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The first step in the formula— change the memories of your past
We are now at a point where we get the idea that we can change our lives, that we can get ahead, that we may be stuck here and now but not forever. We also begin to understand that we will need to change the detrimental memories of the past.
The first step in the formula for creating an amazing life involves becoming aware of:
• our current mental and emotional state,
• the words we use to describe our life situation, and
• memories of past events that are still negatively affecting our life today.
The process to implement the first step in the formula includes:
• tools to release past emotions,
• various methods to revise the memory of negative past events,
• ways to perform mental surgery to remove the mind viruses, and
• the use of natural remedies to assist change.
“There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not starting and not going all the way.” — Buddha
Awareness – the steps of change
Once you begin this process of making your life better, be sure to continue it. Any attempt to change is usually accompanied by anxiety or even fear. Therefore, the formula requires that we begin by simply acknowledging that there might be—and probably are—thoughts and memories that are causing us to be stuck in the past.
Prior to even wanting to change, we were in a state of unconscious incompetence. In this state, we do not know, and we do not know that we do not know.
When we become aware of our desire to change, we enter the stage called conscious incompetence. This occurs when we know that we do not know and feel a desire to know.
With persistence and practice, we move into the state of conscious competence. Here, we know what to think and what to do, but we have to constantly generate conscious thoughts that will keep us moving in the correct, desired direction.
Ultimately, we reach the state of unconscious competence. This occurs when we have eliminated the mind virus and reprogrammed our thought process so that positive thinking is firmly implanted and automatic. After that, the old mind viruses fade from our awareness, and we no longer use them as a strategy for living.
Timeline of Traumatic Past Events
As you become aware and decide to change the memories of past traumatic events, you will need to create a timeline of your past. This is a list of memories of events and people associated with those events that are holding you back and keeping you from creating the life you desire.
But, before I relate more about this timeline of past traumatic events, please be aware that good things from the past also affect our lives.
When I was in the sixth grade, my teacher caught me flying paper airplanes in class. She dragged me by the ear into the hall and said some very important life-changing things to me. She said, “You are a leader and people will follow you. No matter what you do, good or bad, people will follow. So you must think very hard now about what you are going to do. Do you want good things to come to you or bad things? Those are your choices.” This was a positive experience that still resonates with me today. I do not know what she saw in me, but I am grateful for how she handled that situation.
Likewise, as you create your timeline of traumatic past events, you might also make notes about positive events that happened in your past. That positive list isn’t the focus of this exercise now because we are, instead, emphasizing how to rid ourselves of the memories of past traumatic events. But later, as you move into the state of conscious competence, you might look at that list of good things that happened to you to build competence and confidence.
Now think about your past. List the memories, without reliving the trauma, of as many past unpleasant events as you can. The timeline might include:
1. Grief, Loss, Broken Attachment of Any Kind. This can be the death of a family member or a favorite pet. It could be the loss of a job or missed opportunity. I know a couple who built their own log home. They cut and peeled and cured and notched all the logs by hand themselves. It took over three years to build that house. A few months after completion, a faulty appliance started a fire and burned the home to the ground. Neither have been well since.
2. Lost Love, Real or Imagined, Loss of Romantic Relationship. This is somewhat like grief; however, subtly different. It has to do with loss of a romantic, sexual relationship. This can be real, actually being dumped by a soul mate, or it can be imagined. “Brandi,” a teenage patient, was in love with a rock star in a band that she had never seen live. She had all his music and paraphernalia. She had never met the man in person. Yet, when he married someone, she was crushed for months. She needed some counseling and homeopathic remedies to help her return to a normal life.
3. Abandonment, Forsaken Feelings, Helplessness. These feelings arise from real or perceived abandonment. This can be related to a recent situation, or it can be related to an abandonment event from childhood. A child might be contaminated with abandonment issues because his or her parents were separated during the pregnancy. This also applies to people who might be homeless or have no resources. This definitely is a factor in the emotions of children of divorce with an absent parent. Some people were abandoned by parents who were alcoholics, ill, or worked all the time. Adopted people frequently suffer from this issue.
4. Mortification, Humiliation, Embarrassment, Guilt; Being Teased, Bullied, or Raped. The emotional events that cause health problems in this category have to do with events in which people were very embarrassed or humiliated. Rape can fit into this category. Someone with a birth defect who was teased relentlessly might be affected throughout life by these kinds of events. I care for a man in his forties who wet his pants while giving a little speech when he was in the fourth grade. He had magnified that event into something bigger, instead of minimizing it, and it has affected him his whole life.
