CHAPTER 10
BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY
Do you remember that time you were little and you had had a brawl with your little sibling over menial everyday issues? Rather for your parents or guardian to listen to you both, they chose to take a stand with your sibling’s side of the story believing him to be the underdog even when he caused the problem. You would have felt depressed, calculated how you would get your revenge on your sibling and muse over the inadequacies of your parents or guardian.
Many families have had their homes divided because someone failed to listen to all sides of the story. Favoritism ranked ahead of truth, thus bias judgments became the order. The inadequacies of families have thus been transferred into the larger society where lies and half-truths now pervade the air.
The extent of the failure of our social system is the result of the many half-truths we tell ourselves. The causes of conflicts have been tagged to social imbalance, truancy, and other negative vices. While this may be true, it’s a half-truth. Conflicts are often calculated processes sponsored by high profile individuals to disrupt peace in other to achieve their aim. Negative vices are only used as cover to perpetuate organized conflicts.
When a young man dies of suicide, doctors diagnose depression as the ailment and psychologists search out for the cause of the depression. They conclude that perhaps the young man’s lover had left him, or he had lost his job or yet still he had failed his exam. They fail to realize how much the negative competitive influence of society caused by the marginalization between the haves and haves-not had influenced the young man who found himself unable to meet with the increasingly hypothetical high standard of his society.
Many wars the world over are considered as revolutions meant to free the populace and empower them against their autocratic leaders. Peace is lost and the country falls into a worst state than it was in the hands of the perceived autocratic leader. Every Dick and Harry gets a gun from a deal worth billions of dollars from international gun manufacturers and the bum sound is the day’s order for a short while until autocratic leader is off seat and the people discover that no other person could have best fit the seat. At this point peace could never be possible.
The increasing trend of teenage pregnancy is alarming. Parents blame societal influences and the failure of the school system to check their wards. They fail to realize that it all begins from their inadequacies to check them at home; what they watch, drink, who their friends are etc. They play the blame game and who loses are their wards.
More often than not, we allow ourselves the fun of enjoying the one-sided movie that the woods often show us where only one person is lead actor. We conclude that the success of the movie is a result of the charismatic attribute, tenacity as well as other creative attributes the actor possesses. We are blind to the fact that the actor is only merely acting out on orders from the producers and directors.
Just as money won’t be complete without both sides, we can’t characterize an event by considering just one view. We will be myopic and have a distorted view of the event.
Bias judgment of an event can have lasting implications like a feud between brothers, a breakdown between business partners, a lack of collaboration between team members etc. However, when we listen to everyone’s voice, one is able to give sound judgment for the overall good of the group to which he belongs, thus discouraging apathy.
Don’t conclude on an event or issue when you have not gotten enough knowledge to back up your conclusion. When the premise on which your conclusion is based is faulty, it’s only a matter of time before cracks are noticed.
Get adequate knowledge and vary opinions. People’s conclusion on a matter may vary and always varies. This is because, their knowledge bank defers. See reasons why they think differently, accept their difference, and see how to align the difference for the entire good of everyone.
One truth is that the story can only be complete when one tells it from his angle and another from her angle and then their individual stories are combined to produce the big hit complete story.
Before you make that conclusion, be sure you have heard all the sides there is to the story.