the prison had guards with guns on either side watching the truck carefully. I saw Vola snake out of her barrel and then she kissed me. I looked in her eyes and I knew

it was her and I forever, however long or short, that lasted. We pulled into the last gate and the guard named Rattrap tapped the side of the truck with his shotgun. Gadon stopped and rolled down his window.

“Yeah, Rattrap, what’s the hold up?”

“Gadon, you sure there’s no fucking stowaways in your truck?”

“Yeah, I checked it myself let’s go already. I’m dying to get home and get some sleep.”

Rattrap smirked and started to walk towards the back door of the truck. He wiped off some dirt from his hands and reached for the door handle. Suddenly the sirens went off which meant there was a riot. Rattrap ran back to his station and quickly inside the main prison. There was no way he was missing out on killing some scumbag inmates. Gadon coughed and slowly pulled through the last gate and out onto the main road.

“We’re free!”

“Not yet, we still have to get a decent transport. Man I wish I could see the Floating Man’s face when he finds out, heaven,” I said happily as we raced down the Butter Road.

“He’ll be thrilled let me tell you. Now, when do we jump?”

“Vola, let’s wait just a few minutes and then take our chances. If my thinking is right he’ll have to go over the Betterville Bridge. If he does…we jump and run like it’s nobody’s business,” I said firmly as I could feel the bumps in the road getting larger and more severe. Something was up with the road we were on. It didn’t seem like it could be the main road.

Then we heard a loud bang and the truck slowed and drove into a grassy field

“What the hell was that?” asked Vola frantically as she searched for any kind of weapon she could find.

“I don’t know, but we’re out of here! Let’s go!” I said quickly as I hurried to the back door. I could hear talking outside and as I went for the door handle the door swung open. All’s I could think in that terrible moment was don’t let it be The Floating Man.

“Where ya goin’?” asked Ripp Buttle, a local thief and murderer, as he waved a pistol in our faces. He was short and not much to look at with a dirt tan and filthy clothes. I knew this man was capable of anything and that was bad news. He also had his 2 sons with him Kettle and Pigg, two idiots who couldn’t spell the word smart. Hey were both short and filthy like their father which was no surprise. Vola looked at me and I knew I needed a good answer or we were dead.

“Look, we’re trying to escape. I’ll just level with you we don’t have any money, and we don’t want any trouble. In other words we don’t care if you take this truck as long as we can go about our way.

I stood there feeling almost naked as Ripp, Pigg, and Kettle looked at us perplexed.

“Well…that’s fine just don’t go talkin’ to the sheriff got it?” asked Ripp slowly as he searched for every word like he didn’t know how to speak English.

“That’s fine with us, can you help us get some form of transport?”

“What’s Transport?” asked Pigg sternly as he licked the barrel of his gun.

“Ah…ya know like a car or boat? Something to ride in,” I said sheepishly as I worried I’d offend them if I said too much. Men like these kill at the slightest sign of a slight so we had to be careful.

“Oh right, yeah we got a Hoverbike you can have. It’s got a steering wheel, honest,” said Kettle warmly as he offered me his grease and dirt covered hand. I took his hand and jumped down. Then Vola did the same and we soon saw the splendor we’d be traveling in. It was a blue Duzzard Hovercycle, the cheapest one you could get. The seat was made of old shirts and cardboard they had tied to it. The steering wheel was an old Mcbasher action figure (a toy very popular back in its day). And luckily, and I

stress luckily it was fully charged. We deduced very quickly the Buttle’s just wanted to steal the truck (fine with us).

“Hey thanks a lot for the bike, we’ll see ya!” I said brightly as we climbed aboard the Duzzard.

Pigg and Kettle waved and tried to smile at us.

“You got it, Bud!” yelled Pigg just as I floored it which meant I might not have been the most cordial in that moment, so what we were free.

“That was close, Leftic, now what?” asked Vola as we sped across a hay field and looked for a new ride.

“I’ll show you,” I said quickly as I spied a red Fereman sports car sitting in a man’s front yard. I raced over to it and we jumped off the Duzzard. We looked inside the Ferrari and saw the keys were in it, paydirt.

“Let’s roll!” Vola said excitedly as we got inside the Fereman. I warmed up the engine and we started to leave. The owner of the car came outside and started shooting bullets into the back of the car.

We raced down his driveway and out onto the main road. One quick left turn and we were off.

“Let’s just ride until we can’t no more. I need to be rid of this place in the worst possible way,”

said Vola nervously as we drove past an old woman eating a sandwich in her front yard. I felt alive like I’d stolen the golden chalice and drank from it. The Floating Man will have to eat it this time.