5. Fright. People of any age can have frights. The effects of these usually subside gradually; however, sometimes they can continue to cause problems. I once saw a little boy with stuttering problems. After taking a careful history, the story unfolded that the boy also had fear of bright lights and preferred to sleep in total darkness. The cause of this was related to a visit to a hospital emergency room after a fever seizure when he was two years old. When he regained consciousness after the seizure, extremely bright lights shining in his eyes in the ER left him with a general anxiety and phobic reaction to bright lights. Homeopathic remedies resolved both the stuttering and the fear of the bright lights.
6. The Shock of Bad News. What is the worst bad news you can think of? For some, it is the death of a family member. For others, it is the diagnosis of cancer or some other serious health problem. The shock of bad news can have dramatic effects, but this can be removed with homeopathy and with the simple techniques I will share later in this book.
7. Worry, Anticipation of Bad Things Happening, Performance Anxiety. Some people have a mental habit of finding the worst in a situation. Some always look for the worst case scenario. A minister at one of the churches I attended a few years back gave this good advice: “Pray the solution, not the problem.” People who can consciously take their mind off the bad and mentally play simulations of what they would rather have instead will soon create a new habit of looking for the best outcome.
8. Disappointment. This can be a subtle emotion and is often cumulative from years of disappointment, usually from childhood. The child who is promised a trip to the ballpark, the dance, or the zoo but cannot go due to the parents’ other obligations will often lose trust in the parents as well as other authority figures and spouses. Other disappointments such as not winning a contest, not being given a role in a play, not being accepted into medical school, going through bankruptcy, or missing an opportunity are often devastating.
9. Overexertion of the Mind, Emotional Excitement, Burnout. Many children and adults suffer from this emotional situation. Often these people are diagnosed with ADHD or anxiety disorders. I once had a six-year-old patient with severe anxiety. The history revealed that his mother nearly died from a reaction to a medication during the child’s birth, and he nearly died as well. This separation from his life source instilled severe chronic anxiety, which was successfully treated with a homeopathic remedy.
10. Anger, Real or Suppressed. It is important to understand that the emotion of anger is normal and actually a good venting tool. The trouble comes when the anger stays for a long time or when it leads to violent actions. Some families use the Five-Minute Rule. This is very simple. It is okay to be angry; however, it can only last for five minutes. After that, it is time to forgive and forget. Holding anger releases some chemicals into the blood that are very damaging to tissues and greatly accelerates aging.
11. Homesickness, Empty-Nest Syndrome. Many people do not realize the devastating effect this can have. Sometimes, there is a period of homesickness when children leave home. Usually they get over it within a few weeks or months; however, some suffer for years. Often a child experiences homesickness when uprooted if the parents move to a different town for their work or military reassignment. Parents also experience similar emotions with empty nest syndrome.
12. Jealousy. This is a huge emotional block that some people carry their whole lives. The negative impact it has on the body chemistry is subtle yet very powerful. Often, over time, this emotion becomes chronic. It will eventually attack a person’s genetically weak system, leading to the production of illness, not to mention the years of unhappiness that are associated with retained jealous feelings.
13. Dishonesty, Theft, Loss of Integrity. Most people have some event from the past that involves taking something that they did not own. This can lead to feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment. We need to make restitution, if possible. This can be done anonymously or just done mentally if physical repayment is not possible. Then we must forgive ourselves and move on. Later, I will present a formula to release these negative feelings forever.
Write Your Timeline
Now that you’ve read through this list of traumatic memories, stop reading and write your timeline if you have not already done so.
Go back to the preceding list as often as necessary. Use it to jog your memory, looking for emotional and physical events that might be stopping you from moving forward in your life.
This exercise is necessary. If you do not do this part of the formula now, you are not ready to read and receive the rest of the information in this book. I understand and have been in your shoes. Sometimes, we just do not want to face that dragon again. So, be aware that is not necessary to relive that past event, just name it. Often we think we have successfully buried the past, but it is still an anchor attached to our ankle, keeping us emotionally stuck at the age at which the event occurred. This is why some adults act like three-year-olds.
So, please, put the book down and write your timeline NOW. Just do it. You do not have to think about them; just list some memories of the events of your past. If the big events are too painful, list some “smaller” ones and release those first.
