Chapter 11: How to Get to Consentopia
Do you want to live in Consentopia? Me, too! We can make it happen and here’s how:
- The first secret of the Consentopian Club is to TELL EVERYONE! This is not information you should keep to yourself. Everyone should start talking about consent culture. We have to spread the word to make Consentopia a reality. It’s not enough for survivors to learn about consent because we are not the ones responsible for sexual violence in the first place. EVERYONE needs to know about consent!
- Start using the tools in this book to implement consent culture in everyday\\ life. What does this mean? Simple: start asking for consent in everyday situations such as asking before touching someone instead of proceeding without consent. If the concept of consent is new to them, they might be surprised. However, you can explain to them that you’re simply establishing a culture of consent, a world where people ask and listen to the needs of others before taking action. If they are interested in discovering more information about consent culture, tell them about this book so that they, too, can be a part of Consentopia. THIS IS HOW WE WIN!
- Use this book to help you navigate consent in the bedroom. If you are still getting used to verbalizing consent in a sexual setting, refer back to the lists in this book to help you find the words to say to your partner(s).
- Start a consent club! This is a wonderful way to get more people to Consentopia. How does this work? It’s up to you! Your club, your rules. Consent clubs can meet at a school, library, park, religious institution, or home and can involve discussions on consent and sexual assault. It’s important to get the conversation started when it comes to consent and a club is the perfect way to get people’s thoughts in alignment with consent culture by discussing the values of Consentopia on a weekly or monthly basis.
- Start a book club where you read Consentopia and other books/articles that shed light on consent.
- Make consent a part of your lifestyle. Get creative in extending compassion and respect towards others while implementing consent culture.
- Teach children early about consent. Ask them before hugging and teach other adults to do the same. When they say, “no”, allow the child to maintain that right instead of chastising or scolding them for having boundaries. Children have as much of a
right to consent or deny consent as any other person. If we really want to establish Consentopia, we must educate our future leaders on consent as early as possible.
- Hold yourself accountable when you disrespect someone’s consent. Apologize. Make amends. This type of accountability will help others see how important consent is to you. When you lead by example, they will see how much consent culture benefits them, too. They will learn that their voice and boundaries are important. This can create a world of healing for those who had not yet realized this.
- If you see someone’s “no” being ignored, do what you can to help out.
- Send prayers up for the consent culture shift. No matter what you believe in, prayer always helps. This cultural change may not happen overnight and there may be pushback from people who are set in their old ways of rape culture. Let us keep in mind that rape culture does benefit many…the patriarchy to be exact. Let us stay unified on the frequency of love as we move forward so that consent culture can outshine the darkness allowing us to live happily, ever all.
