"The Earth is only 6000 years old. It's a fact, and you can take it to the bank," said Pastor Kent Fredrick, as he pointed to the exhibit's Earth model. The planet mock-up was fully formed by God, and ready to go. All of the continents were in their current location, thought they were difficult to detect in the darkness. The Pastor continued, as the model began to change. "As you can see in this representation, the Earth was formed by God, and it was in darkness. God created the light and moved his spirit over it. Then, he created the sun and the moon. He made man and woman, then the heavens. It all here to see, right out of the Bible."
The globe became brighter, and the green Earth could be seen in all of its glory.
"I thought the Earth was flat?" said a man in the rear. He was ignored, for the most part.
"You can see it right here son. The Sun revolves around the Earth," came a voice from the side.
The Pastor said, "I don't understand why some people question any of this, or believe in any of that evolution nonsense. Creation by God is a fact, and all the evidence is right before us."
The Pastor led his congregation along to the next exhibit. Several other intrigued museum visitors followed the great man. The Pastor was rather frail and walked with a bit of shuffle. He nearly fell several times. His entourage politely followed along.
The next magnificent exhibit in this museum featured a happy cave couple petting a dinosaur. The couple wore perfect designer fur, which discreetly covered up every offensive area. This included the belly button. The cave couple was clean, and relatively well groomed, though the man's beard was slightly long. They were white; naturally. So were Adam and Eve, featured in a display down the hall.
The Pastor said, "As you can clearly see, man and woman lived alongside the dinosaurs. It's as clear as the nose on my face."
The crowd was clearly awed by the exhibit.
"So, this is how things were in olden times," said a woman with an eye patch. She was momentarily startled by the giant flying dinosaur animatronic. The thing came down and landed next to the caveman. The cave man robot came to life, and gently pet the dinosaur. The dinosaur emitted a purring sound, then flew off again. The woman with the eye patch said, "I don't know why some people think dinosaurs were scary. You can see how well that got along with people."
The Pastor led his flock to the another exhibit. He said, "You can see the proof right here. Evolution is absolutely false."
The plaque on the display read, "Evolution is scientifically impossible." The giant sign proclaimed: "There is overwhelming evidence that evolution is false. There is a lack of transitional fossils. Lack of a missing link. Carbon dating is wrong and fails to show anything older than 6000 years. Nobody has ever observed macroevolution take place. If evolution were happening right now, there would be millions of creatures with partially developed organs. Evolutionists simply cannot explain why our planet can support life. If humans are millions of years old, then where are all the bodies? DNA is a code. Therefore, it had to be designed by someone. God created animals, insects, and plants with the ability to adapt to different environments. Radioactive dating isn't reliable because it yields different results every time." The presentation also debunked the big bang theory, "You can't get something from nothing."
After taking in the enlightenment of the presentation, the Pastor led his flock into the exhibit which revealed the true origin of the species; Genesis.
The Smith family followed the Pastor's group for a few minutes, as they took in the man's comprehensive knowledge of history and science. John and Mary Smith were the personifications of the perfect Christian couple. They both possessed blonde hair, which was always perfect. Their ten-year-old son David shared their good looks. They ceased following the Preacher because their son found something even more interesting.
David Smith cried out, "Look, they have a dinosaur petting zoo."
That was it, David was off. A moment later, he went to pet a small animatronic dinosaur. The creature made purring sounds, just like a cat. A much larger dinosaur proceeded to lick him. The Raptors were David's favorite. One of them ran up to him, then rubbed against his side. Part of the Raptor's neck was damaged, and the wires underneath were exposed. David failed to notice or didn't care.
"Mom, dad, I love this place," screamed little David.
John and Mary smiled on, as their son had the time of his life. John pulled out the museum's guidebook. The cover featured the warm greeting, "Welcome to the Ark of Love and Hope Museum of Creation. The lies of evolution are revealed here, as well as the true story of God's creation."
John said, "I'd love to see the exhibit for Noah's ark."
"Sounds swell," said Mary.