Below is an unedited letter from a patient who used this technique. This story might help you overcome your hesitation to write a timeline.
After dealing with chronic hives for over 18 months and some great advice from a friend, I made an appointment to see Bob Huttinga.
I have learned that my body does not react well to any synthetic medicines so when I had heard Mr. Huttinga PA used homeopathic treatments, I was very excited. A while into my appointment I could tell right away that the Lord had sent me to where I needed to be, to finally get the help that I needed. The hives were discussed and a treatment plan was established. Which I must say after three weeks it is working great.
Also in my appointment Mr. Huttinga could tell there was more going on with me than I even was aware of. He asked if I was dealing with any grief and I had to admit that my dog had recently passed away unexpectedly and that I was still grieving over the loss of my Dad, gone 27 years and my Mom, gone 12 years. He suggested that I write them a letter. What? I thought. He explained the benefits of putting your thoughts down on paper and then after reading it aloud and then burning the letter, this will help me to allow myself to let go of the grief and start moving on. That these emotions may be adding to the chronic hives. So I thought what the heck I would try it.
You see I needed to make some medical decisions for my mother near her end and to this day I always questioned if I had done the right thing by her. I would remember that scene in the hospital every day. So I wrote my parents a letter and told them I was sorry if I had caused my Mom any undo suffering and that the decisions that I made I felt were right at the time. Then with time you question that. I also told them that I needed to forgive myself and start living life the way they taught me to....with no regrets. I told them that I loved them and to please watch out for my dog that had come to them recently. That I was really going to try to let go of the bad memories and fill that space with good ones instead.
To my amazement two days later as I finished my prayers and was climbing into bed I realized that today I did not relive that horrible day. That I didn’t even think of it once. I was amazed! The letter worked for me and my grief. I know now that I may have thought it was a bit strange to do this but I have written more letters since. To my husband, friends and even my dog. The load feels lighter, the shoulders more relaxed and even a lot more days of “hives free.” Who would have thought that writing letters to those that we love, we miss, even to those that are still here and have unresolved issues, would do so much good for the heart, the body, the mind, and the soul.
Thank you, Mr. Huttinga, for everything you have done for me. I thank God every day for healers like you.
PR 6-1-15
Use Your Timeline
Once you have written the timeline of traumatic emotional events in your life, you can begin to reprogram those events and change how they affect you from this point forward.
Remember that you cannot change your past. However, you can change how memories of your past affect you today and in your future.
There are a number of good methods for reprogramming memories of old events to make these changes. Here are some releasing, healing exercises that have helped me and that I recommend for you.
Write Emotional Release Letters
Write letters to anyone with whom you might have had any conflicts. This usually includes parents, bosses, spouses, ex-spouses, children, someone who abused you, or someone you might have hurt. It can also include old friends or anything or anyone who has bothered you in any way. Very likely, you will write some letters to yourself. You may also write to a diseased part of yourself, a body part that you do not admire, a house that will not sell, or a car that keeps breaking down. I know, this sounds weird, but read on. You will understand soon.
Write your letter with a pencil on paper. Tapping your fingers on metal typewriter keys or a plastic computer keyboard does not imprint the information in your brain in the same way that writing it longhand does. So, handwrite it, please. The letter can be 10 pages or two paragraphs, and anything in between is acceptable.
At the end of the letter, add the following statement: “I will no longer carry this debt for you physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.”
Then add: “I love you. I bless you. I release you. I forgive you for everything I think you have done to me.”
It is important to write these endings exactly as they appear here.
Read this letter, with the endings, aloud three times, and then burn it. Make a release ceremony around burning the letter. Release the smoke to God or the Universe and the ashes to the Earth. Sometimes immediately, but usually within a few days, you will feel internal emotional shifts, either subtly or dramatically. Often the people around you will seem to change.
Write as many letters as you wish until you feel you have released all the old baggage you have been carrying around from the past.
In a week or so, to see if you are still holding onto unfinished emotional attachments, simply think about the person or part of your body to whom you wrote your letter. If you experience any unpleasant emotions, you must write another letter. I once had to write six letters to an individual to remove the emotional effects of a very traumatic event. Had I not removed it, I would have acted unconsciously on those deeply imprinted negative memories the rest of my life.
