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The second step in the formula —clarify your goals and desires
“A man can fail many times, but he isn’t a failure until he begins to blame somebody else.” — John Burroughs
The second step in the formula is to clarify your goals and desires.
In this step, we must think about the content of our goals. We are not yet going to focus on the process of how we will arrive at the goal, but I am going to teach you how to fine tune this process of imagining and visualizing your desires. To clarify, imagination is the creation of a mental image of something new that you have never seen or imagined before, whereas visualization is the replay of a mental image of something you have previously seen or imagined.
Clarifying your goals is the second step in the formula to getting ahead and creating an amazing life. It would be started only after you have cleaned up some of your past limiting memories.
Please understand that clarifying your desires and learning to think correctly from the future before fixing the past will do you no good. That would be as ineffective as stepping on the gas pedal of your car before starting the engine.
Failure to complete step one before doing the second step is one of the reasons that many people found that the concepts presented in Think and Grow Rich and The Secret were not completely effective. They tried to place the cart before the horse, and that simply does not work. Drying your hair before taking a shower is an incorrect and ineffective sequence.
In this step, we will learn how to think about our desires and clarify them.
Remember what Earl Nightingale said, “We become what we think about most of the time.”
Our minds are creative. This does not mean that we are creative only in the areas of music, art, writing, poetry, and so on; it means that our minds literally have the ability to create our experience.
The word “create” means to bring something into existence. Richard Bach, author of Hypnotizing Maria, describes it like this, using some made-up words:
Thought creates Imajons. These come together to form Conceptons. There are Positive Conceptons, which are Exhilarons, Excytons, Rhapsodons, Jovions, and Negative Conceptons, which are Gloomons, Tormentons, Tribulons, Miserons. These Conceptons form clouds which become probability waves which vibrate at tachyon speeds which become the holograms of our lives.
You might need to read this paragraph a few times to understand the concept. Go back now and read that again. Thoughts create imaginings that become concepts, positive or negative, which become clouds that become waves that vibrate at speeds greater than light, which manifest into who we are, what we do, and what we have.
An outcome always begins with an idea, a simple thought. Put this into a more practical scene. Most of you have, at one time or another, purchased a car. Let’s examine that process. First, there is an idea. For some reason, you decide that you need or desire a car. Your desire may be of three different types:
1. Your desire might be vague or general, like you need reliable transportation—any car will do.
2. Your desire might be very specific with exact details of color, make, model, engine size, and so on.
3. Your desire might be just a feeling associated with buying a car—feeling great, sitting behind the wheel, checking out your reflection in the store windows as you drive down the street.
The idea must gather momentum. In order for enough momentum to grow to critical mass, you must have a really good feeling about this vehicle. If there is not a good feeling, if there is any fear or doubt, you can never get enough momentum to create the car. It will always remain an idea, just a thought. If, however, the thought grows large enough over time to reach critical mass, you begin to attract, like a magnet, the people and situations that will bring the car to you. When the critical mass is enough, the right car will find you.
I once saw a Smart Car by Mercedes Benz in a movie and said, “I like that. Someday, I am going to own one of those little cars.” Occasionally, after seeing one on the street or in a movie, I would re-affirm my desire. I attached no specifics to it. Although, because I’m tall, I did stop at a dealership in Denver to look the car over and sit in it to make sure that I could get in and out of it comfortably.
One day, probably two years later, while driving to work, I saw one parked on the roadside with a “For Sale” sign on it. Excited, I called the number only to be told that a few minutes before the car had been sold to someone who had looked at it the day before. I was disappointed, but again reaffirmed my desire, “Someday I will own and drive one of those little cars.” The next day, we left for a two-week vacation. The day we got back, I saw that the car was back on the side of the road again. This time, I stopped at the owner’s house and spoke with him. It seems the man who had bought this little car had bought it for his wife for a birthday surprise only to find that she did not like the car. He had brought the car back, and “magically” it again appeared in front of me. I immediately bought the car, this time for $500 less than the original price.
I became the owner of a really nice Smart Car just by thinking about owning it. Of course, some action and money were required. But please understand that the action and the money are the least important part of the creative process. When done correctly, after the critical mass of thought is compiled, you will be guided to have effective action and do whatever it takes until your goal is present in your physical reality.
On the first day of 2015, Barb and I were writing goals for the year. She wrote, “I desire to have a different car this year.” She never buys new cars. We always find great deals on slightly used ones. Three days later, Barb had an accident with her car. Neither she nor her passenger were injured, but the car was totaled by the insurance company, and she is now driving a newer, better car. This law of co-creation works. We do not have to know how, just that it will work and does work all the time.
