Chapter 7
Boston, Homeland
“You said, what?!” the excited bald clone said to Andy the Android.
“I told another android that was also named ‘Andy the Android’ that I was not trying to steal its identity, and just by being named the same as the other android, it did not constitute identity theft.”
“No, not that part, the other part of this magnificent story of yours!” the bearded clone said.
“You mean the part about me explaining how true identity theft is done correctly and effectively?”
“Yeah, that would be it! You went and told another android how to skim off someone’s account?!”
“Yes, but it was only to correct his wrong assumption that I was stealing his identity because we had the same name. He didn’t know what he was talking about.”
“No you didn’t!” the blonde clone said with his hands on the sides of his head. “Andy, all you should have said was that your same names were a coincidence, not an effort to steal its identity!”
The bearded clone said, “Andy. Stop and think about what you said to that android.”
“I see the problem now. It turns out I’m not very good at being a cybercriminal.”
The bearded clone said, “Some things require competent deceit; such as our business. If you are in this business and fail at deceit, the cost is extremely high.”
The blonde clone said, “I know we will end up going to jail because of this droid. Who thought it was a good idea to have it help us in our enterprises?”
The bald clone sighed and said, “Fine. Then let’s just get rid of him. I agree that there is no possible way it will make us any money; without us ending up being culled.”
The bearded clone said, “Did you upload any data to this other Andy that you were so worried that he was trying to steal your identity?”
“No utilities, only descriptions and operational protocols.”
The bald clone said, “The problem with that, Andrew, is that when you do that, you are spreading around evidence that you are part of some things we want to keep a secret. Eventually, someone could connect the dots leading to us.”
The bearded clone said, “Right now I’m going to hope that other Andy is no savvier than the wondrous one that we have the privilege of owning.”
Andy said to the bearded clone, “That is not a correct assumption. The other Andy is a 2213 model Dextroid. However, it only has been in service for a short time and has not developed much of a database.”
“So you just thought you would show him the ways of being a loose-lipped law-breaking robot,” the bald clone said. “This thing with you is really becoming a distraction. We are wasting too much energy wondering what Andy is up to. Can we please just get rid of it? How about if we just disown it and put it out on the street?”
The blonde clone asked, “Is that possible? I mean, just go in there and delete ourselves as the owner? Anyway, Andy cost us way too much to just ditch him. Maybe we could make a deal with that Rosario. We could trade Andy for some protection.”
The bearded clone said, “You may hate this idea, but I know Tekujin made specialized implant upgrades for these Lucids that could help, such as human facial expression recognition. There are a lot of psychology modules that we could install in his noggin that could eliminate some of his nonsense.”
The bald clone shook his head and said, “I don’t know about that. I hate sinking even more money into such a walking money pit, especially if we are going to end up junking it.”
The blonde said, “I did hear some of the original tricked out Lucids were well-regarded for certain soft-skill jobs. Maybe we can scavenge up an old expansion package for small money.”
“Whatever,” the bald clone said. “Or we could just beat some sense into him. Andy! Do you understand the problem here?!”
“Yes, completely. I was loose-lipped.”
“Then watch what you are saying!”
“I will increase my verbal and radio output articulation filters to 12.”
“Whatever,” the bald clone said. “I hope that is a couple of clicks past stupid.”
Andy said, “The articulation filter is not based upon intelligence, but will not me say things that may be sensitive to our overall goals.”
“Daaa!” the bald clone picked up a chair and was ready to smash Andy with it for being so obvious. The other two clones restrained him. After the bald clone relaxed, they went back to their workstations.
The blonde clone was looking at a screen and said, “Ooh! Look! A whole psych package for Tekujin Lucids listed here for five hundred Homeland Credits. Must sell. Wonder why it’s so cheap? I’m getting it.”
“Yeah, whatever. Just do it,” the bald clone said. “You can install it.”
The bearded clone asked, “Andy, will it really bother your mechanical sensitivities if we continue to build our botnet now without further trouble or commentary from you?”
“No,” Andy said, “I encourage it.”