You might find it difficult to write “I love you” to someone who really hurt you, so think of this as if you are loving all of humanity or all of creation. If at first you cannot write “I love you,” skip that phrase and add it back in when you write this person again as you continue to release their memory.
You may write a letter to yourself to release something that you think you did wrong or were embarrassed about or because of a health issue. Write the letter in the same manner and just imagine the letter is to your younger self at the age you were when the event occurred. Remember, you did the best you could at the time with the tools that you had. Then add the ending: “I will no longer carry this debt physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually.”
Then add: “I love you. I bless you. I release you. Thank you for carrying the guilt and shame for all these years. Now, it is time to let go. I forgive you for everything I think you have done to me.”
Read it all aloud three times and burn it, giving the smoke to God and the ashes to the Earth.
When we store impressions of emotional events in our mind, the brain is supposed to minimize them until we eventually forget. And while our conscious mind forgets, the subconscious never forgets and continues to act on that information. In some cases, the subconscious mind will even magnify memories to create an impression of the event that is worse or more traumatic than it was originally.
This is what happens with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). A memory of a traumatic event is stored in our DNA as a vibrational frequency and in the brain as a neurochemical pathway. When a trigger incident occurs, the memory of the original event automatically triggers a stressful fight or flight reaction.
The same situation happens with phobias. If someone has a fear of heights from nearly falling off a water tower, even seeing someone else standing on the edge of a tall structure will trigger a phobic fight or flight, adrenaline reaction in the observer’s body.
The letter writing and other techniques I will share will change that reaction so the trigger no longer reacts automatically with “fight or flight” body chemistry.
I have heard hundreds of stories of how releasing these old memories has changed lives, but here are a few.
Three days after writing a forgiveness letter to his mother, CJ found his biological father who had also been searching for him.
Less than one week after writing a letter to her house that had been for sale for two years, GL had an offer and earnest money in her hand.
The next day, after PM wrote and burned a letter to a problem employee, a shift occurred and now this problem employee is the most productive agent in the company.
Within a few days of writing a letter to his wife about her habit of leaving the cap off the toothpaste, HN found that it no longer bothered him.
LD was having uncontrollable grief six months after losing two pets to an infectious illness. Within days of writing letters to the dogs and the veterinarian, she felt the shift as the mourning eased and anger subsided.
Less than a week after writing an emotional release letter to her alcoholic husband, EJ said that he told her he was getting tired of drinking every night until he passed out. She wrote two more letters. She said she felt like she did not care anymore if he drank or not. In less than a month, he stopped using any alcohol.
We know from quantum physics, through a process called entanglement, we are at some level connected to every other soul on the Earth. Some of these attachments are unhealthy because of the memory of the past emotional or physical trauma, but unless we purposefully release that person, we will stay connected in that unhealthy way. These are techniques that actually help us to “Let go and let God.”
Here is an unedited letter from someone who has read an advanced copy of this book. Please follow her advice. Do this first step now. I know there is resistance here. Change creates anxiety, and we want to procrastinate or think we are fine the way we are. But you will achieve great peace of mind when you clear some of the old memories by writing, reading, releasing and forgiving the memories of the past.
“As a Happiness Life Coach, I always leave my clients with homework steps in order to help them achieve the results that they wish to enjoy! As I read Bob Huttinga’s wonderful book, A Shortcut to Success, I followed his three homework steps in the exact order he laid out. I can tell you now that, without a doubt, Step 1 (clearing out the memories of the past by writing release/forgiveness letters) is by far the most important step of the three steps. If one does not complete this first step, one will surely re-create the past over and over again. I learned this the hard way. Now I know better.
Writing letters of forgiveness and release has altered my present experience completely. My mind is mostly healed and I am free to create differently now! I’m happy and excited about today and about my future! Thank you, Bob!”
GK 8-15
If writing these letters seems to make no change in your feelings and emotions, re-evaluate to make sure you are doing all the steps: Writing the letter, adding the endings, reading it aloud, and burning it with a little releasing ceremony.
If still no change occurs, use one of the other techniques listed below.
“In forgiving ourselves, we make the journey from guilt for what we have done (or not done) to celebration of what we have become.” — Joan Borysenko
Re-Vision (Revise the memory of past events)
Another technique is one that I learned from Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). This is a tool that takes into account how the body communicates with itself. I call this technique re-vision. Vision means to see something. Re-vision or to revise means to visualize something again, however, this time imagine it