To become a giver means putting yourself first. This sounds like the ultimate selfish act, but is necessary for change. If you always focus on what others need and want, ultimately this leads to thoughts of powerlessness and resentment.
Between you and those you love, a pattern has been established over many years. Power has started with parents over children. Hopefully, this power has not been wrongfully used and clung to as the child grows towards adulthood. By this time, some sort of balance ought to have been achieved. The child should be able to move into their adult life unencumbered by feelings of guilt, and a new neutral, balanced base established within the family.
Often that child grows up with feelings of deep unresolved conflict towards that period of their lives. If these feelings are not resolved, that person will have a distorted map of reality. This dysfunction will lessen the person's ability to cope with reality and stress levels.
A flexible and safe childhood leads to a greater ability to cope with change, and adjust to the changing circumstances of life. Resisting life's reality due to unresolved childhood problems leads to