6 Ways to Sunday, How to Cope with Relathionship Breakups by Terry Clark - HTML preview

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Do not be prejudiced about other people, even though you have been through a relationship break-up. Your ex was not perfect and ended up hurting you. This does not mean that a person you are dating will be the same and/or do the same things. In general, you should not rely on cliches about people. Every person is different and should be seen as such. Try not to make comparisons. Try to find the best in people. If this happens you will always find someone whom you like and who likes you too.

 

Should You Communicate with Your Ex?

 

You are sitting alone at home and you see something on TV that your ex will find fun. You wish you could share this with them. Should you call them? In moments like these, you need to rely on impartial advice on how to cope with a relationship break-up. Read on to find out how to communicate with your ex and why you should do this in order to recover more quickly after the split.

 

Try to avoid talking to your ex. Do not call or seek a chance to meet them. If you have to communicate for some reason, you should try to make it as formal as possible. Not following these simple rules can only hurt you even more and make it more difficult for you to cope with the relationship break-up.

 

You are certainly thinking that this not contacting and talking to your ex is impossible to achieve because you feel strong urges to do it. However, the reality is that you can be much stronger than you think. It is all about the viewpoint you adopt and how well you control your emotions.

 

You are in a situation in which you want to call your or ex or they call you and suggest a meeting. Ask yourself why you need to talk to your partner. You have already broken up and it is clear that both of you cannot be happy in this relationship. At the moment you are feeling down and so is your ex. Can this really fix things between you? The answer is "no". If you could not fix things while you were together, then would you be able to fix things now?

 

Right after a relationship break-up, you are full of negative emotions which can easily come to the surface if you talk to your ex. This will make you feel even worse. That is why you should turn to your friends and relatives, rather than your ex. Join a group of single friends.

 

Many people decide to call their ex when they feel they have a chance to get together and fix things to start a new and better relationship. Regrettably, this is highly unlikely to happen given the bitterness after the split. That is why you should let both of you recover and analyze your relationship.

 

Give yourself some time to think about the things you need and want. Just do not sit at home waiting to get back together with your ex partner. Start a new life and with time, you will find out whether your ex may have a place in it.

 

Should You Consider Getting Back with Your Ex?

 

You have just split up with your partner. It is normal for you to be confused and to look for the best way to cope with the relationship break-up. It is also normal for you to feel down about your future without your partner. Does this mean you should try to get back together with them? Is this a viable option? Use the following advice to answer such questions and cope with such issues.

 

The first thing you need to do is to accept the split as final. It does not matter what has happened. It does not matter who initiated the relationship break-up. You are no longer with your ex partner. You are single and free to do whatever you want with your life.

 

It may be hard for you to accept these facts and especially to modify your life to the new situation. That is why you should establish some important rules. Not contacting your ex should be the first and most important rule that you should keep. You have to get used to the fact that your partner is no longer around you and that they are not the closest person to you. If you need advice and support, you should resort to your friends and relatives.

 

In general, it is a good idea for you to establish a daily routine that corresponds to your life as a single. Make more time for enjoying your favorite hobby and for going out with friends. Consider dating as an option, at a later state of the recovery process after the relationship break-up.

 

Basically, the idea is to give yourself a break from your ex trying to think as little about them as possible. In this way, you will be able to recover from the negative emotions that you experience. In turn, you will have to the opportunity to go over the things that happened and draw impartial conclusions. This will allow you to decide whether you may consider getting back with your ex as an option.

 

Analyze your relationship with your ex objectively. This is the best thing you can do to find out what went wrong and whether it may be fixed. Just do not think about the things you could have done differently. Try to find out whether they are the right person for you. Figure out whether you are able and willing to make some changes in the future.

 

Finally, if you consider getting back with your ex after the relationship break-up make sure they are ready and willing to change too.

 

Should You Stay Friends with Your Ex?

 

A relationship break-up is usually a very complex and confusing situation. The change is often abrupt and hard to go through even if you have seen it coming for some time. There are a lot of paths you can take in such a situation. Is staying friends with your ex one of them? Is this a good idea? Will this make you feel better? Read on to find out the answers.

 

The reality is that you and your ex cannot turn from partners to friends overnight. Even if a relationship break-up was amicable and you decided to "stay friends", this does not mean that things will be the same as before only without the intimacy.  This is because you will certainly experience negative emotions after the split.

 

In addition, you will have to accept the fact that your ex partner will not be part of your life in the same way as before. You will not meet that often. You will not share and go out together that much. Sooner or later, you will have to accept the fact that your ex will be with someone else. If you stay friends you have to be supportive and understanding, but you will most likely not feel that way.

