CHAPTER FOUR
I Dreamed of a Teenage Space Lobotomy
I.
“Chuck! Your friends need to go home and you need to clean your room!” Chuck’s mother shouted from the doorway, waking us all up from a deep sleep.
I hopped up from the sleeping bag, and saw Chuck rolling out of his bed.
“But, Mom!” Chuck whined.
“No buts, Mister,” she said. His mom looked at me, and then at Phil, who was making his way into the room. “I’m sorry boys, but I told Chuck he couldn’t have anyone over unless he cleaned. And he didn’t. You’re grounded Chuckles!”
“MOM! Don’t call me that in front of my friends!” Chuck panicked and stood to his feet.
“Well, that’s what you get for disobeying orders,” his mom dropped the bomb and left the doorway.
“Chuckles?” I laughed.
“Shut up, Scout! Please don’t tell anyone about that. Shoes is bad enough.”
I nodded, still laughing. Phil found a piece of pizza from the night before sitting on top of the Xbox, and started to take bites from it.
“I hate cleaning,” Chuck pouted. “It’s for girls. It’s not manly.”
“What about Mr. Clean,” Phil said, chewing the stale slice, “That’s what he does for a living and he’s the manliest guy I know. Have you seen his muscles?”
Neither Chuck nor myself acknowledged Phil’s questionable statement.
“You guys want to help? We can make a game out of it!” Chuck excitingly asked.
Phil shook his head.
“No,” I said. “I have some things I want to do today.” I did. I wanted to try and find out where Mandy lived. I needed to talk to her about what happened yesterday.
“Suit yourself. You guys don’t know what you’re missing,” Chuck said, frustrated.
When I got home, I quickly got onto my computer and searched for Mandy Lee on the Information Super Highway – that’s what they called the Internet back in the olden days. Thankfully there was only one that lived in Kings Town, and it wasn’t too far from me.
I threw on some different clothes, brushed my teeth, and shined my glasses up real nice before heading out.
About three blocks away was the Lee residence. It was a nice house – very modern looking. I walked up to the front door and knocked a couple times. A moment later, Mandy answered the door, and looked shocked to see me.
“Scout? What are you doing here? How did you find out where I lived?”
“The internet,” I replied. There was a moment of awkward silence before she asked again:
“What are you doing here?”
“Well, I was kind of hoping to talk about the random robot attack at the school.”
“Professor Nog said we’re not allowed to talk about it.”
“Yeah, with civilians. But we’re exclusive. We can talk about it with each other, right?”
Mandy nervously glanced behind her, I assume making sure her parents didn’t hear anything. “Meet me at Father Peanuts in ten minutes.”
“Okay,” I smiled as she quickly shut the door in my face. A sharp pain bolted through my head after she was gone, and I grabbed the left side of my face. My headache from this morning was getting worse.
II.
I waited for about fifteen minutes inside Father Peanuts once I got there for Mandy to arrive. When she did, the first thing I noticed was her little sundress. It was nice, and complemented her well. There was a slight flutter in my chest. It was either some kind of medical condition, or just nerves. I kind of liked this girl.
She sat down across from me at our booth. “Okay, what exactly do you want to talk about?”
“I want to know what you thought was happening? Was it like an alien attack or something? Is Professor Nog some kind of government special ops guy? Are we in Area 51? Is it possible for -”
“Scout, stop. Look, I don’t know what exactly happened. Everything is a little fuzzy and I have a pounding headache. Can’t we just do as Professor Nog asked, and not think or talk about it?”
I just kind of stared at her. How could we just ignore it? The giant robot that blew up the hallway was one thing, but I also wanted to know what was in the ‘closet’ in the back of Nog’s classroom. Plus, Bethani? I mean, what the heck does that mean? Another bolt of pain shot through my head, and I cringed this time.
“Are you okay?” Mandy asked.
“Yeah. I’ve just been having these pains in my head today,” I said, shaking off the headache.
That means it’s working, Scout.
“Huh?” I said, wondering who’s echoing voice that was.
“What?” Mandy said.
“I thought you just said something, but like in an old guys voice.”
“Uh, no.”
I did.
“Who did?” I asked, looking around.
“Who did what?” Mandy was lost. So was I really.
“Some guy is talking to me,” I said.
Mandy looked around, but we were pretty much the only ones in Father Peanuts.
Scout stop talking. You look like a fool.
“Who is that?” I asked, nerves kicking in. It sounded sort of like…“Nog?”
That’s Professor Nog. And yes it’s me. Shut up before someone catches on.
“Okay,” I said.
“Okay what?” Mandy asked, confused.
“Um…” I didn’t know what the heck was going on.
Just excuse yourself from the table and come to my classroom. It’s important.
I stood up from the booth and looked at Mandy. “I’m sorry, but I have to go.”
“Okay,” she said concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Uh-huh, yeah. Yup. I’ll see you in class on Monday.”
Mandy smiled but I struggled to get one out. Then I booked it.
III.
I walked all the way to the school, and found the parking lot completely empty. Of course it would be, it was the weekend. Why did Nog want me to be here? Why could I hear him in my head? Could he hear my thoughts? Can you hear my thoughts, Professor?
Nothing.
“Can you hear me now?” I said out loud.
Of course I can.
I got the chills all over my body. This was starting to freak me out. “How can I hear you?”
Just come inside and I will explain everything to you. Open the front door on the far left – it’s the only one unlocked.
I did as the Professor said, and entered the school.
