CHAPTER FIVE
Some Kind of Particle Puff
I.
Over the course of the next week, I was able to read up on and look at all of the top-secret information from the black box that Professor Nog had given me. There was all kinds of information in there. There were protocols, weapon information, known details on the planet Bethani, pictures of robotic aliens and so on. I guess that robotic exterior was just that; space suits of some kind. No one actually knew what the aliens looked like.
It was all so freaking awesome. This was my reality now.
Study hall was winding down, and I was half-tempted to pay Professor Nog a visit after school. After he talked to me last week, he told me to go home and await further instructions. He had yet to contact me; I hadn’t heard him in my head since that day.
He clearly hadn’t figured out what to do with Mandy yet either. I saw her in class each day, but she was always so quiet. She hadn’t said a word to me since we met at Father Peanut’s. It was odd, but I didn’t talk to her either, so whatever.
The bell rang to end school for the day, and I stood up.
“Scout!” Chuck shouted from his seat in the back of the room. I turned and saw him rushing towards me, stumbling a few times over his loose shoelaces.
“What’s up, mang?” I asked.
“Nothing. You’ve been a little distant this week from Phil and I. Are you okay, broseph?”
He was right. I had kind of pushed my friends aside this week. I had a lot on my mind and I had been reading over all of the information Nog gave me. I guess I owed them an apology.
“Yeah,” I said. “I just haven’t been feeling myself. I’m sorry. Do you guys want to hang out this weekend?”
“Sure do. I’ll get with Phil and figure out what we should do. Any suggestions?”
“No.”
“Okay, we’ll figure it out. Hey, can you do me a flavor and help me with something in my locker?”
“A flavor?”
“Yeah. Funny, huh?”
Whatever. I followed Chuck downstairs to his locker. He cautiously cranked in his locker combo so no one else could see, and opened it up. He had a few grocery bags full of what appeared to be shirts in there.
“Can you help me bring these out to my mom’s car? She’s picking me up today,” he asked.
“Sure,” I said, grabbing a few of them. I looked at them carefully. “What are these?”
“Remember my meeting with Jakon last week? Well, it was about this. I just finished them in Home Economics today.”
Chuck set one of the bags down and opened it, pulling out a white t-shirt. He unfolded it and held it out in front of him. “Behold!”
I looked at the shirt, confused. There was a picture of a cartoon turtle on it, which had a mustache. I looked back at Chuck. “I don’t get it.”
“It’s a novelty t-shirt. It doesn’t have to make sense. You put something quirky on these white t-shirts and people will buy them! Jakon is going to sell my line of shirts at the store!”
Chuck was all excited, so I was excited for him. I don’t know who would even really want to wear a shirt like this, but if Jakon saw potential, then whatever. Personally, I thought it was stupid.
“I want you to have the first one,” Chuck said, handing me the shirt.
“Thanks, Chuck,” I said a little too unenthused. I hope he didn’t pick up on it.
“Wear it this weekend when we all hang out. I have one for Philly too.”
I agreed and proceeded to follow him out the front of the school where his mom’s car was. Before we could reach the vehicle, a student walked by rather rapidly and forced his shoulder into Chuck’s, making him drop all of his bags, as well as the books he was carrying under his arm.
“Watch it, Shoes!” the boy exclaimed with laughter.
Chuck stood there fighting the tears that were inevitably coming. This was ridiculous. Why did other kids feel the need to constantly bully us, especially Chuck. This bully had made a name for himself, picking on the weak, the nerds, and just about anyone with some sort of downfall. His name was Radar – Matt Radar. His pals just called him by his last name because I guess they thought it was cool. It was kind of cool though.
Radar appeared to be almost an outcast himself; hanging out with the same people all the time who just echoed his insults. They were obvious henchmen. Radar was more of a skater-type than a popular jock. His goons gathered around and started to kick the bags that had dropped.
“Oops!” Radar loudly cried, generating laughs from his boys.
“Just leave us alone,” I pleaded.
“How about, NO!” Radar said, laughing.
“You’re a jerk,” I said, and then froze in fear. Uh-oh. Was that going to get me a wedgie or something?
Radar got all serious and approached me. It felt like a silence fell over the schoolyard. “What did you call me?”