The family made their way over to the ark exhibit. The attraction was mobbed, so they had to wait a few minutes. The exhibit covered every aspect of ark history. As with all the exhibits, the animatronics were first rate. Animals traveled on logs through the ocean, as they made their way over to the ark. The caption under it read, "Animals from all over the world traveled on logs so they could reach the ark, and safety. Two from each species were summoned for the mission."
The family studied the exhibit for over an hour. They were mesmerized by the animatronic animals journey to the ark. Two by two, the animals entered. After a while, the flood waters came and began to lift the ark up. Some stragglers arrived on log rafts. The two bear representatives were the final animals to enter the ark. They secured the hatch behind them. The rain intensified, and powerful waves struck the ark. The raft containing the two unicorns arrived. They banged furiously at the hatch, but it was too late. The water grew higher and capsized the unicorns. The water moved the ark along, as it sailed for about a minute. The water gradually dissipated, and the ark landed on dry ground. The hatch opened, and all the animals politely exited the vehicle. Noah stepped out, and said, "Now we begin again." A few seconds later, the exhibit reset and started from the beginning.
David said, "This is so amazing. I wish I could see the ark for real."
A voice came from behind the family, "Maybe you can son."
The family turned. A late middle-aged man stood before them. He was rather tall and thin, with a full head of gray hair.
"I'm Terrence J. Laurence, the founder of this museum," said the man before them.
The Smith family stood spellbound, as they marveled at the great man.
David said, "Really, you made all of this all yourself?"
Terrence laughed, as he replied, "No, only God could accomplish anything that divine himself. I had the help of many volunteers, as well as God himself." Terrence bent down, and faced David. He looked the little boy in the eye, and said, "When I was your age, I faced a major dilemma. The government teachers taught me that evolution created us, and not God."
"That's silly, everyone knows God created us," said David.
Terrence rubbed David's hair, and said, "I see your parents taught you well. I wasn't that lucky. My parents wanted me to learn the government based nonsense so I could get ahead in life. I got ahead just fine without it. I am very wealthy, and I owe everything to God."
Mary finally emerged from her awe induced catatonia, and said, "David, Mr. Laurence is the man who designed all of those Bible toys you love. He's the one who wrote that best-selling book proving Darwin wrong, and he produced the movie version. He's the most amazing Christian on Earth."
Terrence put up a hand, and said, "You flatter me too much madam. God guided me the whole way. He took this pathetic sinner, and turned him into his holy messenger."
Mary cried out, "But you built all of this. This is the most amazing place I have ever seen. This illustrates everything in your book, and how God is the only creator."
Mary pointed to piece of radioactive dating equipment. The device was hooked up to a Bible. The display indicated, "The object is_ years old." The date kept changing. It showed the Bible as being Five thousand years old, then twenty years old, then two hundred thirty years old, then one million years old, then five years old. It continued to give a different age every time. The sign above the exhibit indicated, "All dating methods show a different age every time. Trust the Lord, and not science."
John said, "This place is so educational. I never knew that the dinosaurs were all vegetarians. I always wondered why they didn't eat people."
Mary said, "I never knew weeds started after the garden of Eden. I could spend a lifetime getting smarter in here."
Terrence waved his arms and pointed at his handiwork. He said, "These facts are all about us. The socialist Democrats, Liberals, and Atheists forced evolution and all of that false science on us all."
David asked Terrence, "Can I have your autograph?"
"Sure you can son," replied Terrence. He took out a picture of himself from his suit pocket and signed it.
David cried, "Wow. I can't believe this."
John said, "Well, I think we've taken up enough of Mr. Laurence's time, and we still have a lot to see."
Terrence erected an enormous smile, and said, "You know, I do have a new exhibit that only my inner circle have seen. It's a full-size replica of the original Noah's ark." He put a hand on David's shoulder, and said, "I can show you if your parents will permit me." He gave the couple a voucher, and said, "Please have lunch in our Creation Restaurant on me. I'll look after David, and give you a chance to relax."
"Oh, that is just too much. You've already been so generous with your time," said Mary.
Terrence waved a hand, and said, "Please, you're helping me out. I want to get a child's perspective of this exhibit. Please, enjoy the free lunch. We have two-pound lobsters in the restaurant. Order anything you want, free of charge. It's just my way of thanking you for David's help."