It was a ghost town. I’d never been in a school on the weekend before. The halls were mostly dark, and all I could hear was the hum from the industrial air conditioner. It felt good in here.
I walked the steps to the second floor and ended up in the hallway that sheltered Nog’s classroom. The end of the hall, where the explosions had taken place, was blocked off with caution tape, orange traffic cones, and signs that read: “Under construction. Keep out by order of Principal Smidgeon.”
I approached the classroom door and peered through the small glass window. Professor Nog was sitting at his desk in his lab coat and red tie. I watched him for a moment as he was sorting though sheets of paper. Sitting on his desk next to his coffee mug was a small device. It looked like a gun, only…futuristic. My eyes widened as I threw the door open:
“Is that a laser gun!?” I cried, walking fast towards the mechanism.
“It’s not yours!” Nog yelled, grabbing the gun-like appliance and shoving it in his drawer like some sort of selfish child. I stopped in my tracks and Nog stood up.
“We have a lot of talking to do, Scout,” Nog said, gesturing for me to sit in the chair next to his desk. I took a seat, as did he.
“How can I hear you in my head?” I asked.
“I tracked you down last night at your pals house and did a little brain surgery on you,” Nog said.
My jaw dropped, my eyes widened, and I farted in a bout of nervousness. “Brain surgery?!”
“Let me explain,” Nog leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs up onto his desk:
“I was fired from the University that I use to teach at for trying to subtly warn my students about the dangers of the universe. Not the typical dangers, but specific extra-terrestrial dangers. There are a lot of them out there. My partner, Farrow, and I uncovered dark secrets of the universe and actually made contact with a colony of other worldly beings about 6,500 light years away in the Crab Nebula. I can’t tell you all the details, but simply put, Farrow and I started an intergalactic war with them. The President was informed and started a very small team to try and contain the situation. We’re known as E.I.A.’s, Earth’s Intergalactic Ambassadors. You following me, brotha?” the old man asked.
I nodded without saying a word. It was a lot to take it. Was he even being serious?
“Once in a while, these beings find portals to our planet from theirs and try to destroy all of the information we hold about them, as well as anyone who gets in the way. We struggle sometimes to keep the situation under wraps. Obviously, one of these examples is yesterday when you and Mandy Lee got involved.”
“That thing was an alien?”
“Yeah, and a dangerous one at that. There is a lot we don’t know about them yet.”
Nog uncrossed his legs and sat up in his chair. He continued.
“I dissected your brain, as well as Mandy’s, to try and figure out which one of you would be the best candidate.”
“For what?”
“For joining our team. We like to keep the team at about five or six members max at all times. Were down to five now, including you – Farrow was just reported missing last week. I’m afraid he got wrapped up in some alien stuff and they took him. His neighbor said Farrow’s entire house began to glow red, and then he was gone. ”
“Why me? I’m just a kid.”
“Because you’ve seen too much. Were not Hollywood here, Scout – I can’t just flash your face and wipe your memory clean of this stuff. Mandy seems to have a lot going for her. She’s a straight-A student, a very talented pianist, and is hoping to be a doctor one day. You on the other hand, have nothing going for you. You hang out with nerds and write short stories for fun. I mean, what the heck? This could be your calling, Scout.”
I sat there and pondered it over. My calling? I always dreamed of being a…well, I guess I never really gave any extended thought as to what I wanted to do with my life. Could this really be what I was destined to do? Save humanity from giant aliens? I looked Nog straight in the eye.
“What do I have to do?” I asked.
“I’ll give you all the information you’ll ever need. It’ll be a bit of a process to acquire some good status in the E.I.A. team, but we’ll get you there. There is one rule that you need to follow though. Breaking it could potentially destroy the lives of the people closest to you,” Nog informed me.
I was listening. The more I thought about this, the cooler it sounded! I was going to be a science fiction hero!
Nog continued: “You cannot tell anyone about this. It could be catastrophic if you did.”
“You got it, Professor. But what about Mandy?”
“You leave her to me,” Nog said in a slightly unnecessary maniacal tone.
We were quiet for a moment. “You’re not going to kill her, right?” I asked, concerned.
“Heaven’s no. I’ll figure something out,” Nog said, standing up. “Any more questions, Scout?”
I stood up and faced him. More questions? I had like a thousand more questions. “Um, yeah. What was that button you pressed that made the alien disappear? Did anyone else see or hear the blast or commotion? What’s in your metal door closet back there? Is it a giant human-scorpion hybrid monster? Can there ever be -”
“You certainly ask a lot of questions, guy,” Nog said, annoyed. “Everything you need to know, you’ll eventually know. But for now, take this stuff right here,” he picked up a shoe box-sized black box and handed it to me, “inform yourself, and whatever you do, don’t let this get into the wrong hands. Go home and await further instructions.”
I accepted the box with a question:
“Can you hear my thoughts?”
“Oh yeah, that. It’s a neuro-communications device. I implanted it into your brain so I can communicate with you from anywhere. This job takes you to lost worlds and confusing places. We need to make sure were always in contact. But no, I can’t hear your thoughts. Only when you speak, and that’s only when I have my transmitter turned on. I won’t invade your privacy, Scout.”
I nodded and gripped my hands tight around the box. I turned around and walked out of the classroom. Walking down the hall, I got thinking about the possibilities of this new task I’d acquired. I was like a superhero now. I was going to be involved in a top-secret government task force and blow the crap out of some alien scum!
“This is going to be awesome,” I said out loud to myself.
It’s not a game, Scout.