I didn’t know what to say. If Radar only knew about the weapons I had access too, he’d think twice before messing with me. I could incinerate him, de-materialize him, or just flat out melt him if I wanted to.
“Do you have something to say to me, four-eyes?” Radar asked, dominantly.
It was now or never. “Yeah, leave us alone, and don’t call him Shoes. His name is Chuck, and your little nickname for him is just as lame as you are.”
I felt a nervous fart coming on as I started to back up. Radar was visibly upset. He rolled up the sleeves to his hooded sweatshirt and began to charge up his fists.
Out of nowhere, Chuck must have snapped. He dashed up behind Radar and shoved him. “Get out of here, ya butt!”
Radar swung around fast just as a woman’s voice cried out from somewhere in the schoolyard.
“Chuckles, you’re grounded!” Chuck’s mom came rushing up from the parking lot and grabbed her sons’ arm. “Pick up all these bags and get in the car! No son of mine is going to be involved in schoolyard altercations!”
It seemed that within seconds, Chuck’s mom had all but tossed her son into the backseat of the car and split for home, and the entire schoolyard had erupted in laughter.
Radar looked at me, laughing so hard he was crying. “Whatever, dude. I promise I won’t call him Shoes anymore. Chuckles is by far the superior name!” He turned around and left with his goons.
Chuck was doomed.
II.
I walked down the upstairs hallway in a pretty vacant school. Nog’s room was up on the left, but the door was shut. I approached it slowly and looked through the glass window.
Professor Nog was sitting at his desk, and Principal Smidgeon was sitting in the empty chair next to it. They were chatting about something; must have been important because the door was shut. I tried to read their lips, but I had no luck. How could anyone do that anyway?
I glanced to the back of the classroom and kept my eyes on the large metal door. What was behind it? What was Professor Nog keeping in there that was such a secret? I wondered if Principal Smidgeon knew about it.
I looked back at the two men, and they were both looking in my direction. They saw me! I quickly ducked down below the glass and slid up against the wall. I squatted there nervously for a moment, and then the classroom door opened up.
Principal Smidgeon came out and tightened his tie. He looked down at me and greeted me with a nod, “Scout.”
“Mr. Smidgeon,” I said, standing to my feet. With that, Smidgeon walked away.
“Scout, come in here a minute,” I heard Nog’s voice from inside the room.
I walked in and stood before him at his desk.
“What are you doing outside my classroom, sneaking around like some kind of ninja? Listening to my top-secret conversations like some kind of ninja?” he asked.
“I wasn’t,” I said.
“I told you to await further instructions. That doesn’t mean come looking for them.”
“I just want to know some things.”
“And I told you you’ll learn as you go. It’d be pointless to give you all the information now. There wouldn’t be anything to look forward too.”
I nodded, and then pointed at the door where Smidgeon left. “Does he know?”
Professor Nog stared at me. He wasn’t going to say anything.
“Okay,” I nodded again. “I’ll wait.”
“Thanks, brotha.”
I turned and walked back out the door. I wasn’t only but a few inches into the hallway when I heard a loud buzzing noise emerge from Nog’s room, followed by a sharp static sound. I quickly dashed back into the room where a bright blue light from the back of the room had just diminished.
“What was that?!” I exclaimed with a rush of adrenaline.
“What was what?” Nog was at his desk, calm as could be.
I looked around the room, especially to the back of the room where the metal door was. “I thought I heard some electricity going on in here.”
“Hm. Nope,” Nog said.
I started to smell heat, like something was burning. I glanced back at the metal door once more and saw a very light puff of smoke come out from under the door. I looked back at the Professor. He still wasn’t going to say anything.
Frustrated and intrigued, I left the room again. Something was all up in there, and I couldn’t wait to find out.
III.
Buurrrp.
My throat gurgled and expelled a hint of pork chops as I lay in bed in nothing but a pair of white boxers and my glasses. It was only a little after seven, but I didn’t really have much else to do.
I’d been trying to write a short story for a while, just for fun, but didn’t really have any solid ideas. All of this Intergalactic Ambassador stuff was starting to trigger some little ideas though - maybe a science fiction story?
Knock knock. Someone banged on my door.
It was probably just Mark. I know he had the Badgers over tonight, because they were taking up the entire garage with their music.