John shook Terrence's hand, and said, "Thank you, sir. You're as generous as everyone says."
Terrence said, "Enjoy your lunch. David and I will meet you there in an hour, I'll have the chief whip up some special kids food for David." He put a firm hand on David's shoulder and smiled at the boy.
John and Mary enjoyed $80 worth of free lobster while reading the Leviticus quotes on the tablecloth. All of the staff were dressed as angels, though some of the tattoos destroyed the illusion. Every table had a water pitcher with a miniature ark floating on the top. Animatronic dinosaurs walked in between the tables. The ceiling consisted of a series of monitors and featured moving heavenly clouds. From time to time, an angel could be seen flying.
"I wish we had a place like this around us," said David's mom.
Terrence led David through the secret behind the scenes tour of the inner workings of the museum. David was a bit dismayed when he saw the control set up for the dinosaurs. Terrence ushered David out the rear door, and into the backyard. The exterior was a bit unkept. Old discarded wood and other garbage littered the enormous space, which was at least twenty acres in size. One object lay In the middle of this mess: A giant ark. This was an exact duplicate of the Biblical ark that Noah piloted. There were some modern supports, keeping the boat up and in place. Two walkways led to the main deck, and several walkways ran into the side of the ship. These side walkways were considerably long and ran all the way over to a private area behind the museum.
"Is this the original ark?" asked David.
Terrence laughed, and replied, "No, don't be silly. The original Ark was buried in Turkey, but that Muslim government won't allow us access to it." Terrence brought David closer to the object. He said, "This is a brand new Ark. I had a vision last year. It showed me proof that another flood is coming this very month. That so-called global warming was just God setting everything up. " Terrence put his arms to the heavens and closed his eyes. He screamed, "God confirmed all of this to me, while I was semi-conscious during a dental procedure."
David said, "Wow. So, who is going to be saved this time?"
Terrence replied, "Like the original Ark, I can only bring my family. Since I'm a bachelor, I'll be bringing just my Sister's family and myself." He looked down at David, and said, "I could make an exception to that."
David smiled, and said, "God would save my family? That would be so awesome. The kids in school will be so jealous." David stared at the Ark for a bit, then asked, "What about the animals?"
Terrence replied, "They are all in my private zoo, a short distance from here. I have two of every major species. Obviously, I can't bring every variation. Just two of each type. God will sort it all out later."
Terrence led the boy up a long walkway, and onto the ark. David ran all over the top deck for several minutes, as he screamed with joy.
"Want to see the inside?" asked Terrence.
"Boy, would I ever," replied David.
Terrence walked David through the interior of the ark. There was a small residential area consisting of several rooms and a kitchen. Everything was constructed of wood, and very rustic. Even the beds were wooden. There were no decorations, or amenities, except for twelve crosses.
Terrence showed David numerous empty animal stalls.
"These larger rooms are for the cows, horses, and elephants. I'll be ready to go the moment God starts the flood up again," said Terrence. He rubbed the boy's hair, and said, "I think it's time we got you back to your parents."
David's parents were enjoying an expensive baked Alaska dessert when they noticed Terrence entering the restaurant alone.
Terrence was disheveled, and blood poured from his forehead. He screamed, "Help; somebody help me."
Several security guards came to Terrence's aid, as he collapsed onto the floor.
Terrence looked to David's parents, and said, "I'm sorry, I'm just so sorry."
David's mother screamed.
An hour later, a detective was questioning Terrence, "Ok, let me get this straight. You were returning to the museum, after showing the boy your boat. Then, two Mexicans struck you, and ran off with the kid."
Terrence cried, "Yes, dear Lord. One of them grabbed the boy. I tried to fight him off, but he struck me into unconscious with a wooden board. When I awoke, they were gone. They took the boy, and they robbed me. My wallet and gold cross are gone."
"How do you know they were Mexicans?" asked the detective.
"Because they were speaking Mexican," replied Terrence.
The detective asked, "Don't you have some kind of surveillance equipment here?"