This is the process by which we create every part of our lives. Most people have never thought about this in this way. And even if you have heard of the concept of the Law of Attraction from books like The Secret and Think and Grow Rich, you might still not know how to make it work. How many times have you wanted something and not received it? How many times have you felt disappointed and given up?
In this book, I will show you how to change that. Read on, and you will learn how you can be, do, or have anything you desire.
Some time ago, Barb and I taught a workshop called 21 Ways to Find Peace. This was based on the material produced by author Byron Katie. One of the things she teaches is that we need to mind our own business. Ms. Katie says that there are three kinds of business: Your Business, My Business, and God’s Business.
God’s Business has to do with the big things that we really cannot control or change. Things like the weather, earthquakes, hurricanes, and so on. If we worry about them, we create acidity and inflammation in our own bodies. We can take some action and pray for the people involved, we can donate money, and we can even volunteer our time to relief efforts. But when we catch ourselves thinking and worrying about these big things, we need to stop for a minute and say to ourselves, “This is God’s business and He will take care of it.” Then just relax and let it go.
My Business is anything that directly affects me. I must pay attention to and take care of those things. They are my responsibility. Only I can fix them. For example, if I smoke and it is causing health issues, I am the only one who can correct that situation. No nagging from friends and family will make that change. And God does not care. He will help if we ask correctly, but He will not interfere if we insist on continuing with detrimental behaviors. If I am behind in my property taxes, only I can fix that. If I do not, someone else—the government—will step in and take care of it for me. I must take care of my own business.
Your Business is the stuff that only you are responsible for. If you don’t take care of your yard, it is your business. If I am upset about that, that is my business. It is not my business to fix your lawn or try to make you fix it, but it is my business to look at myself and how I react. My anger can make me ill, but it does nothing to you or to your lawn. I should only give advice or express my opinion on your business if you ask. Otherwise, it is best if I stay out of your business.
Many of us have grown children and we still think it is our business to run their lives. Let up. After your children reach the age of 16 or so, your responsibility is done. If they make what you perceive as “mistakes,” they have to be responsible for them. Let them be. Do not meddle. Love them, pray that they will find their path, and let them go on their merry—or not so merry—way. It is not right if we take away their lessons and their chances to learn from what they do. Remember children learn by what they see, not from what they hear.
We all have lessons to learn. Most of us have to learn to “live and let live.” We must take care of our own business and let everyone else take care of theirs. If we spend our time taking care of our own business, we will be healthier and more at peace. Try it. Practice. Every time you find your mind in God’s business or someone else’s business, step back and let it go. You will begin to feel less anxiety and more peace in your mind and body. You will be healthier and happier.
Your goals and desires for the future should be your business. You have to set a goal in order to achieve any outcome. Most people never begin this process. A few years ago, as Barb and I were getting ready to leave on a vacation to Hawaii, several people said to me, “You are so lucky. We can’t afford to do that.” The truth is, I am lucky, but not in the sense that most people mean. My definition of luck is: “Priorities and Planning Meet Preparedness.” Barb and I decided about two years earlier that we wanted to take a trip to Hawaii because neither of us had been there before. We set that as our priority. And we began to plan! We saved money. We watched for special deals on airfare and accommodations.
So think about this process. You make a decision to do something. In your mind, you see yourself there, and you automatically begin the creative process. If you never decide to go, nothing will ever happen. So, the first step is the choice to do it. Set the goal.
The next step is to ask: how much moolah are you going to need to make this happen. This is preparedness.
Money is also called currency. Like a current in a stream, it implies flow and movement. Money is a renewable resource. In order for money to do something for you, it must move and go somewhere or to someone in exchange for what you desire. Currency does neither you nor anyone else any good in your pocket. But to take a trip, you need to accumulate some deniro to exchange for that trip. You do not want to pay for this trip on a credit card. Save upfront so the entire trip is all paid for when you go. Then the memories of the trip are not ruined by the stress and regret of having to pay the credit card bill.
Let’s say you need $5,000. For most of us, we look at that and feel overwhelmed. We often think, “I just do not have that kind of money. You are lucky to be able to afford that, but I cannot afford it.” So look at your budget. Ask yourself, “How can I afford this?” Where could you squeeze out a few bucks each month to begin accumulating some jing for that trip?