“Come on in,” I said casually.
The door opened and the beautiful singer of Red Badger stood there and gasped at my appearance of white boxers and glasses.
“Oh, Kristen!” I shouted unusually loud and I hopped out of bed and grabbed the closest piece of clothing to me, which was unfortunately Chuck’s mustache turtle t-shirt. I threw it on quickly and then stood there in only a shirt and boxers. Getting dressed felt like it was taking forever.
“Sorry, Scout, but you said to come in,” Kristen said, averting her eyes.
“It’s all good in the hood, Kristen,” I said, scrambling for pants and what to say next. I slipped on some gym shorts and tried like crazy to regain my composure. “What’s up?”
“Um,” Kristen said, looking back in my direction now that the coast was clear, “Mark wants you to come to the garage for a minute.”
I nodded rapidly, sweat droplets beading on my forehead. She smiled and then left. How embarrassing. At least it was a girl though and not a dude. Maybe she feels like she saw me in a very vulnerable and intimate state. Maybe Kristen and I just had a moment. I smiled as dirty thoughts took over my brain.
I walked into the garage where Red Badger was standing around. The drums were set up and all the guitars were leaning against a wall of Christmas decoration boxes. The band was all huddled around a small table where Mark was frantically scratching down words on a notepad.
Kristen looked up and smiled at me. “Hey, Scout.”
Aw yeah, she’s definitely into me. Maybe I’ll have to pursue this. I smiled back.
“Scout, thank God you’re here,” Mark said, picking up the piece of paper. “You have to let us know how the song’s coming. Places everyone!”
Mark and Blane grabbed their guitars and did a quick tune-up. Kristen stepped up to the microphone and Leo sat on a milk crate behind the drums.
“One! Two! Three!” Mark yelled before strumming speedily on his guitar.
Leo began to pummel the drums in every direction and Blane lightly plucked his bass. Kristen hummed for a minute into the microphone before she started singing: “Here we are, the ones who own you, the ones who need you, the ones you bow to!”
There was a small break in the lyrics and the band played their music loudly and uncoordinatedly. I cringed and tried my hardest not to cover my ears. Kristen continued with screaming:
“Bow to us, oh, acidic ones! We’re just starting to have some fun! We don’t need no rest! Because we eat CHICKEN FOR BREAKFAST!”
The music and singing all came to an abrupt end, which caused a loud squealing dose of feedback to emerge from the amps. Once it settled, I was at a loss for words.
“What do you think, Scout?” Mark asked with the biggest smile ever on his face.
I didn’t know what to say. It was terrible - horrific in every possible way.
“The Acidic Chicken’s aren’t going to know what hit them!” Leo yelled as he slammed on the drums for a second. Red Badger busted out into a rowdy celebration.
“Thanks for scoping us out, Scout!” Mark cried and then started to strum his guitar again. “Again Badgers!”
Before they had a chance to start playing again, I bolted out of the garage.
IV.
Saturday afternoon I met Chuck and Phil at Father Peanuts. We sat around eating their signature peanut butter sandwiches and sucking down some frosty chocolate milkshakes.
“So I think I know what your problem has been, Scout,” Chuck said. I looked at him; he genuinely looked concerned. I shot a glance at Phil who appeared just as worried. Was this some kind of intervention? Did they know about the aliens?
“Huh?” I said, trying to play it off.
“You’re having some girl issues,” Chuck said. “Some female troubles? A babe dilemma?”
“Are you guys serious?” I asked.
“More than serious, Scout,” Phil finally spoke up. “We’ve been noticing your babe.”
“My…babe?”
“Mandy Lee ring any bells?” Chuck asked.
What did they know?
“So…did she jump your bones?” Phil asked.
“Huh? I don’t even know what that means.”
“Did you jump her bones?” he tried again.
“I still don’t know what that means. So no. Guys, can we not talk about Mandy?” I asked.
Chuck leaned back in the booth and slurped down a large gulp of shake. “Not an option. She’s on her way.”
“What?” I shrieked, looking around the café. This wasn’t good. Mandy and I shouldn’t be in the same place at the same time. There were too many secrets that could spill out.
“There she is now,” Phil pointed to the entrance where Mandy was walking in. She looked around, spotted us, and hesitantly made her way over.
