Chapter 19
Slobbovania, Virtual Reality
The growing search party for Brandon now consisted of the three original members dressed in cloaks, a goblin assassin and an inappropriately dressed figure called Joe, who keeps discovering new ways to hack into the Slobbovania world global settings. They sat around on some rocks in the desolate terrain in the unchanging climate. They were waiting on Joe’s two identical counterparts that were off trying to gain a clue of the whereabouts of Brandon, also known as Roxzak.
Snotbit the Goblin asked the remaining Joe figure, “So how come you aren’t out there flying around looking for this lady’s kid?”
Joe answered, “I can leave, but I want to be certain of your whereabouts. I am in constant contact with my other persons in this world.”
“Can you see what they see?” Zona asked Joe.
“Yes. There are many other terrains. This world is approximately one-twentieth the size of planet Earth.”
Mawuli said, “I think it is one of the largest VR worlds.”
Snotbit asked Joe, “I get that you are some kind of a hacker or something. What are you supposed to be in the game, some kind of a vampire or something?”
“No,” Joe said, “I am just an average human; one which would not raise any suspicion.”
Snotbit looked at Joe’s sunglasses, long coat and slicked back hair and just shook his head. “Yeah. This place is full of people like whatever you are. No one will ever guess.”
Suddenly a twelve-foot tall being of pure light appeared near the group. They all jumped up and slowly backed away.
The towering figure spoke in a normalish voice of someone who would be casually sitting in physical reality at their VR pod, clearly not the voice of the usual Slobbovanian growling non-player monster of some sort, and unlike any type of player character immersed in the environment. “My name is Kent. I am an administrator of Slobbovania.”
Mawuli asked, “What do you want?”
“Seriously?” Kent asked rhetorically. “You newbies never noticed how this guy with you hacks our world and comes in here looking like an ancient Matrix guy?”
Snotbit said, “He seems normal to me.”
Kent looks at Joe and said, “What is your deal man?! You know you can’t just come in here and ruin this place for everyone! We tried to revoke your membership, but we can’t even find that you have one. So I have to come here inside of the game to ask you to leave. You got a lot of nerve, dude. If I was you I’d leave right now. Don’t be surprised if we take legal action against you.”
Snotbit said, “I didn’t know there were lawyers here. I imagine you’ll have a tough time finding his address.”
“Daaa!” Kent exploded in rage. “You know that isn’t funny man! Now all of you get out of my game!”
“The truth must be protected,” Joe said.
Kent audibly sighed. “What are you saying?”
“The truth must be protected.”
Kent said, “What’s going on here? What are you, some kind of an extremist looking to make a name for yourself?!”
“Man has silenced the truth about God in Homeland. We will continue our revolution until it becomes permissible in Homeland to openly discuss God.”
“Huh? Listen, you . . . I don’t think anyone or any single thing has made me madder than you. Your messed up ideas have no place in this game! If you don’t leave right now, I’m going to take you all down and none of you will ever be allowed in Slobbovania ever again.”
“Ewww . . . that would be so bad,” John said, feigning fear.
“That’s it!” Kent said.
Suddenly, John’s character vanished from the Slobbovania world.
Zona shouted, “Hey! He paid money for this stupid place! You better put him back, or we will have your job! What is your name? Kent?”
“Fine!”
John’s avatar reappeared in the same location. Then a pouch full of gold pieces plopped in front of him. “That never happened, right?”
John said, “Sure. I guess. I was just gonna go to my food dispenser and get a snack, but here I am again.”
Zona said, “If you could just delete my son’s account, we will all leave.”
Kent said, “I’m not sure I can do that just because you say so. I’d have to ask my boss about it.”
Joe said, “I won’t agree to those terms. I will not leave if Brandon’s account is cancelled.”
“That’s right,” Snotbit added.
“Why not?” Zona said with a surprised look. “That is why we came here.”
Joe said, “I intend to destroy the entire VR world of Slobbovania.”
Kent said, “Now you all stand back while I deal with this guy . . .”
Joe preemptively flew like a flash at Kent. The giant glowing energy being toppled with Joe’s hands around his large neck.
“Hey!” Kent said in a strained voice, “how are you doing this?”
Kent managed to swing an arm at Joe and with a flash and loud noise that clapped like thunder; he completely severed one of Joe’s legs. Unlike any other bodily damage in the game, there was no blood. But the amputation had no effect upon Joe or the attack he was putting on Kent. Kent swung again and the resulting flash and boom took off Joe’s head, but the attack continued.
Zona said, “Okay, now that is the most sickening thing I have ever seen.”
“Dude, why won’t you die?” Kent asked.
“That is a military secret,” the remains of Joe said.
Suddenly, Kent’s avatar vanished. Joe’s headless and legless avatar glided over to the others.
Snotbit cowered and said, “This is something new here; even for this place.”
Joe said, “During the contact with the administrator’s avatar, we were able to extract a lot of data from the Administrator. We will analyze it for use in our war.”
Snotbit, “What’s this ‘we’ stuff? I got no data.”
“Not you,” Joe said, “The information has been collected by members of the Lucid series. We will use it for the benefit of man.”
“Whatever,” Snotbit said. “Just make sure you find this lady’s kid. I want his stuff. But you can’t destroy the entire Slobbovania world or the stuff will be worthless.”
Joe said, “I need a volunteer.”
John said, “Sure, why not?”
“Come near me,” Joe said. “I have no vision in this VR environment.”
“It would help a little if you had a head,” Snotbit said with a chuckle. “But that doesn’t explain why you are still talking.”
John moved next to Joe. Joe put his hand upon him. John’s avatar started glowing and increasing in size.
John said, “Whoa! That is messing with my head! What are you doing?” He backed away.
Joe said, “I was able to download some of the administrative privileges from Kent. Since I am only an object here, Kent cannot revoke my membership, and I cannot also assign myself administrator status. But I can confer administrator status on another human player in physical reality.”
“I am confused. What good is that?” Mawuli asked.
“I’ll take it,” Snotbit offered, realizing the profit potential.
Joe said to John, “You will receive administrator powers. Then once you learn how to navigate the administration system you can revoke Brandon’s membership and he will be out of the game forever.”
Zona said. “Brandon is going to be really mad.” She paused. “But it has to be done.”
Mawuli said, “This seems strange, and a lot of trouble. Can’t you just pull the plug on his VR interface?”
“No,” Zona said, “He keeps his room locked all of the time. You just don’t understand. He doesn’t trust anything I do. Anyway, he would just find another way to get back on.”
“Whatever. Let’s just do it,” John said. “Then we can get out of here once and for all. All this talk about lawyers makes me nervous.”
John’s avatar started glowing again while everyone watched. Then Snotbit scurried up to John and pulled a long dagger out of his cloak and started stabbing John repeatedly until John dropped to the ground.
Zona screamed in horror and the others took a defensive posture against the goblin. John’s avatar vanished.
“What’s going on?” the headless one-legged Joe said.
“John is dead.” Mawuli said. The goblin killed him.
“Yeah!” Snotbit said, “Like this!”
Then the goblin plunged the dagger into the core of Joe’s remaining body, which crumbled and then vanished. “See! You just gotta know how to kill! That Kent guy doesn’t even understand his own game. No one knows how to kill here better than Snotbit.”
“Why would you do that?!” Zona said. “I thought we were going to work together!”
“Because we had a deal! No one crosses me! You said if I helped, I could get all of that VR-addict Brandon’s stuff. You will not cross me, or I will get the entire assassin’s guild involved if I have to!”