Chapter 8
Hartford, Homeland
“Just Relax,” the psychiatrist said as she motioned for Milton to take a seat in a cushy chair. “My name is Dr. Lorenzo. I just want to interview you to see what you think about some things in relation to what has been going on with you. This won’t take long, and then you can get back to class.”
Milton had a strong mistrust of the psychiatrist, since she represented the school administration. The school already demonstrated that they had it out for him, for no reason.
“Milton,” Dr. Lorenzo said, “So you were asking fellow students if they believe in God, correct?”
“Yes. That is true,” Milton said.
“Do you think students have a right to keep their ideas about that private?”
“Yes. But I also think I have the right to ask the question. If I bug them so much, all they have to do is not answer.”
Doctor Lorenzo said, “Here is the problem with that: Many people choose to keep their thoughts, as well as their opinions on questions about religion to themselves. They have protected rights to privacy. When you ask them questions like that, you are invading their own personal ‘safe space’. Do you understand what I am saying?”
“Yes. You are protecting them, because they are wimpy. You are trying to protect them from the real world or knowledge about religion, whether it may help them or not. Then on top of that, everyone is trying to make me out as some kind of bad guy.”
“Thank you for your honesty, Milton. Now let me be honest. Some would say that you are bad and you are not talking about the real world. You do have the right to think whatever you want as long as you don’t speak of it.”
“Do you think I am bad?” Milton asked.
“People like to feel good about themselves. Don’t you think some of the things you say make others feel bad about themselves?”
Milton paused for a few moments. Then he said, “I still don’t see how it is my responsibility that others feel bad because I asked them a normal question that everyone should already be thinking about.”
“Milton, maybe it’s because they are like you and can’t answer your question and it bothers them that they can’t. And at school, your classmates may feel your priorities are out of order by asking inappropriate questions.”
“My priorities? If God is real, He would want us to believe in Him, not ignore him. He would want us to do what He wants. Maybe He is somehow making me want to find out about Him. I just want to know if He is real. You are right. I do consider that a big priority.”
“That is part of the problem, Milton. Since God . . . I mean, if God is not real, then when you try to do what He wants, you will be doing irrational things and not living your life the way you want because of your fantasies. I know you have been told several times that it is a problem when you ask questions like that at school.”
“Okay, fine. Can you answer the question? About God?”
“This really isn’t about me now, is it, Milton?”
“No. I was just asking you as a psychologist. Aren’t you supposed to help me with questions? It’s a simple yes or no question.”
“Are you trying to cause me pain because I am calling you out for your behavior? Is this your own passive-aggressive way of lashing out at others?”
“No! I knew this was stupid!” Milton started shifting around in his chair. “I am asking you because you are supposed to talk to me about whatever I want! Now you are acting all offended too!” Milton curled his knees up to his chest in the chair and clutched them with his arms in a defensive pose.
“Let’s change topics here a little. Would you be asking these questions if your father was not in the Homeland corrections facility?”
“My dad has nothing to do with it!” He pointed his index finger at Dr. Lorenzo and said, “You people just get one thing in your head and you think you are right!” He waved her off with his hand while the other still clutched his knees.
“Your words and body language are very defensive and confrontational. We are just talking here, Milton. We are trying to see if we can help you through this. But I see no point in continuing right now. I’ll give your mother a call later.”
“You do that!” Milton felt like he was channeling his inner Beth. “The way I see it; you and the principal are the ones who are messed up, not me!” He got up and left the room. He felt a new kind of anger that he didn’t know even existed.
*******
Milton was angry all day while at school. He felt like everyone was against him. No one wanted to sit by him at lunch and feel all of the bad vibes he was giving off.
*******
Dr. Lorenzo said to Mrs. Thomas on the phone, “Milton subconsciously wants God to be a make-believe friend but mentally won’t give in to such a fantasy. The struggle within him is exhausting. But I’m afraid all this confusion has caused him to become full of latent hostility. I would say he is pre-violent. You may want to keep a close eye on him. Keep him at home as much as possible. Also, I think it would be best if we went ahead and put him on some Notuda.”
Mrs. Thomas asked, “Do you really think that is necessary? I mean, the Notuda? I hear that can have some side effects.”
“In some cases there can be some side effects. We can always make adjustments later.”
“I guess, if you think that is best. I just never thought of him as the violent type. Is pre-violent even a thing?”
“It means we need to be extra vigilant around him. Perhaps he is just going through a rough time. It happens to people sometimes when they are that age forming their own identity. He may grow out of it in time.”