Terrence cried, "This is a holy place. I saw no need." He looked up to the giant cross occupying the center of the restaurant, and said, "This is another sign that the end is near: The loss of an innocent child."
The entire room broke into tears, except the detective.
"Would you be able to describe your attackers to a police sketch artist?" asked the detective.
"I'll try, but honestly, they all look the same," said Terrence.
The boy's parents paused their grief and approached Terrence. "It wasn't your fault. I thank you for trying," said the boy's father.
Terrence attempted to smile, then went back into tears.
Two weeks later:
Terrence imparted his wisdom to the eager audience before him, "...And these photos are the proof that Noah's ark was real. As you can see, the rocks are clearly in the shape of the ark's front. Those rocks on the side are the support beams. These are clearly the fossil remains of the ark. If Atheists can claim their fossils show the truth, so can I. Now, if you look over here, you can see the sonar taken over the site. It clearly shows rows of metal, and the nails used to hold the ship together. This is undoubtedly the remains of the ark. Unfortunately, the Turkish government will not let us dig. The fact is: Scientists never want to uncover the truth."
A woman in the rear asked, "When is your real life size ark going to be open to the public?" Her face was red and cracked. She had obviously been in the sun a little too long.
Terrence smiled at the lady. It made her year. He said, "It's going to take a little time. We have to find a way to get all of the animals on the ark every day, so everything is authentic, and then get them off, so they can run free at night."
The woman in the rear said, "I can't wait. It sounds heavenly." She proceeded to itch her peeling skin.
Among the gathered, were a group of Hasidic Jews. One of them said, "Your Ark presentation is amazing sir. It is accurate in every way. Thank you for acknowledging our mutual heritage."
"Thank you. I strive for accuracy in every detail. We all follow the same God in the end. I hope my work can bring people together again," said Terrence.
"You are a true messenger of God," said the Jewish man, as the group wandered into the Genesis section.
Terrence said, "I must go now. Jen will take you through the rest of the exhibits. Thank you for your time, and thank you for coming to my museum." He smiled and waved before retreating. The crowd provided a round of applauds.
David's parents were standing by the door of Terrence's office.
David's dad said, "Sorry to trouble you Mr. Laurence, but it's the two week anniversary of David's disappearance."
Terrence said, "I'm so sorry. I haven't had a good night's sleep since it happened. Is there anything else I can do?" He rubbed the still healing wound to his head for dramatic effect.
David's father said, "We were hoping you could pray with us."
Terrence replied, "Yes, certainly."
The three prayed a while. It accomplished nothing.
After the praying concluded, David handed the couple a coupon, and said, "Why don't you go to the cafeteria, and have a good meal. It's the least I can do,"
David's mother said, "Oh bless you. Thank you so much for all you have done already. We really appreciate you going on TV for us, and posting the reward money."
"I still feel like it was my fault. I'll continue to do whatever I can," said Terrence.
Outside, a storm began to rage.
Terrence said, "Better hurry with your lunch. It's going to be a nasty storm tonight."
David's father said, "They think it might turn into a hurricane."
Terrence owned both the museum and the two residential houses next to it. He lived in one house, and his sister's family in the other one. Both homes were considerably upscale.
That night, Terrence had some difficulty sleeping. The visits from the police didn't help.
"Officer, we are just fine here. God will protect us," said Terrence.
The rain-weary officer said, "What if he chooses not to help you? You're in a Low-lying area here. This whole complex can go under water in less than an hour. Once that main road floods, you'll have no way out of here."
Terrence displayed a blank expression. He said, "Officer, I have an ark in the backyard. I'm not worried about flooding."
"No way," said the officer.
"Go check for yourself, if you don't believe me," said Terrence.
The office wandered into the backyard of the museum. Five minutes later, Terrence returned.
"Jesus Christ, you weren't kidding. You do have an ark," said the officer.
The police finally left Terrence in peace.
An hour later, a giant bolt of lightning interrupted Terrence's sleep. He stirred, then sat up. A large older man with a beard stood at the end of his bed.
A voice called out in the dark, "Terrence, you are God's chosen, Just as I was." "Noah, is that you?" asked Terrence.