 

Just ask yourself what reasons you have to stay friends with your ex after the relationship break-up. Now you know what you can expect to get from doing this. In general, you can expect to stay apart, even if you treat each other amicably. This is acceptable if you are ready to move on. However, this is the worst step you can take if you still have any hopes of getting back together with your ex partner.

 

The best thing you can do after the relationship break-up is to grieve and to stay as far away from your ex partner as possible. Terminate your contact with them and focus on moving forward and making your life better for yourself. Do the things that you want and meet new people. Devote more time to relaxation and having fun.

 

Analyze your relationship impartially after you overcome the relationship break-up and start feeling comfortable in your new situation. Only then can you decide whether you want to have your ex in your life as a friend. If you find out you still have strong feelings for them and that you are willing and able to get back together, you should not try to get them back by pretending to be their friend. Be as open as possible.

 

Should You Take Advice from Friends?

 

It is probably easier to give than to take relationship break-up advice. That is why you should be particularly careful about what your friends say and advise you to do. Such situations are complex for you as well as for them. You have to find the best way to make the most out of your relationships with your friends without getting even more hurt and upset in the end.

 

Try to share your deepest secrets only with really close friends who really love you and care for you. If you are not ready to take their relationship break-up advice, just ask them to listen to you and to be sympathetic for the time being. You should not hesitate to open up your heart and experience all emotions that you have inside you. Crying is not shameful even for men. Similarly, getting your anger out in a manner that is safe for you and for others is not a sign of a mental illness.

 

Accept the fact that the relationship break-up advice that you get from your friends may not be exactly what you want to hear. In such cases, try to remember that they want only the best for you and that getting the best in the future may require going through some pain in the present. The most important thing is not to get angry and upset with your friends for giving you such advice. This may make you break other relationships and feel even worse.

 

Do not blindly follow the advice your friends give you. This point is similar to the previous one, even though the action is exactly the opposite. You should not refuse to accept every tip give to you. Similarly, you should not do everything that others tell you to do. After all, despite their best intentions your friends may give you the wrong relationship break-up advice and make things worse. In addition, you know the situation and your ex better than everyone else, so you should definitely not base your emotions and future actions on generalized statements that denigrate the sexes.

 

The best thing you can do is to appreciate the help, support and advice your friends give you, but to rely on your personal judgment and self-knowledge to cope with the relationship break-up and get your life back to normal. Remember that it is all about you and your life. The more control you have over your emotions and actions the better.

 

Starting Your New Life as a Single

 

Changing your relationship status to single is not an easy task, even though a separation can be finalized in mere seconds. You have to face reality after a relationship break-up no matter whether you like it or not. Use the following advice to go on with your life and be even happier than before.

 

Accept that you are single now and that there is nothing wrong with this. It is natural for you to feel alone and desperate after a relationship break-up. After all, your future plans with your ex have been ruined. However, this does not mean that being single is like being plagued.

 

There is nothing shameful about being on your own. Quite the opposite, this shows that you are a strong and independent person. Similarly, the fact that you are a single does not mean that you should think less of yourself. Things did not end up well with your ex, but you are still a person who deserves to love and be loved. Now you have a great opportunity to find someone who will appreciate you and love you for who you truly are.

 

Think of all the benefits of being single. You may not see these after a relationship break-up, so you certainly need a reminder. Being single means you do not have to put up with what your partner says and does. It means you do not have to worry about balancing your relationship. It means you are free to do everything that you have always wanted to do, but your ex has stopped you.

 

Join a group of single friends. You would not want to be around happy couples after a relationship break-up. You would want to be with people who are in exactly the same situation as yours and feel comfortable about it.

 

Do what singles do. Find a hobby that you really enjoy doing. Go out and have fun without worrying that you have to be careful about your partner's feelings. Expand your cultural horizons. Expand your social circle by meeting new people. You should do all the fun things that you want to do. There is no one to set any limits for you.

 

Start dating after recovering fully from the relationship break-up. Enjoying your life as a single is really important. An important aspect of this life is dating. Dates can be a lot of fun if you are confident and open up to other people.

 

The Emotional Stages of a Break Up

 

According to psychologists, there are five emotional stages of relationship break-up. You will most likely go through all of them, even if it is not in the order that psychologists describe. You have to find out what these stages are and how to go through each one of them. In this way, your recovery will be quicker and much less painful.

 

Denial is the first emotional relationship break-up stage. You refuse to believe everything is over. The best way to cope with this stage is try not to act on your emotions. Do your best to avoid seeking contact with your ex. At the same time you should try to share how you feel with a loved one so that you can take at least some of the burden away.