Chuck and Phil stood up as Mandy reached the table.
“Well, looks like we’ll be hitting the road, Scout,” Chuck said, not even trying to be subtle.
“Yup,” Phil added with a stretch and a yawn, “we’re hitting the old dusty trail. Mind paying for our lunches, Scout?”
My God, what a couple of ridiculous friends I had. “Yes, actually, I do mind,” I said, irritated.
“Thanks, big guy,” Phil said, and walked away with Chuck. Idiots.
Mandy sat down across from me at the booth.
“That’s nice of you to pick up the tab, Scout,” she said with a friendly smile.
“It’s what I do.”
“So what’s up? Chuck and Phil asked me to meet you here for some reason. I’m assuming they don’t know everything, so what’s this about?”
“I’m not sure. They might be trying to play matchmaker or something,” I said, taking the last bite of my sandwich and licking the peanut butter that was buffed up on my lips.
“Oh,” Mandy smiled again, this time a little bigger. “Do you want to take a walk?”
I tried to finish chewing as fast as I could. A walk with Mandy? How could I pass that up? “Sure!”
We headed for the park and ended up on one of the walking trails. We walked and talked for a good thirty minutes or so about our interests and personalities. We seemed to be connecting; it was a good feeling.
The walking trail took us into a wooded area where the coolness from all the trees and shade refreshed us. We sat down on a bench that was just off the trail and the inevitable came into conversation.
“What’s going on with Professor Nog?” she asked. “Should we be afraid? I mean, I am afraid. I never thought anything like this was real.”
I didn’t want to say too much in order to protect the secrets that Nog had been telling me, but I had to say something:
“I’m sure Nog is taking care of it. I wouldn’t worry if I were you.”
“That’s Professor Nog.,” Mandy said, mocking Nog with a deeper voice. She immediately laughed at herself. I couldn’t help but smile; Mandy was great.
“I like you, Scout.”
Aw yeah! A girl actually liked me! This was uncharted territory. What do I do now? Tell her I like her? Hug her? Kiss her? Make out with her ‘til the sun comes up?
Duck, Scout!
What the? “Nog?”
DUCK!
Without another second of hesitation, I leapt onto Mandy and shielded her on the forest floor. I heard a loud familiar blasting sound and looked up just in time to see a bright green laser beam burn through the tree that was next to us.
“Stay down,” I told Mandy, and I looked back to see where the laser came from.
Another giant, seven foot tall robotic alien creature stood there on the walking trail. It looked identical to the one at the school. It held the smoking laser gun out in front of it. It was a huge gun - massive on every level; it was awesome!
“STAND UP,” the being stated in a very robotic tone. I listened, hoping that the next laser beam wouldn’t burn through my face.
“STAND UP,” it repeated. I looked down to Mandy.
“Stand up, Mandy,” I told her, my voice trembling. She stood up slowly, scared and crying.
With its’ other arm, the being held up a different weapon. This one was shorter and fatter with a large opening on the front of it. He aimed it right at Mandy.
“No!” I yelled, just as the alien pulled the trigger. A bright red beam shot out of it and impaled Mandy, who started to glow a pulsating red hue. Within seconds, POOF! Mandy imploded into a dusty demise; some kind of particle puff and she was gone without a trace. My eyes were wide. I couldn’t believe what I just saw! Mandy had been eliminated before my very eyes! This can’t be!
“Scout! Get the heck up outta here!” Nog’s voice was coming from near by. I looked up at the robot and saw Professor Nog running up the trail behind it, packing heat.
“Professor!” I called out. The robot acknowledged the disturbance and turned around, facing the charging and erratic high school astronomy teacher who was holding out some sort of futuristic weapon.
“Suck on this you pile of space crap!” Nog needlessly shouted as he opened fire. Nog’s gun was awesome, shooting tiny little sharp lasers at a machine guns’ pace. The lasers rapidly pierced the robots exterior and blew it up. A fireball came rushing towards me, so I hit the deck, dodging it as well as flying pieces of deadly metal debris.
The metal shards hit the ground all around me, and when everything quieted down, I rolled over and sat up. Nog was standing in the middle of the walking trail, holding his smoking gun. Scorching pieces of the creature were scattered, and dark green blood had been splashed in every direction, covering everything.