"Yes, I have returned to give you a message from God. You have built the ark to God's exact specifications and gathered two of every animal group. You did mess up on the ferrets, but I think God will forgive that. Your decedents will just have to settle for house cats."
"Is this storm the second flood?" asked Terrence.
"It saddens me to tell you, but this is the second flood. Man's sins have angered God once again. It is now time to get your family onto the ark, along with those animals. God is only sparing your family because they and you are the only one's worthy."
Terrence awoke upon hearing the next round of thunder.
"How did I fall back asleep? Where is Noah?" asked Terrance, to the empty room. He reached for the bed light. It failed to operate, and the ten commandments clock by his bed was out. "When did the power go out?" he asked the darkness.
Terrence threw on some clothes, then bolted out of the house. The storm raged on, as it became a full-fledged hurricane. The main road was now completely flooded, and the water was rising to a dangerous level. Terrence ran to his sister's house and banged furiously at the front door.
Terrence's son in law Mathew opened the door, and said, "Terrence, it's very late. What's wrong?"
Terrence said, as he caught his breath, "We have to go right now."
"Go where?" asked Mathew.
Terrence replied, "Noah came to me in a vision. He told me that this was no normal storm. This is it. This is a world-wide storm, and it will bring the second great flood. There is little time, so get the family moving."
Mathew looked to the sky, and said, "Thank you for choosing our family Lord."
Terrence's daughter Lynn came to the door, "What is it, dad?"
Terrence repeated the tale, and added, "We must get the animals onto the ark, and get our food onto it."
Terrence's seventeen-year-old niece Cindy came to the door. She wore a tee-shirt promoting some hard rock band and torn pajama bottoms. She screamed, "Uncle Terrence is a senile old goat. It's only a hurricane, and it caused a power outage. I did suggest that we evacuate, as the police advised us to do. Like always, nobody in this family ever listens to me."
Terrence said, "Sweetie, it's the end of the world, but we are saved."
"I'll only be saved when I go to college and get away from this screwed up family for good," replied Cindy.
Mathew called out, "Larry, get your ass out of bed. Your uncle is here, and he said it's time to get onto the ark."
Fifteen-year-old Larry came out of his room half dazed. He was rather unkept, and his nighttime pimples were particularly pronounced. Larry wore a nightshirt with Jesus on it. He asked, "Can't we wait until morning?"
"Not if we want to be saved," said Terrence.
Over the next two hours, the family loaded the ark. The water level continued to rise and began to flood both the museum and the family homes.
Cindy called out, "This is all bull."
"The only bull here is the one I am trying to get on this boat. Stop your nonsense, and join in. You are part of this family, and part of the saved. Act like it," said her father Mathew.
The family loaded the remainder of the animals. Every animal habitat in the zoo had its own wooden path, which led directly to holding area for each particular species type. Terrence opened the all of the holding zones by a battery powered remote, which opened the battery powered gates. Some loud and unpleasant sounds followed, which persuaded the animals down the path. After a group of animals reached their proper home, Terrence, Mathew, and Larry secured the side of the ark, locking the animals in.
The family was drenched, as the storm raged. Water was now flooding all of the buildings on the property.
"You're gonna have some water damage to your museum," said Cindy.
"You think?" replied brother Larry.
Terrence put his arms to the rain-filled sky, and screamed, "Thank you, dear Lord. You chose our family to save, above all others. We are good Christians, and we will make you proud." He turned to his family, and said, "It is time. Everyone onto the ark."
The family stood on the bridge section of the ark and watched the rain intensify. An odd sound filled the air. The family strained to see the source.
"Here it comes. God's hand is about to bring the second great flood," said Terrence.
A moment later, there was a sudden wave of water from the West. In an instant, the museum and both houses were completely under water.
"Damn it. I knew I should have brought more of my clothes," said Cindy.
Not long after that, the ark began to rise, as the water level increased. By daybreak, the ark was freely floating. Water covered the horizon as far as anyone could see.
"Noah and God were right. Praise them. We've been spared the second great flood," said Terrence.
"Holy crap, we could have died in there. Next time, listen to me when I suggest we evacuate," said Cindy. After a moment, she asked, "There are a lot of boats in the world. Why don't we see any?"