 

Shock is the next phase of the process. All of a sudden you are in a completely different situation. You may feel strong pain and all sorts of negative emotions. You may even feel incapable of doing anything. You do not know what to do and where to go. At this point, you may want to give in to your emotions so that you experience them fully. This will make you feel better eventually.

 

Confusion is what will occur next after the relationship break-up. You start asking yourself what went wrong, but you cannot find the answer. You keep going over the relationship and the separation over and over again. The best thing to do here is to come up with some valid answers without putting the blame on your or your ex. Just try to learn from your mistakes.

 

Bargaining is the next phase of the emotional relationship break-up. You are constantly coming up with different things you are ready and willing to do just to get back together with your ex partner. At the same time you realize that you cannot devise an effective method in which you can make the other person do what you want. At this point, it is better to channel your motivation to change towards improving your future life and towards self improvement.

 

Letting go of the old relationship is the final stage of the process. You realize that the relationship break-up is real and that even if you stay in touch with your ex things will never be the same again. Now you are truly liberated and you can work towards getting a fresh start. You should not hesitate to make plans for moving forward and for a better feature.

 

The Rebound Relationship

 

There are different ways in which you can cope with a relationship break-up. One of the ways is to get into a rebound relationship. A lot of people resort to this option without thinking whether it can actually help them and how. You should definitely learn more about this option and the different personal and social aspects related to it, so that you can decide whether it is right for you or not.

 

People usually enter a rebound relationship right after or soon after the break-up. The term rebound is used to explain the fact that the person wants to get back into a state in which they feel comfortable by replacing their partner with someone else. Usually, the new partner is someone who has strong feelings for the person and shows understanding of their grief.

 

A benefit you can expect to get is that you will recover from the relationship break-up more quickly. However, exactly the opposite may happen. You may start feeling even greater regret for losing your previous partner. Basically, your new partner may remind you of all the wonderful moments that you have had with your ex and this may make the pain worse.

 

Another problem with this option for recovery is that you may end up making a long-term commitment to someone whom you do not truly love. This can be a serious problem in the  future. You may end up with a relationship that you do not want to be in and end up splitting up again. This is something that you should protect yourself from.

 

The alternative scenario is equally undesirable. Once you recover from the relationship break-up which will happen sooner or later, you may feel like breaking up with your new partner so that you can go on with your life. Imagine how hurt and miserable this person will be. There is no way in which you can come out of the situation with a clear conscience. You will have to go through another split and you may even get harassed by your rebound partner.

 

Overall, it can be safely said that rebound relationships do not offer the recovery solution you are looking for. There are a lot of much better options for coping with a relationship break-up. You can readily rely on getting help, support and advice from your friends and relatives. You can also try to use this change in your life to make some improvements.

 

The Relationship Break-Up Buddy

 

You have probably heard of the expression birds of feather flock together. You can do this in case of a relationship break-up to recover and get to feel better. Simply put, you can find a relationship break-up buddy; a person who is in the same situation as you are. The idea here is that you will understand each other and give one another the support you need. Learn more about this option and how to use it effectively to feel better and get your life back to normal.

 

You have to understand what a relationship break-up buddy can do for you and what they cannot. As highlighted earlier, you can get support and understanding. Still, you cannot expect to have been through exactly the same thing as the other person. That is why you should not automatically assume that they will understand each and every emotion that you experience. Similarly, you can get some advice from this person, but you should always make the final choice by yourself.

 

In general, you should not expect your friend to be there for you 24/7. Basically, this should be a person who is ready to offer help and support every time you need them. Similarly, you should be prepared to do the same for them too.

 

It is important for you and your relationship break-up buddy to be on the same wavelength. If you prefer to sit at home and talk about your feelings and the other person prefers to focus on going out, having fun and drinking the night away, you may not be the right people to support and understand each other. You do not have to do what your friend does to feel better if you believe this is not the right "cure" for you.

 

Some people tend to go way over the top to feel better and resort to alcohol or give in to their hatred. You should definitely avoid following their example, even if they tell you this is the best way to get better. The idea here is to protect yourself from a relationship break-up buddy that does not do you any good. You may feel that you will never do something stupid, but when you are hurt and confused, you should be extra careful about your actions.

 

In conclusion, find a relationship break-up buddy that can understand you, support you and help you. But do not expect them to hold your hand all the time. Be careful not to get into more trouble just for the sake of keeping a relationship with your new friend.

 

Three Ways to Get Back to Normal

 

It is hard to cope with a relationship break-up. That is why it is best to let yourself grieve for a while. If you are feeling down, just let go of your emotions and experience them fully. After this, you will feel a lot better. The next step is to actually take action and make positive changes in your life. Use all of the following three methods to get back on track and start enjoying life again.