Here are a few places in our daily lives where we could make some changes. Some people smoke at, let’s say, $5.00 per pack, which is $150 per month or $1,800 per year. If you go out for dinner to even a modest restaurant or to the movies once a week for $30, you are paying out $1,500 per year.
I used to party once a month or more and easily spend $50 each time so that is $600. Most people spend $50 to $150 per month on cable television. If you cancel that service and turn off the tube, at the average rate you have another $1,200 per year. How many of us buy doodads all the time, junk that we do not need? Many of us spend $2 to $5 per day for coffee and snacks. That’s another $1,000 per year you can save by packing a lunch instead of eating out. Ka-ching. Once you look, there are lots of possibilities.
So, you have the three Ps: Priority, Planning, and Preparedness.
Once you decide to go on your trip to recharge your solar batteries and see the world, you must make some priority decisions to budget the flow of your currency into the trip fund—or whatever special fund you choose. It might take two or three years to build up your “fun” fund, but it will be well worth it.
When you begin thinking like this, things happen. Barb and I found a great deal on a cruise that was half the usual price. That happened because we were prepared, not because we were lucky. You can experience something like that too—if you’re “lucky” in the “priority, planning, preparedness” sense of the word.
Changing your thinking like this is also great for your health. You eliminate a bunch of really bad, unhealthy habits and convert them into life-changing, mind-expanding experiences. Enjoy the ride.
So begin to think about your desires. Sometimes they just seem like dreams that could never come true. But to clarify them, you must write them down. At first, this might seem too big. If you have cleaned out some of the past limiting memories and mind viruses, it will be easier to think that your dreams can come true.
Write a bucket list or a set of long-term goals. These will be things you desire to do and places you desire to see and people you desire to meet before you die. It is good to have 50 or 100 items on that list. When you do this, your inner conscious mind works in the background to bring those adventures into reality. I recall saying as a small farm boy in Montana that I would like to climb the pyramids in Egypt someday. I did not think of it often, but every once in a while, the thought would float through my mind. Some 50 years later, that dream became a reality. If I had never stated this as a dream or desire, it would never have happened.
Write down with pen on paper, not with a computer, short-term goals in the following areas: family and relationships; occupation, job and career; recreation and fun; money, income, savings and retirement; and health and fitness.
These must be written in positive terms. Our subconscious mind cannot focus on the reverse of an idea. If I say, “Do not think of a purple bear,” you instantly construct a mental image of a purple bear. This also happens with the negative version of goals. We cannot help but focus on what we are lacking and what we do not want to experience. And you guessed it, that negative version is the exact thing we will create in our lives. As you write these goals, use a little trick called “begin with the end in mind.” Write them as if you have a magic genie who will grant you unlimited wishes. As you write, do not judge the goal whether you think you can or cannot have it or do it. Just write it. You can edit these goals later.
• Family and relationships
Write goals for all relationships, not just romantic relationships. Think of children, parents, employers, customers, friends, the clerk in the store, and everyone who you deal with.
• Occupation, job and career
Write goals for your career, doing something that you love to do. Describe the characteristic of the job or business. Inside or outside work? How many hours per day? Per week? With people or alone? Easy or challenging? Creative or routine? Different each day or the same each day? Regular or flexible schedule? Working days or nights?
• Recreation and fun
Write goals for your recreation and fun. Travel or stay at home? Outdoors or inside? Alone or with others? Adrenaline or relaxed? What things and toys are important to you?
• Money, income, savings and retirement
Write goals for your income, savings, and retirement. How much money would you like to make per year? How much are you going to save per paycheck? What are you going to do when you retire? How much money are you going to give away? When? To whom? What will be your monthly income when you are retired?
• Health and fitness
Write goals for your perfect health. What is your ideal body shape and size? What age are you going to be when you pass away? What year will it be when you pass away? How much exercise are you going to do? What kind of exercise are you going to do? What is your nutrition going to be like? What kind of natural medicines and supplements can you take to achieve perfect health?
Take some time to answer these questions as well as ask questions of your own. Clearly write some goals that may be long-term and short-term. Make no judgment and do not try to figure out how these things could happen. Remember, you’re creating that amazing life. Write these goals as if you have a magical genie who will grant your every wish. Write as if you are already there, experiencing that desire. When you attempt to determine how these things will happen, doubt and fear begin to creep in. This pours water on the fires of creation. Do not tell anyone else about your goals. That will definitely pour water on your sparks of creation.
Your goals are the prophecies of what someday you will become. — David Camron Gikandi