Chapter 20
Slobbovania, Virtual Reality
“Just calm down,” Mawuli said to the enraged dagger-wielding goblin. “We can work something out between us.”
It was a standoff between Zona and Mawuli versus the goblin.
Snotbit said, “You two want to fight?! You think you newbies would have a chance against me?! Huh?!”
Mawuli said, “If you kill us, you will never see any of Brandon’s game possessions. But on the other side of the coin, I am not seeing any reason for us to keep you around. I think you need us more than we need you. Basically, you are a worthless thug.”
“That’s right. Besides, you’re ugly,” Zona said.
Snotbit walked over and picked up the bag of coins that was left for John. “For one thing, you losers’ shelf life here is about nothing. And can you really count on someone like that nutjob hacker who is at war with the administrator? Me, on the other hand, I have a body count higher than I could even begin to remember.”
SQUEEEE!
“What the?” Snotbit turned and saw a pack of rampaging wild boars with large tusks running towards them.
“Group together!” Mawuli shouted while holding his club in front of him.
Zona took position at his back while the large hairy half-dozen boars grunted and growled and circled around them. “I am not going to get killed by these pigs! No way!” She fired her magical energy bolt and hit one of the razorbacks directly in the face. It squealed as the burn took effect. It turned and moved away as it snorted, clearly feeling the effects in its eyes.
“Come on, pork chop!” Snotbit yelled as he took a swipe at one with his dagger. The goblin’s short arm caused him to miss the mark by a considerable distance.
Mawuli lunged out at one of the wild pigs, whapping its thick skull with his club. The pig backed up but was not showing any signs of quitting. Zona unleashed another energy blast into another boar’s face with the same result. A boar charged at Snotbit, but before it could bite him, he plunged the dagger to the hilt into its neck. The bloody swine fell off of the dagger and onto the ground. While the stabbed oinker was shaking on the ground, two more ganged up on Zona. To her horror, they were able to bite and tear at her leg with their gnarly tusks. Mawuli was landing hard blows to the body at no effect, but then landed a couple of damaging hits to the head. Zona fell to the ground screaming, but then Snotbit stabbed one in the rump. The surviving boars all gave up the fight and ran away together.
“We won!” Zona said. “We won!” She hopped up with blood streaming down her leg. “I can’t believe it! We won, even without Joe!”
Snotbit said, “Take it easy. It was just some wild boars. No big deal.”
Mawuli said, “We got experience points. Snotbit got the most.”
“Because I actually killed one. Both of you acted like you were afraid to touch them ‘cuz they weren’t kosher or something.” Snotbit laughed at his own joke.
Then one of the two remaining Joe persons glided down to the ground at the trio’s location. “I knew you were in the area, but the other I was not here. We have located Roxzak.”
“Really?!” Zona said, “Where?!”
Joe pointed in a direction and said, “It’s on another continent in Slobbovania.”
Snotbit said, “Great, we’ll never get there. Well, it’s been nice, losers.”
Joe said, “We’ll take you there.”
“Who will?” Mawuli asked.
“My double will be here in another few minutes. Then we will carry you there.”
Snotbit laughed. “I thought you were an android or some other kinda AI. But you said, ‘few minutes’. An android doesn’t talk like that.”
Joe said, “We Lucids were informed by our human stakeholder Milton, that humans often find exact language to be annoying. In other words, human minds would rather not be tasked with considering so many details such as exact times or exact percentages of likelihood that an outcome will take place. Human would rather be given general approximations given by adjectives rather than numerical values, for instance our perception is that a fat chance is near zero; a decent chance is at least 42 percent; a slim chance is less than 12 percent unless it is used with sarcasm, then it is zero. For example, slim and none would be a cue that sarcasm is being used by a human. A realistic chance is about . . .”
Snotbit interrupted, “Yeah, okay, you’re an android. Did this Milton guy ever tell you that long answers are also annoying? Is there a point to all that?”
“When I said a few minutes, I meant two minutes and forty-two seconds.”
Then the other Joe showed up. The newly arrived Joe landed in front of its double. It pulled an object out of its pocket. In its hand it held a rock. A very red rock. Both of the Joes stared at the rock.
Zona asked, “What is that?”
“A rock,” both of the Joes said in unison. Then the Joe put the rock back into its pocket.
“What a touching moment,” Snotbit the goblin said. “Can we go now? I got this month’s rent coming due.”
A Joe said, “You are now our enemy. You cannot go with us.”
Snotbit said, “I’m sorry about that. I changed my ways and now agree with you. The truth must be protected; just like you say.”
One of the Joes said, “Very well then. Humans can change.” Then the android object held both Zona and Snotbit, the two smallest of the three.
The two cloaked characters held the three avatars in their arms and began the flight to the other side of the Slabbovanian VR world.
Zona said, “Are you seriously going to believe this liar? He killed John and the other you. You should ask your other Lucids about him. I mean, really. Don’t you have any biometrics that you use to detect lies? You need to work on that. I can’t believe it.”
“Snotbit laughed and said, “I’m a changed goblin. Let’s all just forget about the past and move on. Can’t we all just be friends now?”
The Joe carrying Snotbit and Zona said, “Yes, we can. We will protect the truth by changing one mind at a time.”
“Wow,” Zona said. “You’re so smart you’re stupid.”