Terrence replied, "The ark has holy properties. God has sunk every other boat."
Cindy said, "That was dumb." She pulled her smartphone out, then called out, "I have no signal."
"You never will again. All of those evils are behind us now," said Terrence.
"I hope my boyfriend Kevin made it to safety," said Cindy.
Terrence put a hand on her shoulder, and said, "I'm sorry dear, but everyone you have ever known is dead, except for your family."
Cindy pushed her uncle's hand off of her and gasped a cry. Lynn attempted to provide comfort. Cindy pushed her away.
"Kevin can't be dead, and I can't be stuck with just you. I was counting the days till I left for college, and got away from the insanity. Now, if you're somehow right, I'm stuck with you forever," cried Cindy.
Terrence said, "Your boyfriend is now in heaven. Maybe he is better off than us, maybe not. We have a great adventure ahead. We get to rebuild an entire world."
"I miss the old one already. I'll never get to see part three of the 'Vampire adventures in love'. I wish I knew how it was going to end," said Cindy.
Larry joined in on the crying, followed by both parents.
Night fell, and the family retired to their private bedrooms.
Cindy called out to the empty room, "Jesus Christ, why didn't that idiot bring some mattresses and pillows?"
The next day, the family stared out into the vast body of water and prayed.
The following day's lunch consisted of the last of the fresh food. It was all dry crap from here on out.
"Thank you again dear God," said Terrence, before digging into his meal.
Cindy raised a hand, and asked, "A stupid question: How are the animals going to eat?"
Terrence said, "They don't need to. God will provide for them. Even after we leave the Ark, he will continue to do so, until the populations have grown enough for them to hunt normally. After we reach dry land, he will provide some fruits and vegetables, until we can grow our own. We can't eat any meat until the animal population renews."
"Shouldn't we be protected the same way the animals are? Why do we still need to eat?" asked Cindy.
"It doesn't work like that. As humans, we have to keep doing for ourselves," said Terrence.
Brother Larry said, "Stop asking Uncle Terrence so many questions, he's doing the best he can."
"He and God saved us, sweetie. You must have some faith," said mother, Lynn.
Cindy ate some of her food, then grimaced at the taste of it. She said, "Just one last question for today. What are we going to do when the water settles, and we get back on land?"
Terrence smiled, and said, "That is God's main plan. Once before the world was destroyed by flood, and purified by water. He has done so again. We are chosen. We will have to repopulate the Earth."
Cindy looked about, winced, then asked, "How are we going to do that? It's just us unless some other people survived. I would say mom and dad could do it, but mom had a hysterectomy last year."
Her mother grimaced at that.
Terrence shook his head, and said, "There are no other saved people. We are it; period."
Cindy asked, "Then how are we going to procreate without out other people?"
Terrence pointed to the two siblings.
Cindy said, "I get that. We both must get married, and have families on our own. We would still need other people to do that."
Terrence said, "You both have someone you can procreate with."
Cindy looked around, and asked, "Who? Do you have some other people around that I don't know about?"
Terrence pointed at the two siblings again. Larry turned white, while Cindy turned red.
"No God damn way!" screamed Cindy.
"Watch your language. The Lord just saved you because of your purity," said Lynn.
Cindy screamed, "I won't watch my God damn language. Let God strike me dead here and now. I would die before I had sex with my own brother. Don't you people have any decency?"
Larry glanced about in a confused state. He said, "You are joking, right?"
Terrence said, "We cannot question God's will. If you don't mate, the human race will die. If you refuse your brother, there is always your father or me."
Cindy's father Mathew fell out of his chair. He landed with a slight cracking sound, and a moan.
Cindy screamed, "You're all mad. I'm done here." She bolted out of the common area and headed for the main deck of the ark.
Terrence said, "Just give her a little time. She'll come around in the end. We need to re-read the part of the Bible dealing with the original Ark. All of our answers are there."
Larry remained still. A blank expression was plastered on his face. He said, "I always dreamed of doing it with some girl at school, but none of them would even look at me. But my sister? I can't stand the bitch.